The moment her hand reached my arm, I suddenly felt the muscles on my arm suddenly become tense.

I think it is easy to eat with her, but there is no need to talk about such a pomp.

In fact, the taste of mutton is just like that. As Director Leng said that day, northern dishes are northern dishes after all, far less delicate and delicious than our southern dishes.

But I think the copper pot charcoal is very good, steaming, and it tastes warm. Perhaps this is exactly the effect required for mutton sauté.

After a while, I became sweating profusely, my whole body was warm and comfortable, and I became more comfortable. Of course, there is also the function of Erguotou.

Mu Jiao looked at me and smiled: "Uncle Feng, are you actually sweating? Hehehe!"

I said, "Maybe it was too cold and I had a slight cold. I've recovered now, I've sweated all over, and I feel comfortable now."

She smiled and said to me, "Uncle Feng, then you should thank me. If you don't come out to eat this meal today, you might really have a cold."

I raised my glass to her and smiled and said, "Then I will thank you."

She looked at me, and there was a kind of charm that was unique to beautiful women in her eyes, and she found that her eyes at this moment were very similar to those of her mother's eyes that she had seen me. She said: "Uncle Feng, do you know? I hate that I am a woman."

Her words suddenly came, which made me stunned, "Why? You are so beautiful, I wonder how many girls envy you."

She sighed and said, "Women are always weak. Yesterday I was drunk, but in the middle of the night I woke up by dysmenorrhea. The lower abdomen was cramped and it seemed that millions of knots were entangled together, and the pain kept rolling out. I curled up, and other parts of my body seemed to shrink, and the pain became the whole sign of my body. But I could only endure it, so I put my hands on my lower abdomen, as if holding the pain in my place, as if I was caring for it, as if I could take care of it, as if this could relieve the colic. Such pain was once every twenty-five days. In the past, my dysmenorrhea was not so severe, but in the past two years, it was getting worse and worse. I didn't take medicine.

At the right point, if I had class that day, I wouldn't even sit still. I just lay on the bed and could hear the wind outside. The wind at night made me feel very cold outside. My body was like a tumbling river and sea, which made me fall asleep. I knew I should take medicine, but I forgot to bring it out yesterday. I had to curl my body, but the pain in my lower abdomen was like the source of the pain that sent the whole body. I curled my body, as if the shrinking of my body, the more I could relieve this extreme discomfort. I think men don't have the torture of this pain. Last night I thought again, it was great to be a man."

Of course I know the pain of dysmenorrhea in women, because I used to see patients like that almost every day when I was in the hospital, and patients with the most severe dysmenorrhea even think about committing suicide.

I said: "Mu Jiao, this is determined by the physiological function of women. This is the natural reaction of many women during ovulation. As you said, taking medicine can still relieve it. Most women are like this, and they will relieve it after you get married in the future."

But she shook her head and said, "It's okay to have physical problems. Actually, I feel sorry for my parents because they gave birth to a daughter like me. Now that the family has had such a big deal, I can't help them at all. If I were a man, I wouldn't have done this. I will immediately make a lot of money, let my mother live like before, and try every means to get my father out of prison as soon as possible. But I can't do anything. Alas!"

I said to her softly: "Mu Jiao, God has created men and women in this world. When we come to this world, whether it is a man or a woman, this is actually just a coincidence. But our lives are very precious, because it is a very, very accidental thing for us to appear in this world, and our lives are only once. So, I think you should see the positive side of our lives, and never worry about such things. What your parents are...Mu Jiao, let me tell you this way. In fact, this is also a life, because none of us knows ourselves.

What will happen in your future, but I believe in cause and effect. Oh, don’t misunderstand, what I am talking about is not the so-called cause and effect advocated by Buddhism, but what we have done now and then may appear in the future from the perspective of logic and the development trend of things. So, I think any of us should bear all the consequences that may have on the future that we do now. Some things are useless to escape, and the only thing we need to do is to act within the scope of the law. This is the best way to avoid future tragedies. Mu Jiao, do you think what I said is right?"

But she shook her head and said, "I understand this principle, but is it really the case in reality? So many people who embezzle and accept bribes, especially those who sit on the rostrum and become high-ranking officials, who among them has less money? It's just that they have protected them. Even if something happens to someone, it's mostly because of political reasons. Although I am still a student, I know a lot of things."

I didn't know what to say at all, because I understood that she was right. (.om plain text)

When she saw that I didn't say anything, she immediately came to toast my wine, "Uncle Feng, we won't say this anymore. Come on, I'll toast you. Thank you for taking me out for fun today."

I smiled bitterly and said, "Is it good that you took me out to play? And you also acted as a tour guide for me. I'll respect you."

She smiled and said to me, "Let's respect each other." Then she smiled at me, "Uncle Feng, do you think I'm too young, so you don't like me? I know you are single now, what are you afraid of when you are with me?"[

At this moment, our bottle of wine was almost over. When I heard her come to ask me this way, I immediately felt that she seemed to be drunk, "Mu Jiao, don't say that. Didn't you call me Uncle Feng?"

She immediately drank the wine, then pursed her lips and said to me, "You are not my uncle. I feel used to calling you like this. Uncle Feng, I can actually see that you still like me very much because I think you are quite beautiful. You are so restrained in front of me, mainly because of my mother? Also, my affairs are too big, and you dare not agree at once. Is that true?"

I hurriedly said to her, "Mu Jiao, you've drunk too much."

She said, "I haven't drunk too much. What I'm talking about is my heart. Uncle Feng, you are older than me, but I think you are actually pretending to be in your heart like me, but you just don't want to say it out. Also, you are too good at pretending to be yourself."

I immediately laughed, "Your sentence is right. But I think that your own affairs should be kept in your heart, because it is useless to tell others something. As the saying goes, it is better to seek yourself than to seek others. You said, right? Also, it is not a bad thing for a person to learn to disguise himself. This is actually the nature of an animal. Because only by disguising himself can you suffer less harm. Do you think so?"

She sighed and said, "After all, you should be a man."

I said, "This has nothing to do with gender, right? By the way, when you mentioned the issue of making money, in fact, no matter whether it is a man or a woman, it is not easy for anyone to make money. So Mu Jiao, I think the most important thing for you now is to study hard. Only when you are well can your parents feel at ease and feel hopeful. I hope you must understand this."

She shook her head and said, "No, I must help my father come out from there as soon as possible. Uncle Feng, I hope you will consider the proposal I gave you today. What you said about medical parole, sentence reduction, etc. are too slow, and I don't want to wait. Yes, you said this matter is risky, I know, I can do what you said and hire a lawyer to handle this matter. But I need money now, one million. But I can't take out this money, I only have my own body, I think I am worth more than those rural girls, right? If I go to give a rich man or something as a lover in Beijing, I will definitely be willing to give me one million. I am this.

I am completely confident. But I don’t want to find those old men with big belly. Uncle Feng, I think you are a good person, at least not that old, and I like your appearance, and more importantly, you look very clean. Uncle Feng, don’t think I’m very despicable, I’m really **, I really want my father to come out from there earlier. You said you lend me money, but I thought again, one million, when can I pay it back? In the future, even if I work, my monthly salary will only be three or four thousand yuan? It’s less than fifty thousand yuan a year, and it will take twenty years to not eat or drink! Uncle Feng, please help me, okay?"

I immediately regretted: I would have known that I would not have come out with her today. Why was she still thinking that way? Besides, when I told her that I was willing to lend her money, it was not that I would lend her one million? All I was talking about was the lawyer's fee.

How could I agree to her request like that? But I couldn't refuse her immediately. This is a public place, and I was very worried that she would cause trouble if she was too excited. So, I could only remain silent.

She looked very excited. After she finished saying those words, she immediately picked up the bottle and poured her own wine, but she found that the bottle was empty. She looked at me and said, "Uncle Feng, you can think about it again, consider it. I am not in a hurry to urge you. After the wine is finished, how about we want another bottle?"

I said, "Stop drinking."

But she was still looking at me, "But, what should I do if I want to drink?"

I sighed, "Then drink less. Don't get drunk."

I found that the current situation was simply reversed: I was afraid of her. Actually, I thought about it just now, maybe the best way to solve this problem is to tell Jordan immediately. But I dare not.

The waiter brought another bottle of wine.

Mu Jiao poured it on me and herself, and then she raised her glass to me, "Uncle Feng, I'll respect you."

I didn't say anything, and drank it immediately after serving the cup. At this moment, I was thinking in my heart: This is what I mean, as long as I don't agree with her request. But I always feel a little strange in my heart: Why did she do this? Is it just because of filial piety?

I suddenly remembered a theory in psychology for the death instinct.

Freud believed that people have two instincts: life instinct and death instinct. The former refers to all instincts that make life continue and move towards a better direction. The latter refers to all instincts that destroy life and destroy life, divided into two parts: external and internal, such as attack, hatred, war, etc., and internally, self-blame, guilt, suicide, etc. The death instinct is only available to humans. Generally, this kind of death instinct of a person is in the subconscious, but when a person's psychological condition becomes unbalanced, the death instinct will emerge, and it is even very intense.

Freud believed that the instinct of death was to lead people to death, because there was real peace there. Only in the last rest area of ​​death can individuals have the hope of completely relieving tension and struggle.

This is actually a self-destructive impulse. Most of us are suppressed by the life instinct and weaken this self-destructive impulse or change direction. However, when the life instinct loses this power, the death instinct may be manifested by suicide.

Life instinct can force death instinct to be disguised in various forms. For example, when a person has a desire to self-destruct, the person will resist and make himself unable to commit suicide. Or, the person will become an abused person, and then feel his physical and mental pain alone. Of course, the person may also turn all his "destructive energy" to the outside world, thus becoming an aggressive or sadistic person, or even a murderer.

Under the same pressure, most people may indulge in alcohol or drugs, or they may become often prone to accidents. Even a person cannot stick to work. It is said that the habit of biting his nails is the milder one.

The most common manifestation of a person's death instinct is to torture yourself and make yourself forget the inner sense of failure or frustration. Especially when a person encounters huge difficulties and cannot extricate himself, he often tries to solve the difficulties in front of him by destroying himself.

Of course, such a subconscious mind is something that a person does not know, because after such a situation occurs, a person will feel that he should have done this, and he will stubbornly think that this is the only effective method he currently has.

I think this is the case at this moment.

It is said that a person is prone to dying in such situations:

#When you look down at the beautiful scenery on high-rise buildings above 20 floors. #When you watch the tides rise and fall by the sea. #When you hold a sharp knife in your hand. #When you stand on the bridge and look down at the rolling river. #When you stand on the road and watch the endless traffic. #When you hold your breath and sink at the bottom of the swimming pool. #When you are making #When you are facing a table of delicious food. #When you look around on the steep top of the mountain. #When you are galloping on the highway and people are in the car.

#When encountering difficulties overcome by the law...

In fact, we can also find the death instincts they once had in the manifestations of some historical figures as we know. For example, King Goujian of Yue, slept on firewood and tasted gall. People from ancient times have always liked to understand and praise his behavior from an inspirational perspective. In fact, this is not the case. From a psychological perspective, he is an act of torture. He tortures himself in such a way, so as to divert the "destructive energy" deep in his heart, thereby enhancing his desire for revenge in his heart.

There is also Han Xin when the Chu and Han Dynasty compete for power. The story of Han Xin being humiliated by the crotch has always been praised by the world as enduring humiliation and lofty ideals, but I still think that is not the case. From a psychological point of view, what he still embodies is the death instinct deep in his heart, which is one of the ways of self-destruction.

You know, Han Xin was in a down-and-out and even eating was a problem. When the butcher asked him to drill through his crotch, he could escape, but he didn't. Instead, he really drilled through the butcher's crotch. Why? He hoped to torture himself and slander himself in such a way, so as to stimulate his deep desire to become famous and successful. In fact, isn't it the same for people like Feng Jie who appeared a few years later?

From this I can analyze the deep psychological reasons for Mu Jiao's thoughts, and I fully believe that his analysis is correct. But I am deeply worried because I know that once a person has such a self-destructive death instinct, he will most likely have more terrible consequences in the future. The terrible consequence is revenge, which is almost cruel and inhuman revenge.

King Goujian of Yue later launched a war in Wu. Of course, Fuchai failed in the end. He lost because of his pride and his conceit. But what about Goujian who dominated the country later? He was proud and violent. Because of his special treatment, he mercilessly killed Wen Zhong who shared his hardships with him. Fan Li had to leave a sentence "You can share hardships with him, but you can't share happiness with him" and then fled in panic. Later, Goujian became the overlord, and later, the story of him sleeping on firewood and tasting gall with him will be remembered forever. However, no one cares about Goujian's cruelty, and no one analyzes the root of his cruelty, which is the result of his self-destruction under his instinct of death. Everything is wrong.

This is how history is, the winner is the king, and the loser is the enemy. Such things are still repeating in our current reality.

There is also Han Xin. People know that Han Xin is a military genius and think that he died injustice in the end, but few people know that he once had a story of "asking for the road and killing woodcutters"

When Han Xin fled from Chu State to surrender to Liu Bang, he killed five sergeants and soldiers. He thought: If the local government knew that I had killed the official army, he would definitely chase him from this road. So he turned over the mountain pass and walked southwest from the remote Xiaojia Road.

Not long after, he arrived at a place. He saw that there were mountains on both sides, with only a small road in the middle. The streams were gurgling, the waves were sound, and the broken bank was dry. It was very steep. Han Xin was unable to gallop here, so he had to stop the horse and walk slowly step by step, but he didn't know how to go to Chencang Ferry. While he was hesitating, a woodcutter turned around on the hillside. Han Xin went up and asked: Woodcutter, which road can be reached to Chencang? The woodcutter put down the woodcutter and pointed at the mountain road with his finger: This way to bypass the hill is a small pine forest; after passing this forest, there is a rocky beach, there is a stone bridge, and after passing the bridge, it is Emei Ridge... After passing the Han River, it is Nanzheng. The general should not walk at night, for fear of a big insect. The woodcutter

After talking about the mountain path, Han Xin took out a geographical map to check it one by one, and found that it was exactly the same. So he thanked the woodcutter and rode his horse. The woodcutter carried the woodcutter and was about to go down the hillside, but Han Xin thought to himself: The pursuers knew that I had killed the soldiers and would definitely come from this road. When he arrived at this fork in the road, if he met this woodcutter and said that he was on this path, my horse was tired and he would definitely be caught by him. It would be better to kill the woodcutter. If the army came, he would only drive from the stairs on the way, and he would never know that there was such a way. Han Xin took back the horse and called the woodcutter. The woodcutter thought she was going to ask the path again, so he turned around and was about to ask him, but Xin grabbed his hair and killed it with a sword, and then dragged it under the depression of the mountain and buried it with soil...

Also, after Han Xin made great contributions, he actually threatened Liu Bang to be the king of him, so his killing was not entirely unfair.

His crazy behavior is difficult for people in later generations to understand. In fact, it is also the result of the death instinct being fermented.

Therefore, at this moment, I was particularly worried about Mu Jiao and her future. I suddenly became conflicted: If I did not agree to her conditions, she would definitely take revenge on me in the future, because I did not help her when she thought she needed help the most. But what if I agreed? She would also take revenge on me in the future, because it was me who made her lose her first time.

Now I regret it: How could I get involved with her?

At this moment, I felt that the mutton in my mouth had no smell, and even the white wine I drank gave me a light feeling as water. I said, "Mu Jiao, let me think about it. But I will not desecrate you, nor will I infringe on you. Please let me think about it and see if there is any other way. Give me some time, okay?"

She looked at me with tears of gratitude in her eyes, "Uncle Feng, thank you. I am a girl and can't do anything. But I can't find anyone else to help me. Uncle Feng, I thank you. As long as you can help me get this done, I will definitely thank you very much. You can do anything you want me to do in the future."

I shook my head and sighed, "Mu Jiao, you said that women are born to be considered weak, but I don't see this way, because many examples can be seen that women can be self-reliant. In fact, you have a psychological shadow now, but I believe you can walk out of the shadow. I think women are not weak, but should belong to the strong. I remember a behaviorist said that the painful thing in the world is to use the right hand of a knife to cut your left hand, and the pain can reach 90%. The behaviorist also said that the most important thing in the world is to use the right hand of a knife to cut your left hand. The pain level can reach 90%. The behaviorist also said that the most in the world

The pain is that women give birth to children, and the danger and pain level reach 98%. But why do many women say to their husbands another one after giving birth? That's because of love! I have done such brave things. Are women still weak? Women are really not weak, because they can use other things or feelings to replace the parts they are hurt. However, in reality, we find that those women who have been hurt often and repeatedly do the same thing, that is, they hurt themselves and remind themselves.

When hurt, we have to tell that people are hurt. It is like someone throwing the knife that hurts them on the ground, but they pick it up again and keep pricking them on their unhealed wounds. In fact, both men and women have a fragile side. They are not always strong, but men and women express themselves differently. So, I think as a woman, the first thing is to learn to be tolerant, not only tolerant of others but also tolerant of themselves. Women should be kind to themselves. In fact, sometimes losing them is also

It would be a kind of beauty. I remember a story about an old man reading a newspaper on the deck of a ship. His hat was blown into the sea by the wind, but he just took a look lightly, and then continued to look at his newspaper. Someone asked him why, and he said: Can I still jump into the sea and pick it up? This story tells us: In fact, loss is also a kind of beauty, as long as you treat it with a peaceful attitude. In short, whether it is a man or a woman, you will be a strong man if you defeat yourself. Mu Jiao, do you say so?"

People on the dance floor are very close to each other, and there is only a kind of confusion between them. People are dancing wildly and tirelessly. The lady leading the dancer twists her snake-shaped waist frantically, reminding people of a piston movement that ignores its value. J swears from time to time, stimulating the crazy crowd to become even more crazy. This is a collision between souls and desires, and people have long lost their balance......

When the songs ended and I returned to my seat from the dance floor, I felt very tired and tired. My whole spine felt very sore because of my long shaking. Mu Jiao called for foreign wine, and we drank the wine and watched the bustling noise in front of us together.

We are on the second floor, and sitting here you can look down at the performances and carnivals of the Central Di Bar Garden Station below. When another channel of powerful so music sounded, the dance floor was already full of young figures. They were twisting their bodies in a state of circumstance, shaking their heads frantically, and dancing with great concentration to the rhythm of the music. They looked like they didn't want themselves anymore.

The bizarre lights cut, deformed, and melted the shaking people; j screamed in the microphone from time to time to increase the atmosphere; the leader dancer twisted his slim body and shook his shoulder-length hair. The whole hall was really boiling like a volcano eruption. There was dry ice in the pool from time to time, and the fog rolled, and each other's faces could not be seen face to face, let alone eyes. The song was stronger, and people danced madly like drunkenness, although the fundamental way to do large movements was almost at the point of shoulder-to-shoulder. This position reminded me of what I often see in movies

The French or Russian aristocrats watched the theater in the private room, their vision was as clear and condescending, but now they felt more open and restrained. Mu Jiao and I couldn't help but go down to join their carnival. The space around was full of music, and the strong rhythm wrapped around me like a violent hurricane, making me swept away involuntarily, and took myself to some unknown place in the universe. Thoughts were difficult to exist continuously, but from time to time, some flashes of thoughts fell on the ground like broken pieces, but they did not connect it into a whole.

Indulging yourself may be a part of human nature, or a tendency to human nature. However, indulgence and regret are often the main causes of people's unhappiness and the most critical factor leading to tragedy in life. But at this moment, I no longer care about so much, because every cell of my body is full of desire to vent. Following the strong rhythm, I danced my body, as if I was the only one left in the world. I was dancing constantly, as if I was back to the primitive tribe, expressing the craziest, simplest, and most honest thoughts in body language. This feeling of releasing with my body really touched me.

"Tell me if you want it?" j's magnetic voice sounded in the music.

"Yes!" The crazy crowd raised their arms and waved and screamed, with sharp whistles occasionally passing by the rhythmic cunch.

I tried to shake my head a few times, and the feeling of drowsiness became stronger and stronger, but there was an unknown feeling of comfort in the drowsiness, dizziness, whiteness, and completely unconsciousness, quietly spreading from my head to the whole body. But my thinking was still clear. I clearly observed everyone around me, wondering how I could reach such a crazy state. Mu Jiao, who was dancing wildly like me, attracted my eyes. Her empty eyes passed through the bustling crowd, staring at some point that she might not even know. Her body was bumped by the twisting people, moving passively and consciously.

There was a fat man in the seat not far away from her, swaying his big head with his eyes closed, and his body twisted back and forth on the high swivel chair with the rhythm of music, looking very devoted. A boy with yellow hair in the pool swayed his hips exaggeratedly at a girl who looked pure, and touched her sexually rich skin from time to time. Several girls floated lightly from the side, wearing out-of-season clothes, some wearing suspenders and long skirts, while others were wearing sleeves and miniskirts. They were full of excitement and twisted their bodies and walked through the narrow passage, and the blurred eyes of the boys were flashing in the dim space around them. Everyone was busy with their own affairs, and no one noticed my searching gaze.

Then Mu Jiao and I returned to our seats again and we started drinking. At this moment, we no longer had the same alert as before.

I found that listening to music in Diba is like looking for a shy girlfriend in a carnival, and I have to mobilize all my attention to carefully distinguish it in the abortion. The songs in Diba can no longer be called songs. In the strong high volume and strong rhythm that is enough to suffocate the heart patient, the song has become the background, and it is essentially gentle and harsh impulsive. Then, I was immediately overwhelmed by the touching lyrics and moving melody of a song, because this song is something I have heard, and it is very nice, and I can also sing it, so I couldn't help but sing it with it.

However, my voice was as light as the sound of mosquitoes in the earth-shaking percussion. Perhaps even the sound of mosquitoes was not as good as that of mosquitoes, because we heard mosquitoes in the quiet background, and the mosquitoes were loud like thunder. But here, even if I shouted at the top of my lungs, it could only be heard by a few people around me.

Mu Jiao is like me, she is singing, singing loudly. At this moment, I suddenly felt a feeling of being touched, resonated, and shaken, and it has been deeply left in my heart.
To be continued...