No one can know and feel what I feel at this moment. Please update as soon as possible. At this moment, my heart was completely and completely confused. The moment I found the familiar figure not far in front of me,
My heart suddenly felt as if it was being pressed down by a huge boulder. My heart began to tremble and my mind went blank.
But the driver and Qian beside me didn't notice anything unusual about me. Maybe it was because I had already cultivated to the point where my heart was turbulent but on the surface I remained calm.
After entering the hall, I immediately said to Qian: "You guys wait for me, I'll go for your convenience, convenience."
Immediately, I quickly went to the bathroom in the restaurant lobby.[
After I entered, I found that there was no one inside, so I immediately took out my mobile phone and called Zhu Dan.
She answered the call quickly. At this moment, my heartbeat suddenly accelerated again, but I tried my best to control myself and asked her in a relaxed tone: "Xiao Dan, what are you doing?
"
She smiled and said, "You missed me? Where are you?"
I immediately said: "I was having dinner at a restaurant here at Jiangnan University, with the president of Jiangnan University. What about you?"
She said: "I just went home and was thinking about what to eat for dinner."
At this time, I suddenly noticed the sound of TV coming from the phone. Immediately combined with what she just said, I immediately understood that I had just seen the wrong person. My heart suddenly became completely relaxed and I felt depressed.
The stone in my heart suddenly disappeared. At this time, my whole person suddenly became relaxed and happy, and then I said to her softly: "You can eat whatever you want first. I will come back later and accompany you."
Let’s have a late night snack, okay?”
She said dissatisfiedly: "You must be drunk again."
I thought to myself: This is quite possible. On the one hand, I am going to have a drink with the president of Jiangnan University tonight. I am also from a university, and the president is also my senior. On the other hand, my mood has suddenly changed from
The tense state suddenly became relaxed and happy, which made me suddenly have a desire to drink and need to vent. I said: "Well, I will stay with you all day tomorrow. I will go back tonight
Home."
She said to me in a sweet voice: "No. You come tonight. You have to accompany me tomorrow. I will go to the supermarket to buy some things and come back, then I will take a shower and wait for you."
Her words suddenly excited my heart, and I agreed repeatedly. At this moment, I immediately understood: I already have a deep emotion for her in my heart.
In addition, there is still a slight uneasiness in my heart, because I always feel that what I just saw as the wrong person represents a bad premonition.
After I walked out of the bathroom, I found Qian and my driver waiting for me there. I nodded to them, "Let's go."
No one other than myself will know about the little episode just now, and I still look calm at this moment.
After arriving at the private room upstairs, Qian opened the door for me, and then said inside, "Mayor Feng is here."
Secretary Qian came to me quickly and hugged me exaggeratedly, "Mayor Feng, you are finally here."
I couldn't help but smile bitterly in my heart: His exaggeration is actually a sign of immaturity. He has not yet cultivated to the point where his emotions and anger are invisible. This can also be said to be childish and frivolous. But I understand him very well.
, he was showing his old boss the extent of his relationship with me. I think it was the same when I just came out of college.
When I first came in, I noticed that there were already a lot of people sitting in this private room, about seven or eight. I think one of the very elegant elders should be the president of Jiangnan University.
I have seen his photo when I was recruiting students in the province, but I have never met him in person.
Immediately, Secretary Qian introduced all the people he invited to me one by one. Except for the president, the others were all directors or department heads of Jiangnan University. I can imagine it, and I can also do it now.
It can be seen that these people should all be friends of Secretary Qian when he was at Jiangnan University.
It seems that Secretary Qian’s banquet today has another meaning: returning home in glory.[
During dinner in the evening, the principal asked me several questions: how to transform from professional and technical staff to administrative staff; the difference between university work and local work; how to adapt to local work as soon as possible; how to deal with the relationship between administrative work and professional development now.
I felt that the principal was an academic leader and was very unfamiliar with local work, so his questions had a strong academic nature. I answered him one by one.
After hearing this, he nodded and said: "The Organization Department of the Provincial Party Committee requires our universities to send more talents to the local areas. Now it seems that it is not easy for the cadres of our universities to adapt to local work. Xiaoqian, in the future you have to ask your Feng
The mayor is studying."
Secretary Qian smiled and said, "I've been learning from him."
I smiled and said, "He and I learn from each other. Secretary Qian does a very good job in our Shangjiang City, and everyone speaks highly of him."
Although Secretary Qian and I are both members of the Standing Committee of the Municipal Party Committee, I am a full-time official after all, so it is okay for me to evaluate him like this. In addition, it is also necessary for me to evaluate him like this, which will make him stand out in front of the leaders and friends of his alma mater.
Very face-saving.
The principal just smiled and said nothing. I felt that maybe he also saw the instability problem in Secretary Qian. In fact, Secretary Qian was relatively stable when he went to Shangjiang, and his speech and behavior were pretty good.
It's quite decent, but he seemed a little excited and frivolous today in front of his old boss and old friends. This is easy to understand. After all, he went from assistant to the principal to deputy secretary of the municipal party committee, which is a big leap, and the swelling in his heart
Therefore, it is normal for him to appear. After all, he is different from me, because I had several experiences that he did not have before arriving in Shangjiang City, so I have developed the composure and caution I have now.
Because there were so many people, and because everyone was from college, and Secretary Qian still had old friendships with them, everyone quickly became enthusiastic, and the result of this enthusiasm was that the speed and amount of drinking increased.
.
Of course I drank a lot. There are two reasons for this. One is that I like this kind of atmosphere, and the other is that I have to give Secretary Qian face. At the wine table, I respectfully toasted the principal several times and even returned the favor.
Everyone here.
But I still controlled the amount of alcohol I drank. Later I told the principal: "The drinking here is so heavy that I feel like my liver can't bear it. I envy Secretary Qian very much. He doesn't drink much. He's really lucky."
The principal nodded and said: "Mayor Feng, you are right. Your health is more important than anything else. Especially you young people, you should pay more attention."
His words were equivalent to an imperial edict here, so they immediately played a role in protecting me.
During the meal, the principal told me that he didn’t know much about local work conditions, and he was also worried that university cadres would not adapt when they went to the local areas, so he wanted to learn some relevant things from me today.
After I answered many of his questions, he said, it seems that exchanges like this are very necessary. The circle of colleges and universities is too narrow. Nowadays, colleges and universities are developing rapidly, and many of our cadres cannot adapt to the current speed of development.
, including myself.
I smiled and said, you are too humble. I had a lot of contact with your school when I was recruiting students in the province, and I know that your school has developed rapidly in recent years. Both scientific research and school construction have made great progress.
.This is of course inseparable from your ideas and specific work.
He shook his head and said, in fact, we can do better, but I do have big flaws in my knowledge in this area. Therefore, I think the idea of the Provincial Party Committee Organization Department is right. As a university, we should send out more
People go to local areas for training, and at the same time, we may be willing to introduce some leaders with local work experience to work in colleges and universities.
I immediately felt that this was an issue worthy of discussion. So I asked him, colleges and universities are engaged in academics and should have a pure academic atmosphere. Local cadres are often eager for quick success and quick gains, and pay too much attention to economic development issues. In this case
It will conflict with the purpose of the development of universities. Nowadays, many people are criticizing the problems of bureaucracy and academic corruption in universities. Wouldn't this aggravate the situation?
He sighed and said, Mayor Feng has touched on the crux of the problem. But universities across the country are like this. They are all talking about economic benefits and trying to transform scientific research projects into maximum economic benefits, and our teachers are also the same.
People also hope to have a high-quality life, but the country only treats teachers so little, so we can only rely on ourselves to find a way. Nowadays, colleges and universities have no way to do this.
I nodded and said, it is indeed the case. In the final analysis, this is still a problem of the system. When the Kuomintang ruled the mainland, university professors were paid very well, and all were funded by the Communist Party. But at that time, there were not as many universities and university teachers as there are now.
It was not as big as it is now, so it was much easier to solve the problems in the university system at that time. Indeed, there is no way. The country is a chess game, and any of our universities can only adapt to this situation and reality. Including our local government
Generally speaking, although I know that many problems can be solved through other ways, I am forced to give up because the system does not allow it. However, I think that colleges and universities are colleges after all, and they should still have a minimum academic atmosphere.
College students are full of ideals and dreams while studying there, so I think we should not introduce too many things from society. I also came from college, and I know well the impact of the beauty of college on a person's life.
How old is it? We were still in a hazy state in middle school, but our dreams and ideals began to awaken in college. So I think colleges and universities should have such social responsibility, that is, they should let college students have ideals and dreams.
He looked at me and asked, Mayor Feng means that it is best not to introduce local cadres to colleges and universities?
I nodded and said that it is appropriate to send out cadres from universities, because this can give them more choices and development opportunities. But when local cadres go to work in universities, they are required to go from complex to simple. This is like
It is relatively easy for a person to go from innocence to maturity, but it is very difficult for a person to go back to innocence again. This is something that many people find difficult to achieve. How many people can achieve such a state of returning to nature?
The principal laughed and said, Mayor Feng's perspective on the problem is indeed unique. Xiaoqian, the meal you arranged today is very meaningful.
I hurriedly said that this is just my personal opinion and cannot be put on the stage. Because you are my senior, I dare to speak out like this.[
The principal said to everyone present, look at it, the level of the cadres in our colleges and universities is different after they go to the local level for training, right? You should also learn more from Mayor Feng in the future. Now I discovered that many of our college cadres
Cadres are actually the frog in the well.
I immediately regretted it in my heart. Am I too arrogant today? Wouldn’t the principal’s words just now make me offend most of the people here? I hurriedly said, don’t say that. In fact, these thoughts of mine are very serious.
Childish. I feel it myself, and I still can’t get rid of my college complex. So, I am the same as everyone here. Someone once said something, what is the so-called calmness? The answer is that people are more pretentious than ordinary people.
Just a few. Haha! I was just showing off.
The principal laughed suddenly, and everyone laughed. Then the principal said, Mayor Feng is so funny. But what I am telling is a fact. Mayor Feng, I have gained a lot today, and it seems that I will also be able to do it in the future.
We should train more cadres from the Organization Department of the Provincial Party Committee. I saw you today, which made me even more determined in this idea. Hey! Why don’t you all disrespect Mayor Feng’s wine? What opportunities will you have in the future?
But there are too many.
I didn't expect that the dinner party I attended today would have such an effect, and I also felt that the people here didn't seem to be disgusted with me.
As a result, I really drank too much. But even if I drink too much, I will not talk nonsense. Of course, I will have an uncontrollable excitement. In that case, I can keep silent. This is also
A kind of practice.
Secretary Qian's drinking capacity is not good, and he drank a lot today. After all, the situation today is different. He must be drunk, because he talks a lot. But I felt that he didn't say anything out of the ordinary, and what he said was normal.
It was just something he did when he was in school, but his voice was a little loud.
After drinking, it is easy for a person to reveal his true nature, because alcohol has an exciting effect, and the excitement stimulated by alcohol is not easy to control.
I went to say goodbye to the principal and the division directors who had dinner with me today, and insisted on seeing them off first. Intellectuals are the same, they are also very particular about hierarchy, and I pay special attention to this aspect.
The principal said, OK. Then he said to Secretary Qian, Xiaoqian, please give it to Mayor Feng. I said hurriedly, Secretary Qian will give it to you. The principal said, there are many of us, you two can do it today.
Take the opportunity to communicate.
I guessed that the principal also drank too much, and I thought to myself that Secretary Qian and I worked in the same place, so there were not many opportunities to communicate. But I didn’t insist anymore, because Secretary Qian had already agreed.
Secretary Qian didn't talk much at the wine table today, because most of the time it was me and the principal who were talking, and everyone else became the audience.
After they left, I went to Secretary Qian and said, "You should go back and rest early. We all drank too much today. Thank you for today's dinner."
He smiled and said: "Why are you so polite to me? I should be thanking you. Today you made my old leader look at you with admiration. My face is also very bright, isn't it?"
I laughed and said, "You guy, don't say such things in front of me! Why do I feel so disgusting?"
He couldn't help laughing, and then he asked me in a low voice: "Mayor Feng, let's find another place to have a drink? I asked some beautiful teachers from Jiangnan University to come out. The teachers from your medical school said
She is a medical student, but she is actually not as open-minded as the teachers in our comprehensive colleges, nor is she as romantic as the female teachers in our school."
I didn't expect him to say such words out of the blue. I immediately realized that he was indeed drunk, and then smiled and said: "Come on. We are all drunk now, so you should go back and rest early. Like this
It would be bad if something happens to the state."
He shook his head and said: "I know I drank too much, but I am still very conscious. Isn't it just fun and relaxing? I won't make mistakes. Hehe! Mayor Feng, don't look at me. I'm ugly. I'm from our school."
Those female teachers still like to drink and play with me very much, because I am a more fun person. When I was in school, I was not like now. Now I have no choice but to put my tail between my legs and be a good person. Places and universities are still very different.
You think so, Mayor Feng?"
I even think that he was drunk or excited. Otherwise, he would not have said such things to me casually. Drunk people tend to reveal their true nature, including their purest side.
So it's easier to trust people. But I definitely don't want to drink anymore. Firstly, I don't want him to make a fool of himself, and secondly, Zhu Dan is waiting for me. So I immediately refused, "Next time. Next time you
Call a few people out and let's have dinner together."
He seemed to suddenly realize his excitement, and then said: "Okay. Then you go back and rest early."
I asked Xiao Sui to send me directly to Zhu Dan. He is not from Shangjiang City, so I am not worried about him knowing about my relationship with Zhu Dan. Besides, I am single now, even if I am going to meet a girl.
After getting on the bus, I suddenly felt a little funny: Secretary Qian said that there are many beautiful female teachers at Jiangnan University who like him. How is this possible? It is possible that there are one or two, after all, his seat is there, and there are
of women don’t entirely value a man’s appearance.
But his performance just now made me feel something: he is very confident. In fact, this is understandable. After a man succeeds in his career, self-confidence will follow. Also, greed for money and lust are actually
What's inside a man's nature has nothing to do with a person's appearance.
From a psychological point of view, human nature is human nature. Human nature is also called the id. The id acts according to the principle of pleasure. The id is the most primitive part of each person's personality. Everyone's
Nature is the most primitive self, and the self is the storage bank of human biological impulses and desires, and human biological impulses and desires include sexual desire and appetite. Sexual desire is the liking and desire for sexy women, and appetite is the taste of food.
The desire and driving force of the id will prompt people to constantly seek satisfaction and pleasure. Therefore, the id is the source of human instinctive impulses. This kind of desire includes the happiness brought by the satisfaction of appetite and sexual needs. The id is
The human body and self are what humans and animals have in common.
The ego is composed of the original energy of various living things and is completely at the level of consciousness. It is all the psychological accumulation that is fixed in the body when a person is born. It is suppressed and excluded from the person for a while.
Irrational, conscious vitality, drive, instinct, impulse, desire and other psychological abilities.
The ego is the unity of human consciousness and material body, forming a whole life body. The inner whole of human beings constitutes the original existence of human beings and is the original form of the spiritual level.
For the original and fully conscious spiritual level of the id, it contains all instinctive driving forces that require immediate gratification. It is like a cauldron filled with water boiling with instincts and desires. It acts according to the pleasure principle and eagerly
He is always looking for an outlet and blindly pursuing satisfaction. Everything in his self is always conscious.
However, since human beings have now entered a civilized society, due to the emergence of legal and moral constraints, people have a complex relationship between their id and the external world. In order for individuals to adapt to reality, they restrict and suppress their id and begin to follow reality.
Principles, thus forming the self.
The relationship between the id and the self is not static, but is always in a contradictory movement of conflict, entanglement and coordination. It is this contradictory movement that maintains an unfair but almost reasonable society. However, without the constraints of law and morality, people will
The self will disappear, people will be left with only their id, and the world will be in chaos. Human society will return to a form similar to the primitive forest where wild beasts live, because the id seeks its own survival and the satisfaction of instinctive desires.
The necessary driving force. If this driving force is not restricted and restricted by the law, it will arbitrarily derive many criminal behaviors. Therefore, the reason why some people do not commit crimes is not because human nature is good, but because of the constraints of the law and because of their own
Constraints, only legal and moral constraints will promote the internal coordination of a person's personality and ensure that people's interactions with the outside world can proceed smoothly in legitimate ways.
Many seemingly moral behaviors or behaviors that abide by morality are done for self-interest and are driven by the ego. The two most important reasons are personal reputation and legal norms, both of which are motivated by self-interest.
The purpose of moral behavior for personal reputation implies the satisfaction of one's own wishes. The motivation for doing good deeds is to gain the respect of others and thus produce psychological satisfaction. The moral behavior that is forced by legal norms is to avoid legal punishment and avoid legal punishment.
These actions have no real moral significance if they are done because of the losses they have suffered.
The extreme form of the ego is that everything is mine and others have nothing. The vulgar situation based on this reason is what we often see, those developed for physiological needs such as appetite, sex, comfort, etc.
Such as robbery and murder and other extreme illegal activities, so if you don't do bad things, you are not considered a bad person, but you are not considered noble either.
The motivations for human behavior can be divided into three types: wishing to be happy for oneself, wishing for others to suffer, and making others happy to achieve one's own happiness. These three motivations are self-interest, malice, and sympathy. Self-interest and malice are unethical motivations. In fact, most
When most people work, they have no direct motivation to do good for others, but their work indirectly promotes doing good to others, and the real main motivation is the salary after work.
A person who does not molest others does not mean that he does not have sexual desire. It is just that the constraints of laws and moral etiquette prevent people from expressing their sexual desire to their fullest. The human body is naturally formed by sex hormones and gonads.
The sexual endocrine system will naturally maintain the basic tension and excitability of sexual intercourse between the sexes. The human body's cerebral cortex, spinal cord low sexual excitement center and nervous system composed of erogenous zones and conductive nerves will ensure the body's response to the environment.
The sexy temptation existing in the body can generate response energy in a timely and effective manner. According to the principles of physiology, it is impossible for a person to have no lust, and morals and etiquette define lust as lust, so it is impossible for such a person not to be lustful.
Some people are too conservative in their thinking. In the eyes of conservative people, there is something wrong with open-minded people. In the modern world, the concept of sex has become more open, and some things with a higher erotic meaning have been generally accepted by the public, such as
In recent years, women-related things, such as bishoujo games and gothic lolita, which have become quite popular in Japan and other East Asian regions, are an example. According to the mainstream values of modern young people, satisfying desires will improve the quality of life.
An important part is that on the contrary, the behavior of opposing sexual desire is considered immoral. Therefore, sexual activity products have been developed for a variety of purposes. The uses are not limited to health care. The sex products industry is also developing rapidly in China. China holds sex activities every year.
At supply trade exhibitions, the number of exhibitors and visitors has been increasing, and people are also very willing to buy some sex supplies for fun. Sexual liberation has become a general trend. The reason why some people think that people with prostitutes are abnormal is that
Because their values are contrary to human nature.
In fact, there is no need to make a fuss. Sexual desire is an instinctive desire of human beings, which is beneficial to breeding the next generation. However, generally speaking, the sexual desire of most animals only exists during the estrus period, and the estrus period of animals usually
There are certain times. But for humans, there is no concept of estrus. In other words, humans can be in estrus at any time when they meet a sexy member of the opposite sex. If it must be divided into periods, people's sexual desire will be stronger in the morning.
When you meet a sexy girl, the genitals of a young and healthy man will naturally ejaculate.
Men will have the desire to have sexual relations or physical contact with another person. The occurrence of sexual desire is related to the physiological basis of both sexes. One is the sexual endocrine system composed of sex hormones and gonads, which maintains sexual desire.
The basic tension and excitability of the body, and the second one is the nervous system composed of the cerebral cortex, spinal cord hypo-excitability center and erogenous zones and conductive nerves. They ensure the body's ability to respond promptly and effectively to the environment. If a person still has ** certificate
His secretion system is normal.
Sexual desire is an instinctive desire, which is beneficial to breeding the next generation. However, generally speaking, the sexual desire of most animals only exists during the estrus period, and the estrus period of animals usually has a certain period. But for humans
For example, there is no concept of estrus, or humans can be in estrus at any time when they meet a sexy person of the opposite sex. If you do not learn to control your sexual desires, it will lead to sexual crimes. Single people can pass sexual desires.
It is normal to engage in activities to satisfy your own sexual desires. People all over the world have this behavior, which is harmful to safety. For men, it can prevent the occurrence of prostatitis and prostate cancer. Both men and women can
*, to understand one's own body is beneficial to future sexual life. If it must be done in stages, people's sexual desire will be stronger in the morning, which is why the genitals of young and healthy men will naturally ejaculate in the morning.
As age increases, the chance of morning erection will gradually decrease. This is a normal thing. There is no need to worry about this, and there is no need to condemn that kind of behavior. Simple physical contact with the opposite sex is completely normal.
People's suppression of desires makes the so-called civilization and so-called morality possible. In fact, people have always established the interests of some people by sacrificing the interests of some people, so they have always used public opinion and propaganda to suppress the desires of some people.
Indulging the desires of other people, so-called asceticism has become a tool of rule by interest groups. They fool the people they rule and make them suppress their desires, while the interest groups continue to satisfy their desires. Perhaps this is domination.
From a certain perspective, humans are actually beasts in disguise. Humans have animal nature, but they also know how to be hypocritical. Unlike other animals, humans will hide their desires.
Maybe it was because I drank too much, so the excitement made my mind wander. But I didn't talk to the driver. I still need to observe this new driver for a while.
When I got off the bus, I said to the driver, "You can rest at home tomorrow and the day after tomorrow. You can pick me up at my house at five o'clock in the afternoon the day after tomorrow. I have an entertainment."
He promised repeatedly. I suddenly remembered something, "Take some of the cigarettes and wine in the trunk of the car and give them to your father. Just say I gave them to his old man."
He hurriedly said: "Mayor Feng, this..."
I smiled at him and said: "This is my intention. Anyway, I don't drink much, let alone smoke. These things are usually arranged by you and secretary Xiao Xu. It's okay, you will get used to it slowly. This is not
Even if it’s a big event, you guys have to work very hard. As long as there are no problems on major occasions, that’s fine.”
He nodded and drove away. At this moment, I suddenly felt that I was really excited today. I was so excited that I was a little impulsive: Why did I say those words to the driver? But I didn't think anything, after all, it was not a big deal.
.
When I arrived at Zhu Dan's place, she had already finished taking a shower. After I entered, she did not hug me as usual, but immediately asked me to take a shower. I didn't say much, because I knew that I was in trouble after drinking.
The smell is terrible, although I can't smell it myself.
She put the water for me, and then gently took off my clothes. Her movements were very gentle, so gentle that it made my heart warm, and a sense of happiness suddenly came to my heart. At this moment, I suddenly felt
She really seems to be a virtuous and lovely wife.
Such a feeling of warmth and happiness immediately made it difficult to restrain the impulse in my heart. I put my hands on her shoulders and said to her: "Xiao Dan, do you know?
?Today I almost thought someone was you. You don’t know, the moment I saw that woman’s back, my breathing almost stopped.”
At this time, she was unbuckling my pants. When she heard what I said, she immediately raised her head and looked at me, "Smile, was the purpose of you calling me earlier just to confirm whether that person was
I?"
When she asked this question, I immediately regretted it, but the words had already been spoken and I couldn't take them back, so I had no choice but to nod and say: "Yes. Xiao Dan, I was extremely nervous at the time, and I suddenly felt like a world
A feeling of doom.”
After saying this, I regretted it even more. This was me showing her that I had fallen in love with her. I once heard someone describe the feeling of being drunk: I was very excited when I was drunk, and I couldn’t help but want to
When speaking, when a sentence is said, I immediately feel that it should not be said, but the next sentence, which should not be said even more, has already appeared.
Now I'm in this situation.
At this time, I found that her eyes were full of tenderness. She stood up and gently hugged me. She rubbed her face on my cheek and whispered to me: "Laugh,
You know what? I was very happy to hear what you just said."
At this moment, a kind of warmth suddenly surged into my heart again, but at the same time, I felt a little regretful: Are you really ready to marry her and live a long life with her?
My hands went to her back, and after hesitating for a few moments, I gently held her in my arms. But I didn’t know what I should do now. I understood that everything I had just shown was due to impulse, and now I
I hesitated and regretted it. I knew that it was unrealistic for me to marry her, because she would not be able to accept that I would continue to date other women after our marriage. Even now, I cannot tell her such a thing.
So, I immediately and instinctively chose silence.
She hugged me for a while, maybe because she suddenly realized that I didn't speak, and then she seemed to understand. She opened my mouth gently and said, "Go take a bath. It's easy to catch a cold when the water is cold."
Then I saw the sadness and disappointment on her face.
She didn't come to take a bath for me, but just brought my pajamas inside for me in the middle of the bath. I felt extremely guilty, so I didn't make any requests to her. Moreover, I didn't dare to see her at all.
s eyes.
Although I felt an extremely pleasurable physical sensation while soaking in the hot water and felt the alcohol in my body slowly evaporating, my heart felt very desolate. So it didn't take long for me to come out of it.
, then wiped her body clean and put on the pajamas she brought in just now.
After I went out, I found her sitting on the sofa watching TV. I went to sit down next to her with some embarrassment. After a moment of hesitation, I took her body in my arms. She didn't refuse, and her body was soft.
, but I felt that her thoughts did not seem to be in her body, because I felt that she was careless about me.
I called her, "Xiao Dan..."
She answered me immediately, "Well..."
However, her voice still sounded careless, or absent-minded, which made me suddenly feel a sense of fear and interest. I took my hand out of her waist and said, "You can watch TV."
.I want to go to bed. I’ve been too tired lately.”
She seemed to react at this moment, "Let's go together."
I suddenly felt an inexplicable excitement in my heart.
She turned off the TV, and then went to the bedroom with me on the bed. But I found that she still looked so absent-minded, and then asked her softly: "What's wrong with you?"
She was startled for a moment, then turned to me and smiled sweetly, "It's nothing. Go to sleep."
I went to hug her body, and immediately felt her body being numb again. My passion was not much left, and I sighed in my heart, "Go to sleep. I'm sleepy."
I really fell asleep immediately, and it turned out to be a dream all night long.
When I woke up the next morning, I found that she was also awake, and she was looking at me. I was a little surprised, "Why did you wake up so early today?"
But she just smiled at me. I seemed to understand, and immediately asked her again: "You didn't sleep last night?"
She withdrew her gaze from my face, shook her head slightly, and then said softly to me: "Smile, I can't sleep."
At this moment, I seemed to understand... I immediately asked her: "Xiao Dan, do you regret being with me?"
She shook her head slightly, "I don't regret it, but I feel like I have no hope."
I suddenly felt uncomfortable in my heart, but I still said to her: "Xiao Dan, I told you before, you can leave me at any time."
She immediately came to look at me and said, "Then you recognized the wrong person last night, why are you feeling so uncomfortable?"
I was stunned immediately.
But she was still looking at me, "Smile, why can't you accept me? Is it because of my past?"
I shook my head, "Who doesn't have a past? I have more past."
She immediately asked, "Why? What unsolvable problems have you encountered? Can you tell me? We can solve it together. I believe we can solve all problems together. Laugh,
Can you tell me now?"
I was silent, then shook my head slightly...
People's premonitions are sometimes very sensitive. When I went to that restaurant last night, when I mistakenly thought that the woman holding someone else's arm was Zhu Dan, but later it was confirmed that she was not her, I felt like...
Suddenly I had an ominous premonition that there would be big problems in my relationship with Zhu Dan.
In fact, people's premonitions are more often the result of our subconscious analysis of the antecedents. As far as my relationship with Zhu Dan is concerned, I had no intention of establishing a marriage relationship with her, and I have told her many times.
This, but after all, she is young and hopes to have a family of her own in the future. This is inevitable. Since I cannot give her these things, it is inevitable that she will be dissatisfied with me and even think about leaving. This will happen sooner or later. But
When I mistakenly thought that this day had arrived, it was still very difficult to accept it in my heart.
But now, I am really facing this problem. In fact, although the misunderstanding last night was difficult for me to accept at that moment, it also served as an early reminder. Such early reminders are many
This has somewhat strengthened my current mental endurance.
Also, her absent-mindedness last night also made me feel calm in my heart.
Now, at this moment, I finally face all this, and I am very rational at this moment. I know that I still have no choice but to give up, and I still cannot tell her the fundamental reason. So, now I
The right to choose was given to her.
I dare not look at her. At this moment, I am like a prisoner awaiting trial, waiting for her to pronounce my sentence.