Judging from Xu Zijie's serious expression, I knew that the two brothers had something to talk about. I stood up and walked out the door, saying, "Go out and get some fresh air. Just look at him."
When I walked out of the ward, I came face to face with a couple who were fellow victims in the car. They were the less injured and they were the ones who later cooperated with the rescue efforts. They smiled and said hello. They walked past me and couldn't help but look back.
Looking at the two people holding each other, they will cherish each other even more after experiencing the disaster of life and death.
But what about Xu Ziyang and I? I can’t tell you how I felt during the past three days. Once I let go of the fear of approaching danger, my heart felt uncomfortable. It felt as if a hundred claws were scratching my heart. Looking at him all day long, those dark eyes always surrounded me.
Looking at me, I feel suffocated. Maybe he and I are like that, we can share hardships, but we can't really come together because the gap between our hearts is too deep.
Looking up at the thousands of miles of clouds, the scenery in the Tibetan area is still beautiful, but it has lost the original appreciation mood. When I returned to the ward, I almost immediately noticed that something was wrong with the atmosphere. Both of their faces were gloomy and condensed, but not
It seemed like we were arguing. I walked into the bathroom calmly and stayed there for a few minutes before I came out. Xu Zijie had already stood up and was waiting by the door.
"Ruoruo, please pack your things and I will make arrangements for discharge. We will return now."
So anxious? But...Xu Ziyang's foot was broken after all. How could he endure such hardship? After Xu Zijie left the house, I walked to the bedside and asked, "What happened to make me rush so quickly?"
go back?"
He didn't say anything, just looked at me with his eyebrows narrowed, the sparks in his eyes flickering out several times, and finally said: "Qianqian, do you really hate me so much that you can't forgive me anymore? In the past few days, you have had a look on your eyebrows.
Tolerance and disgust," he paused and smiled miserably, "How did you and I end up in this situation?"
I frowned, wondering why he suddenly mentioned this. Was it because my irritability was so obvious that he could see it? In fact, sometimes I don’t quite understand whether I am disgusted by him or myself. I feel like a trapped animal.
We were stuck in a difficult situation, unable to extricate ourselves, with no way out. As he asked, how did he and I end up in this situation? Every minute we spent with him was as long as a whip and a torment.
Seeing that I was silent, he smiled even more bleakly, with deep sadness in his eyes, "I should have realized a long time ago that from the moment you left that letter on the computer, you completely no longer wanted me. Later, you said
It's a big lie. When you use the child's affairs to tear out my heart and make me hurt, I should realize how determined you are to push me away. But I don't believe it. I don't believe that there is a woman named Yu Qian in this world. I, Xu Ziyang, can't
If you give me happiness, even if I take it by force, I will keep you by my side.
But this firm belief collapsed layer by layer when I saw your disgusted eyes. Not only that, but the most important thing is that you sit quietly every day, and the unparalleled despair radiates from your body. You are like blooming
Flowers like flowers are slowly withering. The first thing Zijie said to me after you walked out the door was: You are destroying her."
His voice became softer and softer, with sadness and helpless desolation. Is it bad? I asked myself in my heart, but I didn’t have an answer, but I knew that was what Zijie would say. After the car accident, he was more caring than anyone else.
Love and pamper me. The first time you look at me when you walk in the door, the ray of light that passes by makes me feel distressed.
In fact, I often think, if the person I loved was Zijie, would there not be so many entanglements and everything would become simpler? He is the only person who truly allows me, even if he has also caused me harm,
I made up for it later. If I loved him, I would live a more peaceful life and be happier.
But there are no what-ifs in the world. Whether Xu Ziyang is the only one or not, I already love him. It is precisely because I don’t love Zijie that I can easily forgive him. If Xu Ziyang had done those things to make amends, it would be difficult for me to offset the extreme pain and hatred.
It is human nature to be more harsh and unforgiving towards the person you love, and to love and hate completely.
The man who was originally lying on the bed suddenly sat up, took my hand, rubbed the palm lines and then slowly lowered his head, and his cold lips fell on my ring finger. Inexplicably, the coldness penetrated into the skin bit by bit and submerged into the blood vessels.
Then the biting cold was transmitted to the heart through the blood, and the heart began to contract uncontrollably, as if it was premonition of something...
When he raised his head and looked up at me, I felt my heart stop beating, and I read something in his eyes.
"Qianqian, let's break up."
The troubling time and the flow of space suddenly turned into flying smoke. I only felt that my mind was bombarded, leaving only pale colors and strong aurora, and all my thoughts were broken into pieces.
Staring at the still moving lips, recognizing each word, he said: From now on, I will let you go and let you be free.
Freedom? He said he wanted to let me go. Isn't this what I wanted before I left and came to Tibet? So now, I asked for mercy, and I nodded and turned around. This is good, but why is my heart twitching and painful, and my eyesight
Has it become blurry again? I walked out of the ward and thought in confusion. It seems to be a mental problem. Everyone in the world only allows me to betray others and does not allow others to betray me.
Yes, that's the truth. I'm just unwilling to accept it. If I said this and he accepted it, then he wouldn't feel sad. The reason why people are strong is that they can psychologically build and strengthen themselves in adversity.
Comforting myself, but I stopped in this process in vain.
With the clarity in his mind as bright as a flash of light, he turned around and walked into the ward again. Xu Ziyang obviously didn't expect that I would come back again. He couldn't hide his embarrassment in his expression. He stared at me in a daze as I strode up to him. I looked down.
He stared into those deep black eyes, not letting go of any emotion.
I said: "Xu Ziyang, tell the truth, if this is the answer you gave me, then please tell me the truth!"
His pupils shrank sharply, and the black-and-white movie finally fell silent. A familiar look of sadness appeared in the corners of his eyes and brows, "Yu Qian, you want to know the answer? Then let me tell you, Qing Wei is seriously ill, and I can't leave her behind. This
That’s the answer.”
Where I stood, the sunlight outside the window happened to hit half of my body, so I was half immersed in the sunshine and half in the shadows. I had the illusion that hell and the human world were endlessly overlapping. In the fixed frame of the changing and distorted time and space, I
I had an epiphany.
I see.
There is no shallowness, no tenderness, no ruthless words, the truth is really naked and fucking hurtful. Yes, only Xu Ziyang with such a cruel expression is real, he has never changed
However, it should be said that his love for Gu Qingwei was so shocking that it never changed.
I won’t shed any more tears this time, because it doesn’t hurt anymore. When I turned around, I wiped away the tears and grinned with a sarcastic curve. I have long understood that the war between me and Gu Qingwei will never end.
It was one-sided. Before that, I had just taken advantage of Xu Ziyang's guilt and shallow love, and was able to push Gu Qingwei to the seemingly inevitable end, and then like a charity
Leave the person to her.
But how can we have no way to retreat? She, Gu Qingwei, only needs one serious illness and is about to die, and she can defeat Yu Qian and defeat me like a mountain.
If he had known that the final outcome would be like this, how could he give up a woman who had been cherished and cherished for so many years and who had planned everything for her? His love for Gu Qingwei was deep in his bones and mixed with blood.
The foam was rotten, so when the news came that she was seriously ill, he wanted to set me free.
It's just a response to that sentence, he loves her more than he loves me, and I can never be his only one.
The next step was relatively simple. I stood there like a bystander, watching Xu Zijie carry the people into the military vehicle with command and calmness, and then ran back and forth several times. I also brought all the emergency medical supplies with me.
Then they took me and drove away from the hospital. During the whole process, I remained silent, with an indifferent expression on my face, and managed to remain calm.
Xu Zijie's eyes always drifted toward me while driving, filled with worry. The man lying in the back seat of the car was as silent as a shadow from beginning to end, and I half-closed my eyes and fell asleep. The atmosphere in the car was weird and weird.
, I was so stressed that I couldn’t breathe. I regarded this as altitude sickness.
It is rare to go back and forth to Tibetan areas, maybe this is the only time in my life, and I think I will never come again. I have seen the piety and simplicity of Tibetans, marveled at the magnificence of Potala, and then spent the night being chased by thugs, and I almost missed it again.
Being dumped in a deserted place by the owner of a black car, and finally experiencing the disaster of life and death when the car overturned, few people have experienced a more exciting trip to Tibet than me, so it is normal to have altitude sickness in the end, at least I can experience everything.
Just give it a try.
It took more than an hour for Xu Zijie to realize that something was wrong with me. At that time, I could not suppress my shortness of breath, waves of nausea, and chest tightness. When the pill was stuffed into my mouth, I was thinking
What are the symptoms after high fever? I have done this before I decided to come to Tibet. I lowered my eyes and looked at my fingertips. Sure enough, they were already purple. My lips must have been purple too.
A deep voice came from behind: "Qianqian, why didn't you tell me earlier?"
At this time, I didn't even have the strength to raise my eyelids, so I drank several sips of water from Xu Zijie's hand. Then I vaguely felt someone put an oxygen mask on my face, and finally closed my eyes tiredly. I thought,
This is what it feels like to be hypoxic. Oxygen is as important to people as water is to fish. A moment of thinness and sudden loss can be life-threatening.
Before officially falling asleep, a thought came into my mind. Fish are actually better than humans because fish only have a memory of seven seconds. After engraving, they can forget the previous things and just swim around a corner to start over. No.
Like humans, memory is long. Some people and some things cannot be forgotten even if they want to.
I only squinted for a while, and when I woke up, I realized that the car was still in progress. Xu Zijie suddenly noticed that I had woken up, and quickly parked the car on the side of the road. "Ruoruo, do you feel better?" came from behind the car seat.
When the strange movement and breath came closer, I suddenly felt so unfamiliar that my heart felt cold. Not long ago, we were dependent on each other for life and death, carrying him step by step. Now we have become strangers, and I no longer have the strength to look back.
