The girl in the front row touched the girl next to her with the knuckle of her right hand.
"Who are you asking me? I'm not a teacher. How do I know?" The girl frowned.
"Hey, don't be like this, what do you think Bei will do?"
"North?" The girl's eyes radiated a strange light.
"You should ask Princess An about this question! Only she knows what Bei will and won't do. Maybe only Princess An can do it..." The girl's eyes dimmed again as she said that, as if she had lost something.
"Hey, Xie Xiaoya, can you be of some use? You've had a crush on him for ten years, you've been giving him things for ten years, you've been writing anonymous letters for ten years, and there's been no response. Why are you so out of your mind!"
The girl lowered her head, her eyes filled with tears.
"Ten years made me get used to it. I got used to working hard for him and getting good grades for him. It's nothing. It's not a big deal. In ten years at most, I will definitely change. Trust me."
The girl wiped her face haphazardly with her sleeve.
I sat in the back, and the girl's words rang in my ears inadvertently, how difficult it is to have a crush on someone for ten years, just like a mother who is always a mother and a father at the same time, always ready for double love.
But she persisted for sixteen years. How much did she have to pay and how much could she gain in sixteen years? What kind of large units can be used to accurately calculate? And how long will it take to complete the calculation?
Things that cannot be repaid in a lifetime are abandoned without hesitation in this materialistic society and thrown into the wild mountains and overgrown weeds, and there is no way to go back even if you want to.
We are an unfilial generation that has killed and destroyed some things.
The layers of ice formed by condensation of water vapor on the glass windows are clustered together, covering the entire glass. It's like three or five people huddled together in winter to keep each other warm.
When interests are aligned, enemies are also friends.
There is a row of deciduous magnolia trees outside the window. The bare branches extend to the mid-air and stop abruptly. The gray-brown bark looks like an old man sitting in a rocking chair. He seems to be leisurely but knows that his life is in danger. He uses his last strength to hold on.
Hold on to the handle, hoping to stay a few seconds longer. In fact, when the power of new life is not enough to withstand the harsh external conditions, you will be pulled down even if you want to fall.
4Memory of Snow
I looked at it, lost in thought.
"Students from Class A, please come to the principal's office immediately."
"Students from Class A, please come to the principal's office immediately."
I came to my senses and ran outside the classroom.
"Xiaoya, I think I know why that country girl can join our class!"
"Yeah! I think it's almost the same!"
"Report."
"Please come in."
I gasped, and puffs of white air rose slowly and then disappeared.
On the swivel chair behind the marble desk, a man wearing a dark black suit sat upright. His hair was neatly combed, with obvious traces of styling oil on it. His thick lips were slightly dried by the wind, and his eyes were full of kindness.
, kept looking at me.
My heart was beating rapidly up and down, and an inexplicable emotion surged upwards.
Dad? What a father looks like in my heart, loving, majestic, and steady.
I was frightened by my bold idea and tried to deny it, but I still felt uneasy like never before, so I lowered my head.
"I am your principal. As a special transfer student like you, the school knows your specific situation."
"The specific situation? Are you talking about the performance in the previous school? I have a portfolio, you can take a look."
"No, the person who transferred you to another school has already told us about your study situation. Now we need to know about your family situation. Your mother, father, etc."
"I have no father! No father!"
I roared almost hysterically. I couldn't calm down. In front of a stranger who I had never met before, I calmly told the fact that I had no father and that my mother was sick. I got up and walked forward. I met Teacher Lin outside the office. She had a smile on her face.
Unreadable feelings.
The wind in Shuofang was very cold, carrying heavy snow and no warmth at all.
I walked quietly on campus alone, leaving traces of snow on my feet. Standing under the magnolia tree, I found a few small green buds popping out of the trunk. It turned out that the new life was also feeling the biting cold wind, not me.
A person, naked in the snow, but I have not formed a monument. I am still an advanced creature, living in this world by walking. I cannot crawl or jump. Even if I sleep in any corner, when I wake up
, nothing has changed, at most things have changed and people have changed.
To me, does the current situation mean things have changed and people have changed?
My mother brought me to this strange city because she was sick. I don't know how she decided to move because she was sick, and why she let me transfer to a good school in this big city.
I have too many unknowns about everything.
My grandma left this snowy world three years ago. I remember she told me that the year I was born, there was an unprecedented heavy snowfall in the south. The uproar of heavy snow was extremely rare. The world covered with snow was so beautiful.
It was so suffocating. Of course, she told me all this. I had never seen snow in my hometown, that pure white thing.
That winter, grandma lay quietly on the wooden board in the lobby, with no breathing, no heartbeat, no chill from the wind, and her eyes were reluctant to close. My mother said that grandma was waiting and looking forward to something, it was snow.
I asked in my heart. Whenever she talked about snow, her eyes would sparkle with yearning. I didn’t know how wonderful that white world was. It wasn’t until after the funeral that my mother said that my grandmother’s hometown was a small town in the south, that I suddenly realized: This is
It is nostalgia, even for a superstitious person.
Grandma is really a superstitious person. Although I can no longer remember the fortune telling and name change, some things in the following years still make me think so.
When I get sick, she will immediately go to Granny Liu next door to take care of the eggs, but my mother will give me medicine as soon as my grandma leaves and wait for her to come back. When she comes back, she always smiles, and she will still do it until I get better.
When I praised Mrs. Liu for getting higher and higher, my mother and I looked at each other and said nothing.
Grandma is gone and no one is used to it. Thinking back to her nagging and worshiping Guanyin, all I feel is a sense of loss. Yes! When something you don’t like but are used to suddenly disappears, you will also be sad.
Sad, my mother was very sad, her appetite decreased, and she lost weight. Later she was diagnosed with the disease, packed her things, and brought me to this big city.
This is how things change and people change.
The only thing that hasn't changed is Dad, the person who has been imagining, sketching, and longing for him since he was sensible, he has never appeared. There is no narration or dubbing for him on the stage, it is just empty, a person who should be the protagonist.
I searched all over the photo albums but couldn't find the person.
Is it really like what others say?
The man disappeared a month after marrying my mother.
He is dead.
He abandoned his mother.
Guesses, countless guesses, I don’t know what the probability is.
My mother never mentioned anything about him. What does silence mean?
Can't forget, is it still the oath of eternal love?
But I was still thinking about him quietly in my heart, secretly drawing the imaginary appearance in a picture album, touching it gently with my hands, and applying it with my face, hoping to be pricked by the beard and give it an itchy feeling.
And these are like proof questions in mathematics. If the hypothesis is not true, the original proposition is not true.
The original proposition is: I,, grew up, without a father.
Tears are like morning dew, they will fall down by themselves without being blown by the wind or touched by hands, drop by drop until they dry up.
5The snow I met
I returned to the classroom of Class A. The second period had already ended. The students in the class gathered together in twos and threes to discuss topics they were passionate about.
I sat in my seat, turned my head habitually, and saw the deciduous magnolia tree. It still stood there peacefully, like an old man guarding a tomb. Time has taken away its tall body and straight waist.
The posture is beautiful, but it cannot take away the firm belief. It does not pursue anything, nor is it nostalgic for anything. It just stands like this, becoming a scenery that cannot sing.
But the moment I turned my head, I saw a tinkling scenery.
He was wearing a white down jacket with a ring of white fluff around his neck. His hair was very black and shiny, as if it was shining, making it difficult to open your eyes. His eyes were looking faintly ahead at the sleeping magnolia tree. Compared with the magnolia tree
, he has not experienced the vicissitudes and maturity of the years, but just looking at it like that, it seems that there are countless notes jumping, a beautiful song.
There were many boys around him, but the faint halo he gave off was darkened. It seemed that someone had deliberately painted his back gray to make him appear abrupt and dazzling.
I watched and made no sound.
"Hey, classmate, are you that pretty?"
"Hey, hey."
Dark shadows flashed before my eyes many times before I took back the rays emitted.
"Hey, new classmate, is that guy that good-looking?"
"Ah? Are you talking to me?"
"Nonsense, I'm not talking to you, are you talking to a ghost?"
"oh!"
I nodded.
"Are you sick? Why are you nodding? Like an idiot!"
"You are really rude, why are you swearing? I think you are right, so why don't you just nod?"
"That's right. I'm not good at anything except my ability to speak accurately, and you have discovered it. But is that Luo Ziqi that good-looking?"
I looked confused.
"Who is Luo Ziqi?"
"He's the handsome guy you're looking at and you don't even know he's a ghost!"
"That boy you're talking about? He's just simply good-looking."
"Simply good-looking? The way he pretends to look like every day can be said to be simply good-looking. He is indeed a country girl I have never seen on the market!"
"Is it that bad?"
I lowered my head and said nothing.
"Hey, you can't bear the blow? What's your name?"
"."
"What a strange name!"
"Everyone says so, so what's your name?"
"See for yourself!"
Gu Mu is also a strange name. When I saw it, I was shocked. I thought it was Gu Mo. They both have the surname Gu. Momo's name has a young and unique girlish flavor, while Gu Mu has a slightly older name.
There seemed to be no connection between them, but they were brought together effortlessly by me.
When Gu Mu raised his head and smiled, showing a row of neat teeth, I instantly saw the shadow of Momo. Momo also smiled stupidly in front of me, showing two small tiger teeth. Momo is actually a
What a beautiful girl! Her smile can melt the cold in winter and make people feel warm.
"Ding..." The school bell rang, interrupting the conversation of all the students. We heard the dissatisfied complaints of the girls and the whistles of the boys who had unfinished business.
Gu Mu sat on the chair on the right, motionless.
"Classmate Gu Mu, class is here, why don't you go and sit down."
"I've already sat down, can't you see it with your big eyes?"
"You're not going to tell me that your seating arrangement is...here, are you?"
I stretched out my hand and pointed to where Gu Mu was sitting next to me.
"Yes!" He nodded impatiently.
School is over, and the students are discussing which restaurant to eat hot pot to warm up to the cold. Some are afraid of getting fat, so they drag another classmate to talk about looking at the new and beautiful scarves from the boutique. The boys put their schoolbags on their shoulders.
They joked with each other about going to play basketball. Everyone had the same purpose: to resist the severe cold.
I packed up the things on the table and put them in my schoolbag one by one. I should go home quickly, my mother must be extremely bored.
",I'll take the first step."
Gu Mu said, zipping up his schoolbag and flying out of the classroom.
"goodbye."
I whispered, if it were in the past, Momo would definitely go to the boutique near the school to see if there were any new products. She would throw her schoolbag to me and ask me to pick it up for her. I would hold it for myself.
When I walked out with my schoolbag, she would also grab her own schoolbag, catch up to me, grab my arm, and then take her schoolbag.
Those days of chatting and laughing were taken away by someone with Guanyin's pure bottle, leaving only clear memories. Memory is a painful thing, scraping with thin bamboo skin on the wall of your heart day after day, time
Not being the best doctor, not only was the wound not healed, but the wound became deeper and deeper, until to a certain extent, the blood flowed like tears.
I packed up my things as quickly as possible and walked out of the classroom.
Oops! My umbrella! I turned around and ran back to the classroom, but I didn’t have it? Could it be that I left it at the door of the office this morning and forgot to take it. I hurried back to the office, but it still wasn’t there? My heart felt like it was being pressed by something, and it felt so heavy that it hurt.
The snow was very heavy and the wind was very strong. My hair was all messed up and my face felt like it had been scratched and it hurt. I looked at the sky with empty eyes. Do I really want to be willing to have only memories left? Is it happy? Next to me
All the classmates held umbrellas and disappeared, but I was the only one who stood motionless.
"Princess An, it's snowing very hard, can you use my umbrella?"
"Sorry, I have an umbrella with me. You can keep it and use it later."
What a beautiful girl, with fair skin, big black wavy hair hanging down to her waist, big eyes, a smile and a pair of small pear holes.
Look at that boy again, he is 1.8 meters tall...
Hey, no, the umbrella in his hand wasn't mine? It was a transparent umbrella, and there was a couple's pendant for Momo and me. I walked up without hesitation.
"Classmate, I'm sorry to bother you, but the umbrella in your hand seems to be mine?"
"Holy shit, you country girl, did you make a mistake? You mean I stole your umbrella!"
"No, I just hope you can see clearly. That umbrella is really mine. There is that hanging on my umbrella..."
I pointed at the couple pendant carefully.
"I have 5.3 eyesight and can see very clearly. Only you can hang things on an umbrella? Can't I? It's true, country girl!"
The boy took a step forward with his schoolbag in hand.
That's the only thing Momo has, no! I have to come back.
I stepped forward, grabbed one end of the umbrella with one hand, and pulled hard. The boy got angry, and when he pulled the umbrella hard and saw no response, he pushed me away with the other hand.
My center of gravity dropped, and my whole body lost balance. I knelt on the ground with one hand on my knees, and ice shards kept drilling in along the gaps between the fibers. When I stabbed the wound I had scratched in the morning, the blood spread and soaked.
After I put on my cotton pants and came out of jeans, I knew I couldn't care about so much anymore.
I stood up with difficulty and moved a small step, but my whole body was suppressed by pain again.
"Can you please return the umbrella to me? It's the only thing my friend has, okay?"
My voice became lower and lower, and I didn't have the energy to catch up with the boy.
The boy walked a few steps, dropped his umbrella, and left.
"I'm really unlucky today. I failed to deliver an umbrella and was pestered by a country girl. Really!"
I was so happy that I wiped my face carelessly with my sleeves and moved towards the umbrella. The distance of a few steps seemed like the end of the world to me now. Those small ice crystals kept running into the wound, and the blood was stained like this.
The road to the end of the world was red. I picked up the umbrella and burst into tears.
It flowed down, but then I laughed again. Momo, do you know why? Because I feel that the umbrella is like protecting you. You must want to reward me with marshmallows! I finally realize that you did it for me and me.
The girls in the next class were in a quarrel. I wrongly blamed you back then.
"Mom, I'm back." I took off my shoes, put on my slippers and went into the house.
"Ai Ai is home, we can start eating soon." It seems that she is no longer sick.
I sat on the sofa and pushed up my pants. My knees were bloody and bloody. The blood had stopped flowing and only occasionally seeped out.
"How could this happen? Why did your knee become like this?" Mom walked out and saw the wound. I was so stupid. I should have gone to my room to get it done!
"I accidentally slipped on the way home. You know, the weather is slippery." I tried to sound calm and true.
"How could Ai'ai be so careless? I'm going to get the medical kit. Your wound must be disinfected and bandaged."
My mother looked for the medicine kit with a worried look on her face. My nose felt sore and my eyes were wet.
"Mom, can I ask a question? I ask carefully.
"Ask."
"Mom, where did the money for our move come from? I know you didn't have much savings during those years of teaching."
"Ai'ai is an obedient child who knows how to think about things, but mom doesn't want you to worry about these problems. Just study hard and don't think about anything else."
"Mom, I'm already this old, my grandma has died, and there are only two of us left. Now you're sick again, you can't just keep it in your heart without telling me anything!"
Mom sat on the sofa and put her hand on mine. I felt the sweat and rising temperature in her palm.
"Mom, just tell me, where do you get the money for moving and changing schools? Everything is so expensive in big cities!", I am so stupid, I should go to my room to get it!
"I accidentally slipped on the way home. You know, the weather is slippery." I tried to sound calm and true.
"How could Ai Ai be so careless? I'm going to get the medical kit. Your wound must be disinfected and bandaged."
My mother looked for the medicine kit with a worried look on her face. My nose felt sore and my eyes were wet.
"Mom, can I ask a question? I ask carefully.
"Ask."
"Mom, where did the money for our move come from? I know you didn't have much savings during those years of teaching."
"Ai'ai is an obedient child who knows how to think about things, but mom doesn't want you to worry about these problems. Just study hard and don't think about anything else."
"Mom, I'm already this old, my grandma has died, and there are only two of us left. Now you're sick again, you can't just keep it in your heart without telling me anything!"
Mom sat on the sofa and put her hand on mine. I felt the sweat and rising temperature in her palm.
"Mom, just tell me, where do you get the money for moving and changing schools? Everything is so expensive in big cities!"