I have always been a person who likes watching movies. After all, there are too few touches in real life: love involves too many interests, friendship involves too many statuses, and although family affection is sincere, it is too
It has become too dull. Before we know it, our hearts have become incapable of understanding what it means to be moved. I once longed for a lasting love, and I also hoped to have a close friend who would accompany me throughout my life. But time has made me mature.
Reality makes me lonely, and hopelessness makes me hypocritical. Living in today's society, I calmly say insincere words every day, and face the intrigues of various situations skillfully. In life, I have become a nut, and I am rational.
Nuts wrapped in rationality. Fragile sensibility? Let it go to hell!
I can’t remember which philosopher said: Human emotions need a catharsis. So, I found my catharsis in something that has been dismissed by everyone. It is a kind of hopeless sustenance and a kind of hope.
The fantasy after the wings were shattered. From those short 90 minutes, I could find the love I had lost. When the insignificant social interactions in reality turned into the vows of love in the movie, what kind of mood did it feel like? Just like "Paper Planes"
As sung in "The Memory of Childhood": "Childhood memories are so priceless." No matter how hypocritical and indifferent we are now, when we were young, weren't we once moved by the smile of the girl next door? Ever since
, I would rather be moved like an audience and experience the illusion of just 90 minutes - Ronin Pier.
Ling is not the Seven Fairies, and I am certainly not Dong Yong. We are all just ordinary people living in this ordinary era, so there cannot be so many fantasy things in the interpretation of the story between me and her. In this mortal world
, we are all just two grains of sand, two grains of sand that are unwilling to be lonely. We met by chance and created some beautiful sparks, which were beautiful and short-lived. Later, when I grew up, at that time I
Know how to call these sparks love.
I am a person who is easily moved, and at that time I was moved by Ling's smile. That kind of unabashed smile that came from the heart made an ignorant big boy feel ecstatic in his heart, and he was so excited that he didn't know why.
I like to see her smile, because at that time she no longer feels illusory and empty, she is so beautiful and real when she smiles.
"By the way, what's the name of the movie you talked about last time?" She breathed out as she laughed so hard.
"Oh, it's "The Shawshank Redemption." It competed for the Oscar with "Forrest Gump" back then, but failed completely. Later, pirated disc translators in Taiwan and Hong Kong felt that it was too unfair for such a good film to receive such treatment.
I was so excited that I gave it another name called "Exciting 1995"."
"You're fooling around again!"
"I'm not kidding, Shawshank Redemption. Shawshank is the name of a prison. It tells some stories about a very good person who was wrongly imprisoned." I didn't reveal the actual plot, hoping to arouse her curiosity.
Sure enough, my goal was achieved, and she became curious: "What's going on?"
"What do you think a person can do in prison for 20 years? Kill time and wait for the day when he grows old? But some people can build a library and open a school in prison within 20 years, and...
He became the tax expert for all the police in his district, and in the end he was able to dig a tunnel hundreds of meters long and complete his own salvation."
"Wow?!" She was a little surprised.
I successfully aroused Ling's interest without giving her time to transform back into the girl hiding behind the city wall. In the following time, I kept talking to her about the movie and those classic scenes: about "institutionalization"
Thinking, drinking beer on the rooftop, playing "The Marriage of Figaro" in the studio, and finally crawling across a football field in a muddy ditch. I was all in awe.
I spoke to her calmly. My tone had never been as varied and passionate as that moment, and my words had never been so clear and clear. I was like a professional storyteller, tactful and high-spirited.
, with a degree of frustration.
Although my audience is just the little girl sitting across from me eating French fries and fried chicken with a straw in her mouth, I have an unprecedented sense of satisfaction and fulfillment. Because the whole world doesn’t need to pay attention to me, as long as she does.
Yes. Yes, that's true.
No matter how long the story is, there is a moment when it is finished. I took a sip of water and ended my eloquence.
"I really want to watch this movie now!" she said. "Want to watch it now?"
"Yes!" replied firmly.
"Okay, I'll take you to see it!"
"Ah?" She was surprised. "Does the movie from 1995 still need to be shown now?"
I smiled at her mysteriously, then called the waiter, paid the bill, and went out. It was almost 7 o'clock, and the sky was getting a little dark.
She followed me, and the two of us walked along the slightly dim street.
Is this a date? I thought secretly and looked at her profile, which was very delicate. I don’t know why, but her face was very red.
When we arrived at the movie theater where we first met, I asked her to wait for me and then walked in.
The boss, Brother Wang, was watching TV boredly behind the counter. I threw him a cigarette and he lit it without raising his head.
"Coming?"
"Hmm. How is business today?"
"No, now everyone is going to the Internet cafe. Who wants to watch movies? They are all young people in love."
"Haha, should you consider changing careers?"
"Come on, I don't really care. You came here to watch a movie, right? Today is a good movie called "Two Smoking Barrels". It started for more than 10 minutes. Come in, I'll give you a free ticket."
"No, can you lend me that today?"
As a senior who likes to watch movies, in addition to the hall where he makes money, Brother Wang also has his own viewing room. Although the equipment inside is not top-notch, but by the standards of a movie lover, it is
It is absolutely more than enough.
When I was chatting and bragging with him before, he took me in to show off once. Seeing my envious and surprised eyes at that time, he was very proud. But now there is only surprise in his eyes.
"What are you doing? Why are you kidding about my wife?" He kept calling the private screening room his wife's. For this reason, Mrs. Wang was very unhappy.
"Brother Wang, I really need your help today. I promised a girl to take her to watch "The Shawshank Redemption"."
"Then you go to the video parlor to rent DVDs? Why..."
"How can the effects of those places be compared with those here? Only here can it be called watching a movie!" I slapped him with a suitable flattery. His tone also softened.
"But……"
"Stop it, Brother Wang. Little brother, this is my first love, the most beautiful thing in life. Finally, a girl is willing to date me without opening her eyes. At this time, you must make it happen. Thank you first.
Isn’t it all right?” Plus a hat, so you don’t have to worry about him not obeying.
"Okay, okay, I'm afraid of you. I really regret taking you to see it!" He babbled while taking the key.
"Haha, thank you. How much should I give you?" I said as I prepared to take out my wallet.
"We're out! Since I let you go in and take a look, I have no intention of charging you any money. I'll buy me a pack of cigarettes tomorrow."
"Okay!" Before I finished speaking, I went out to find the bell, leaving Brother Wang sighing behind the counter.
Ling was very curious, "Why aren't there other movies being played here today?"
"Come with me, there will be secrets in every place. It's the same here." I have always envied the way the male protagonists in TV movies say these words. I never thought that one day I would be able to say the same. Although the cost is to do it.
Villain, but it also proves that you can never trust everything on the surface.
I took the DVD from Brother Wang and opened a door next to it. I took her in: this is a cinema that belongs to the two of us.
Warmth is actually a kind of chronic poison. It can even be said to be the most beautiful feeling in a love story between two people. When two people are wandering between friendship and love, when two people are in AUO
Above, when lovers are hesitating before they are satisfied, the warmth is like a faint fragrance, slowly eroding each other's bodies. Walking between uncertainty and suspicion, flying between hope and expectation.
There is tension and relaxation; there is happiness and disappointment; there is expectation and sadness. It turns out that the most interesting time in the game of love is before it is called love - Ronin Pier.
The room was very dark, with only a small lamp emitting a faint light. I led her to sit on the sofa in the middle of the room. Turning on the projector, the white light seemed to take us to the past through a tunnel of time.
I was in a trance for a moment, as if I was in a scene from the 1930s that I often see in movies. She and I were sitting together in well-dressed clothes, holding red wine, and enjoying the artist's performance. It felt very romantic.
Romance always comes at a price. First of all, red wine is not what I can afford now. Of course, if you insist that the bottles sold in supermarkets for tens of yuan a bottle are also called red wine, I have nothing to say. At the same time, the well-dressed couple are very interested in each other.
It’s not realistic for a student. A set of Nike or Jack Jones is considered a famous brand. Besides, even if we are our age and dress like those in the movies of the 1930s, people will mistakenly think that my friend is a mentally ill person when walking on the street.
He escaped from the hospital. The reason why he didn’t recognize us as we were filming a movie was because of his height and appearance.
Yes, there is always a gap between dreams and reality. But we cannot give up the pursuit of dreams just because of the slight discrepancy between reality and dreams. Because if we just rely on building a castle of illusion for ourselves,
, you will always be the shepherd boy wandering outside the castle. Only when you pick up the sword and shed blood and sweat to enter the castle will you have some possibility of entering the castle. Maybe you will be disappointed in the end.
You find that the inside of the castle is not what you imagined, but at least you got inside.
When Ling and I went in, it was not like the scene I had imagined, but who can say that we were not romantic at that time? When we are young, we can naturally find our own way.
I turned on the machine, quietly sat down next to her, and said into her ear: "This is a movie just for you."
She didn't speak, she just blushed, very red, and I could even feel the heat coming from her face.
If I were a person who could draw, I would definitely draw a picture of the scene at that time: There were no specific characters in this picture, just two back figures. In a dark cabin, with the help of a The lights from the projector showed them sitting together. They were a little nervous and a little awkward, but they still sat together, very close...
The movie was playing quietly: Andy was in jail. When he was "humiliated" by the three sisters, I could feel a twitch in Ling's body. I felt that she became nervous at that time.
I was also very nervous, because at that time her hand was less than one centimeter away from me, and I could even feel the air trembling when her fingers tightened their grip. Although the weather was not hot and there was air conditioning, I The palms of my hands were already covered in sweat.
What the movie shows is not very important to me. Although I like that movie very much, what I care more about is the girl beside me who has started to cry: at that moment, nothing in the world can include her in my eyes. important.
Millimeter after millimeter, I moved my fingers quietly. Using the corner of my eye and my unprecedentedly sensitive touch, I was exploring the position of her hand. I think my whole back should have been covered in sweat by that time. It must have been soaked, I'm not sure about this, because I only have one memory about that time: that small, thin, white hand.
I really wanted to write about this process longer, because for me, it seemed like 100 years had passed, but my poor writing style could not express my feelings of nervousness and anticipation at that time. So at the end, I finally completed my long march, a long march of only one centimeter, and I touched her hand, which was cool and small. Yes, I knew it when I saw her for the first time. , Ling is a very cool woman.
It's hard to describe the feeling I had when I had purposeful physical contact with a girl for the first time. It was like a numb and sour electric current flowed through my whole body from my fingers slowly but urgently.
Ling was very nervous and immediately retracted her hand.
I was very scared, afraid that she would think that I was a shameless pervert from now on and ignore me. I glanced at her nervously, and Ling's face only turned redder, but there was no more displeasure on her face. Her compromise gave me immense courage. I grabbed her hand that was about to retract, tightly and forcefully, because I was worried that once I let go, everything would be disillusioned like a beautiful dream.
Ling tried to retract her hand, but her strength was obviously no match for mine. After struggling in vain a few times, she protested in a voice that was not much louder than a mosquito: "Let go of my hand."
Only an idiot would let go at this time. Although I have never been in love, I am not an idiot either.
I ignored her, just held her hand and pretended to be watching a movie. I was shocked at my boldness. If I had to do it again, I really don't know if I would have the courage to do it again.
Holding her hand, I felt both the joy of succeeding in committing a crime and a hint of uneasiness about the future. Her hand was small, thin, and cold, and felt very comfortable in my hand. I was floating in the unknown.
In the sky, where the blue sky and white clouds are infinitely beautiful, where the wind is sunny and the spring flowers are blooming - I really want to keep pinching like this...
Until she said: "You pinched me."
Hearing this sentence, I shivered as if I had been electrocuted. I returned to reality and quickly let go of her hand. She gently rubbed her hand, with a feeling that I didn't know whether it was blame or something else.
She looked at me with some kind of emotion in her eyes. I was uneasy, nervous and anxious. I looked at her with guilty and apologetic eyes, hoping to get her forgiveness.
But she laughed instead, probably because she thought I acted like a funny clown. Her smile really soothed my nerves, and I relaxed at that moment. The pressure that had accumulated from the beginning to now was accompanied by a long cry.
Released with a long breath.
"I hate it! It's all your fault that I didn't watch the movie." She hasn't mentioned this yet?!
"Oh, I'll pour it right away, you wait." As a child who made a mistake, of course I need to be more active. I jumped up and started pouring the disc back.
"Yes, that's right, right here!" She stopped and I listened. Then I sat down again.
The atmosphere at that moment seemed to be more tense and ambiguous than before...
Ronin, whose real name is Kang Yi and whose pen name is Ronin Pier, has used countless online names...
I was born at six o'clock in the morning on October 28, 1980. Today is my 26th birthday.
The fortune teller said that my zodiac sign, Qiuyue, is a monkey, which means that I will be rich and have no worries about food and clothing. I still haven’t noticed this yet. But at least I have lived up to my name, and I am always pursuing the word "well".
I didn’t go out to play today, but stayed in front of the computer to update this novel. Because I think it’s more commemorative.
——————————————————————
At night, in the quiet screening room, Ling and I sat quietly. After the small episode just now, my lustful or other evil intentions had been exhausted, and instead I began to worry all the time.
She was troubled by the thought.
And what about Ling? She was still watching the movie quietly, but her expression calmed down, leaving me unable to guess what she was thinking.
I was worried that she would be angry. I was looking forward to the progress of our relationship because of our new contact. I was also afraid that she would return to her castle after the movie. I also imagined that we could complete our own love experience more simply than in fairy tales.
…
To me, that movie is like a court facing a trial. When the movie is over, my judge will announce my sentence. It may be life imprisonment or acquittal. The opportunity is equal, so you can't guess.
I can only wait anxiously for the moment of judgment to arrive.
Let’s finish the movie quickly! No! No, not so fast, slower!
What on earth was I expecting? I don't know.
The movie slowly came to an end amidst my anxiety and waiting. Finally, Andy and Red hugged each other on the beautiful Pacific island of Zihuatanejo, and the ending subtitles slowly slid upwards.
Instead, I breathed a sigh of relief and was ready to face everything.
Ling was still very calm, as calm as if what happened just now had never happened. She was so calm that I even thought that the contact just now was just a fantasy in my mind.
But no, the slightly numb feeling on my fingertips told me that none of this was my imagination, all of this was a fact that really happened. But why, why didn't she have any reaction?
I was like a prisoner waiting for the verdict in court. No matter what the judge's final verdict was, I was fully mentally prepared. However, in the end, the judge told me to adjourn the court and postpone the trial again?! This, This, what on earth is going on?
I don't understand. Although I am thick-skinned and oily-mouthed, I still don't know how to guess a girl's mental state at that time. What's more, the bell itself is more complicated and profound than ordinary girls?
We didn't speak and just walked out quietly. I returned the keys and the disc to Brother Wang. He looked at the expressions of the two of us and gave me a meaningful smile.
I ignored him and followed Ling's footsteps out of the store.
Autumn has entered, and the coolness in the night is becoming more and more biting and uncomfortable. Ling looks a bit cold, and standing under the shade of a tree on the roadside looks so small and pitiful.
I followed her and stood opposite her, moving my mouth but not knowing what to say.
"It's very late, I should go back." Ling whispered. Did she really not care about what just happened?
"Oh, I'll give it to you." I followed her words subconsciously.
"No, it's quite cold today. I'll just take a taxi and leave." She no longer agreed to my request like last time. Her refusal voice was soft, but her tone was very firm and she didn't give me any compromise. room.
I kind of knew what she was thinking, and I felt a little uncomfortable in my heart, but I couldn't show it. I still had to pretend that I didn't mind, and it didn't matter: "Oh, okay, you have to be careful! If you get there, Give me a message, okay?" I asked tentatively.
She didn't comment, just stopped a passing taxi and prepared to get in.
I caught up and opened the car door for her and watched her walk in. When I closed the door, I looked at Ling's eyes. They were as deep as a black hole that wanted to suck me in. It hid Ling's eyes. The idea of hiding Ling’s past...
"I'm sorry!" I murmured. But Ling just smiled slightly, and then told the driver to drive.
Then I watched the car slowly start carrying my happiness. What was left to me was endless regret and loss.
This is the second time I watched her back on the bus go away from me. The first time was when we just met. I watched her back on the bus slowly disappear into the afterglow of the sunset. That was It was a very warm and cozy picture. From that moment on, I knew I fell in love with this girl.
But what about this time? Will the almost identical situation bring about a completely opposite result? I stared blankly at the back of the taxi, thinking blankly.
I habitually took out my cigarette and prepared to light it. Only then did I realize that I had never smoked a cigarette until Ling and I met! This is simply unbelievable. You know, I usually smoke in 10 minutes or 20 minutes. Can you smoke a cigarette? The magic of love? Stop being funny! I told myself: I don’t even know what she is thinking now. If I hold too much hope from the beginning, it will be very painful if I fall.
I shook my head, smoked a cigarette, and walked back to the dormitory.
The dormitory was still bustling as usual. The "study gang" headed by the eldest brother and the second child were still studying in the evening, while the fourth and fifth children were playing games online. My return did not attract their attention at all. I also
I was so happy that I changed my clothes quietly, went to the water room and took a cold shower, trying to calm down my mood. Because in the next time, I still need to play the role I played in the dormitory: the indifferent person
The third child is a sultry and slightly arrogant person.
The first thing I did when I returned to the dormitory was to look at the pager on the bed. There was no new information, only the indifferent digital clock beating rigorously. So I sighed, kept the pager aside, and tried
Don't think about the bell anymore for now.
But I failed. Even if I played games, read novels, made fun of the boss and second child's new haircuts after they came back, and attended lying meetings in bed... I still missed that little pager all the time.
I hope to hear that familiar "beep" sound. I'm worried about whether Ling has returned to her school safely. I'm worried about whether Ling will stop paying attention to me because of what I just did. I'm still worried.
What kind of character have I become in Suzu's mind...
And at this moment, my pager rang: "Didi", "Didi"... The famous Ronin Pier has used countless online names...
I was born at six o'clock in the morning on October 28, 1980. Today is my 26th birthday.
The fortune teller said that my zodiac sign, Qiuyue, is a monkey, which means that I will be rich and have no worries about food and clothing. I still haven’t noticed this yet. But at least I have lived up to my name, and I am always pursuing the word "well".
I didn’t go out to play today, but stayed in front of the computer to update this novel. Because I think it’s more commemorative.
——————————————————————
At night, in the quiet screening room, Ling and I sat quietly. After the small episode just now, my lustful or other evil intentions had been exhausted, and instead I began to worry all the time.
She was troubled by the thought.
And what about Ling? She was still watching the movie quietly, but her expression calmed down, leaving me unable to guess what she was thinking.
I was worried that she would be angry. I was looking forward to the progress of our relationship because of our new contact. I was also afraid that she would return to her castle after the movie. I also imagined that we could complete our own love experience more simply than in fairy tales.
…
To me, that movie is like a court facing a trial. When the movie is over, my judge will announce my sentence. It may be life imprisonment or acquittal. The opportunity is equal, so you can't guess.
I can only wait anxiously for the moment of judgment to arrive.
Let’s finish the movie quickly! No! No, not so fast, slower!
What on earth was I expecting? I don't know.
The movie slowly came to an end amidst my anxiety and waiting. Finally, Andy and Red hugged each other on the beautiful Pacific island of Zihuatanejo, and the ending subtitles slowly slid upwards.
Instead, I breathed a sigh of relief and was ready to face everything.
Ling was still very calm, as calm as if what happened just now had never happened. She was so calm that I even thought that the contact just now was just a fantasy in my mind.
But no, the slightly numb feeling on my fingertips told me that none of this was my imagination, all of this was a fact that really happened. But why, why didn't she have any reaction?
I was like a prisoner waiting for the verdict in court. No matter what the judge's final verdict was, I was fully mentally prepared. However, in the end, the judge told me to adjourn the court and postpone the trial again?! This, This, what on earth is going on?
I don't understand. Although I am thick-skinned and oily-mouthed, I still don't know how to guess a girl's mental state at that time. What's more, the bell itself is more complicated and profound than ordinary girls?
We didn't speak and just walked out quietly. I returned the keys and the disc to Brother Wang. He looked at the expressions of the two of us and gave me a meaningful smile.
I ignored him and followed Ling's footsteps out of the store.
Autumn has entered, and the coolness in the night is becoming more and more biting and uncomfortable. Ling looks a bit cold, and standing under the shade of a tree on the roadside looks so small and pitiful.
I followed her and stood opposite her, moving my mouth but not knowing what to say.
"It's very late, I should go back." Ling whispered. Did she really not care about what just happened?
"Oh, I'll give it to you." I followed her words subconsciously.
"No, it's quite cold today. I'll just take a taxi and leave." She no longer agreed to my request like last time. Her refusal voice was soft, but her tone was very firm and she didn't give me any compromise. room.
I kind of knew what she was thinking, and I felt a little uncomfortable in my heart, but I couldn't show it. I still had to pretend that I didn't mind, and it didn't matter: "Oh, okay, you have to be careful! If you get there, Give me a message, okay?" I asked tentatively.
She didn't comment, just stopped a passing taxi and prepared to get in.
I caught up and opened the car door for her and watched her walk in. When I closed the door, I looked at Ling's eyes. They were as deep as a black hole that wanted to suck me in. It hid Ling's eyes. The idea of hiding Ling’s past...
"I'm sorry!" I murmured. But Ling just smiled slightly, and then told the driver to drive.
Then I watched the car slowly start carrying my happiness. What was left to me was endless regret and loss.
This is the second time I watched her back on the bus go away from me. The first time was when we just met. I watched her back on the bus slowly disappear into the afterglow of the sunset. That was It was a very warm and cozy picture. From that moment on, I knew I fell in love with this girl.
But what about this time? Will the almost identical situation bring about a completely opposite result? I stared blankly at the back of the taxi, thinking blankly.
I habitually took out my cigarette and prepared to light it. Only then did I realize that I had never smoked a cigarette until Ling and I met! This is simply unbelievable. You know, I usually smoke in 10 minutes or 20 minutes. Can you smoke a cigarette? The magic of love? Stop being funny! I told myself: I don’t even know what she is thinking now. If I hold too much hope from the beginning, it will be very painful if I fall.
I shook my head, smoked a cigarette, and walked back to the dormitory.
The dormitory was still bustling as usual. The "study gang" headed by the eldest brother and the second child were still studying in the evening, while the fourth and fifth children were playing games online. My return did not attract their attention at all. I also
I was so happy that I changed my clothes quietly, went to the water room and took a cold shower, trying to calm down my mood. Because in the next time, I still need to play the role I played in the dormitory: the indifferent person
The third child is a sultry and slightly arrogant person.
The first thing I did when I returned to the dormitory was to look at the pager on the bed. There was no new information, only the indifferent digital clock beating rigorously. So I sighed, kept the pager aside, and tried
Don't think about the bell anymore for now.
But I failed. Even if I played games, read novels, made fun of the boss and second child's new haircuts after they came back, and attended lying meetings in bed... I still missed that little pager all the time.
I hope to hear that familiar "beep" sound. I'm worried about whether Ling has returned to her school safely. I'm worried about whether Ling will stop paying attention to me because of what I just did. I'm still worried.
What kind of character have I become in Suzu's mind...
And at this moment, my pager rang: "Didi", "Didi"...