Holding Xiaoxuan in my arms, I thought about why Xiaoxuan said this. I was really afraid that she would be like her mother, who would have a mental breakdown because of emotional matters, go astray, and embark on a path from which she could never come back.
.
In that case, her life may be ruined.
This was something I was particularly afraid of at that time. I hope she won't go the way of her mother.
But as for the future, everything seems to be plunged into a vast unknown.
We spent that week at sea. On the third day, I called Bai Ling and Mao Yan lied to her that I was busy. She didn't believe it and started asking Mao Yan constantly. It was very noisy.
It was amazing, in the end, she stopped fussing and seemed to be in despair. She lay there without saying a word, tired from crying and fussing, just looking at one place.
When I called her, she said softly after receiving the call: "If you want me to die, can you let me go back to China to die?" What did she think I had been lying to her about?
, sent her to the United States, and then I did risky things in the country.
I stopped trying to make her happy and said calmly: "Bai Ling, I'm sorry!"
She remained silent, and after a while she shouted loudly: "I just want you to be well, I just want you to be safe, I just want you to be intact, I just want you to live honestly, you know? I just want these, I just want you
These, I only want these, I only want these—" She cried and made a difficult sound, which she repeated over and over again.
Yes, she only wanted me to live honestly and peacefully. She may have thought that I meant that I had not found the child or something else, and she said this.
This sentence seemed to burst out from the instinct of love. I was so moved by her words that I could no longer say a word and burst into tears.
She didn't speak either.
I don't speak either.
We were speechless. Xiaoxuan was next to me at that time, and she didn't dare to say a word. She just held a tissue and gently wiped my tears.
Standing on the lonely and lost deck, surrounded by the boundless sea, the waves are rolling, and the wind of unknown direction is blowing back and forth. Where am I? Where am I? My chest is tight, and it seems that no matter how cool the wind is,
I can't blow away the dark clouds in my heart.
Maybe as long as she gives me a gentle touch, I can relax, but she gave me tremendous pressure.
I was about to speak when she said, "Tell me, what's going on?" I knew this was what she said after she cheered up. In front of her, I was like a child who had made a mistake, and she was me.
My mother, after she hated her for not fighting, started to think of ways for me to solve the problem.
This is Bai Ling.
I said: "That's it, I -" Then I told her what happened. After I finished, she said: "Don't go back again, you know?"
She didn't blame me too much, she just said this.
I didn't say anything, but she suddenly said: "Did you hear me? Don't go back. Also, when you get to Australia, contact me immediately, and then go to Canada. No, Canada may not be safe anymore.
Go to New Zealand, don’t be busy, let me think--"
From her point of view, she knew the horror of the matter even more. Because she disappeared, she regarded me as a person without much support, and she also understood the power of the Yao family. Now that this matter has happened, Yao Wanshan is destined not to let me go.
He will definitely make me look ugly and won't give up so easily.
I said: "Well, okay, don't worry!"
She hurriedly said: "Yes, I don't need to worry, Xiao Lin, I don't need to worry, but if you don't want us to suffer, you should protect yourself from me and don't let them catch you, you know? You are fine
,Wait for me, I will find a way, I will find a way——"
I hurriedly said: "I don't want you to think of a way, you know? I don't want to cause trouble to you like your father. Just listen to me. Don't think of any nonsense for me. I don't want to think of any way. I can fly away."
, I promise you never to go back to China again, I will listen to you, I will listen to you in everything!"
She said: "Don't worry about me, take care of yourself, you know? I have my own sense of proportion. I know what I should do. I am no longer the same person as before. Xiaolin, I can't leave easily while I'm alive, and I can't let you love me."
For those who have lost you, always remember this sentence, as long as you live well, there is a way for everything, and living is better than anything else!"
I said, "I know. Anyway, you understand what I mean, and I understand what you mean. When two people love each other, love is everything. This is everything. As long as there is love, everything is possible. Do you understand?"
She said: "Xiao Lin, remember what I said and contact me as soon as you get there. I won't do anything. Next, I will recuperate in the United States. Now that I am like this, I can't go anywhere and I can't do anything."
, you have to take good care of yourself and protect yourself, you know?"
I said: "Well, okay, I love you!"
She also said that love encouraged me. That day, I was really uncomfortable. The uncomfortable thing was that she had just had an operation, but I made her endure this, and I had to tell her this, because she would always know it.
This matter has spread throughout the city. Everyone will tell her.
After hanging up the phone, I stood there without saying a word, just looking at the sea quietly.
Xiaoxuan didn't dare to say anything next to me, so she could only stay there quietly.
After a while, I turned around and looked at Xiaoxuan and said: "Xiaoxuan, it's okay. She is just worried. She doesn't blame anything -"
Xiaoxuan didn't speak, holding her hand on the railing, the wind blowing her hair, she kept looking at the sea, I leaned on the railing, lit a cigarette and took a puff and said: "We don't want to go back, we will go to Australia first, and we will see everything later."
!”
Xiaoxuan nodded.
When I turned on the phone, I received a lot of missed calls, the most from Yirou, who made many calls. Looking at the calls from her, I felt a little guilty. But I also thought about the many things I have received over the years.
Didn't her brother suffer enough injuries? He almost had an accident many times, and the physical pain was too much.
I called Yirou.
The phone was not answered, but after a while, a strange phone call came to me. It was from Yirou, and she said eagerly: "Where are you? Where are you now?"
I didn't hide anything from her, I said: "I'm on the ship, leaving China now——"
Yirou hurriedly said: "Listen to me, Jiayi, don't come back for a while, hide away for a while, my dad is crazy, my family is crazy, and my phone may be monitored, so I changed
I’m calling you on my cell phone. You must listen. The whole city is arresting you now. I have returned to Bincheng. I will help you find a way. My brother, he should be fine. He won’t be like that.
Are you with your sister-in-law?"
I said: "Well, Yirou, I'm sorry!"
Yirou cried and said: "It's all my fault. It's my fault. Don't say sorry. You're not wrong. Jiayi, I want to be with you now. I want to be by your side. It's my fault."
I shouldn't have made that phone call to you. It was all my fault. I hurt you. I will find a way. I won't let anything happen to you—"
I said: "Yirou, it's okay, it has nothing to do with you at all. This is a matter between me, your sister-in-law and your brother. Don't think so, work hard and don't spend too much time on this matter.
There is a possibility that I won’t go back to China for the time being, but if I am caught, nothing will happen to me. Don’t be too sad, it’s all doomed—”
Yirou cried again. She cried and said: "If you hadn't saved me, these things wouldn't have happened. It was all me, or me. Why is this happening? If I had left like that, nothing would have happened.
That’s it—”
I said fiercely: "Yirou, listen to me, don't say these things. Listen, if you don't want me to be angry, don't say these things. Do you understand?"