I finally understood the meaning of Xu Ziyang's words that time, "She went to a very far away place, and I can never find her again." It turns out that she is here...
On the tombstone, it clearly says: Yu Qian’s Tomb.
I finally saw the girl's eyes clearly, they were clear and quiet. In the black and white photo, she didn't have short hair. Her soft hair stuck to her cheeks, revealing her broad forehead. Unlike me, who had full bangs at the moment, her chin was slightly more pointed than hers.
Some. Apart from these, she and I are really similar, but the biggest difference is the eyes.
There was a certain calmness and gentleness in her eyes, unlike mine which was ignorant and stupid.
His eyes dropped and he was stunned again. He was so shocked when he saw the name and photo that he didn't pay attention to the name of the person who erected the monument written vertically on the right. It turned out to be: Xu Zijie.
There was a strange fluctuation in my heart. The person who built the tombstone was actually only one word different from my brother. Judging from the words, he should be Xu Ziyang's brother or something. There were also some small words engraved at the bottom of the tombstone. He squinted his eyes carefully.
When I looked at it, I realized it was an epitaph.
This is what it says:
I wish you were the only one in my life, but you didn’t stay and wait. Where should my promise go?
There is soreness in the corners of my eyes, because of the word "only", how many people long for the only one, but their dreams are hard to come true. I think the person who set up the monument must really love the woman under the ground, but why didn't Xu Ziyang set it up instead?
What about the other person?
I turned my head slightly to look at the man next to me. His eyes were fixed on the tombstone, his face was cold and lonely, and unspeakable sadness was spreading wantonly. I finally saw that this man was emotionally fluctuating. He was originally forcibly held hostage.
The anger gradually subsided, maybe he just wanted to bring me over to see if there is indeed such a similar person.
I can't empathize with her. After all, the woman lying inside looks similar to me, but she is not a relative of mine. She will have some sympathy. She must have had a tragic past when she died young.
Xu Ziyang took out a cigarette from his pocket, took one and put it between his lips, but he lit it several times without lighting it. When I looked carefully, I noticed that his hand was shaking slightly. He turned his head and said softly: "Okay.
Can you help me?" The lighter was in my open hand, and I only hesitated for a moment before taking it and lighting his cigarette.
He took several deep breaths before speaking softly: "A car accident claimed her life a year and a half ago. At that time, I was injured in an accident and was still in the hospital bed. When I could get up and go to the ground, she had already been buried, leaving her empty.
Give me this tombstone."
"Do you know how I felt at that time? My whole body was numb, and I couldn't feel any pain, from body to heart. This situation lasted for a long time, and I was panic-stricken and didn't know why things ended up like this. When the pain invaded me,
Like ants biting my heart, I realized that I had lost the most important person in my life."
"If I could start over, I would never do that to her, but God wouldn't give me the chance to start over. It cruelly deprived her and me of all possibilities, leaving me in pain and regret in this world.
.This is a catastrophe of life, both for her and for me."
"Why are you crying?"
My concentrated thoughts slowly turned around, and it took me a moment to realize that the last sentence was not what he was saying to himself, but what he was asking me. When I raised my hand and touched it, the corners of my eyes were moist, there were tears on my face, and I actually cried...
..But why am I crying? Those words just now were a man's confession and a memorial to his lost feelings. What do they have to do with me?
"Can I hug you? Just pretend to be her for a minute."
Before I could respond, a strong breath hit my face. I was already in his arms, hugged tightly by him, whispering softly in my ears: "Qianqian..." There was deep pain in it.
And attachment. I was a little suffocated, the embrace was too tight, especially his breath on my ear, which was indescribably ambiguous.
I wanted to open my mouth to ask him to let go of me, but there was a lump in my throat. The sadness in his body seemed to be transmitted to me through this embrace. I felt my nose became sore again, and I thought uneasily: This man is so terrible, he can actually lead others.
Emotions.
Something cold slipped into my collar, one drop, two drops... He was crying?
When a man sheds tears, is it just that he has not yet reached the point of sadness? Since he is so deeply in love with her, why didn't he cherish her earlier? Now that a cup of loess is buried in the ground, what's the use of talking about regrets?
When the embrace loosened, there was a moment of illusion that the warmth was lost, and he whispered softly: "Sorry, I lost my temper." Except for some traces of water in his eyes, it was not obvious that he had lost his manners just now.
Finally he found his voice: "Uh, um, can we go?" The cemetery is desolate and can always arouse people's sadness, so it is better to leave early. He did not refuse and nodded, "Well, let's go.
Well, I won’t come again in the future.”
I thought for a moment, did he mean... that he would not bring me here again or that he would not come over? I was suspicious and did not ask. This time I walked in front, and he followed me slowly, the sound of footsteps
It was especially clear on the open ground, and it hit my heart every time. I really felt a little panicked in the traffic jam, but I could only suppress it and try to walk as fast as possible.
Finally, when we returned to the car, the assistant saw us approaching and immediately got into the driver's seat and started the car. When the car slowly left the cemetery, I asked: "When will you take me back? Or when we get to the city?"
Just put me down and I'll take the car back to the city."
Despite this inquiry, it is better to do the latter. After what happened just now, I don’t want to get too close to him even more.
But I heard him say: "It's too urgent to rush back now. I'll send you back after my affairs are arranged, tomorrow at the latest." Maybe he was used to giving orders, so he made his own decisions on everything and didn't respect anyone.
Ask others for permission.
After driving into the city, the car made many twists and turns, and finally stopped in front of a hotel. Xu Ziyang sent me to the room all the way, and took something out of his pocket. I looked closely and found that it was my mobile phone. Sure enough, it was on his phone.
Well. After he handed it over, he said: "My number has been entered. If you need anything, please call me. You are also tired, so take a rest first."
After that, he turned around and left without stopping any longer. His attitude didn't seem like he wanted to imprison me on purpose. I looked at my phone and found that it was turned off. After turning it on, I rummaged through it and found that it was indeed in the address book.
I found his name. I checked it in the call log and found that most of the numbers I had stored in it had been dialed. Among them, I set the name of Xie Ya's phone number to "Niuniu" and the name of Xu Jie's phone number to "Old Man".
elder brother".
Although I called him by his first name, I still forgot the name in my mobile phone. The other numbers dialed were the numbers of my colleagues at school, and speaking of which, I didn’t have many people in my address book.
Suddenly, my phone vibrated with an incoming call. It was from Xie Ya. As soon as I picked up the call, I heard a question from the other party: "Ruoruo, I stayed up late at night and you called me to harass me. You didn't say anything, and you woke up Niu Niu.
"
I was speechless. I could only explain with a dry smile that I might have accidentally pressed my phone while sleeping and dialed by mistake. I was scolded by Xie Ya before hanging up. As soon as I put down my phone, the ringing started again. When I looked at the screen, I
I almost want to wail, it’s Xu Jie.
"Ruoruo, are you looking for me in the middle of the night? I don't have my cell phone with me, so I didn't receive it."
I gave it the same excuse, but Xu Jie didn't doubt him, and told me to get some rest and not sleep too late.
When I put down the phone, I had already made up my mind. I waited until the bus started and then dialed the number, "Hello? It's me. Um... I took the bus back by myself and left the room card at the bar.
"
After a moment of silence, the other person said in a cold voice: "I know." Then there was a "beep" sound, and he hung up rudely. I was so angry that I regretted making this call. It was because he was too early.
He brought me here without my consent. I didn't care about him, and he actually showed off to me.
I didn't have a good night's sleep, and I had been riding continuously. By the time the bus arrived in the city, I was already so tired that my back ached. Dragging my body with me, I took a taxi home, fell down on the bed, and fell asleep.
But even though I was extremely tired, I couldn't sleep well. In my dream, the rows of tombstones were always in front of me, as well as the lonely and lonely figures on the back, as well as the words engraved on the tombstones, surrounding me over and over again. When I woke up,
When I came, I felt dizzy and even more uncomfortable than before going to bed.
But the physiological needs had to be met. After hurriedly going to the bathroom, I was also very hungry. Fortunately, I ate some dry food in the car to fill my stomach. Otherwise, the gastritis would definitely relapse. By then, Xu Jie and Xie Yake would have relapsed again.
You have to tell me off.
Sunday passed by in silence, and there was no call from Xu Ziyang, but I had a hunch that things were not over yet. So when I entered the school on Monday, I went to the principal's office and applied to go to the countryside to teach. It was true.
I am worried that one day someone will show up like this again, inexplicably still at home before going to bed, and then wake up somewhere else...
In other words, it's more about my instinctive fear and wanting to escape from what might happen.
The principal had reservations at first and was worried about whether my legs and feet would be affected. I repeatedly assured him that my legs were fine, and finally I got a spot. However, the teaching trip could not happen immediately and had to wait until the formal appointment.
.
During this period, Xu Ziyang did not disappear silently like in the previous month. He occasionally came over as a leader. He was not extravagant, publicized, or deliberate, but he called on time every day in the evening. The time was not too long and he asked some questions.
Just hang up on trivial matters.
When we couldn't avoid meeting him, he was personable and polite. Except for the rudeness during that trip to the cemetery, he never behaved in any way beyond the rules. He never even touched my hand, but he let me
It feels like everything is under attack.
It seemed to gather me invisibly, narrowing the area bit by bit, and then covered the brightness above my head like a dark cloud.
Just when I felt depressed and suffocated, the order to support teaching was finally issued. I packed my bags without hesitation, boarded the plane with a group of colleagues, and started my journey of supporting teaching.
