Thalia's eyes followed Schiller's face closely, and she made the request without any hesitation. This was indeed her most urgent problem to be solved at the moment.
Someone stuns her with drugs, which proves that the anti-drug training she has done is not effective against such drugs. It proves that this is a completely unfamiliar and powerful drug, and if the properties of the drug cannot be fully understood,
, Thalia couldn't tell when the effects of the medicine would wear off.
Walking around Gotham with drug-induced hallucinations is tantamount to courting death, and Talia must find a way to figure out if and what kind of hallucinations she will have.
Schiller was not a good person to turn to for help, but Talia had no other choice. Instead, she thought she could use this to test whether Schiller was with Bruce.
Thalia was 80% sure that she was hallucinating, and if this was a trap set up by the teacher-student pair, Schiller would definitely hide it for Bruce, so that they could join forces to paralyze Thalia, and then use drugs to continue
to corrupt and manipulate her.
This will be the real showdown, Thalia thought, she can't let down her guard, she can only win.
"With all due respect, miss, some of your panic states may be related to overdose, but if you want to find out the source of similar symptoms, I'm afraid you can only go to the hospital for a blood test."
Schiller didn't know when he walked back behind the reading table. He sat on the chair and put his hands on the table. He looked at Thalia and said: "The psychiatrist can only analyze your mental state. I can't pass your description."
to obtain any accurate laboratory results.”
"What I need is analysis." Thalia turned to look at Schiller and said: "You will help me, right?"
"Then let's talk about the hallucination you saw first."
Thalia opened her mouth. She thought this was ridiculous, because she was not sure that the 20% of the hallucination she saw came from the man in front of her.
She regarded him as a monster in human skin, but she could not firmly believe that this was a persecutory delusion caused by the panic effect of the drug. Was he? Wasn't he?
Thalia actually didn't believe Schiller's analysis. She made the request just to pry. The only thing she believed in was her own judgment. To judge whether she saw an hallucination in Schiller, she had to understand what kind of person Schiller was.
people.
Is there really a gorgeous and dangerous feathered serpent hidden under this perfect human skin?
Thalia's aggressive and probing gaze could usually reveal the disguises of most people, but when it fell on Schiller, it didn't even leave a trace on that perfect shell.
And now she decided to peel off a corner of his skin - it would be quite dangerous, but Thalia was always fascinated by danger.
"I saw you." Thalia's eyes followed Schiller closely. She leaned forward, folded her forearms and propped them on her knees, making a searching gesture, and said: "I saw you become
Quetzalcoatl with bright feathers, you spread your wings and have sharp fangs in your mouth, but I was so frightened by your gaze that I became stiff and unable to move."
Schiller seemed to show some interest in this topic. He fiddled with the pen in his hand and said: "People always feel that the hallucinations they see have no reason and are chaotic whims woven out of the brain when it is confused. But
In psychology, hallucinations often reflect people's subconscious needs."
"What needs do you see in my hallucinations?"
"You said you saw the shadow of a mythical creature in me. Can you describe his appearance in more detail? What was the first impression he gave you?"
"Very huge, like a sun."
Schiller thought for a while and then said: "When people see religious images in hallucinations, they usually do not really have a deep understanding of religious culture, but they bring certain religious rules into themselves, which is a floating wave of consciousness.
To anchor their own existence, they need to bring in a religious role. What role do you play when facing Quetzalcoatl?"
"Sacrifice."
"Interesting." After Schiller commented, he paused and said, "Have you ever had this kind of hallucination before?"
"I have killed many gods in my dreams."
"Quite brave."
"Isn't it crazy?"
Schiller shook his head and said: "This proves that you are not a person who needs to rely on external objects to prove your existence. You think you are a victim of gods. Why?"
"Shouldn't you be the one to tell me?"
"But I am neither a prophet nor a priest. I cannot stand in front of the altar and convict you."
"Yes, because you are the evil god standing behind the altar waiting for sacrifices."
"That was just your hallucination, Miss Thalia, and we are about to talk about why you had such hallucinations. When have you seen similar images before?"
Thalia was silent. Apparently she thought of a past event, but was not sure whether to tell Schiller. After a while, she spoke: "When I was thirteen years old, I was sent to Central America on a mission.
The image of the snake god was frequently used in the decoration of ancient cities."
"I was too young at that time and the mission did not go well. Perhaps my father found me a strong enough opponent in order to train me. I escaped with serious injuries. When I was lying on the cold tomb floor, I heard the Mayan
of whispers.”
"Then you associate Quetzalcoatl with death." Schiller stood up from the chair again. He walked to the table, put the pen flat on the table, looked at Thalia and said: "Answer me,
Thalia, what are the Mayans saying?"
Thalia was in a trance for a moment, and the memories that had been sealed away for a long time came back to her. Her lips opened and closed, but no sound came out.
"Don't you understand?" Schiller asked. "And what do you think they are saying to you?"
"They made me lie down on the altar."
"So what do you think?"
"I feel incredible."
"It's not fear, it's not panic, it's shock. Why?"
"Before the mission started, I heard the myth of Quetzalcoatl from a local tour guide. He... is not like an evil god. He does not accept any living sacrifices."
"So you're surprised by this, that Quetzalcoatl is different from the myth?"
Thalia bit her lip and said in a daze, "I'm surprised that I was chosen."
Then Thalia was silent for a long time. When she came back to her senses, Schiller was standing on the side of the single sofa, with his hands on the back of the chair and turned to look at the window.
Seeing that Thalia had come to her senses, Schiller turned around and said: "You are not surprised that Quetzalcoatl chose you, you are surprised that only Quetzalcoatl chose you, and you realize that you were abandoned by your father."
"I have never been as close to death as that day." Thalia's tone became calmer and she said: "And I realized that this was not a trial. He would not come to save me when I failed the exam. He would die.
He doesn't need a weak daughter after he dies."
"Was that the first time you realized it?"
"Maybe." Thalia tilted her head slightly and said: "There will always be a moment when people realize that their childhood is over, and other people either don't want to or are unable to take responsibility for your stupid choices, and then you
You must become stronger and save your own life. Even if everyone in this world is dead, you will not die."
Schiller stood behind Thalia. Thalia could feel his hands on the top of the chair, but could not see his expression. This actually made Thalia feel relaxed. For anyone, through Schiller
To analyze his psychology, Le's demeanor is like a foolish old man moving mountains.
"In many studies of mental illnesses attributed to emotions, we focus on patients' childhood trauma. Any abuse that occurs when a person's personality is not fully developed will leave them with permanent mental wounds."
Thalia smiled helplessly and seemed to sneer at this argument, but Schiller changed the topic and said: "But there is an exception for people who have no childhood."
Schiller walked slowly to the piano bench by the window and sat down. His whole body was completely in Thalia's field of vision. His expression could not be seen clearly against the light. There were no bright feathers on his back and no words in his mouth.
The sharp fangs sound like the keys of a piano that produce a deep alto when speaking.
"All human beings' sense of security when they are young comes from their parents, and they also receive education from their parents. The essence of education is practice. When children make mistakes, parents teach them and then punish them. This is to establish rules and concepts for children."
"But children don't really pay for their mistakes. The preaching and punishment they receive are all virtualized by their parents within the acceptable range. Parents are like a protective shield, filtering out all the things that the children should not have to pay.
At the cost, replace them with a gentle education, and childhood is spent in this cycle."
"And like you said, as they grow older, there is always a mistake that makes children realize that their parents are no longer able or willing to pay the real price for them, and they must really take responsibility for the first time.
Social responsibility and protective shield disappear, and children move from family to society."
"But people like you and me have to pay the price ourselves from the first time we make a mistake. We skip the entire family education process and are responsible for our own life safety, living conditions, and mental stability from the moment we are conscious.
"
"This is not abuse in childhood, because the abuse is only within the scope of the protective shield. The scenes practiced by parents or others are too cruel. One of the characteristics of child abuse is that parents control their children by controlling their survival resources.
and child abuse.”
"But this is not the case for people who have no childhood. No one provides them with survival resources. They rely on themselves to maintain everything. They are responsible for themselves from the moment they have the ability to move."
Schiller sighed softly and said: "But you are different from me. I am an orphan, so it is natural. Why would you be like this?"
Thalia was distracted again. What Schiller said reminded her of the training she received in her childhood. She fought with various people or creatures. Only by winning could she get medicine and food. If she failed, she would get nothing.
Thalia was not born knowing everything. She would make mistakes during battles when she was young. And because her opponents are much stronger than her, a small mistake may lead to failure. After failure, she will not gain anything.
Punishment and rebuke, but nothing.
Now, she understood the rationale - what Lei Xiaogu did was not education.
All those actual battles and missions were not drills. They were not meant to simulate the situation when she actually fights alone in the future. They were not meant to let her understand the consequences of failure or taste the sweetness of victory, nor were they meant to repeatedly hone her combat skills.
.
That was just to stop her from being a child and to pay the price for her choices like an adult, so that he wouldn't need to pay.
"What did he say to you?" Thalia slowly raised her eyes to look at Schiller, who was standing across from the coffee table. "What did my father say to you on the phone, right?"