This was my first time killing someone, and even though I didn't feel the pleasure of revenge, I don't regret it.
He Yi almost cost Mu Yuxiu his life. He made Mu Yuxiu suffer too much, and I must let him repay it.
I took the ice water You Nan handed me and drank it in one gulp. I sat there and stared at them as they took away He Yi's body. When I saw the blood on the floor, I thought again of the scene where Mu Yuxiu committed suicide.
The severe pain in my heart overshadowed the guilt I felt after killing someone.
It turns out that killing someone is so simple, and the few right-hand assistants I have trained around me will handle everything for me.
I don't need to take legal responsibility.
I got up and walked upstairs. After I came out of the bathroom, I called Secretary Bi. Secretary Bi said that when Mr. Mu woke up, he found that I was missing. Except for scolding her with a dark face, everything else was normal.
.
You Nan knocked on the door outside, and when she came in, she told me that Mu Yuxiu had sent 0 plush toys and 100 bouquets of roses.
I suddenly had a headache. In addition, I had been tortured by Mu Yuxiu all night last night and had just killed another person. I felt exhausted. I took the calendar and drew a line on it. Then I lay back on the bed and hugged the bed.
The stuffed bear on his head closed his eyes and fell asleep.
Day 376.
***
Because my heart is not good, I long for smooth sailing more than ordinary people. All I pursue in my life is peace and stability.
Just like the time when I lived with Mu Yuxiu in a small apartment, I would come home after work, buy groceries, cook, wait for him to come back for dinner, linger with him before going to bed, and lie on his chest when I wake up in the morning.
above, looking at his handsome face in the morning light... Day after day, year after year, although this kind of life is dull, it is the greatest satisfaction and happiness in my life.
However, everything changed later, or to be more precise, I was still too naive. I wanted to be his little woman and stick to a city with only the two of us, but I always forgot about the people living in his kind of environment.
A man, with his achievements and status, his life is destined to be extraordinary. His world is full of blood and fighting.
Many times, no matter what path a person chooses, it is too difficult to turn back. For example, Mu Yuxiu shoulders revenge and family mission, Sheng Qizhou pursues power, fame and fortune, and what about me?
From the age of 17 to 24, for seven years, I persisted on the road of loving Mu Yuxiu, no matter the ups and downs, the cold weather, or the long journey, until the end of my life.
So even though I had retreated and given up countless times, and faced countless estrangements and conspiracies, misunderstandings and injuries, I finally got through it until I encountered an unbearable burden in my life.
From the beginning of Shen Du to the time when I lost my first child with Mu Yuxiu and Mu Yuxiu wanted to kill Lin Huisu, I finally felt exhausted.
It's not that I don't love anymore, but I started to question whether my persistence was wrong. Mu Yuxiu gave up too many things that originally belonged to him for me, such as his revenge, his career, his mission... because
Me, he worries too much, and I get him in trouble every time.
If it weren't for me, Mu Yuxiu would still be the man who cuddles around, only has sex with women but no love, is indestructible, and is omnipotent. He will not have any weaknesses, and no one will use his weaknesses to destroy him.
He said that he was a walking zombie, but what about the walking zombies?
I would rather do this than see him in pain.
He said he couldn't bear to let me cry, but he didn't know why. I didn't want to see a tough man like him shed a tear for a woman like me.
However, during that period of time, he shed too many tears for me, many times behind my back. What impressed me most was the time he cried while leaning against the bathroom door.
My heart aches to the extreme.
So I was outside the door, hugging myself and crying.
Before that time, I was still hesitating whether I should continue to love him. The moment I heard his low and suppressed cry, I thought that if all I brought to him was pain and tears, I thought no matter if I died in the future,
Still alive, I finally decided to let go.
So at Mr. Mu's funeral, I threatened him that if he followed me, I would die.
After returning from Tahiti, the day he came to Rong's house, I suddenly collapsed because he had doted on me so much before, and I couldn't accept his sudden indifference.
But then I sobered up again.
Now that I have chosen to give up, I have to get used to getting along with him like a stranger, and I have to get used to living without him.
On the other hand, I was so convinced that he loved me and that his feelings for me had never changed. Therefore, when he hugged Song Chuning at the dinner that day, although I didn’t know why he did this, I believed him.
Neither your heart nor your body will betray me.
So I wasn't angry. At that time, I even thought it would be nice to have a woman accompany him after I left.
When Song Chuning asked me to take off the ring, my thought was still that I could no longer accompany him. I couldn't be so selfish and take possession of something that belonged to his wife. Even if I promised to take it into the coffin, I still gave the ring back in the end.
Got him.
When I took off the jade bracelet, I said to my grandpa in my heart, "Don't blame Ah Wan. I promised to give Ah Xiu happiness, and I really wanted to do it, but in fact, fate was not up to me, and I had to break my promise.
If possible, I hope Ah Xiu will give the jade bracelet to Grandpa, your other grandson-in-law."
As he sang while playing the piano that day, "If someone can, let her accompany you, I don't blame you."
Ash, I really hope you forget me, and I hope another woman can accompany you and you can be happy.
When I proposed going to the United States, he asked me what I was relying on. In fact, he should understand that what I was relying on was that he loved me.
At that time, I thought that if the operation failed, it would be better if I died. At least he would have Song Chuning by his side. If I did not die, I would not come back to disturb him. In short, no matter what the outcome of the operation, I would not return to him.
around.
Because he will be happy only without me.
Later I went to the United States, and whenever I was awake, I was thinking about him.
The outline of his eyebrows and eyes, his lips, his faint fragrance, the way he frowns, the way he smokes... I miss him crazily, he is all in my mind, and I feel so painful thinking about him that I burst into tears.
I heard that if a person has a heart transplant, he may lose his memory, his temperament may change drastically, or he may no longer love the person he loved before. No matter whether this statement has scientific basis or not, I believe it.
Before the heart transplant surgery, I filled a piece of paper with his name, over and over again, reading it while I was writing it, and crying while I was reading it.
I don't want to forget him, I don't want to stop loving him.
Later, I seemed to have a long sleep. When I woke up, my first reaction was to search for Mu Yuxiu in my mind and all the past between us.
Fortunately, I remember all those bits and pieces, and I feel my beating heart, which still contains Mu Yuxiu.
After my heart was replaced, I still remember Mu Yuxiu and I still love him.
I decided to live well.
Because I know that Mu Yuxiu will be kind to himself only when I am safe. If we stay together will only bring harm and pain to each other, then it is better to just forget each other in the world. Just like the lyrics he sang, "A long time , one day you will heal from your sadness."
So I decided to stay in the United States and never go back.
Until Secretary Bi met me, she told me the reasons why Mu Yuxiu divorced me, and the concessions Mu Yuxiu made for me, even when he thought I was dead, he was in the library where we kissed for the first time. , shot himself.
After I heard the news, my first reaction was that I didn't want to live anymore. I even collapsed and climbed to the window to jump out.
Secretary Bi finally pulled me back and repeated Mr. Mu many times that he was not dead, not dead.
I didn't believe her, I just thought she was trying to stop me from committing suicide. Later, Secretary Bi had no choice but to use her computer to connect me to the video.
I saw Mu Yuxiu.
He lay motionless on the bed. This was the first time I saw such a vulnerable side of him. I cried until I fainted.
Chi Beizhe said that Mu Yuxiu's survival skills were not strong and that only I could wake him up, so I cried and called his name again. When he slowly calmed down, I would tell him about the relationship between the two of us. In the past, I told him how I felt when I was chasing him when I was 17 years old.
I shed my tears, and when he finally woke up, I fainted.
When I woke up again, my mood completely changed.
I decided to avenge Mu Yuxiu.
At first, I always didn’t understand why Mu Yuxiu wanted to kill Shen Du and Lin Huishu for me...kill everyone who had hurt me. I abide by the principle of "karma is a cycle and retribution is inevitable". No matter how others hurt me, I will find the reasons within myself and will not deliberately hate anyone.
I have used my moral values to persuade Mu Yuxiu too many times, trying to change him and convince him.
Before this, I always thought that I was a very rational person. It was the difference between this rationality and Mu Yuxiu's character that made me unable to accept Mu Yuxiu's madness.
He gave up Mr. Mu's inheritance for me, he risked lives in order to save me, and he wanted to kill others just because they hurt me... I cannot accept any of these behaviors.
But when I had the evil thought of cutting into pieces all those who hurt him, I finally understood how he felt.
I also discovered that I was actually the same as him. I loved him to the point of going crazy and becoming a demon. The morality and conscience I had always adhered to all collapsed in the moment of hatred.
We are all such people: one thought becomes a Buddha, one thought becomes a devil.
Only then did I realize that I could betray myself and the whole world for Mu Yuxiu.
But I am willing.
A few days later, a perfect and grand revenge plan was born in my mind.
During the year I was in the United States, I used the 500 million yuan Mu Yuxiu gave me during the divorce, as well as a fortune left to me by Shen Du and Mr. Mu. I began to secretly cultivate my power in an attempt to implement it more smoothly. my plan.
On the other hand, I asked Sheng Qizhou to transfer Shen Du to a hospital in the United States. During that year, in addition to learning various knowledge, I spent most of my time with Shen Du.
I would often call Secretary Bi to ask about Mu Yuxiu's situation. I learned that he was busy with his career and had never looked for a woman. Sometimes when he attended public events and needed a female companion, Secretary Bi would always act as a companion.
Before going to bed every night, I would write down the number of days that Mu Yuxiu and I were separated on the calendar. 1 day, 2 days,... 10 days, even 100 days, 300 days passed, I counted the days, and there would always be... I woke up from my dream, raised my hand and touched my face in the darkness.
Lots of tears.
On New Year's Eve, after 368 days of absence, I finally met again the man I love most in my life, the man who drives me crazy.
The first time I saw him after coming downstairs, I knew that he had not changed at all. He was still Mu Yuxiu. When he looked at me, the affection in his eyes was still so deep.
After dinner, I pretended to watch TV, but in fact my attention was entirely focused on Mu Yuxiu.
He sent me home, and I had the opportunity to be alone with him. I closed my eyes quietly and pretended to sleep. His breath was all in my breath. I was extremely greedy.
People from Sheng Qizhou and Rong Zhaoming have been following and monitoring me since I returned to China. I must always be vigilant and be on guard against them at all times.
I play the role of Mu Yuxiu's younger brother and sister. I can no longer get entangled with him, let alone let him know about my revenge plan.
Firstly, because before the dust settles, if I were still with him, the same situation would have happened a year ago - I was his weakness, others would use me to defeat him, and I would still be a drag on him.
On the other hand, if he knew that I wanted to help him get revenge, he would definitely not allow me to do so. On the one hand, he did not want me to use this method, and on the other hand, he did not want me to take risks for him.
I really want to hide it from him.
However, just as I believed that he would not betray me, he also firmly believed that I would always love him and that I would not sleep with Sheng Qizhou.
It is this kind of trust that brings us together again.
In order to be alone with me, he forced me to tell the truth and set up Rong Zhaoming and Sheng Qizhou at the banquet. However, I was still unwilling to tell him the truth.
He was forced into a desperate situation by me and was helpless against me. The only way to punish me was to torture me physically, because other than that, he was unwilling to bully me and would not allow others to hurt me.
I followed him willingly, and when he jumped downstairs holding me in his arms, even though the rope was about to break, I still gave myself to him with confidence.
I firmly believe that he will protect me.
In the library, after 376 days, I lay on his chest again, his arms hugged me, and all my psychological defenses collapsed.
I don’t know what he will do after he knows what I have done, and I don’t know who is the ultimate winner in the final battle between EQ and IQ.
But no matter what the final outcome is, whether it is the defeat of the Sheng family or my death, I just want to say: "Axiu, I am not afraid of death. Even if I am afraid of death, I cannot be with you.
