In a certain boys' dormitory, the quiet dormitory seemed empty, but when I took a closer look, I found a boy kneeling in front of the wall.
Thinking about your faults? Is this still popular today?
After taking a closer look, I realized that although the boy was facing the wall, he was not thinking about his fault, but praying.
On the wall facing the boy, there is a fairy family portrait hanging!
Yes, it is indeed a family portrait of gods and goddesses, a combination of Chinese and Western styles. From left to right, they are Tathagata Buddha, Guanyin Bodhisattva, Jade Emperor, Queen Mother, Jesus, Zeus, Hera, Aphrodite...
This family portrait is quite awesome. The creator is either a pervert or a retarded person. However, the boy doesn’t know what his IQ is. He only knows that he happened to pass by a pedestrian overpass and saw a vendor selling three-card tickets for ten yuan.
Posters, he accidentally bought one of Madoka Ozawa, one of Wu Tenglan, and one of Sora Aoi. The vendor also 'accidentally' gave him such a nondescript family portrait!
Yang Xiaole doesn't believe in the luck mentality of not burning incense on a regular basis and just trying to make ends meet. He only believes in the saying that if you seek blessings, God will bless you! And he has always persisted in doing so.
Who is Yang Xiaole? Isn’t he the superstitious man who is facing the wall and praying to God at this moment?
"All the great, invincible, handsome and unrestrained gods! Please give me a girl! For the sake of seeing how sincere I am, all the handsome men and gods, please help me so that I can escape from my depressing single life." After that, Yang Xiaole
He put his hands on the ground, kowtowed a few times, and then said: "Lord Tathagata Buddha, Guanyin Bodhisattva, Jade Emperor, Queen Mother, I have been protected by you great gods. There is no reason for you not to protect me. I am very patriotic and love you."
You gods, my admiration for you is like the endless waves of the Yellow River, please help me, I will never forget it." After saying this, Yang Xiaole kowtowed a few more times.
"Several foreign gods, please help me. As long as I can make my wishes come true, I will kneel down regularly to worship you, honor you, and burn more beautiful girls for you. Great gods, Amen
, Allah, please help me, please! Please again! I think I am in my twenties, but I am still a virgin, so shameful! Dear gods and villains, my requirements are not high, I just want to find someone with a beautiful body and a beautiful figure.
My girlfriend, who is both talented and first-class, please let me take off my virginity so that I won’t be embarrassed in front of the other buddies, please!!”
What's even more amazing is that after Yang Xiaole paid his respects, he stood up from the ground in a carefree manner, took out the white wine he had prepared, unscrewed the lid with great sincerity, and poured a glass in front of each portrait.
After pouring the wine, Yang Xiaole knelt down again and murmured to himself, "God, as long as you help me this time, I will flatter you from now on."
"Call me?" A voice sounded outside the door.
Yang Xiaole was startled, wiped his eyes, and looked around, no one there?
"Did you call me?" the voice sounded again.
The horrified Yang Xiaole whispered, "My name is God."
"I am Shangdi."
"...Can you give me a girl?" Yang Xiaole said weakly.
"Hey, I don't have one yet. I want to give you a girl. I don't have a girl, but I have a few hairs. I'm crazy." Li Shangdi, who was passing by outside, cursed loudly and left.
"…………"
"Bang……"
Just as Yang Xiaole was kneeling down sincerely, the door of the dormitory was kicked open extremely violently. Yang Xiaole, who was kneeling on the ground, jumped in fright and subconsciously jumped up from the ground with agile movements, like a leopard.
"Hey, Third Master, are you praying to God again? Hehe, what's up? Have you got any results today? Third Master, I'm not telling you, you can't rush things like begging for a girlfriend. In my opinion, you might as well ask for advice in the future.
I understand, there is no need to believe in these gods."
Three people came in, and the one walking at the front was a typical Northeastern man, 1.9 meters tall, burly, and walking like a tiger.
The one in the middle is just the opposite. This person's figure can only be described as weak, or to be more direct and exaggerated, it is not an exaggeration to describe him as frail and small. He wears a pair of high-definition myopia glasses on his thin face, and is a typical nerd.
.
The last guy is another contrast. I believe any man will feel inferior and go crazy when he sees him. This guy is 1.8 meters tall, with dignified facial features and eyes like stars. Coupled with his strong body that has been trained for a long time, it makes him
He looked so handsome, suave and majestic.
These three people are all Yang Xiaole's roommates and good brothers in the boys' college for several years. They talk about everything. The Northeastern man in front is named Zhuo Dang.
He is the oldest among them, and the other three call him the boss.
The skinny boy walking in the middle is named Zeng Yin, a local. This guy is thin in stature, but his IQ is inversely proportional to his stature. It is frighteningly high. He is recognized as a military advisor in Room 808.
Zeng Yin is thin in stature but not young in age. He ranks second because he is called ###. Zeng Yin has protested countless times against this title, but every time he succumbs to everyone's fists.
The man walking at the back is named Chen Yang, a native of Hangzhou, a typical playboy and a standard second-generation rich man. What he just said is what he said.
According to incomplete statistics, the women who were deceived by Chen Yang cannot be described as "a", but can be directly described as "a dozen". The family is rich, spends a lot of money, and is handsome. How many women does such a boy have?
Can you escape?
"Third Master, why don't you go out to play with us just to pray to God here?"
Zeng Yin's face was full of doubts. When he saw the portrait on the wall, he had the urge to faint. He secretly thought about who was responsible for this immortal family portrait. It was too powerful, too... thunderous.
After all, only people with high IQs can create such a powerful family portrait. For this, Zeng Yin felt that he was at a disadvantage.
"Hey, that made you laugh."
Yang Xiaole smiled awkwardly, stretched out his hand and scratched his head. His old face was getting hot, and he looked very embarrassed. After all, he was a college student and the future pillar of the country, but he still believed this.
The third master mentioned by Zeng Yin is also our protagonist, Yang Xiaole, a junior student from H province. He has an optimistic personality and average grades. A year ago, he suddenly determined to turn his virginity into a male in college.
He "donated" his body, but in the blink of an eye, he was already in his junior year, and his great and glorious title of "boy" still existed. Seeing that he was about to graduate in more than a year, Yang Xiaole, who was extremely anxious, was finally forced to have no other choice and began to believe in God.
"Xiaosan, if I'm not telling you, can you believe this stuff? Do you really think they will bring you good luck? We don't believe it anyway."
As the boss, Zhuo Dang said that he had doubted more than once, was this mistress still a college student? Such superstition.
Yang Xiaole laughed again, looking even more embarrassed. Facing the three people, he didn't know how to answer, and he had no way of answering. He could only stand and laugh.
"Third Master, why don't you just follow my advice? Which girl do you like? Let me help you." Chen Yang put his arm around Yang Xiaole's shoulders and looked at him with a smirk on his face.
Yang Xiaole rolled his eyes speechlessly and raised his middle finger to Chen Yang, asking him to help? I'm afraid if he helps, he will help the woman in bed. I can't trust this guy.
In the past few years, Yang Xiaole has not found any woman who was targeted by Chen Yang and could escape. Almost every one of them was dealt with by him in the end. Faced with the sugar-coated bullets fired by handsome men, it would be strange for the little girls not to faint.
.
"Third Master, don't be anxious. You have to be like me, like a man. Isn't it a woman? Can't live life without a woman? No, life without a woman is just as wonderful."
Zeng Yin, who is ###, also spoke to comfort Yang Xiaole, and reached out to pat Yang Xiaole's shoulder in the same manner. However, with his condensed body, it still took some effort to reach out and pat Yang Xiaole's shoulder.
"###, why do you think our lives are so miserable?"
Yang Xiaole had a sad face, but in his heart he wanted to laugh but didn't dare. Zeng Yin was only a few months older than him, but in front of him he still wanted to act like an elder brother and care about the younger ones. His appearance was very funny. Yang Xiaole wanted to laugh but didn't dare.
He didn't dare to laugh, especially the sympathetic look in Zeng Yin's eyes under Zeng Yin's thick lenses made Yang Xiaole feel like his stomach was cramping.
"Wrong, I'm different from you. In my eyes, women are just floating clouds, passing by, not worth mentioning. Only the deep brotherhood is what I pursue."
Zeng Yin was quite dissatisfied with Yang Xiaole's words. At this time, he could only see his expression was serious and filled with righteous indignation, almost tearing out his heart and showing it to everyone.
"Pfft..."
Chen Yang suddenly snickered, and at the same time, Yang Xiaole and the boss Zhuo Dang also smiled.
Zeng Yin knew exactly what they were laughing at. He couldn't help but blush, and rolled his eyes under his thick lenses, "Don't laugh. If you laugh again, I'll fall out. We agreed not to mention that matter."
It was okay if he didn't say it, but once he said it, Yang Xiaole and the other three couldn't bear it anymore. They all laughed wildly without any image, standing, sitting or squatting.
The three of them laughed wildly and at the same time they couldn't help but despise Zeng Yin. Damn it, they didn't even think about who went to the police station to take him out. How dare you eat Overlord's meal at such a young age? How dare you go to the lady without giving him money?
court death.
Zeng Yin was so embarrassed that he wanted to find a crack in the ground and crawl into it. That was the biggest stain in his life. It is estimated that these guys will never forget it for the rest of their lives. It was quite a headache.
People who are not romantic spend their youth in vain. There have been times when they were romantic and crazy, but the consequences were very serious. The crazy people went to the police station, and they were embarrassed. My mother was so embarrassed.
"Okay, Man Yuanchun, mine, but I have a request. No one is allowed to mention that matter in the future, otherwise I will fall out with you." Zeng Yin, who thought he was unlucky, said with a grimace.
"###, did we say anything? It seems like we didn't say anything, can't we just smile? Are you too sensitive? Let's go, I happen to be hungry, someone is treating me, don't waste it, the target is full of spring.
"Chen Yang smiled evilly and put his arm around Zeng Yin's shoulders.
"..." Zeng Yin suddenly felt his eyes go black, and all he saw were stars. Damn it, he was shooting himself in the foot.