Bai Ling thought for a while and said: "I'm so afraid of mentioning this, I can't think about it -" She wanted to cry when she thought of these things. I understand, I understand that feeling, but this time, she didn't cry or anything, she was sad.
Inevitable.
"Actually, I was very sorry for you at that time. At that time, I still didn't believe in love, including yours. I didn't really believe in it, you know? We met a lot in society. Five or six years ago before I met you
I don’t really believe in love anymore. During that period of time, I felt very tired and numb. It didn’t matter. I just felt that it didn’t matter what the future was like, what about men, any kind of love, it didn’t exist, it was all fake, so
When I met you, I might not be able to believe it immediately. At that time, I just wanted to make my father happy. I was a very selfish woman, you know? Xiaolin, at that time, I felt that you might just be curious, so - "She
It's okay to be able to speak your heart to me, to be able to tell the truth. This is exactly what I thought at the beginning, maybe that's it.
Later, she got married, for her father. She wanted to find someone to live a good life, even if there was no love, but even if she lived a very regular married life step by step, that was her choice at that time!
I said: "Well, I know, so when you got married later, I understood. It's not that I didn't understand -" She said: "Well, but I had a hunch at the time. I felt that the child was yours, and that the child would be yours after he was born.
Especially like you, especially those eyes. You know that mothers look at their children very carefully. It can be said that they see many microscopic things. I counted the time and it feels like it belongs to you. In fact, I hate those things, I don't like them.
I can't forget you, I can't forget you no matter what. Although it was because of a misunderstanding, I wanted you to be with another woman. I hated you so much, and there was a reason to get back at you, but I couldn't control myself from thinking about you.
I think about you every day. When I think about it the most, I even think about committing suicide. One night, I was there with a fruit knife. I thought, if I cut it off, everything will be over. I don’t want to go anywhere.
After thinking about it, all my worries were gone, and that would be a relief. But do you know? Just when I picked up the knife, I was also drunk and my mind was irrational. At this time, little Karu, he——" Bai Ling said again
Somewhat unbearable, she wiped her eyes and said firmly: "He took small steps, and as soon as he could walk, he wandered to my side. Just when he could talk, she came to me and held me by the hand.
I don’t know how he knew about the knife in his hand, so he climbed onto the sofa, then knelt there, holding my knife tightly with his two small hands. At that time, I looked at him, and he said coldly:
'Baby, if your mother passes away, what will you do in the future? Will you live well? When you grow up in the future, you know that your mother has suffered too much pain and has been tortured by a little man to the point where she can no longer live happily.
This person may be your father. Can you help your mother get revenge? Go and kill that little man. He did this to me. I hate him. My only love was ruined by him. You must help your mother avenge her.
——'He shook his head, and then cried. He was so small, how could he know what I was talking about? Then I hugged him and cried with him. I hugged him and cried for a long time——"
How can you blame me for what happened at that time? It was all just because of her, but she misunderstood me. She didn't understand what I did. She thought I could ignore her life for the sake of love, and I could care less about her life or death.
But how to do it as a man who loves her.
Not to mention that it would just be selling my body, no matter how many things I do, I am willing to do it. Maybe this is the difference between men and women. Men think that these are nothing and will not leave anything in their hearts, while women
But I take these things very seriously and feel that there is something more important than life, and that is love.
Women seem to be born for love. They are too obsessed and infatuated. Love seems to be a lifelong pursuit. Nothing is more important than this.
And men are completely different.
I hugged her quietly and said, "You know what? In fact, I didn't think so much at that time. I just wanted to save you. You were in jail, and I couldn't live a whole day. Thinking about it every second was painful.
I would rather bear that for you, but what do you want me to do?"
Bai Ling hurriedly said: "Xiao Lin, I never told you that I owe you in this life. I used to think that men can't love women, but in this life, I owe you a lot. I think my love is great.
A lot, but one day I finally understood that there is such a man in the world, he loves more than me, he surprised me, I was shocked, you paid too much for me, I really don’t deserve it
You, Xiaolin, the more you treat me like this, the more I want you to be with Yirou, do you understand? It would be great to have you be your mother, I can really do it, I hope you can be with her, her
She is young, beautiful, cute, gentle, and very good to you. Don’t worry about her father. Also, I hope she can give you a child——”
I interrupted her and said: "Bai Ling, don't talk about these anymore. It's so tiring to talk about these. Promise me that we will be good together. Don't talk about anything else. My life with you, this life with you."
Field, if anyone knows, I just want them to know that there is love in this world, and there is true love. However, you should not blame love too much, make things difficult for it, or embarrass it. You must know that this environment is
Here, we are in this environment. This time is not the past, not the past era. In the current era, we have to treat love with another perspective. Who can be innocent? But who is not innocent?
What about? We need to be more tolerant. No one is perfect, so don’t feel how you are in your heart. You are the best. I can see it clearly. I treat women differently from ordinary men, especially beautiful women.
, not to mention beautiful women, even ordinary women, they are all the same. The soul is the most important. I have decided that in the years to come, no matter what happens, no matter what I encounter, as long as I still have the strength, I will
When I'm with you, I have to do one thing. I want to let everyone in the world know that I love you. I want to write a book for you, write a novel, and then publish it on the Internet. I want to
Write about you and let many people know about you——"
Bai Ling hurriedly said: "No, you are not allowed to let many people know about our affairs. Do you want us to write down these things as well? In that case, you will be arrested. This is a very gangster novel.
——" I said with a smile: "It depends on how I write. If I write something that touches people, then there will be nothing wrong with it. Do you understand? I believe that everyone yearns for beauty, and no one does not.
Do you think other people are stupid? Do you think they are not like this? They are very private when they are with the people they love. They can do anything, even better than us. We
What's the matter? We just have a normal love life, and many people are exaggerating it!"
She said curiously: "Then how are you going to write about me? Will you write out all the bad things about me? Xiaolin, can you promise me one thing?"
I said: "What happened? Tell me!"
Bai Ling said: "Can you write me in a more beautiful way, don't write the bad things, and only write the good ones, okay? You can write me to love you more, otherwise people will scold me, for sure
Can talk about me!"
I hesitantly said: "Do you still care? That won't work. I want to write truthfully. The novels written by others are fictional. When I write the novel, I want to pursue truth. I want them to be very moved after reading it.
, can believe in love, can say, it turns out that there is love in this bad woman, then there are more good women, so, I am full of confidence in life——"
Bai Ling almost cried and said: "No, you bad guy, you can't write Bai Ling in a bad way. I want you to write about her like this. Write that she is a particularly kind, beautiful, gentle and passionate woman. Remember, you must
If you want to write that she is very proud, very sexy, and has a good figure, and that she likes you very much from the beginning, she will be cold to you at the beginning. This is indeed how we started, right?"
I thought for a moment and said: "Well, it starts with sex, then moves on to love, to the point where you can't extricate yourself from love, to the end of the world, to the end of the world -"
She pinched me hard and said: "It's not sex, that's you, not me!"
I was laughed at by her, and this conversation made me feel so happy, so happy.