Chapter 73 My Heart Is Small and Can Only Hold One Person
When I found Zhang Youze's location, he was already squatting beside the toilet with a pale face, his eyes slightly closed, and frowning in pain. I walked in slowly, glanced into the toilet, and saw a bunch of
He felt his stomach churn because of the excrement, so he closed the toilet seat, pressed the switch, and went to help Zhang Youze.
According to my idea, Zhang Youze was just having a few drinks with Su Liangwen, and he was not so drunk. He squatted down gently, looked at the pale man next to him, and asked in a low voice: "Director Zhang, are you okay?
?”
Zhang Youze heard my voice, slowly raised his head, glanced at me, and said, "I'm kidding you...I...I'm fine." He stood up as he spoke.
I helped him walk out the door, and after walking a few steps, I walked into the bedroom. The room was extremely clean and tidy. The sheets, pillows, and quilts were all in cool colors, and everything was neatly placed.
I helped Zhang Youze lie down on the bed. His body was just blocking the bed, and his face showed an uncomfortable look.
"Are you okay?"
"It's okay... I'm just a little dizzy..." Zhang Youze replied to me.
"I'll get you a hot towel. Just lie here and don't move." I stood up from the bed and was about to turn around when my wrist was grabbed by Zhang Youze.
His heart beat violently, and the man on the bed said softly: "Don't go, sit down and stay with me."
Seeing Zhang Youze's appearance, I gently took my hand back and said calmly: "So you can't drink."
"Drinking depends on your mood," Zhang Youze frowned and forced an arc at the corner of his mouth, and said, "When I was a child, my father liked to drink, and my mother worked tirelessly to make wine for him. Every time she went to Beijing,
If you look at me, you will always bring me a few bottles, and you won’t get drunk with that kind of wine.”
When I looked at Zhang Youze, it was hard to imagine that he didn't have any airs at this moment. He didn't have any hidden smile on his face, he just looked at me so lightly and talked about his affairs.
"We rarely make our own wine there, but my father likes to eat the persimmons made by my mother the most. Every time the persimmon tree in the yard is full of persimmons, my father will jump up and down happily." Speaking of which, that's still true.
It's a childhood thing.
"Haha, when I was in college, I most hoped to have a house of my own, but after graduation I realized how hard life was. When I went to Beijing for the first time, I only had 300 yuan and a quilt in my hand.
Everything I got during the year was earned with my life..." Zhang Youze didn't look at me, he just lay on the bed quietly and told everything about himself.
"I understand. Look at me now. Although I have never been to the Imperial City, my current life is hard-won for me." I can't help but think of the classmates around me who are going abroad, taking postgraduate entrance examinations, and looking for jobs.
Sighed.
"Duoduo, do you know? My first residence in Beijing was only 40 square meters. As a working-class person, I couldn't afford to pay so much money at once..." Zhang Youze slowly opened his eyes and looked at me.
explain.
I didn't know what he meant when he told me this, so I just said "yes" softly and listened to what he was going to say next.
"At that time, pride and self-esteem were still valuable, but for that house, I still sold my pride and my self-esteem." Zhang Youze's voice had a sense of vicissitudes, as if he was recalling the past.
"I know that sooner or later we will all lose to life," I took a gentle breath and said.
"Duoduo, outsiders see the brilliance about me, the rights and status that I bring to my hands. In fact, they are all obtained by giving up my self-esteem and working hard. They can never imagine the hardship behind success."
I nodded gently and said, "I know, I understand." But I don't know why Zhang Youze suddenly told me this today.
"Duoduo...I'm a little thirsty..." Zhang Youze opened his eyes and looked at me and said.
"Well, wait a minute, I'll pour some water right away." I stood up from the bedside in a hurry, found a cup, poured some warm water, and walked towards the bedroom. After entering the bedroom, I suddenly discovered that Zhang Youze's eyes were staring tightly at him.
staring at me.
He looked at me like this, which made me feel a little uncomfortable, so he whispered, "Try the water temperature and tell me if it's hot."
Zhang Youze took the cup in my hand, and his fingertips touched mine gently. I calmly retracted my hand and said, "I'm going back first, you have a good rest."
"Duoduo..." Zhang Youze stopped me, "I don't mean anything else, it's just... I just feel too lonely."
I felt my heart shake violently. Looking at Zhang Youze's pale face, I walked to his bedside and said, "For the sake of your drunkenness, I will fry an egg for you, otherwise you will definitely feel hungry in the middle of the night."
"
Zhang Youze showed a happy smile on his face and said, "Thank you."
I turned around and walked out of the living room, only to realize that Zhang Youze actually lived in a high-end, well-decorated house. The house was about 130 square meters. Looking out the window, I could see the twinkling lights of Philadelphia's most lively city center.
I understand everything Zhang Youze said, and I finally understand why when I first saw him, he was a gentleman with a sense of alienation. From a poor college student to where he is today step by step, there is always something uncomfortable.
Let's make known choices.
As a friend, the only thing I can do is fry two chopped green onions and eggs to comfort his heart that is wearing a protective mask.
Unfortunately, there were no green onions, so I could only walk to the bedroom with two fried eggs, only to see Zhang Youze fell asleep with his eyes slightly closed, feeling sleepy.
I couldn't bear to disturb him. As soon as I took a step forward, Zhang Youze's voice sounded in my ears again: "Duoduo,"
"I thought you were asleep, but look, it's still hot." I brought the dinner plate in front of him and said, "I've seen this dinner plate in the supermarket. There are more than 100 of them. I couldn't bear to buy it. How about you?
, the cupboards are full, you should feel happy."
Zhang Youze raised the corners of his mouth, took the dinner plate and chopsticks from my hand, and said with a smile: "These kitchen utensils are always welcome to their hostess, you can do whatever you want."
Hostess? I glanced at my face in embarrassment and said, "Wei Liang and I have been together since the first half of the freshman year. In Philadelphia, she is my best sister. I just want to ask, how does Su Liangwen treat her?"
Really?"
Zhang Youze raised his eyes and glanced at me, and said with a smile: "You still need to learn how to change the subject. However, what I can tell you is that when they separate, your friend will get a sum of money that will be enough for her to spend the rest of her life."
money.”
That means Wei Liang will always be known as a mistress?
"Well, thank you. I didn't expect that a small person like me would meet a big person like you, and you would not hesitate to teach me. Thank you very much."
"If you really want to thank me, I don't mind eating two fried eggs every day, haha," Zhang Youze ate big mouthfuls and glanced at me while eating.
"It's getting late, I should go back." I looked at Zhang Youze and said.
"Duoduo, listen to me. I saw your professional skills last time. You can definitely find a more formal job. If you stay in that printing shop, it may affect your career." Zhang Youze put down the dinner plate.
On the bedside table, he looked at me and said seriously.
"I will consider it, thank you."
"Duoduo," Zhang Youze hesitated, "Do you think I am difficult to get along with?"
"No, I think you are quite approachable."
"Then if I treat you in this state, will you feel very stressed?" Zhang Youze looked at me and said word by word.
"Haha, it's me who should be feeling the pressure. How many people want to hug your thighs? I'm the one..."
"You know that's not what I meant," Zhang Youze interrupted me, "Before we met Xia Haoyu, you had a crush on me. If he hadn't come out halfway, would things be different now?"
"Zhang Ju..." I raised my head and looked at him and said with a smile: "There are many things in life that cannot be assumed, just like you chose the life you have now. I am very grateful for the words you warned me about.
,But……"
"Don't say it." Zhang Youze stretched out his hand and made a gesture to interrupt me, "I have always believed that I have enough confidence to express it to you, but... don't reject me now, everything will change, and I will
Waiting for you to change your mind."
I raised my head in confusion, but saw Zhang Youze's firm eyes. He said: "I respect your choice, and I respect my own choice. If you find that Xia Haoyu is not as beautiful as you imagined, I will...
…”
"Thank you. It's time for me to go back. You should go to bed early. I have cooked rice porridge in the microwave on time. I can eat it tomorrow morning. Goodbye." I walked out of the bedroom without looking back and walked quickly towards the door.
Until the elevator door closed, my heartbeat was still beating rapidly.
Scenes related to Zhang Youze appeared in my mind one after another. When we first met, when I returned my bag, when he walked towards me in the cold wind, etc., I always interacted with him on guard.
I got along with him, but I never realized that he always maintained his sincerity in front of me.
But I also understand that my heart is so small and can only hold one person.
Zhang Youze is a good man, but he is not my beloved. I can only bless him and myself.
I looked at the time on my phone and saw that it was already past ten o'clock in the evening. I hurriedly opened the door and walked out of the apartment building. I was faced with a gust of cold wind, which made me feel much better. I smiled excitedly at the sky.
He smiled and prepared to take a taxi back to the community.
But as soon as I took two steps, I saw a figure standing not far away. His hair was shaking in the cold wind, and his eyes met mine, with a look of loss in his eyes.