45. The answer from the bottom of my heart 12000 votes
"Ruoruo, I'm not saying this to make you feel guilty, but I want you to understand his mood at this time and don't blame him, okay? That year, I named you Xu Ruo just to make you happy.
To live a peaceful life, maybe find an ordinary person, someone you have never met, then you can be peaceful and happy."
Later, he sent me all the way downstairs to the apartment in the provincial capital, and then wrote me an address and asked me to call him if I had anything to do. Finally, he hugged me and said, "Ruoruo, take care." Just like when we separated at the airport last time.
, but this time it was me watching him leave.
I think I somewhat understand what Zijie means. What he said so much is to tell me not to resent or blame anymore. This time Xu Ziyang has really let me go. He will never hide secretly again.
Interfering with me somewhere. We were both tired of loving each other, so we had to let go of our hands before we could open our mouths to breathe again.
I started living as usual, abandoning all news related to politics. Gradually, I got used to walking in the school alone, used to sorting out everything about myself, used to being alone in an empty room, and used to traveling alone in this university.
city of.
But I am not used to waking up quietly in the dark, and it is very difficult to fall asleep again; I am not used to walking low-key in the crowd, and I am extremely helpless when facing the enthusiasm of others, this other person, including my father.
After that, he often came to me with questions about Yu Le, saying that he wanted to learn some psychological solutions for teenagers from me. It’s pitiful that I’m just a leftover girl who hasn’t gotten married yet. How do I know how to educate rebellious people?
juvenile?
I couldn't bear it anymore, so I growled at him: "Don't come to me again. Yu Le is your son, how can I care about him?" My father looked at me with his eyes wide open, the light in his eyes disappeared little by little, and finally drooped.
He shook his head and said, "I understand, Xiaoqian, I won't bother you again in the future. You... pay more attention to your body, your face looks ugly."
When I turned around and looked in the mirror, I saw that I was as pale as paper, with traces of blue and black under my eye sockets from a sleepless night, and my face wasn't really ugly. Finally, I opened the door to Huifen's office and leaned against the door panel.
, as if struggling to survive: "Huifen, I'm here to find you."
Huifen's door was naturally open to me, but it was difficult for me to open the door to my heart. Several times, Huifen said to me in frustration: "Qianqian, if you don't open that door yourself, no one can help you.
"Every time I ask you anything, you remain silent. I have no way of knowing what the crux is. Forgive me for not being able to read minds."
I was amused by her, thought about it, thought about it, and spent an afternoon telling her everything about me and Xu Ziyang, except for the internal matters related to the Xu family. She finished listening.
Finally, he couldn't help but sigh and said: "I really didn't realize that there is a giant beast hidden in your heart."
I raised my eyebrows and asked her, "How should I treat my situation?"
"It can't be cured." She concluded, and when I stared at her, she smiled and said: "Actually, you are a very powerful person. This strength does not lie in your person, but in your psychological endurance. How can you be in the drama?"
You can repair yourself after a trauma and still maintain your original intention. Every time, you are healing the wounds in your heart in your own way. The occasional confusion is just a temporary predicament, but you can come out of it correctly."
"According to what you say, I don't need to find you at all?"
"No, if you don't come to me and tell me everything, how can you open your heart and see what you want?"
"I don't understand." Are all psychologists' speeches so profound? I was slightly impatient, even though it was Huifen in front of me, and her confident smile made me feel very stupid.
"Okay, let me be clear." Huifen raised her hands in surrender, "Let me ask you, after regaining your freedom, no one will restrain you or participate in your life. Do you feel relieved?"
Shaking my head, I felt more and more suffocated.
"In the past nearly two months, have you paid attention to the handsome man next to you and prepared to start an ordinary life?"
I shook my head again. Apart from the married people around me, there were also people with girlfriends, and none of them were handsome.
Yes, not being handsome is the key.
"The last question, do you still love him?"
This time I didn’t shake my head again, but looked blankly. Do you love him? To love him or not to love him seemed to be a simple multiple-choice question, but I couldn’t make a choice. Huifen shook her head with a smile: “Okay, you
His expression has told me that you love him. You can't live without him at all. Your eyebrows, your eyes, and your heart are all thinking about him. In this case, why don't you go find him?"
"Looking for him? Can I? But he said to me..."
"You agreed?"
I...that situation is not something I can decide whether I agree or disagree.
Huifen said with relief: "Go back and think about it carefully. Taking a step back will open up the world, but occasionally if you take that step, maybe it will be a different blue sky. Qianqian, in fact, you are very smart, but you are blinded by the pain.
So you can't see the essence of the matter. Carefully recall the situation when you were separated and look for some overlooked traces. Maybe you will find something else."
The result of Huifen's cryptic words was that I had insomnia again. I lay on the bed and looked at the ceiling above my head, thinking about those things over and over again. Xiaobai groaned under the bed, and I got up and got out of bed.
I held it in my arms and temporarily left it in a pet club for three days during my trip to City C. When I picked it up, it looked pitiful and pitiful.
"Xiaobai, Huifen said that I overlooked certain traces, what are they?" Xiaobai naturally would not answer me, but just put his nose into my hand, sniffing and sniffing, and suddenly a flash of lightning flashed in his head,
What hits home.
Zijie’s words! Those words he said on the way back to the car. If he really wanted me to live a peaceful life, he would not have told me those things and let me experience the pressure and pain Xu Ziyang suffered. These things he
I will keep it a secret. Everything I say is explaining to Xu Ziyang and hinting at some information to me.
I hurriedly found my phone and wanted to dial, but when I saw the time was two o'clock in the morning, I had to give up. I kept my eyes open until dawn, and recalled the scene when Xu Ziyang told me to let go that day over and over again, not letting go of any detail, and I became more and more sure of something.
He estimated the time to call Zijie, but his mobile phone was turned off. He hesitated and dialed the familiar eleven numbers, but what he got was that the dialed number had been deactivated. Feeling desolate, he did
It's really thorough.
I was restless at work all day. I made many phone calls to Zijie during get out of class time, but they were all turned off. I couldn't bear it any longer, so I asked for leave from the principal and took a taxi to the government agency, but where could I find it? He went to inquire about the door, but stood outside the door and could only wait. He waited until dark and still didn't see his figure.
When I got home, I went to search for recent news. I read them one by one, but there was no relevant report. The next day, I took the morning off and ran to wait outside the government agency early. I didn't wait for Xu Ziyang, but I did.
Another person, Han Luo.
He was stunned for a moment when he saw me, raised his hand to look at the time on his watch, and then walked towards me.
I asked straight to the point: "Can you help me find Xu Ziyang?"
After hesitating for two seconds, he said with difficulty: "I am no longer Mr. Xu's assistant." This answer surprised me, but when I looked back and thought about it, I really didn't see him appearing next to Xu Ziyang during that time.
"After the secretary's accident, I was transferred. Now I am just a small civil servant."
"Then can you see him? If you can see him, please give me a message and say that I have something to see him."
Han Luo smiled bitterly and shook his head, throwing a bomb: "Don't you know he is no longer here?"
I was stunned, "Where is he if he's not here?" I didn't understand what he meant for a moment. This is the only government agency I know about. Are there any other branches?
"He resigned a few days ago. It is said that he went back to City C and never came back to take up the post. I am currently in a low position and can't ask where he is. He may have been transferred to another province."
The trip Han Luo mentioned about going back to City C was probably to send Xu's father back, and then the old man's death happened. But, after that, he didn't come back... I thought what Zijie said so much meant that Xu Ziyang would
They will make a comeback at all costs, vowing to defeat those who have framed their Xu family for injustice. Especially Zijie's eyes, apart from the deep pain, are also burning with anger. They cannot let go of the fact that the old man was forced to death.
But now Han Luo says that he has not come back. Am I wrong?
What Gu Qingwei said is right. I really don’t know him well enough. His hidden thoughts are so deep and deep that I can’t figure them out. Often it’s like that on the surface, but there’s another possibility behind the scenes. Just now
I figured out that he might be trying to get to the top by any means necessary, including a possible so-called political marriage, so he decided to let me go again.
But when he turned around, he found that this was not the case at all. He had even withdrawn from the city's political horizons. So where did he go?
After calling all the possible phone numbers where I could find him, I finally had to accept the fact that he was indeed not in this city, and I had no way of getting news about him. Although Mrs. Xu answered my call,
He said to me with great helplessness: "Yu Qian, if you love him, don't look for him."
I don’t understand, why do you want to let go when you still love me?
During the weekend, I took Xiaobai to Huifen for foster care. I originally wanted to put him in the care of a pet club, but he was extremely reactive and had to be taken to Huifen because she also had a dog of the same species.
Before leaving, Huifen patted me on the shoulder and said, "Go and find the answer in your heart."
I took a ride to the city where Zijie was in the military region. His cell phone couldn't be reached, but he left me his address. Everyone in the world would refuse me the answer, but he wouldn't. He has been giving me hints from the beginning.
, pointed me in the direction. It seemed that I had anticipated this day for a long time, so I wrote down the address before leaving.
