I felt very weak, my limbs felt soft, and my whole body became heavy. It turned out that tears had unknowingly crossed my face and slowly entered the corners of my mouth. The tears were so cold and so bitter...
…
"Xuanxuan, what's wrong with you?" After seeing my tears, Huiqing hurriedly held my hand and asked with concern.
"Are you doing this for him?" Shangguan Yun's voice was still so cold and without warmth.
I hurriedly raised my hand to wipe away the tears on my cheeks. I struggled to squeeze out a smile from the corners of my eyes and said, "No, it's okay."
I don’t understand why I cry. Is it for him? For Haohua? For what he said? All my thoughts are so confusing that I can’t even find the beginning and the end. I throw them away if I can’t untie them.
Don't fall off.
Shangguan Yun took me directly to the hotel instead of going to Huiqing's place. Maybe Huiqing also thought that I had to explain something clearly to Guanyun, so he didn't stop me.
In this way, we followed Guanyun numbly all the way to the hotel. We didn't say a word until we reached the room.
After entering the room, Shangguan Yun stood at the window and looked outside, while I sat on the bed, and no one made a sound.
After a long time, I don't know how much time passed, Shangguan Yun turned around and slowly walked to sit next to me. His face was very ugly, with a gloomy face and a frown.
Several times he twitched his lips to say something to me but nothing came out.
Suddenly he turned around and hugged me into his arms, hugging me so tightly that I felt a little breathless.
"Don't leave me, okay? Don't leave me..." Shangguan Yun's helpless voice made me a little sad. No matter what, I have never seen him so helpless. His voice sounded so lonely and seemed a bit sad.
miserable……
"I didn't say I wanted to leave you, you don't have to worry." I said to Shangguan Yun after taking a breath.
Indeed, although my heart is very confused now because of his appearance, I have never thought about leaving him, let alone getting back together with Haohua.
"Really? Really? You won't leave me, right?" After hearing this, Shangguan Yun held my shoulders tightly and asked excitedly.
He grabbed my shoulder so hard that it hurt a little. I said in pain: "It hurts me if you scratch me. I won't leave you. Why should I leave you?" I said with a slight frown.
After Shangguan Yun listened to my words, he immediately let me go, his frowning eyebrows relaxed, and a smile filled the corners of his mouth.
"The man in the supermarket just now is my former boyfriend Hao Hua. Haha, I really didn't expect that we would meet under such circumstances after being separated for so long." I said a little self-consciously, with a light tone.
, seemed to be talking to himself again.
"Don't miss him anymore. Although I know you loved each other very much before, that has passed. Don't worry, no one will dare to bully you with me here. I will protect you." Shangguan Yun looked at me with his dark eyes and said.
.
In his eyes, I saw his sincerity and hope, and my heart was no longer so confused.
"Well. I was in a bad mood just now, because there has been no news for so long, and suddenly he stood in front of me again, so I couldn't control my emotions." I lowered my head like a child who had made a mistake.
, said while playing with his fingers.
"It's okay, it's okay." Shangguan Yun looked at me and said to me pityingly, comforting me.
I leaned on his chest and listened to his rhythmic heartbeat, and my heart became much quieter.
"Wife..." Shangguan Yun suddenly called me softly.
I didn't answer him, I just raised my head and looked at him to ask him what he wanted.
He smiled and said, "Do you still like him in your heart?" I believe this question must have been entangled in his heart for a long time before he asked it.
I didn't expect that a person like him would ask such a question, and that he would be jealous...
But this sentence really touched the pit of my heart. In fact, I didn’t know how I felt about him.
"I, I don't know." I answered honestly. I felt that two people were sincere when they were together. Since it was an emotional matter in my heart, I didn't want to deceive him.
Although I answered him so honestly, after hearing my words, his face became gloomy again. Some of the smiles that I finally saw on his face were immediately wiped out by this gloominess. His face was very scary, and there was no expression at all.
None, very cold...
"Are you angry? But I don't want to deceive you. I will tell you the truest feeling in my heart. I think two people should be honest with each other when they are together." Although his face was so scary, I still said
out my true thoughts.
"I'm very happy that you can tell me your true feelings so frankly, but I feel very uncomfortable in my heart. Why don't you coax me and lie to me, saying that the person you love now is me?" Shangguan
Yun's words were very cold.
After listening to his words, I was at a loss. Maybe I am a person who is not good at lying.
I kept my head down, not daring to look at his face, look directly into his eyes, or look at his expression.
"Look up at me, look up at me, okay?" Shangguan Yun held my shoulders and said to me.
Then I slowly raised my head and looked at him, looking at his hurt eyes and the hurt expression on his face. Did my words hurt him?
"Look into my eyes. Do you like me or not? Do you love me?" When Shangguan Yun said this, his eyes were always directed at me. It was a bit unnatural to be looked at by him like this.
"I...probably like it, otherwise..." When I was about to continue talking, Shangguan Yun quickly interrupted me and said: "You don't want to give me any words that should be possible, can you be sure?
Tell me, do you love me or not?"
"I...I...love." I gritted my teeth and said the word love.
Shangguan Yun didn't speak, and kept looking at me with cold, stern eyes. I lowered my head again.
And when he saw me lowering my head, he lifted my chin and kissed my lips.
Just like that, we hugged each other affectionately, and he pushed me down on the bed, turned over and gently pressed on my body, and his hands roamed around my body...
Seeing him like this, I immediately pushed him away, pushed him off my body and lay on the bed. I sat up and straightened my clothes without saying anything. Shangguan Yun also sat up immediately and said, "Are you willing to give yourself to me?"
me?"
I didn't look at him or speak. I knew very well that I wasn't ready to hand over myself to him, and I had no intention of handing myself over to him, at least not yet.
"Since you love me, why do you still worry about me so much? Maybe you don't love me at all and you are still thinking about him?" Shangguan Yun said with a hurt tone.
"In your heart, is love measured by sex?" My tone was very light, and my heart felt a little cold. Maybe in his heart he just wanted me, and letting me go to bed with him was the best option.
It's important.
"I...whenever there is love, there is sex."
"But don't you think it's time for us?" Why do we always put love and sex together? I just don't understand.
"What does it mean it's not the right time? You love me and I love you too, so why can't we go to bed? Nowadays, who in junior high school would not go to bed when they fall in love?" Shangguan Yun's words were very straightforward.
If you want a pure love, why does it have to involve sex...
"If you love me, you should respect me? Instead of just making these unreasonable and excessive demands." I got a little angry.
Shangguan Yun first held it tightly and then punched the bed. The bed was very elastic and my whole body was lightly bounced.
"Is it excessive and unreasonable to ask a girlfriend like this? Ask Huiqing if she has slept with her boyfriend. You can also ask Liu Xi if he has slept with his girlfriend.
, Is my request excessive or unreasonable?" Shangguan Yun was obviously very angry, and he yelled at me angrily.
I just don't understand why I should compare myself to them and why I should be the same as them.
"I really doubt now that you are with me not to get me but to love me." I also shouted loudly at him.
"You still can't believe me." Shangguan Yun's face turned green with anger, and he finally said this through gritted teeth while holding back his energy.
I didn't speak, I just felt sour in my heart. Tears were brewing in my eyes and rolling in my eyes. I couldn't cry. I definitely couldn't cry. I couldn't show my cowardly side in front of him, let alone fall in front of him.
tears...
Shangguan Yun just stared at me fiercely, for one second, two seconds, three seconds... It was as if everything had stopped, even our breathing became so prominent and obvious...
In the end, Shangguan Yun left without any explanation, leaving me alone. When he walked out of the door, my tears finally couldn't help falling, and they lightly crossed my face.
, dripping on the back of my hand, the teardrops were so hot on my hand, it deeply burned my heart.
Sitting weakly under the floor, leaning against the bed, letting tears fall silently, it was very cold, the floor was obviously covered with carpets, but I don’t know why it was still so cold, with waves of coldness deep inside
The coldness reached my bones. Every bone was cold without any warmth. Even my blood felt like it was about to freeze into ice...
He hugged You's knees tightly and weakly, resting his chin on his own knees, sobbing silently, and the tears kept flowing, and it seemed that there were endless tears.
The night was so quiet that I didn’t know how long I had been crying, and I didn’t know how late it was. I only knew that he hadn’t come back yet, and I hadn’t stopped crying either. Everything was so quiet and a little scary.
, I stayed here alone, I was very scared, I didn't dare to move, for fear that any movement would cause something. There was only one word in it, "fear", a fear of suffocation.
The night seemed so silent, so pale without moonlight, and my heart also seemed so lonely and without any warmth.
With my back to the door, I was looking forward to Shangguan Yun coming back, hugging me tightly and giving me some warmth, but I didn't dare to look back at the door, because I was afraid, and I didn't know what I was afraid of. It was just fear, except fear.
Still afraid...
I kept sobbing silently like this, my hands and feet were numb, cold numb, insensitive, my whole body was not only cold but cold, I had lost consciousness, and I felt nothing at all.
I don’t know how much time has passed, time is passing slowly, I don’t know how late it is, let alone what time it is...
I cried so much that my stomach cramped and hurt, it hurt so much...
At some point, I felt someone opening the door and coming in, but I didn't dare to look back. My nerves were tense all the time, tight, tight...
But I was very scared. I was scared from the bottom of my heart. Although I knew in my heart that Shangguan Yun was probably coming back, I still didn’t dare to look up. I buried my head deeply in my knees, very deep...
Slowly I felt a warm breath coming over me.
"Why are you sitting on the floor? Why are you so cold?" After hearing Shangguan Yun's distressed voice, I was sure that it was indeed him who came back.
Shangguan Yun gently picked me up and put me on the bed. He covered me with a quilt thoughtfully and said, "What's wrong? My eyes are so red and swollen from crying. It's all my fault. It's my fault."
Shangguan Yun hugged me in his arms with a look of remorse and said, leaning into his generous arms, a trace of warmth spread throughout my body, but I still felt cold, so cold...
"I, I'm cold..." I said to him with a cry.
Shangguan Yun hugged me tightly and said softly: "Is it still cold? You idiot, why are you sitting on the floor?"
I didn't speak. I was so cold that I was trembling...
Tears still couldn't stop flowing down. Shangguan Yun kissed my eyes gently and said: "Don't cry anymore, don't cry anymore. It's all my fault. I shouldn't lose my temper. Please stop crying, okay?"
My eyes are swollen, and your tears are like knives, drilling into my heart drop by drop. It hurts, you know?"
The more he comforted me, the more tears I shed and the more I couldn't stop them.
"Fool..." Shangguan Yun said helplessly. I don't know what he meant by this, but I am indeed very stupid.
"I'm scared to be alone, so scared..."
"Then why don't you call me. As long as you call me, I will come back right away to be with you. It was my fault just now. I shouldn't have lost my temper. Please don't be sad anymore, okay?
It's my fault." Shangguan Yun kept blaming himself.