At my home in Hainan, on the open-air balcony, after putting Fanfan to sleep, I sat alone on the rocking chair, looking at the drizzle of rain falling outside, my eyes blank.
For nearly half a month, I have tried hard again and again and failed again and again, trying to adjust to a good state and trying to grit my teeth and continue living, but the vague shadow of Liu Di pops into my mind all the time.
Humans are complex emotional animals, and their minds are composed of countless emotions. When we enter adulthood, we will actively look for the opposite sex, so falling out of love is inevitable!
Wang Mumu always enlightens everyone like Caesar who has experienced lovelorn: "Don't act like you're going to die, lovelorn! No one has ever failed, so who do you show your donkey face every day?"
Yes, no one has ever failed, but people who are lovelorn always have one thought. Often after separation, they will subconsciously say to themselves, maybe we can still get together. Countless times of enlightenment,
Slowly I passed the difficult period and achieved mental forgetfulness.
But what should I do?
Liu Di is dead.
What reasons can I use to comfort myself and get out of this circle?
A lifelong regret!
It can’t be made up for in a lifetime!
For the rest of my life, I will live with the big hands of guilt pinching my throat!
No one can tell me my pain!
My soul was beaten by the despairing emotions, wandering in the sky tiredly, but with nowhere to rest!
"Snapped!"
I lit a cigarette and looked at the city that had entered midnight. Everything here was silent. The rain washed away the dust in the city. The moon was covered by dark clouds. I was like a tired bird in captivity. I was buried here and died alone here.
.
"Beep bell bell!"
The phone lit up on the desktop, pulling me back from my dazed state. I paused, picked up the phone and picked it up numbly.
"Hello?" my hoarse voice sounded.
"...!" There was unusual silence on the other end of the phone, with no sound at all.
I picked up the phone and looked at the number again. It was a landline number, and the area code was 0434, the area code of SP City.
By this time, I already knew who was calling.
"are you OK?"
"are you OK?"
After a long period of silence, a female voice on the phone and I asked at the same time, followed by another very awkward silence.
"Fanfan...are you okay?" the woman on the phone asked, biting her red lips.
"Already asleep!" I replied as I glanced at Fanfan, who was naked and sleeping soundly inside the floor-to-ceiling window.
"Yeah!" The woman on the other end of the phone didn't seem to know what to say.
"If nothing happens...I'll hang up!" I gritted my teeth and said to the phone with trembling lips. I didn't know how I should face her.
"I thought you would find me, I have been waiting...!"
"If I really want to find you, I must kill Hong Tao first!" My eyes were red and I gritted my teeth.
"For her?" Hong Xin paused and asked in a calm voice.
"She is a woman who does not belong to this circle! If it were not for Hong Tao, she would not have died! Why is Hong Tao involved in every incident? Why?" I asked in a low voice.
"Are you in love with her?" Hong Xin asked again without mentioning Hong Tao.
"...!" I was stunned by the question.
"what about me?"
"I loved you!" I bit my lip, tears flashing down my face.
"But I haven't loved you before, I have always loved you!" Hong Xin stared at her big, lifeless eyes, her white neck was bulging with green blood vessels, she clenched her little fists, and shouted hysterically.
"Then what do you want?" My mind was in confusion.
"...If you ask that, I won't think about anything else...!" Hong Xin's voice became much calmer, but there was no trace of emotion.
"I betrayed you emotionally!" I said slowly.
"Meeting, falling in love, having children, being a single mother, wandering alone in a foreign country, Meng Fei, I, Hong Xin, have given you every first time in my life, but I have never... regretted it. Ever since you drove to save me in that winter.
, from the blues bar, you and I were hungover until dawn... I thought that together with you, I defeated the family, the long period of imprisonment, and the long wait... Until today, I
Suddenly I realized that you and I are not ill-fated, but my wishful thinking... For the rest of my life, I will not live for anyone, only for my son... That's it!" Hong Xin said.
Umbrella, standing next to a magnetic card phone on a certain street in sp, wiping tears from the corners of his eyes, biting his lip and hung up the phone.
A pair of former lovers, or couples, were divided between the north and the south. The rain washed away the silent and cold city, and the sky was covered with dark clouds. They seemed to be echoing each other thousands of miles away.
I looked at the black screen of my mobile phone and had a splitting headache. My eyes started to hurt again. Ever since Liu Di left, for some reason, my eyesight was getting worse and worse, as if I was about to go blind.
...
"Snapped!"
Xinxin pushed open the door of the card phone booth, her cheeks were pale, as if she had lost her soul, and she walked forward numbly. The door was narrow and the umbrella was stuck in the door. Xinxin let go without knowing it, and the umbrella fell to the ground.
"Boom!"
Thunder suddenly broke out in the sky.
"Whoosh!"
The cold rain instantly penetrated Xinxin's clothes. Her two long arms hugged her shoulders. The biting coldness from the inside out seemed to freeze the beating flames.
Tears were streaming from the corners of her eyes, and she walked with difficulty in the storm, like a child who had lost everything and was homeless.
Loneliness does not mean those days when one person has nothing to say, but rather countless people walking and shuttling on the street, but there is no one to talk to.
This is loneliness, which is frightening to the core.
In the past, Hong Xin didn't think that being alone with a birthday cake and two dishes and chopsticks while waiting for me to be released from prison was lonely.
"Bang!"
The door of a Land Rover opened in the distance.
Hong Tao was wearing a half-sleeved T-shirt and carrying a raincoat in his hand. He walked over slowly, wiped the rain off his face, looked at Hong Xin and asked softly: "Why don't you call at home!"
"...I won't fight again!" Xinxin said lightly with her hair stuck to her cold and pale face, looking down at her feet soaked in the rain.
"You still have me, and dad!"
"...Brother, am I really wrong?" Hong Xin's aggrieved voice was so heart-wrenching. She was questioning the past, our past.
"Go home!" Hong Tao sighed, put a raincoat on Hong Xin, put his generous arms around her weak shoulders, and walked towards the Land Rover.