She said at the time that it was just like walking to see the scenery. When you walk to the left, you see a different kind of scenery. It is not a pity to give up the left and go to the right, because the right side also has the right scenery!
When he remembered it, he felt panicked.
What she meant was that he had already made a choice back then, to choose a high and far road. He climbed to the top of the mountain, but in the process of climbing, he also missed the scenery on her road.
She looked at him deeply, showing an expression of approval that said, "You are a teachable boy."
But her approval did not make him happy at all. He only felt embarrassed and ashamed.
"Milan, I'm sorry..." He subconsciously wanted to apologize. Although he knew it would not help, he was really ashamed and guilty all the time. He felt sorry for her and felt like a jerk.
She shook her head lightly, "Don't say that, you haven't sorry for me. Really, Bao Anrui, I have never blamed you, because many things that happened back then were accidents or mistakes, and there is no reason for me to let you bear all the responsibilities."
.If we have to pursue the case, then I can’t absolve myself of the blame. So we don’t have to say who is sorry, it’s all over.”
Passed?
Maybe she thought it was over, but he didn't think so.
The greatest constructiveness of being sad is to understand that the heart is still in the same place.
He felt a tightening in his left chest, and no words could express the sourness.
She took out her mobile phone, connected to the Internet, entered his name and searched lightly, and many reports about him popped up. Then she clicked on one at random, and they were all filled with words of praise and admiration.
"Bo Anrui, congratulations, you have finally realized your dream, and you have realized it ahead of schedule. In less than ten years, you have completed the dream that you originally planned to complete in fifteen years. You are really amazing!
"
Faced with her praise, he could only smile bitterly.
He's not great, he just doesn't dare to stop because as soon as he stops, he will think of her.
In the past nine years, he had either been too busy or thought about her desperately.
Being a translator is a high-pressure profession. All his colleagues are eager to take a vacation, but he is the only one who is unwilling to take a break.
Every Spring Festival is a time when he has to take a vacation. Everyone celebrates the New Year happily, but he is the only one who is forcing a smile.
Every New Year, he only spends a few days with his family at home, and then goes to Japan alone to look for her.
Every year I leave with hope, but always come back disappointed.
Year after year, that kind of disappointment almost crushed him.
But he told himself that he couldn't just collapse because he hadn't found her yet.
It was with that kind of persistence that he survived until today.
Therefore, his success was all driven by longing.
"Not only have you succeeded yourself, but you have also become the idol of many people. I am proud of you."
He smiled bitterly again, just proud, but she didn't want to share the joy of success with him.
Love meets her again around the corner, but he is no longer hers.
Therefore, his so-called successes are actually meaningless.
"Bo Anrui, you must not underestimate yourself. Your achievements are beyond the reach of many people."
He was slightly startled that she had guessed his thoughts so accurately.
However, he had no idea what she was thinking.
"Milan, why don't you hate me? Even if you just complain." There was a hint of pleading in his tone. He wished she could blame him!
She smiled faintly, "Because I know you, and I thought that maybe a few years later, you would suddenly appear in front of me like you are now, wanting to apologize to me, and even want to compensate me, but I don't want your compensation, so I don't
I feel sorry for myself, but I choose to be strong."
Be a strong woman, face it calmly, bravely experience the ups and downs, all kinds of tastes, and forget the people and things that have disappeared.
Know how to give up what you can't have; learn to hide what you can't touch.
Instead of dwelling on the past, it is better to bathe in the sunshine, throw away sadness and loneliness, get rid of helplessness and indifference, no longer be afraid of the unknown, and no longer need to be blind and confused.
Her answer was so direct, as direct as a knife piercing his heart.
It turned out that she knew him so well.
But he never really understood her.
"Bo Anrui, we haven't seen each other for a long time in the past nine years, so you can't let go, but now you have seen me and know my current situation. I am living a good life. You can rest assured in the future and stop blaming yourself and feeling guilty.
Don’t worry about me anymore, okay?”
His heart trembled heavily. Once upon a time, the lively, cheerful, laughing and playful girl in his memory had become so stable and mature, but he was still lingering in the same place, like a stubborn child?
"Bo Anrui, please let it go. I hope you will live a happier life in the future."
***
Three days later, Bo Anrui is still thinking about the last words Ji Milan said to him that day. She hopes he will live a happier life in the future.
Is she saying this because she still loves him? Of course he would not be narcissistic to this extent.
But he didn't want to admit that she really didn't care about him.
She wanted him to be happy. Isn't this also a kind of concern? He thought happily.
His mood was ups and downs, sometimes frustrated, sometimes happy, but he could never find an accurate direction.
His cell phone rang suddenly. It was a call from the airline. Due to the weather, the flight was delayed. He was notified and asked if he wanted to change his flight.
He almost forgot about it. He originally booked a flight to Japan, but now there is no need to go.
"Please cancel it for me, thank you."
After hanging up the phone, he looked at the calendar in a daze. The trip was cancelled, so what should he do during the next vacation? Also, what should he do in the future?
He quickly figured out the answer, turned on the computer, and pulled up the resume. This was originally going to be handed over to Gao Fan. Years ago, the director personally called him, hoping that he could return to serve in the country.
His mother is now the deputy director. In order to avoid suspicion, he has been delaying his entry into the Gaofan Bureau. It was not until this year that he really started to consider it, because his mother will leave the Gaofan Bureau after the year and be promoted to work at the French Embassy.
.
Originally, this was the best time for him to enter the high-turn round, but now it seems that it is no longer necessary.
He doesn't want to go, and he won't go.
Because he knows how many checks are required to get in there, including identity, background, relationship, marriage, etc., all must be checked one by one.
He dragged the resume into the recycle bin and emptied it.
His heart also became empty.
He will not make the same mistake a second time.
Turning around, he picked up the phone again, "Wouyou, is Zhenzhen still there with you? Does she have to get an injection tomorrow? I'll go with you..."