Some time ago, I occasionally contacted my father, but every time we talked about project matters.

His voice was so familiar that it made me burst into tears, "Dad, Chen Yuan is no longer here... Wuwu!"

The father must have been shocked, because he said after a while, "Feng Xiao, tell me again, what happened to Chen Yuan?"

I couldn't control myself and cried "Wow!" "She, she is gone. She has been cremated. Woohoo!"

"When did it happen?" My father's voice suddenly became hoarse.

"Just the day before yesterday, she, she left. She woke up in the middle of the night and said a few words to me. Then she said she was so sleepy, but she fell asleep and never woke up again. Dad, I...

...." I said, because I got someone to talk to, so my tears started to flow out more freely.

"Hey!" Father sighed, "Smile, are you okay?"

"Hmm." I said.

"Actually, this is also a relief for her. What do you think?" My father began to comfort me.

"Yeah." I said. In fact, I also know that Chen Yuan's departure is a kind of relief. Everyone has the same view on this. But I can never fully accept it emotionally, because my heart is stronger than other people's.

There is one more thing in everything, and that is guilt.

"Smile, your mother wants to talk to you." My father was silent for a while and then said to me. I could feel that he was sighing on the other end of the phone just now.

"Son, are you okay?" The mother's voice came immediately over the phone. She was not as good at controlling her emotions as her father, so she was crying.

During the phone call with my father just now, my emotions had been extremely vented, but in the face of my mother's crying, I could only calm myself down, "Mom, it's okay."

"How is my grandson doing?" My mother asked. Unlike my father, she was primarily concerned about Chen Yuan and I's children. Maybe my father felt the same way in his heart, but he wouldn't show it like that.

"Very good. Now he is at his grandpa's and grandma's house." I said.

"Why don't I retire early, and I'll bring my grandson back, and we'll help you take care of the child." The mother said, and she stopped crying when she talked about the child.

"Let's talk about it after I discuss it with my father-in-law and the others." I thought for a while and then said.

"No, he is our grandson, and I want to pick him up. Now that the child's mother is gone, I am worried," the mother said.

At this time, his father answered the phone, "Feng Xiao, don't listen to your mother about this matter. You go and discuss it with your father-in-law and the others first. We are a family. Although Chen Yuan is gone, we cannot let them do it because of this."

I feel that you are becoming more and more separated. The fastest update. Please find a person who lives in this world with a conscience and cannot go too far in doing things. Do you understand? You must discuss it with them. Of course, your mother and I also very much hope for children.

You can come to us. Do you understand what I mean?"

Of course I understand what my father meant. His words are actually based on one principle: Do not take the child away unless Lin Yi and Shi Yanni fully agree. In my heart, I am very grateful to my father for his generosity, because he thought of one thing: Lin Yi and Shi Yanni just

After losing their daughter, they would definitely have some thoughts if they took away the child again under such circumstances. It would be too inhumane and cruel.

Then my father talked to me for a while, mainly to comfort me and remind me to pay attention to my health. But now my mood is much better, and my heart is warm and I no longer feel as helpless as before.[

I went to Lin Yi's house that day, mainly because I wanted to see Shi Yanni and my children.

When I arrived at Lin Yi's house, I saw Shi Yanni feeding the child. The child kept shaking his head, but Shi Yanni did not force her, so she went to get some toys for the child to play with.

I found that Shi Yanni's face looked good, and her mental state was not as bad as I thought. After entering, I greeted her directly, and she enthusiastically asked me to sit down.

"Your father-in-law has gone to the company." She said to me immediately.

"I came over to see you and the kids," I said.

"Xiao Nan is gone. This child has given me a lot of fun." Her expression suddenly became gloomy.

"You are usually so busy, I'd better take the child back." I hesitated for a moment before saying to her.

But she was shaking her head, "I'm sorry for Xiaonan, but I can't be sorry for her child anymore. Feng Xiao, just let this child stay in my home, okay?"

What else can I say? So I said, "Whatever you think is good."

"Thank you, Feng Xiao." She smiled at me.

"Let me feed the child." So I said to her, "Don't spoil the child when feeding him. Feed him with big mouthfuls. Only in this way can he develop a good habit of eating."

"How can I bear to force my child?" she said.

So I smiled and said: "Forcing is also a kind of love for him. Do you think so?"

She also laughed and said, "Then you come and demonstrate." Then she gave the child to me. The child was very happy when it was in my arms and immediately started jumping up and down.

"Don't move and obey!" I said to the child seriously.

The child was still the same, so I gave him a gentle spanking, and it was better. The child immediately opened his mouth and started crying, and he was very aggrieved and sad. Shi Yanni was also dissatisfied, "

Feng Xiao, why are you beating the child? Give me the child, seriously!"

I hurriedly said: "You really can't get used to the child."

"Give it to me! Why do you hit the child so often?" she said angrily.

I could only smile bitterly. This is always the case in children's education. The truth is that you cannot dote on her. Then I handed the child over to her, but I still said in my mouth: "The child is too used to it. If you want to educate her in the future, just teach her."

It’s not easy anymore.”

But she started to cry, "You hit the child just after Xiaonan left. You are so cruel."

I didn't expect that she would say this, so I immediately became embarrassed and apologized to her hastily, "I was wrong. Is it okay that I was wrong? Yes, I went to work."

She said: "Go ahead, come and see the children more often when you have time, don't do what you did before...forget it, I don't want to talk about you anymore. It's all Xiao Nan's fate."

I suddenly felt sad and embarrassed, so I hurriedly and awkwardly said goodbye to her.

When I got outside, I suddenly felt bored and very lonely. Although I often went to parties or did other things alone in the past, I always felt that I was not as lonely as I am now. After all,

I always think of someone else at home. Even though she has been unconscious for a long time, she has always been my wife. But now that she is gone, my heart suddenly becomes completely empty.

This is a psychological state that is difficult for others to understand and feel. Only my heart knows how lonely I am now. This is completely different from the loneliness I felt before.

I felt that I had nowhere to go, so I started to yearn for places with many people. So I drove to the city center, parked the car and went outside the crowded downtown shopping mall. But I found that I was still lonely.

And even more lonely

The people in front of me were very busy, there were a few people walking together, there were men and women in love walking close to each other, there were also single people looking around in the crowd...but none of them looked like me.

I was at a loss. Among this ant-like crowd, the result was that it brought out the more intense feeling of loneliness in my heart.

I ran away quickly, and then wandered to shopping malls. I watched other people choose clothes, eavesdropped on the whispers of lovers... and squatted in front of a beggar outside the shopping mall to observe him.

But I was scolded, and I laughed loudly, took out a hundred yuan and handed it to him, and then left quickly, but I heard the beggar say behind me: "This is a lunatic!"

I was stunned immediately because I found that my spirit seemed to be a little abnormal.

But I still don't want to go to the hospital because I don't want to see the sympathetic eyes of my colleagues.

I really wanted to go to that stone house, but I was more afraid of being enveloped by the loneliness there. I also thought about calling Hong Ya, but a feeling of guilt for Chen Yuan suddenly emerged in my heart. So, I drove there

When we arrived at the riverside, we entered a restaurant, ordered wine and food, and drank there alone.

Now I know that only alcohol can make me feel less lonely.

The phone was ringing and I answered it. It was Lin Yu's voice, "I just knew. Kang Demao told me."

"It's okay." I said. Alcohol made me vulnerable and almost shed tears. "It's really okay."

"Are you drinking? I heard your voice become muffled. Where are you now?" she asked.

"I'm drinking...don't ask..." I said and immediately cut off the phone. I remember this was the first time I cut off her phone.

The phone was ringing again, and I didn’t want to answer it, so I continued to drink. But it kept buzzing, and I knew it was Lin Yu calling again. I sighed and had to answer it again. Unexpectedly, what came from the phone was

But it wasn't Lin Yu's voice, but Hong Ya's, "Feng Xiao, why didn't you tell me? Are you okay? I heard Sister Lin said you were drinking?"

"Hong Ya, don't ask me, okay? Just leave me alone, okay?" I almost became hysterical.

She was not angry, "Feng Xiao, don't hang up the phone. Listen to me. Sister Lin is very worried about you, and so am I. Do you understand? If there are women in this world who really care about you, then we are.

Do you understand what I’m saying? Tell me where you are now? I’ll drink with you. Is that okay?”

My tears suddenly flowed uncontrollably, "Hong Ya..."

When she came, I was almost drunk, so much so that I thought her smiling face belonged to Chen Yuan, "Chen Yuan, are you here?"

"I'm Hong Ya." She came over, her smiling face already in front of my eyes.

Only then did I see clearly, and then I laughed, "Yes, you are Hong Ya. Haha! Look at me like this. Hong Ya, you are so beautiful today."

In fact, I feel that I am awake, but I cannot control my words at all, nor can I control some of the complicated thoughts in my heart, so I can only speak according to the thoughts that just pop up in my mind.

She said: "Feng Xiao, you are drunk. Let's go home."

I shook my head, "I won't go home. My house is empty and I'm scared."

She said: "I said go to my house. Do you understand?"

I was still shaking my head, "I won't go. I can't let Chen Yuan go anymore."

She was sighing, "Feng Xiao, be obedient. Sister Lin asked me to tell you that she is particularly worried about you now, but it is not convenient to come here to pick you up in person. Feng Xiao, don't you even listen to your sister?"

?"

I heard myself saying: "Sister..."

These were the last words I heard myself say before I completely lost consciousness.

When I woke up on the second day, I found myself lying on a soft bed with a familiar smell.
To be continued...