Not only do I hate him, but I also despise him because he has been deceiving himself and others.
Many feelings that he had deliberately ignored came up clearly, and his heart was clear, but he didn't dare to admit it.
The night he came back from Si's house, he held Qu Motong's hand while he was half asleep to prevent her from leaving. He was already subconsciously approaching her. When he woke up at night, he saw her lying on his bed in a twisted posture, looking very uncomfortable. , he hugged her to him very distressedly, she cried out coldly, so he hugged her.
He told himself that this was just about keeping each other warm, and it did not involve feelings between men and women, nor was there any desire.
So he hugged her with peace of mind and held her all night.
He was clearly awake in the morning, but he couldn't bear to open his eyes. Until Qu Motong woke up and ran away in a hurry, he felt as if he was lost.
He has never seriously faced his feelings for Qu Motong. He does not resist her. He is willing to talk to her about his concerns. He doesn't want to see her sad. He wants her to be happy. He helps her get close to Shen Yan but doesn't like to see them talking. Together... He only attributed all this abnormality to his guilt towards her. He felt that he did not resist her because he was sorry for her, and he was just trying to make up for her by being nice to her.
After knowing that Qu Motong was the gift, he suddenly realized that he could no longer lie to himself. He was special and concerned about her. He had feelings for her long before Yanyan's accident.
He didn't mind that she kept calling him "President", that Shen Yan could call her "Momo" affectionately, that he had a big fight with her father because of her father's insult to her family's poor moral character, and that she had a scandal with him. conflict……
Then, something happened to Yanyan, and he was so afraid that Qu Motong would leave, which actually showed his feelings.
He finally knew the reason for his absent-mindedness after getting together with Shen Ran. His feelings had already transferred from Shen Ran to another person. He didn't love Shen Ran anymore, so he didn't accept her marriage proposal. I don't want to have children with her.
He fell in love with Qu Motong. Maybe there was guilt and heartache in this love, but it was indeed love.
Perhaps since six years ago, Qu Motong has taken root deeply in his heart, making him remember it from time to time and thinking about it to this day.
If that "gift" was Qu Motong, that is to say, Yanyan was his son. Qu Motong wanted to dedicate himself to the wrong person, but he also mistakenly regarded her as Shen Ran's "gift" , then there will be that night where everyone has their own concerns.
Yanyan is actually his son!
Si Junyi finally couldn't help it and cried loudly on the terrace.
God was so cruel to him. He and Yanyan had never even known each other, and Yanyan was already gone. This regret could never be made up for in this life, and more importantly, Yanyan died because of him. He was the indirect Yan Yan was killed. Qu Motong was right to scold him. He calmly and objectively called the police because it had nothing to do with him. If he had known that the kidnapper was just a waiter and had no intention of fighting, he would never have done it. Call the police, it's only 10 million, it's not like he can't afford it...
When things have developed like this, he has already trapped himself. He has no way to tell Qu Motong that he was the one who had a night of fun with her back then. He also doesn't dare to tell Qu Motong that Yanyan is his son. He is afraid of Qu Motong. I will blame him, I will hate him even more, I will really leave him and never look back.
He has already caused Qu Motong to lose Yanyan. He can no longer cause the dreams she has had for so many years to be shattered in an instant. She loves Shen Yan. If she knows that her first time was given to him instead of Shen Yan, she will What would be the reaction? Si Junyi couldn't imagine it.
So he decided that since Yanyan was no longer here, he would never speak out about that night six years ago. The more he knew, the more painful it would be. Sometimes it would be happier to make mistakes.
Si Junyi returned to the room and Shen Ran was no longer there. He thought about it and called her.
"Shen Ran, I'm sorry."
"It doesn't matter. I know this happened because I was too impulsive and lacked thinking. It's not your fault." Shen Ran's nasal voice was heavy, and he must have been crying.
Si Junyi felt like a sinner, but if he continued to deceive her, it would be even more unfair to her, so he still said cruelly: "Shen Ran, let's separate and calm down for a while."
"Yeah, okay." Shen Ran agreed happily.
Si Junyi felt very surprised, "Shen Ran, you..."
Shen Ran was silent for a while and said: "Jun Yi, you have waited wholeheartedly for me for thirteen years. I am very grateful to you. If you need time, I will give you time. I can also wait for you for thirteen years."
Without waiting for Si Junyi to reply, Shen Ran immediately hung up the phone, turned off the phone, buried his head in the quilt and cried loudly.
She felt desperate, Si Junyi no longer loved her, she felt it, but she couldn't let go now...
God loves to joke like this. When he fell in love with her, she was unaware of it. When she fell in love with him like crazy, it was his turn to be unaware again.
Maybe all this is retribution, the reincarnation of cause and effect.
No matter what, she will never give up on Si Junyi, because she is Shen Ran, a Shen Ran who never admits defeat and never loses.
When Si Junyi woke up the next morning, he walked to the living room downstairs. Zhou Qinxue had just walked in.
"Auntie, are you back? Did Secretary Qu go to the company or the hospital?"
"Well, I'll come back to get something. Momo went to the company." Zhou Qinxue felt very strange, "When did you start calling Momo 'Secretary Qu'? Are you so polite?"
"She is my secretary to begin with. I think it is better to keep the distinction between public and private affairs. There is nothing strange about this." Si Jun said to him in a considerate manner, "I will go to the hospital to see Yuhan and then go to work."
Zhou Qinxue felt that Si Junyi's words were very uncomfortable, so she lectured him: "Momo has been helping us take care of Yuhan these days, and what she has done has long exceeded the scope of a nanny. Her concern for Yuhan The love and love are real, not because you paid her money, how can you wipe out someone's feelings like this!"