In a game arcade on the edge of Hell's Kitchen, a small yellow figure jumped on the game machine. After skillfully inserting two coins into the coin slot of the game machine, he used his hands and feet to operate the remote control lever and buttons.
Not long after, the console of the game console was suddenly covered with a dark shadow. Pikachu, who was concentrating on controlling the character, didn't even notice a person coming behind him.
He used his short yellow hand to push the joystick hard, and then kept stepping on the buttons with his feet. He turned the arcade machine into a dancing machine, but the character on the screen made a cool combo.
trick.
Just when Pikachu was about to hit the enemy, suddenly, his hands and feet were suspended in the air, and he kept pushing the joystick and pressing buttons in mid-air.
Looking at the character on the screen, Pikachu was directly KOed because no one was controlling it. Pikachu waved his hands and feet crazily, but to no avail. The frustrated yellow mouse bit the hand.
A loud "ouch" was heard from behind, and a man wearing a black and red uniform with a long sword on his back covered his hands, bent over, and kept screaming in pain with his legs twisted.
"Wilson! Are you crazy?!" Pikachu shouted: "Didn't you see that I almost won just now??"
The man named Wilson shook his hand and said: "How many times have I told you to call me Deadpool? Also, although both of our actors are Ryan Reynolds, it doesn't mean that you can just call me Deadpool."
The name of Lord Attendant..."
"Are you okay?" Pikachu folded his arms and said, "If you have nothing to do, get out! Don't disturb me playing games!"
"Do you still remember that you are a detective? I think you are almost becoming a professional gamer." Deadpool pushed Pikachu away and said, "Don't think I didn't see it. You were terrible at it just now. Let me do it."
I will definitely kill them!"
Pikachu snorted and jumped to the side.
Ten minutes later, Deadpool yelled: "Taste your Deadpool daddy's big beep-!!!"
With a "boom", the character on the screen released a big move, directly KOing the opponent. However, because Deadpool pushed the joystick too hard, there was a "click" and the joystick broke.
Tens of seconds later, Pikachu and Deadpool were thrown out by the arcade boss by their collars. One person and one mouse sat on the steps in front of the staircase. Deadpool took the Tucker he just bought and handed it to Pikachu and said:
"Where is Spider-Man? Where has he been recently? Why doesn't he come to play games?"
"Forget it, SHIELD has recently offered him a job, and he has classes in college. Do you think he is an unemployed vagrant like you?" Pikachu took a bite of the taco and snorted.
"I told you, I'm a mercenary!"
"Yeah, no one has ever hired your mercenaries." Pikachu took a sip of coke and said, "Since I've known you, I've never seen you take any jobs? Can you really support yourself?"
Deadpool was stunned for a moment, and then said: "You're right, I'm such a useless person... But you can't completely blame me, right???"
He said angrily: "In the past, many people hired me to assassinate his competitors, and some were even willing to spend a lot of money to assassinate the president. But now, hell, the whole world is cooperating, and orders from big companies are like snowflakes."
, a small company can also have a sip of soup, and there is no need to kill people to grab orders..."
"Don't say it's me. Some of the most famous gold medal killers went home to get married and have children, and some simply blended into astronauts and went on extraterrestrial scientific expeditions..." Deadpool sighed, like
I was bent over by the burden of life.
"Then why don't you sneak into the astronauts? I remember that your skills are pretty good?" Pikachu asked.
"What nonsense are you talking about?" Deadpool took a bite of Taco and said, "Astronauts can't have scars on their bodies. I...do I have anything else besides scars on my body?"
Pikachu nodded, and Deadpool took a big gulp of coke and swallowed it. He choked and coughed twice, and then said: "When is Spider-Man not busy? I want to play with him. The two of us didn't have the game last time."
Clearing customs..."
"Who knows, I think you should find a job first, otherwise, you won't even have the money to buy game currency."
Deadpool snorted coldly and said: "You underestimate me too... I don't have any money to buy game currency now!"
After saying that, he stood up and dug into his trouser pockets with his hands. There was nothing in it. He took out his wallet and shook it downwards. Two of his mugshots fell out. Other than that, there was nothing.
penny.
"The last money I have is all used to buy food. If there are no more orders, I may really have to go to work." Deadpool shrugged.
After parting ways with Pikachu, Deadpool returned to the house he rented in Hell's Kitchen. At night, because he had no money to buy ready-made snacks, he planned to cook himself a meal.
When he opened the refrigerator, there were still some leftovers in it. He couldn't cook at all, but he could still light a fire and start a pot.
After heating up the pot, he poured all the vegetables in, including the leftover hot dog buns, a portion of noodles bought at a Chinese restaurant, uneaten spicy rice cakes, and even half a raw crab.
Pour all these things into the pot at once. Since there is no spatula, you can only stir them with your hands. When white smoke comes out, pour them all into the plate.
Deadpool shrugged his nose and whispered: "It doesn't look like it tastes very good, but I don't have a sense of smell either, so whatever!"
As he said that, he brought the plate to the table and started eating. But he forgot one thing. Even though he was a reformed person and had no sense of taste, he would still get diarrhea.
His intestines and stomach were not made of iron, and even if they were, they would not be able to withstand the torment of leftovers from a few days ago and his poor cooking skills.
Soon, Deadpool started running to the toilet. His modified gene brought him a big trouble, that is, he produced an alarming amount of poop.
It didn't take long for the toilet to become clogged, but Deadpool had a stomachache, and he had just moved in and couldn't find an outside toilet, so he had to find a way to clear his own toilet.
Deadpool, who has been traveling around the world as a mercenary for many years, thought that repairing a small appliance would be no problem. Then, dozens of seconds later, the toilet exploded.
The poor kitchen environment in the area does not mean that the residents here can tolerate their neighbors blowing shit. Soon, they called the landlord of the house. After the landlord plundered all the valuable things from Deadpool, he threw him away.
go out.
Deadpool, who smelled like shit, was sitting alone on the roof of the building. But at this time, a figure came to his side. Spider-Man walked towards Deadpool and asked: "What's wrong with you? Why are you here alone?"
"Hey! Spider-Man! I was kicked out by my landlord because I didn't fix the toilet..." Deadpool said a little aggrievedly: "But you can't blame me, it's obviously his furniture that is in disrepair!"
"Hmm..." Spider-Man moved up and down, hit him, and then sniffed. Deadpool actually always had a smell on his body, but today the smell was more obvious, and Spider-Man took two steps back due to the smell.
, but he still said with great concern: "So you have no place to stay? Otherwise, I will lend you some money first, and you can stay in a hotel."
"Oh my god! How embarrassing is this!" Deadpool rubbed his hands together, and Spider-Man shook his head and said: "It doesn't matter, I have money now, and it might rain tonight, you'd better hurry up and find him
Let’s have a place to live.”
Deadpool took the money from Spider-Man and was so moved that he almost cried. He said: "No one has ever been so kind to me, Spider-Man..."
"It's okay, this is just a concern for my friend. I've been busy recently. When I'm free, the two of us will play games together." Peter waved to him. Deadpool noticed that he looked a little tired, but he was not waiting to die.
When the waiter said something, Peter left with a clue.
Deadpool held the wad of money, sniffed, and jumped off the roof, intending to find a new place to live, but at this moment, his cell phone rang.
"Hello? Who?... Who do you say you are? But I don't know you, right? Do I? Have I ever left Spider-Man's phone number?"
"Okay, can I call you... uh... Dr. Rodriguez? That's a mouthful... What did you say? You're a psychiatrist for SHIELD? You must be making a lot of money.
…”
"Yes, I am a mercenary, what?! You said you want to hire me?!" Deadpool immediately jumped up from the ground and asked excitedly: "What are you going to hire me to do? Kill people? Which president to kill?
?What’s the price? I must say, even if the price has been reduced recently, you can’t fool me!”
"If you don't kill people? Then why are you looking for me?"
Deadpool stood silent for a long time, seemingly listening to the person on the other end of the phone explaining the situation. After a while, he said:
"You are saying that there is an unscrupulous game company that rolled back the entire server to a few months ago because of a program error. You have a good friend who played the game for several months and found that it was rolled back.
After that, I suffered from severe anxiety and may even have to be hospitalized..."
"God, is the operator of this game a fool? You should be able to blow his head off and make his brains scatter on the keyboard, and you can't even dig them out..."
"Yes, I understand. I also like to play games. My friend is also the kind of nerd who is addicted to games. Wait...could this friend of yours be..."
Deadpool's brain circuit caught up in an instant.
The psychiatrist who called him, Schiller Rodriguez, was a psychiatrist at SHIELD, and Spider-Man happened to be working at SHIELD recently. When he met him just now, Deadpool discovered that Spider-Man seemed
A little tired, very different from his usual energetic appearance.
Could this person the psychiatrist was talking about be Spider-Man?
Deadpool glanced at the wad of money in his hand. He knew that Spider-Man's visit to him could not be a chance encounter. It could only be that the yellow-haired mouse found Spider-Man and told Spider-Man that he was not in good condition recently.
, that’s why Spider-Man came over, and looking at Spider-Man’s tired look, he probably took some time out of his busy schedule to come over and help him.
Thinking of this, Deadpool asked in a deep voice: "Do you want me to kill him?"
"Just to cause him some trouble? Isn't this a bit too easy on him?... Indeed, you are right. If you do it too cruelly, it may cause trouble to the victim... Okay, I understand...
The address is... hmm? Why is this address a bit weird? Do you want me to find it myself?...Okay, I'm a professional."
"Price? No, I don't charge, I will leave him a memory that will last a lifetime!"
After hanging up the phone, Deadpool looked up, adjusted his collar, and hung up his pistol and sword.
He walked out along the dark alley, taking heroic and determined steps under the dim light of the street lamp.