Now, I understand, Zhu Dan is asking me why I am so unsympathetic and unrighteous. {Free novel}

Today, I saw her with the guy named Song Yang, but I showed a kind of indifference. And during the whole meal until now, I have never taken the initiative to call her or send her a message.

A text message. If I were her, I would definitely think so. Because my behavior today completely made her feel that I was indifferent to her emotions, and it showed how I felt about losing her.

And she must have been waiting for me to call or send her a text message tonight. She must have gotten impatient and thought my dinner should be over, so she couldn't help but send me this text message.

At this moment, I felt a sense of guilt and tenderness in my heart. Because I felt her true love for me. I knew that it was precisely because she cared about me that she acted like this.

Come and question me.[

And it was precisely because I thought of her true feelings for me that I made the final decision at this moment: I must leave her without hesitation. Only in this way can I be truly good to her, otherwise it will be harmful.

she.

Unless I agree to marry her. But I know this is impossible, unless I am willing to give up everything I have now for her, or I am willing for her to give up her future career path.

If I choose to marry Zhu Dan now, I must no longer have that kind of relationship with Lin Yu, otherwise Zhu Dan is likely to become the next victim, or our marriage will not last long. In this case

, Lin Yu will certainly not change my current status much, but he may not necessarily help me like before. I think this is inevitable.

It's not that I think Lin Yu is too realistic, but that I already know her very well. I feel that Lin Yu has true feelings for me, because since I met her, she has conditionally supported me in almost everything I do.

You know, even I would not do this for someone. This is already very clear. And she is a woman. Although she can tolerate me dating other women, she will never do it because of me.

Give up her completely for another woman.

Of course, I can try that, but I don't dare to do it, because it is actually a gamble, and the chance of winning in this gamble is extremely small for me.

In fact, a person's decision is often made in a short period of time. Just after Zhu Dan said those words to me, I immediately made up my mind. Because such a decision has long been formed in my heart.

, and I have already analyzed the reasons. Moreover, I have already made a decision on this matter, but today's events have shaken my determination and caused a ripple in my heart.

.

I immediately said: "Zhu Dan, we will not have a good result, because I can't give you what you need most. This is marriage. I'm sorry."

The sound of her heavy breathing came from the phone, and then came her slightly choked voice, "Why?"

The discomfort in my heart suddenly emerged, but I tried my best to keep my voice calm and calm. I said: "Didn't I tell you before? I have been since the first day of our relationship.

I tell you. Zhu Dan, I am an unlucky person, and anyone who marries me will have a bad end. Several women have suffered misfortune because of their marriage to me, and I don’t want you to be like that."

She was crying softly, "That's superstition. You shouldn't be superstitious..."

I said softly: "Zhu Dan, you are not me, and you cannot understand the pain I have endured when I faced all that. Therefore, it is best for us to separate now. Although I feel very sad, I can only do this.

.Zhu Dan, you are still young, I hope you can be happy."

After she was silent for a moment, she said softly to me: "Smile, why don't you ask me what the relationship between this person and me today is?"

There was an uncomfortable feeling in my heart again, and there was a cramping feeling in my stomach. My mouth was also bitter and sour. I tried my best to control these complicated emotions again, and spoke softly to her.

Said: "Zhu Dan, as long as you think he is suitable. What else can I say?"

She doesn't speak.

I thought about it and continued: "Zhu Dan, I don't know how to tell you this matter. In fact, the emotions between people are both complicated and relatively simple at the same time. It is said that the first people created by God were all

They were androgynous, but he found that such people were too weak and terrible, so he divided them into two halves, which is what we are now men and women. Therefore, each of us has been looking for his own half throughout his life. Very often.

Obviously, it has been proven that I am not your half, and you are not my half, so we cannot be together forever. Zhu Dan, if you find out who is your half, the real half, don't hesitate anymore

Come on. The longer I am with you, the greater the pain between us will be. Zhu Dan, do you understand what I mean?"

She hung up the phone.

And at this moment, the pain in my heart suddenly came. I felt my heart was stinging, and an unspeakable pain suddenly enveloped me in an instant. I felt my tears begin to surge.

And out.

In fact, I know the real purpose of her asking me to make this call just now - she is hoping that I will change my mind and get the last chance. But I did not give her this last chance, and at the same time I gave my last chance.

The opportunity was cruelly wiped out.

I didn't dare to let my sorrowful voice sound, because I didn't want my mother to worry about me, so I just cried silently. After a long time, I got into the bed, turned off the light, and put the quilt on my head. I wanted to

The ultimate darkness enveloped me...Now, I don’t even have the right to cry.[

Later, I fell asleep, but suddenly woke up in the middle of the night. I didn't know why, and after I woke up, I couldn't fall asleep again. At this time, I found that the quilt covering my head had long since disappeared.

At what point did it move to the lower part of my neck? Is it possible that deep down in my heart I am afraid of the dark? That’s why I escape from the complete darkness in my sleep?

I opened my eyes, and the room was completely dark, but there was light coming in from outside. I knew it was part of the light from the street lights in the community. Everything in front of me was shadowy, and I could feel the room.

Where every piece of furniture is located, the doors are open, and a breeze is coming in. The breeze blows the curtains and flutters gently. The fluttering of the curtains makes this dark room a little lively.

I tried to close my eyes and let myself fall asleep again, but after a while, I suddenly felt a kind of irritability in my mood. After a while, I slowly opened my eyes... and then

The moment I opened my eyes, I suddenly felt that my heart almost stopped beating, because I found a scary, human-like silhouette shaking in the doorway of the room, and it was

I didn't feel that it was a person at all in my consciousness. At this moment, a scary word suddenly appeared in my mind: ghost...

My breathing almost stopped, and I was filled with tension and fear.

But I immediately found that my body could not move at all, and I immediately understood that I was in a nightmare. I am a medical student, and I know that this situation is the result of my light sleep: most of my brain has entered a sleep state.

, but my cerebral cortex is still excited, so my body cannot move but my vision is in the same state as when I am awake.

I know how to really wake up in such a situation and how to return to reality from this terrible nightmare. The method is very simple, that is, to divert your attention. But in a nightmare state,

To divert attention, people must have strong conscious self-control, and the best way to achieve sufficient self-control is to fantasize about the details of sex.

I closed my eyes and began to imagine that I was with Zhu Dan at this time: Zhu Dan was beside me at this time, and she was touching the skin of my chest with her gentle hands, and her gentleness immediately reached my chest.

Soul. She was kissing my lips, and our tongues were intertwining... Under my fantasy, her existence was so real.

She crawled on my body, her head on my crotch, and a real warmth began to envelope that part of my body, immediately letting me enter an extremely wonderful and exhausting pleasure. This way

The feeling is so wonderful, thousands, tens of thousands times better than sex in reality.

I started to moan, and then I merged with her. She was on top of my body, but I couldn't see her face. I wanted to see her clearly, so I immediately reached out to hold her head, and then turned to myself

My eyes were zoomed in. I saw it, but I suddenly realized that the woman in front of me was not Zhu Dan at all! She was Zhao Menglei!

At this moment, I suddenly realized that Zhao Menglei was no longer a person in this world, and an extreme fear suddenly appeared. And when my fear suddenly appeared, she was like the wind in front of me at this moment.

Generally disappeared.

I suddenly woke up and sat up from the bed. I saw that the shaking monster that scared me just now turned out to be a curtain that was fluttering rapidly. The wind outside was strong.

My method was effective, because now my body was able to move, but at this time I began to be afraid of such darkness, and hurriedly got up and turned on the light.

The darkness was dispelled in an instant, my eyes became bright, and my fear also dissipated.

I couldn't help sighing. I knew why I had a nightmare just now. It was the result of my inner anxiety. Now, I really can't sleep anymore, and now I also find that my tears have long dried up.

I lay on the bed quietly, and couldn't help but think about a question: Why did Zhao Menglei suddenly appear in my dream just now? You know, I was consciously fantasizing just now. But I immediately understood that Zhao Menglei was in

The sudden appearance in my dreams still reflects my subconscious.

In my subconscious, there is a deep guilt for Zhao Menglei, and hidden in this guilt is a fear of her.

In reality, Zhao Menglei killed her ex-husband, but I had already begun to betray her before she was alive. After her death, my private life became more and more chaotic and unruly.

Now I finally understand that deep down in my heart I have always had a deep fear of her. And I suddenly felt something: deep down in my heart, I felt far less guilty about her than she did.

This feeling of fear that gave me.

I couldn't help but sigh: Maybe for other men, if they could have as many women as I did, maybe they would feel that their lives were fulfilling and that their trip to this world was not in vain. But I didn't.

I feel that the more I experience this kind of feeling, the more emptiness and loneliness I feel. Moreover, I suddenly discovered that few of the women in my life have left a deep impression on my soul.

imprints, as if most of them were passers-by in my life, coming in a hurry and then leaving in a hurry.

I don’t want to recall the past, let alone continue to think about such issues. Because I know that all of these are things I did myself, and in the final analysis, all of them are cause and effect.

But I couldn't fall asleep anymore, so I lay in bed and read all night. But I knew that it was impossible to truly be peaceful in my heart. A person's emotional problems would affect his entire life. To solve this problem

The only solution to the problem is to make yourself busier and more tired.

So, I arranged a lot of things for myself the next day. I called several department heads in the province and asked to talk to them about several important things. Of course, these things should be discussed with them sooner or later.

Yes, but I arranged these things on the same day.

I invited three leaders in total, one in the morning, one in the afternoon, and one in the evening for dinner.[

The day passed quickly like this. Although I was very tired, my heart was no longer so painful.

When I went to work on Monday, I arranged a government executive meeting, which was held on the next day. This time I arranged a lot of topics, involving all aspects of recent work. This government executive meeting lasted from morning to noon, and after lunch

Everyone took a short break and continued in the afternoon. As a result, there were still some topics that had not been studied by the time we got off work in the afternoon. I asked everyone to go to the canteen to have dinner and then continue the meeting in the evening. Later, the meeting ended near midnight in the evening.

Everyone was exhausted, but I was still full of energy. But no one said anything about it, because there was really too much work in the city recently, and they didn't know the real reason why I did this.

In the next few days, I held many meetings, including general meetings, small meetings, and on-site office meetings. At the same time, I also conducted on-site inspections of several large projects.

Two weeks later, I suddenly felt so tired. However, my heart was no longer as painful as before. Time and busyness made my pain a thing of the past. From a psychological point of view, I

The method used is self-torture, but this method is really effective.

Secretary Wu came, bringing with him a group of leaders from the Medical University and several division directors. They were more than ten people in a Coaster van.

Prior to this, the Medical University Infrastructure Office and the school office had contacted our municipal government office, health bureau, and civil affairs bureau, and we provided them with relevant information.
To be continued...