30.Chapter 30 Who cares whether the hero is a human or a cucumber
"You are really good at making people happy, but it's a pity that this is the 21st century, not the Tang Dynasty."
Le Youyou knew that this poem came from Bai Juyi's "Song of Everlasting Sorrow". It was obvious that Li Mengnan was using Yang Yuhuan as an example to compare with it. Although it was just a word of comfort, he couldn't help but feel happy.
She could hardly remember the last time someone complimented her on her beauty. It seemed to be a birthday when she was eight or nine years old.
"Don't be happy with things, don't be sad with yourself. The most important thing in life is to be yourself. If you blindly cater to other people's opinions, what's the point of living?"
Li Mengnan said this not against his will. Although Le Youyou is fatter, she is actually very good-looking, especially her facial features are quite good. If she can lose thirty pounds, she will definitely be a school belle-level beauty. She is probably better than Minnie.
Not to mention too much.
Le Youyou smiled noncommittally. She liked Li Mengnan's free and easy attitude towards life that seemed to be always optimistic.
"No!" Le Youyou suddenly remembered that this was not what he originally wanted to ask, and was inexplicably diverted from the topic by Li Mengnan's rambling, "Aren't you drunk? Why do you look more energetic than me?"
"Don't worry about the details." Li Mengnan picked his ears nonchalantly.
"This is the main part of the problem, right?"
Le Youyou rolled his eyes, very dissatisfied with Li Mengnan's perfunctory attitude.
"Okay." Li Mengnan shrugged his shoulders indifferently, "I didn't drink at all, I was just pretending to be drunk... You can't help yourself when you are in the world, you know."
"You didn't drink? But I heard that you drank five bottles of liquor?"
Le Youyou looked at Li Mengnan puzzledly. Although there is indeed talk of giftedness in this world, people all have their limits. No matter how good you drink, you can't drink five kilograms of white wine like a normal person. You have to drink as much as you want.
Come on.
"Are you sure you want to know?"
Li Mengnan patted his stomach, and suddenly opened his mouth and spit out a round, bulging, translucent object like a balloon. Then he turned upside down on the bench, and the balloon-like object exposed near his mouth also expanded rapidly, and finally turned into a
A volleyball-sized ball fell from Li Mengnan's mouth.
It was filled with a clear, watery liquid that bounced up and down from time to time under the influence of gravity, like a water balloon played by children. But it was a condom, and you could even see circles of threads on the outside.
"The five bottles of wine are here, do you want to check them?"
There was a lot of space in his stomach, and Li Mengnan immediately felt a lot more comfortable. He had long wanted to vomit this thing out, but he had never had the chance before due to Minnie's presence.
"..." Le Youyou stared at Li Mengnan as if he had seen a ghost. It took him a long time to regain his language skills and said in disbelief: "Are you a cow? Why do you bring rumination? And how did this wine get here?"
Li Mengnan took out a condom from his wallet, tore open the package and stuffed it into his mouth. He casually took out a half-drunk bottle of mineral water from Le Youyou's bath basket, "Just like this, swallow the condom first.
Then pour the water in, tie a knot, and finally spit it out..."
Li Mengnan opened his mouth again, and a fist-sized "water balloon" fell to the ground, bounced a few times and rolled to Le Youyou's feet.
"Look, it's very simple."
"It's not simple at all, okay!"
Le Youyou was really speechless. What kind of weird skills did Li Mengnan know... Well, at least he did explain the whereabouts of the five bottles of wine.
Li Mengnan felt that he was wronged. This skill of swallowing foreign objects was simply a skill that made perfect with practice. Among the many compulsory skills for a magician, it was definitely the easiest one. It really had no technical content at all.
…
After parting ways with Le Youyou in front of the dormitory building, Li Mengnan went upstairs humming an ecstatic ditty, rocking one step at a time, looking extremely coquettish.
Pushing the door open, Li Mengnan's eyes were almost blinded by the shining white tendons.
"Hey? Wukong?"
"Hey? Senior brother?"
Hearing someone entering the room, the three naked men stacked on the bed turned their heads in unison, and three sausages hidden in the grass were thrown over, large and small, swaying in the wind.
Li Mengnan calmly took out his cell phone and clicked a button, then took a step back and closed the door.
"Wait! No, senior brother!"
"Wukong, show mercy!"
Only then did the three naked animals react. They jumped up from the bed as if their buttocks were on fire. They scrambled out of the room and dragged Li Mengnan back from outside.
"You mean, you guys were just grabbing a USB flash drive when you were so passionate about it?"
A few minutes later, Li Mengnan extracted the whole story from the three people's explanations.
"This is not an ordinary USB flash drive, this is a gentleman's USB flash drive." Zhao Yingjun, a fat otaku wearing floral pants with a cartoon girl on it, emphasized seriously.
Li Mengnan, who occasionally hangs out in some welfare forums, is no stranger to the word gentleman.
Generally speaking, a gentleman is broadly defined as a pervert.
But perverts also have their own beliefs, and there is no limit to how far they can pervert.
Gentlemen, on the other hand, do not have this belief, and the realm of perversion they reach has reached an extremely high level. They despise perverts, hooligans, and even more than the diaosi group who have no connection with women.
Of course, it's not because they are so elegant, but they are thinking in their hearts, "Oh, let me go, you are only so good. Look, you work three shifts a day. Learn from it~ Oh, I forgot, you guys
I don’t even have the ability to learn, I’m sorry,” and continued to despise these people.
In the eyes of outsiders, it is because of their kind nature that they reject the behavior of these people, but in fact they just despise why they are so good. This kind of human-faced beast-like heart is just disguised by pretense.
At the end of the popular science time, Li Mengnan was inexplicably surprised: "I'll go! So cruel? Are the 8 G's in it full of benefits?"
"Although it's not a hit, it's not far away..." Liang Sanbo shook his head and said.
Li Mengnan suddenly became energetic. He stepped on the bench and stood on the railing to point at the mountains and rivers. He said with joy, "What are you waiting for? It's better to have fun alone than to have fun together! Second Junior Brother, quickly bring your demon mirror. We brothers will work together to collect it."
Got the female enchantress here..."
Liang Sanbo locked the door, Gao Dingtian moved the tables, chairs and benches, Zhao Yingjun connected the USB flash drive to his laptop, and the four of them clicked on the video player with an excitement comparable to that of a pilgrim.
This gentleman is indeed very kind. There is no long and boring foreplay, no commercial breaks, and he goes straight to the subject as soon as the screen lights up. There is smacking on the top and sex on the bottom. It is a complete domestic high-definition infantry film, and the heroine's face is perfectly clear.
, there will never be any messy masks to spoil the scenery.
Everyone in dormitory 302 was moved to tears - this is the proper conscience of the industry!
As for the minor issue of the male protagonist never showing his face in the film, it was selectively ignored.
Just kidding, it’s not a Bangzi idol drama. It’s a love action movie with a simple and compact plot. As long as it has a heroine, who cares whether the hero is a human or a cucumber? “You are really good at making people happy, but it’s a pity that this is twenty
The first century was not the Tang Dynasty."
Le Youyou knew that this poem came from Bai Juyi's "Song of Everlasting Sorrow". It was obvious that Li Mengnan was using Yang Yuhuan as an example to compare with it. Although it was just a word of comfort, he couldn't help but feel happy.
She could hardly remember the last time someone complimented her on her beauty. It seemed to be a birthday when she was eight or nine years old.
"Don't be happy with things, don't be sad with yourself. The most important thing in life is to be yourself. If you blindly cater to other people's opinions, what's the point of living?"
Li Mengnan said this not against his will. Although Le Youyou is fatter, she is actually very good-looking, especially her facial features are quite good. If she can lose thirty pounds, she will definitely be a school belle-level beauty. She is probably better than Minnie.
Not to mention too much.
Le Youyou smiled noncommittally. She liked Li Mengnan's free and easy attitude towards life that seemed to be always optimistic.
"No!" Le Youyou suddenly remembered that this was not what he originally wanted to ask, and was inexplicably diverted from the topic by Li Mengnan's rambling, "Aren't you drunk? Why do you look more energetic than me?"
"Don't worry about the details." Li Mengnan picked his ears nonchalantly.
"This is the main part of the problem, right?"
Le Youyou rolled his eyes, very dissatisfied with Li Mengnan's perfunctory attitude.
"Okay." Li Mengnan shrugged his shoulders indifferently, "I didn't drink at all, I was just pretending to be drunk... You can't help yourself when you are in the world, you know."
"You didn't drink? But I heard that you drank five bottles of liquor?"
Le Youyou looked at Li Mengnan puzzledly. Although there is indeed talk of giftedness in this world, people all have their limits. No matter how good you drink, you can't drink five kilograms of white wine like a normal person. You have to drink as much as you want.
Come on.
"Are you sure you want to know?"
Li Mengnan patted his stomach, and suddenly opened his mouth and spit out a round, bulging, translucent object like a balloon. Then he turned upside down on the bench, and the balloon-like object exposed near his mouth also expanded rapidly, and finally turned into a
A volleyball-sized ball fell from Li Mengnan's mouth.
It was filled with a clear, watery liquid that bounced up and down from time to time under the influence of gravity, like a water balloon played by children. But it was a condom, and you could even see circles of threads on the outside.
"The five bottles of wine are here, do you want to check them?"
There was a lot of space in his stomach, and Li Mengnan immediately felt a lot more comfortable. He had long wanted to vomit this thing out, but he had never had the chance before due to Minnie's presence.
"..." Le Youyou stared at Li Mengnan as if he had seen a ghost. It took him a long time to regain his language skills and said in disbelief: "Are you a cow? Why do you bring rumination? And how did this wine get here?"
Li Mengnan took out a condom from his wallet, tore open the package and stuffed it into his mouth. He casually took out a half-drunk bottle of mineral water from Le Youyou's bath basket, "Just like this, swallow the condom first.
Then pour the water in, tie a knot, and finally spit it out..."
Li Mengnan opened his mouth again, and a fist-sized "water balloon" fell to the ground, bounced a few times and rolled to Le Youyou's feet.
"Look, it's very simple."
"It's not simple at all, okay!"
Le Youyou was really speechless. What kind of weird skills did Li Mengnan know... Well, at least he did explain the whereabouts of the five bottles of wine.
Li Mengnan felt that he was wronged. This skill of swallowing foreign objects was simply a skill that made perfect with practice. Among the many compulsory skills for a magician, it was definitely the easiest one. It really had no technical content at all.
…
After parting ways with Le Youyou in front of the dormitory building, Li Mengnan went upstairs humming an ecstatic ditty, rocking one step at a time, looking extremely coquettish.
Pushing the door open, Li Mengnan's eyes were almost blinded by the shining white tendons.
"Hey? Wukong?"
"Hey? Senior brother?"
Hearing someone entering the room, the three naked men stacked on the bed turned their heads in unison, and three sausages hidden in the grass were thrown over, large and small, swaying in the wind.
Li Mengnan calmly took out his cell phone and clicked a button, then took a step back and closed the door.
"Wait! No, senior brother!"
"Wukong, show mercy!"
Only then did the three naked animals react. They jumped up from the bed as if their buttocks were on fire. They scrambled out of the room and dragged Li Mengnan back from outside.
"You mean, you guys were just grabbing a USB flash drive when you were so passionate about it?"
A few minutes later, Li Mengnan extracted the whole story from the three people's explanations.
"This is not an ordinary USB flash drive, this is a gentleman's USB flash drive." Zhao Yingjun, a fat otaku wearing floral pants with a cartoon girl on it, emphasized seriously.
Li Mengnan, who occasionally hangs out in some welfare forums, is no stranger to the word gentleman.
Generally speaking, a gentleman is broadly defined as a pervert.
But perverts also have their own beliefs, and there is no limit to how far they can pervert.
Gentlemen, on the other hand, do not have this belief, and the realm of perversion they reach has reached an extremely high level. They despise perverts, hooligans, and even more than the diaosi group who have no connection with women.
Of course, it's not because they are so elegant, but they are thinking in their hearts, "Oh, let me go, you are only so good. Look, you work three shifts a day. Learn from it~ Oh, I forgot, you guys
I don’t even have the ability to learn, I’m sorry,” and continued to despise these people.
In the eyes of outsiders, it is because of their kind nature that they reject the behavior of these people, but in fact they just despise why they are so good. This kind of human-faced beast-like heart is just disguised by pretense.
At the end of the popular science time, Li Mengnan was inexplicably surprised: "I'll go! So cruel? Are the 8 G's in it full of benefits?"
"Although it's not a hit, it's not far away..." Liang Sanbo shook his head and said.
Li Mengnan suddenly became energetic. He stepped on the bench and stood on the railing to point at the mountains and rivers. He said with joy, "What are you waiting for? It's better to have fun alone than to have fun together! Second Junior Brother, quickly bring your demon mirror. We brothers will work together to collect it."
Got the female enchantress here..."
Liang Sanbo locked the door, Gao Dingtian moved the tables, chairs and benches, Zhao Yingjun connected the USB flash drive to his laptop, and the four of them clicked on the video player with an excitement comparable to that of a pilgrim.
This gentleman is indeed very kind. There is no long and boring foreplay, no commercial breaks, and he goes straight to the subject as soon as the screen lights up. There is smacking on the top and sex on the bottom. It is a complete domestic high-definition infantry film, and the heroine's face is perfectly clear.
, there will never be any messy masks to spoil the scenery.
Everyone in dormitory 302 was moved to tears - this is the proper conscience of the industry!
As for the minor issue of the male protagonist never showing his face in the film, it was selectively ignored.
Just kidding, it’s not a Bangzi idol drama. It’s a love action movie with a simple and compact plot. As long as it has a heroine, who cares whether the hero is a human or a cucumber?