Moran looked down at the little finger of her left hand and did not continue speaking after all.
"Don't talk about anything else. Just talk about the number of times you whipped me. Do you know how many times?"
"..."
"A thousand times, ten thousand times? Have you ever counted it?" She looked at him lightly.
"Every time you do that to me, I'm thinking, why don't you kill me once and for all? If I die, I won't have to worry about it every day. Do you know what my life is like every day? Fear, humility, a little bit.
Whenever there was any movement, I would tremble with fear. Every time I heard the sound of a car, I was afraid that you were back. When I heard the servant say that you were back, I wished I could disappear completely. Do you know what supported my resistance later?
Is this yours?"
Qi Ruigang's stomach churned, and he felt like he was going to vomit.
"Stop talking..." he said harshly.
Moran's bright eyes looked into his eyes: "It is death! What has always supported me is death! I have been preparing to die. I think I am going to die. What else am I afraid of? Until now, I am still
I need this belief to support me. Now I finally see a little hope and feel that I am living upright. If I marry you, I'm afraid I will continue to support myself with such a decisive belief. Qi Ruigang, who would you say?
Are you ready to die every second? That would be really tiring. If I am so tired from living, I might as well really die..."
"do not talk--"
Qi Ruigang suddenly stood up and stepped forward to hug her body tightly.
"Mo Lan, please stop talking... I know I'm sorry for you, I was wrong, I really know I was wrong..."
Moran was held in his arms, motionless.
Soon, she felt cold liquid on her shoulders.
Qi Ruigang buried his head in her shoulder and said dullly: "I swear I will never hurt you again. I really won't. Moran, don't do this. I would rather you hit me, scold me, or kill me."
I, I don’t want you to live like this. I really didn’t know that you would live so tiredly.”
Moran lowered his eyes slightly: "Actually, I'm used to it."
Qi Ruigang's body stiffened, and he slowly let go of her, squatted down and picked up her skirt.
Then help her put it on carefully.
Pushing aside the bangs on her forehead, Qi Ruigang said with a sad look in his eyes: "I know it's selfish of me to say this, but I still have to say it. Just forget about the past and don't think about it anymore. I don't want you to live in those things all the time.
In pain... Also, I will find a psychiatrist for you tomorrow, and he will help you let go of the pain."
Moran's eyes flashed: "Do you think I'm sick?"
"You're not sick, I just hope you can live a little easier."
"Since I'm not sick, there's no need to see a psychiatrist!"
Qi Ruigang held her shoulders tightly and said seriously: "Don't you want to let go of all that? Not for anyone, just for yourself!"
"If you let me and Evan go, I will naturally let go of all that."
"Really?"
"certainly……"
"Look into my eyes!" Qi Ruigang increased his voice, "Can you really let it go? Even if I let you go, even if you can take Evan to live the life you want, can you let it go?"
Moran suddenly became excited: "I can!"
"You lied! I also let you go free. When you were living alone with Evan, you never thought about everything in the past?"