057:Silan is critically ill057:Silan is critically ill
This physical examination report clearly stated that the patient only had one kidney.
One kidney.
Because the other kidney was taken out by Silan himself a long time ago and moved into Helianze's body.
No matter how you defend yourself, you cannot hide this indisputable fact.
The fingertips were slightly loosened, and the report fell straight down, like fireworks surging in the darkness, trying their best to bloom in the dark night sky. No matter how beautiful it is, it is just a flash in the pan, fleeting, cannot be caught, and cannot be kept.
"Tell me, is Ning Mo not dead? You are lying to me... Li Xiaochen's recording is lying to me... Li Mingzhe is lying to me..."
Tell me none of this is true.
This face is that of Xu Ningmo, but the soul that lives in the body is Lan Sichen.
Lan Sichen, please teach me, how should I accept such a cruel truth? I always thought that the person I fell in love with was Ning Mo, and the person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with was Ning Mo...
But now?
Tell me, is the person in my heart Ning Mo or you? Who is the person I want to spend my life with?
I hurt and I cried. What I was thinking when I couldn't hold on anymore. All I shouted was Ning Mo. Tell me, where did my Ning Mo go?
"They didn't lie to you...the real Xu Ningmo is...dead."
Xu Ningmo, no, it should be Lan Sichen who pursed his lips and spoke word by word. The last two words were almost squeezed out from between his teeth. He had expected today's situation when he returned home, but he didn't
I thought of it so quickly.
Maybe she was too greedy, thinking that she could spend this long life with her in this capacity. After a few decades, even if she knew the truth, so many years had passed, and maybe she could forgive herself...
It was because she had taken too many chances and never thought that even if she changed her face and changed the identity of the person she trusted the most, the world would not want them to be together.
No one wants them to be together.
It was like a blow to the head, my head was splitting, my chest was punched hard, my heart was in pain, and my face became paler. Before, I had a glimmer of luck in my heart, but now my hope has been completely extinguished.
The real Ning Mo is dead, already dead...
I don't know anything, I don't know anything like a fool.
Si Lan stood up like a wandering soul, turned around numbly, and walked numbly. His empty eyes looked ahead, a dark, cold place where he could not see or touch anything, walking like a blind man.
In this world, there is no distinction between colors and no light.
Lan Sichen raised his head, with tears in his eyes. He couldn't bear it anymore. The cold back made his heart hurt even more. He reached out and wanted to touch her back, but found that his fingers were covered with bright red blood.
Holding a cold scalpel, stained with Si Lan's blood...
The drizzle gradually became heavier, and the heavy rain pattered on the leaves, as if the world had been turned upside down.
Si Lan walked through the long corridor and walked into the rain. The cold rain was biting and painful. Every inch of his body hurt. It hurt so much... His clothes quickly got soaked and they clung to his body snugly.
My pale face was covered with water drops, and I couldn't tell whether it was tears or loss of rain.
Dragging his heavy body forward step by step, he looked confusedly at the front separated by raindrops, but he didn't know where he should go.
No family, no Ning Mo, nothing...
Was Lan Sichen wrong?
He was wrong. He should not have used Ning Mo's identity to come back. He should not have used Ning Mo to mislead and confuse himself...
But even if he is wrong and he deceives himself, how can he blame him and scold him for his deception? This path is his own choice, and even if it is extremely painful, he is asking for it.
Same as heaven
No different than Lan Sichen.
There was a strong smell of blood in his throat. His thin body was crumbling in the light storm. He finally stood firm. Silan had no time to react. A mouthful of bright red blood spurted out and sprinkled on the wet ground. It was washed away by the falling rain.
The blood-stained ground...
It's like washing away all the sins in this city.
Silan at this moment is like a big tree. Even though it looks healthy on the outside, in fact the heart of the tree has been hollowed out and is empty.
A tree cannot live without a heart, let alone a human being.
The helpless exhaustion finally made her unable to take another step, and she suddenly fell down and knelt on the cold, wet ground. She felt no pain, but just clutched her heart tightly.
There is no despair, just no hope.
About, hope for the future.
All the emotions were suppressed in my heart, I didn't say anything, cry or make trouble, and let them stay in my body, tearing myself apart from the inside.
Lan Sichen, the person who should not have been born is not you, but me.
If Kyung-eun and I had not appeared in this world, would things be different now?
There were bright red blood stains at the corners of his mouth, dazzling red, and it was so difficult to breathe. It seemed like something was strangling his neck. He couldn't breathe, and he couldn't even shout, "Help"...
Lan Sichen chased her out and saw her kneeling in the rain from a distance. His heart ached with pain. He walked quickly into the rain and leaned forward to hug Silan who was about to fall.
"As...As..." The low and hoarse voice called her name affectionately and feebly, calling the name that she only dared to call in her heart.
Silan collapsed weakly in his arms, and the rain kept falling, so hard that she could not open her eyes to see clearly the person hugging her. The bitterness was in the cavity, in the heart, and spread in every cell of the body, and the body became stiff.
He couldn't move, he just opened his mouth as hard as he could, and his weak voice penetrated through the rain like nothing.
"Ning Mo...I finally lost...the ability to love."
Sad, desolate, maybe giving up hope.
With his heart tightening, Lan Sichen hugged her tightly, leaving no gap. He wished he could crush her into his own flesh and blood. He shouted over and over again with a choked voice, "As... As... As... As...
...As..."
Each sound is more miserable than the last, and each sound is more powerless...
Si Lan closed his eyes, and his eyelashes wetted by the rain trembled violently, flashing with broken light. It was like a worn-out doll in his arms, fragile and vulnerable.
Jing En's death and the truth about her life experience had already tortured her to exhaustion, while Ning Mo's death and Lan Sichen's concealment finally defeated her last psychological line of defense, completely breaking down and no longer able to be strong.
She couldn't hate Lan Sichen, let alone face the truth in her heart. Everything finally drove her to a desperate situation, from which there was no recovery... no recovery...
Lan Sichen hugged her, feeling that the temperature in his arms was getting lower and lower, even cold, and it felt like he was in hell.
He just wanted to be with her and protect her, but he didn't expect that he was the one who pushed her into such a situation and harmed her in the end.
Not being able to ask for it is painful.
Asking for it is even more difficult.
***
"Doctor, how is her condition?" Lan Sichen, whose clothes were soaked, grabbed the doctor's hand in a panic and asked nervously.
"The patient fainted due to excessive emotion. Now the nurse has changed her into clean clothes, given her nutrient solution to maintain her strength, and allowed her to have a good rest."
Lan Sichen's face was heavy, and the strength of his fingertips tightened. The painful doctor frowned, "She vomited blood more than once."
Thinking of that time, when they got together, Slan also vomited blood like this. That scene still makes people feel frightened... Why did she vomit blood? She was still so young.
"I examined the patient and found that she had had a heart transplant before. This may be one of the reasons. On the other hand, the liver fire invades the stomach. Specifically, it is the internal injury of the seven emotions. The stagnation of liver qi turns into fire, and the liver fire damages the stomach.
collaterals, forcing the blood upward to cause vomiting of blood."
"Seven emotions are internally injured?"
"The seven emotions are joy, anger, worry, thinking, sadness, fear, and fright. They are the mental state of the body. Happiness hurts the liver, anger hurts the liver, sadness hurts the lungs, thinking hurts the spleen, and fear hurts the kidneys." Doctor.
Patiently explain to him in detail, and after a moment of silence, he said: "According to my professional judgment, the patient's mental state is very poor.
, or even her heart has collapsed. When the patient wakes up, it is best not to stimulate her emotions anymore. Not only should she take good care of her body, but she should also be calm, guard against worries, and not have too much mental baggage. It is best.
Arrange for her to see a psychiatrist or arrange for her to see a psychiatrist."
Lan Sichen narrowed his eyes, his gloomy aura was frightening, "You mean, she will have mental problems?"
The doctor nodded, and seeing his solemn look, comforted him: "This is just my speculation. We still need to wait for the patient to wake up before we can make a clear judgment on the specific situation! But you'd better be mentally prepared, even if she wakes up temporarily
Just because it's okay doesn't mean it will be okay in the future."
Lan Sichen's fingers slowly dropped down, leaning lonely on both sides of his body. He looked at Si Lan with his deep eyes, complicated and struggling, regret and guilt trying to bury him.
The heart transplant operation a few years ago had drastically changed her personality; the subsequent deaths of Nai Meng, Xiao Zhe, and even Jing En's affairs, the mystery of her life experience, these things have long been beyond the range of what she can bear in her heart. But
Si Lan has always lived a normal life. He has not gone to extremes in his heart, let alone any depression or abnormality...
Because she has always regarded Xu Ningmo as her salvation, it doesn't matter even if the whole world abandons her, as long as Xu Ningmo is still by her side.
Xu Ningmo was her belief, but now that her belief had collapsed, there was nothing in her heart to support herself.
She doesn't hate herself, so she can't face herself...face the world.
Lan Sichen walked to the hospital bed, knelt on the ground, and held her cold, temperatureless hand. The tears in his eyes fell silently, and his voice trembled, "I'm sorry...I'm sorry..."
.
The person lying on the hospital bed was unresponsive, his eyes were tightly closed, and his eyelashes were curled, as if he would never wake up.