After closing the door, I leaned against the door panel for a while and touched my lips with my fingers. There was no residual breath there. It was different after all. Whether it was the feeling or the way, if it was...
I forced myself to stop thinking and couldn't think about it any further. I walked into the kitchen, found some dry noodles, and cooked a bowl of noodles. Suddenly I heard music ringing from the living room, turned off the fire and walked out of the kitchen. The ringing didn't seem to be...
After searching around for my cell phone, I found Lin Xiang's black cell phone in the middle of the sofa. The name flashing on it was "Home". It must be his parents calling to remind me. I was thinking about whether to answer it, but I didn't think about it.
The ringing stopped.
I breathed a sigh of relief and saved myself from worrying about it. I had never met his family or even had a phone call, so I was still a little uneasy. Within two minutes, my phone was ringing, and when I picked it up, I heard it was Lin Xiang.
, "Qianqian, did I leave my phone with you?" I glanced at the machine in my hand, "Well, you left it in the gap of the sofa." "Then I'll come back and get it now."
There must be a lot of work calls, so it was urgent, I secretly guessed. Lin Xiang came back very quickly. When I opened the door and handed him the phone, I saw a slight sweat on his forehead and couldn't help but smile: "Why are you in such a hurry?
, the phone won’t run away if it’s left here with me.”
After he took over the machine, he probably felt a little embarrassed and explained: "I have to take minutes of the meeting tonight, and I have to discuss some issues with other doctors." He paused and asked again: "Has anyone hit me?
From the phone?”
"It seems like there's a call from your home. Please answer it quickly."
"Okay, I'll leave now and call you later."
Watching him walk into the elevator, I closed the door, closed my eyes and took a deep breath, controlled my trembling body, and slowly walked back to the sofa to sit down. The cell phone clasped in my palms was already covered with sweat stains.
When the screen is brightened again, it shows a call has been made.
Thinking back to the scene just now, when I stood up, my hand slipped, and Lin Xiang's cell phone rolled to the ground. I was so frightened that I was afraid that he would break his cell phone, so I quickly picked it up and checked it. After checking, I clicked on the recent contacts.
, and one of them is named "Xu". You can't blame me for being sensitive. It's just that the word "Xu" makes me think too much.
When I opened the number, the numbers seemed familiar. I vaguely remembered that my mother had received a silent phone call one night at that time. I couldn’t quite remember the string of numbers, but I felt it vaguely in my heart.
Thinking about the incident during the day and Teacher Chen's situation, I intuitively wanted to press the number to confirm. Then I realized that it was Lin Xiang's mobile phone. I changed my mind and used my own mobile phone to press the eleven numbers. Waiting for the answer.
At times, I was holding my breath, extremely unwilling to believe that this thing was true.
But when the familiar hoarse voice came from far away, I lost my thoughts for a moment. I could only bluntly press the red button and hang up the phone. When facing Lin Xiang, I wanted to blurt out a question several times.
, were all endured. Judging from his anxious look to find his mobile phone, didn't it show everything?
Once you have learned from the past, you will be able to think more coherently about what will happen next. When you were dating Lin Xiang, I once heard him mention that his parents moved from City C to the provincial capital after the year. If you calculate carefully, it was February or March.
Around that time, I returned to my hometown from the Tibetan area. Then, I met Lin Xiang again at the school gate. The coincidence was a bit outrageous. I used to think it was fate.
And that time when we met Xu Ziyang and Gu Qingwei head-on in the hospital, Lin Xiang's instinctive reaction was stiffness and his expression was extremely unnatural. At that time, I just thought that he might know something about my past with that person, so
It's a bit embarrassing. Putting all these together, the facts are basically in front of you.
Apart from man-made things, how could there be so many coincidences in this world?
Pressing the call button again and waiting for the time to connect, I was brewing my emotions, thinking whether I should yell angrily or ask indifferently, how could there be such a person who said to let me go, but at the same time completely manipulated me?
life! Am I unable to escape his spell in this life?
"Hello?" When I heard his voice again, all the anger that had been brewing suddenly disappeared, leaving only deep fatigue, and he asked in a low voice like a wailing beast: "Xu Ziyang, what do you want?"
There was silence on the other end, and his breathing was so shallow that I wondered if he was still listening. I didn't hang up the phone, and leaned on the sofa, thinking to myself, when will this end? I thought I would slowly forget it, and enter the track of ordinary people's lives, and then turn around.
Personally, I found that he was like the person controlling the other end of the string of a kite, always tightening the string loosely and tightly, and trying to arrange where I should fly.
"I do not understand what you are saying."
"Really? I really don't understand? Arrange for Teacher Chen to take care of me nearby at school, and arrange for Lin Xiang to pursue me. What else have you arranged? Or are you still preparing to arrange something? Isn't it you who sent the text message that day? You want me
Why do you want to see you in such a mess? Or are you unwilling to accept it when you see me and Lin Xiang being harmonious and happy, and plan to use a trick to win sympathy? Xu Ziyang, there is no worse man than you in this world."
And this man, whom I once loved to the bone and have never forgotten even now, was so exhausted physically and mentally that I no longer had the strength to scold him. There was another long silence on the other side. After a long time, he spoke, his voice a little hoarse.
: "Qianqian, whether you believe it or not, everything I do is for your own good. I want to do everything I can to fulfill your freedom. It may be the wrong way, but..."
I laughed when I heard that. Even he couldn't explain it. Isn't this just a wrong way? Who would want their life to be arranged and dominated? "Xu Ziyang, please let me go." He said in a humble tone with a bit of pleading.
.
He took two deep breaths before replying with difficulty: "Okay."
I hung up the phone and curled up on the sofa. My whole body felt cold. I had to hug myself tightly to stop shaking. I woke up at midnight with chills and stomachache, and I actually fell asleep lying on the sofa.
In the middle of the night, I walked into the kitchen in a daze. The noodles I had cooked had already been burned in the pot and were cold. What happened later was that I forgot to eat them.
Because I have suffered from gastritis, my stomach has always been very delicate. As long as I eat irregularly or eat irritating things, it will cause stomach pain. I lit a fire and heated the side. No matter how it tasted, I took a few bites at will.
After filling my stomach, I no longer felt sleepy. I walked into the study, opened the drawer, took out the red box, two keys and a Buddhist amulet, and lay quietly inside.
My fingerprints rubbed the lines on it over and over again, and I just sat like this. It was midnight again, and at dawn, I took the box downstairs with me, and then threw it into the trash can. My heart was shaking when I took it off. Finally, I held it tightly.
I fisted my fist and walked firmly towards the school. What I threw away was not the Buddha amulet, but my nostalgia for the past. As long as it remains for one day, it will be a wound in my heart that will never fade away.
The only way to get rid of the curse of being named Xu Ziyang is to put aside everything about him. This is the decision I made after thinking about it for half the night. In fact, this decision hurts like cutting flesh. My heart tightens a little bit, and it hurts so much.
Like a dull knife being sharpened.
When I walked to school, I put on a smile and started my day as if nothing had happened. I went to class, after class, had a meal, and took a lunch break. During this period, I called Lin Xiang at noon, and the two made an appointment to have dinner together in the evening. By the time school was over, he had already
Waiting at the school gate, Teacher Chen said goodbye to me with a knowing smile, and I got into his car.
I went to a restaurant I frequented and sat in the corner by the window. Soon the dishes were served. As usual, Lin Xiang was in charge of adjusting the atmosphere. I smiled and listened to his talk while eating, and I had dinner.
At the end, he took my hand and asked softly: "Qianqian, when are you going to meet my parents?"
My eyes paused on his hand. The finger bones were not slender, but the palm lines in the palm gave people a feeling of generosity, just like the impression he gave me as a whole. I raised my eyes to look at him. He was not particularly handsome, but he had clear outlines.
, after wearing glasses, he looks very gentle, and his eyes are always gentle. Such a man, no matter in terms of appearance, career, or personality, is an ideal partner, and he also meets my standard of being plain.
However, I said to him firmly: "Lin Xiang, I'm sorry."
He was stunned, doubts appearing in his eyes, not knowing what I meant. I smiled slightly, withdrew my hand, put it under the table, and then said seriously: "I don't think I can keep dating you."
"Why?" he asked in disbelief.
"Because I can't continue to be with you. After knowing that Xu Ziyang arranged for you to come to me, I can't hold hands with you or get married as if nothing happened. What I want is a simple relationship.
, there is no calculation, no conspiracy, I just hope that my future partner will be with me because of who I am, not because of other external factors."
Lin Xiang was shocked on the spot. He looked at me with his eyes wide open. I didn't avoid it. I had already understood what was going on. When I saw his expression, I still felt a little sad. During these days, I had the intention to communicate with him.
We walked together with him and tried to accept him little by little, not even rejecting his kiss. My heart took a big step, but in the end it returned to the starting point.
After a long time, he asked with difficulty: "Do you know?"
I nodded, and his expression became more and more gloomy, and then he smiled miserably: "It was my original motives that were not pure, no wonder. I was a little happy to meet you again in the hospital, but then I found out that you and him
While we were still together, I gave up the idea. Later, you asked me to do a small favor and take a long vacation. Although I don't know why, I didn't feel embarrassed, and I also wanted to go out for a walk, so I agreed.
It wasn't until Xu Ziyang came to see me later that I had an inkling that you might have made some fuss about my long vacation. I didn't know where you had gone, so I couldn't tell him anything. I didn't know how long it would take.
, he came to me again. At that time, he was still sitting in a wheelchair. It was said that his leg was broken. He said that he would solve the housing problem for me in the provincial capital so that I could bring my parents over from City C. At that time, I asked
What conditions did he have? He shook his head and said he would come to me when needed.
This delay lasted for more than half a year, until school started in September, and he called. You know what happened next. I sent Xiaozhou to school intentionally to create a chance to reunite with you. Later, I slowly started to date you, and the relationship stabilized.
.I don’t have much contact with him, and I don’t usually see him, so that’s pretty much it.”
It seems like I am telling someone else's story, but I am a participant in this story. How ironic?
