I took a taxi to the place where we used to live. After I got out of the taxi downstairs, I wondered if Xiaoxuan had gone to the hospital, but I saw her car downstairs. She didn't leave, she was still at home.
I walked upstairs, rang the doorbell, and soon heard the voice inside, "Here we come!" The door opened, and I saw Xiaoxuan, holding the door with her hand. She froze when she saw me.
, her eyes looked at me fiercely, and suddenly she slammed the door shut, hard, leaving a crisp sound.
I looked at the door she closed, and I stood there for a while. I continued to ring the doorbell. I felt very uncomfortable, very uncomfortable, and my whole mood was terrible.
After a long time, the door opened again. It was the nanny who opened the door.
After the door opened, I saw Chengcheng, but I didn't see Xiaoxuan. Chengcheng looked at me, frowning and shaking his head. It looked so much like his mother when she was nervous.
They were all trembling and said: "Dad
,Daddy——" He called me, and I squatted down suddenly and hugged me. I was kneeling on the ground. I hugged him and said, "Baby, I'm sorry, daddy is back to see you, baby,
It’s dad’s fault, dad’s fault!”
Chengcheng also cried. He cried and said: "Dad, why don't you want your mother? Your mother loves you very much. She loves you very much. She loves you very much!" Chengcheng is already sensible, and he has been educated in the West. He is very fond of you.
He said this directly and told me urgently that his mother loved me.
I nodded and said, "Well, dad knows, I know, it's all dad's fault. It's dad's fault. Chengcheng, dad will never leave you or abandon you, be good!"
"Then you don't love your mother anymore, but she loves you. Can you love your mother a little bit? Mom doesn't love anyone else. She only loves you. She told me -" My tears kept flowing,
I don’t know how much I shed. My face was covered with tears. I, a man, made that kind of crying sound.
Chengcheng also cried, and he wiped my tears with his little hands.
We hugged each other, and my body trembled. I, Lin Jiayi, have come to this day. I am really a bastard. I deserve this. I asked for it.
There are so many women who love me and my children love me, but I hurt them. I really don’t know what to do?
At this time, I heard Xiaoxuan's voice, and she said: "If you are still a man, don't cry. The child is innocent. I don't like to see my son cry!"
I didn't dare to look at her, so I nodded, my head lowered.
Chengcheng said: "Mom, do you love dad, right? You said you love me, do you love dad, right?"
I couldn't control it. I cried hard little by little. My head was lowered and my tears fell to the ground. Why should I hurt them? God, why should I hurt them?
"Don't cry!" Xiaoxuan also cried. Her voice was a little loud, and she said again: "Are you still a man?" Yes, am I still a man? What kind of man am I?
I slowly stood up, but I still didn't look at Xiaoxuan, and Chengcheng said again: "Mom, you tell me, you speak from your heart!" As soon as I stood up, I suddenly knelt down on Xiaoxuan's side.
In front of me, my legs are not under my control at all,
Like a magnet, it was strongly attracted to the ground and in front of Xiaoxuan. It seemed that God forced me to hold me down and kneel in front of her, to punish me, to forgive my sins, to repay Xiaoxuan for the pain she had suffered day and night, and for what I had done.
The injustice suffered.
When I knelt down in front of her, she pushed me and said, "What are you doing? What are you doing?"
I knelt there and said: "Xiaoxuan, I'm sorry for you, I deserve to die, I deserve to die, Xiaoxuan, Xiaoxuan -" I was speechless.
Xiaoxuan kept crying, but she suddenly listened and began to pull me with her hands and said: "Get up, get up, what does it mean if you kneel down on me? I can't bear it, get up!" I was pulled by her, I stood up quietly. After I stood up, I stood there blankly. I slowly raised my head. Xiaoxuan bit her lip with her teeth. Suddenly she covered her mouth with her hand and looked at me and said, "Go away. Don't come back again." , don't come here again, don't come to see the children again, we will be fine, just go, let's go, okay?" I closed my eyes and shed the last tears, I clenched my fists, I felt very sad I was so stiff and helpless that I couldn't do anything. I couldn't even comfort Xiaoxuan. I wanted to hug her, but I couldn't. I couldn't do anything, nothing.
I stood there quietly, then I lowered my head and said: "Xiaoxuan, I will give you all my money -" As soon as I said that, Xiaoxuan cried and said: "Is your brain broken? Who needs it?" Your money? Don’t look down on our mother and son, okay? We are very good, we are not short of money, you go, go, you know? Yirou got married for you, I can do anything, and so can you It didn't hurt me. From the day I met you, I knew that I could only be like this in this life. I was not very sensible and naive at that time. When I understood things, I was already like this. I couldn't get rid of that. Plant things, Lin Jiayi, don't hurt them anymore, don't hurt the current women anymore, okay?"
I gritted my teeth and nodded, yes, maybe they all hate me.
After standing there for a long time, Chengcheng took my hand and said, "Dad, have you eaten?" I quickly hugged Chengcheng and said, "Well, daddy has eaten, dear, have you eaten?" You know What? How wonderful it is to have a child who loves you and a son who cares about you. How happy and wonderful it is to be a father. How comfortable that feeling is. The feeling of a child loving your father, that is so beautiful. .
Chengcheng said in a low voice: "Dad, mom actually loves you very much. That's how she is. She always doesn't like to talk about what's on her mind. She only talks to me in confusion when she goes to bed at night. She said last night I was talking in my sleep and kept calling your name -" I nodded and said: "Baby, no matter what happens, you have to know that daddy loves you. You will always remember this sentence, I am your daddy and you are mine. Son, no matter what difficulties you encounter, always contact dad. Dad will give you his phone number later and never change it again. Can you call dad at any time?"
"Dad, do you want to leave?" Chengcheng said eagerly.
I said: "I won't leave for now, I won't leave!"
Chengcheng pursed his lips and nodded, saying, "Then you play with me!" I nodded.
I said: "I'm going to see your mother, wait a minute!" He nodded, then stood up and whispered: "Dad, you have to hug your mother!" I smiled, pinched his face and said, "Well , so smart, I will definitely be better than dad in the future!" Chengcheng smiled.
I walked to the door and unscrewed the door. After the door opened, I saw Xiaoxuan sitting in front of the dressing table looking at herself in the mirror. I closed the door gently. She looked at herself in the mirror. She narrowed her eyes and smiled. I walked up to her and said, "Xiaoxuan, when I take this step, I know that from now on, I will no longer be me, but, but do you know? If that person were you, I would do the same thing. ——”
"You, don't say it anymore, don't say it anymore, ask your sister, if she knew, would she be heartbroken? Would she be heartbroken? She kept asking me that day, where were you, and what did you do?
What, ask me about you, you will never know what we are talking about
How are you? Yirou's life is over. My sister is so pitiful. When I went to see her, the guard next to her shed tears when she saw her. She thought you had left, and you will no longer be with her. Do you know? What can I say? I
I lied to her, she could tell at a glance, what can I say?"
Yes, what can we do? As a group of us have reached this day, everything has already surpassed love itself. If it were just love, I would not want to write more about it. Maybe it is not so worthy of touching people, not so great.
But when love begins and ends up in life, in the lives of a group of people, how can you not be moved by that love? How can you not be moved by it?
I said: "I know, it's all my fault, it's all my fault!" It seems that I can only say this sentence, I can only say that everything is my fault, what else can I say
, yes, it’s all my fault, it’s all my fault, wrong, wrong, wrong, it’s all wrong.
She said: "Don't worry, I will be strong and I will take good care of the children. However, I hope you can take time to take care of the children every year. If you are a man, you should do this. After all, you are his."
dad--"
I said: "I know, Xiaoxuan, no matter how uncomfortable I feel, how much I want to be with you and never leave you, but I -" I gasped and felt like I was suffocating. In fact, I wanted them all. How could I
I feel like this, yes, I can't live without them, they make me feel this way, how strange it is, how hard it is for me to understand, I know there are priorities, but when they treat me like this, I
I have sunk, immersed in it and unable to extricate myself.
My hands were shaking. When I was about to touch her, she looked back at me. Her look frightened me and made me stop all my thoughts immediately.
"Is it necessary?" she said.
I nodded, and she stood up and said, "I'm going to the hospital. Have you visited your mother?"
I nodded again.
She said: "Then you play with your child. Also, I don't allow you to take my son to meet other people, and you are not allowed to call other people mother, do you understand?"
I nodded again, and she started to take her bag and walk outside. I wanted to tell her that Xiaomo was there, but what should I say? Should I ask her not to go? She would think too much, so I simply didn’t say anything and she left.
Now, only me and Chengcheng are left.
I sat next to Chengcheng and thought about how Xiaoxuan would feel if she saw Xiaomo in the hospital.