Maybe when life began to reproduce, I was destined to survive in this world. The people who gave me life were in this world. I called them "Dad" and "Mom". They were the closest relatives in my life. I thought I would

Accompanying them all their lives, however, due to destiny, happiness has passed away, home is no longer home, but has become a refuge from reality, laughter and laughter have flowed away like the roaring Yellow River, and destiny has been marked for me.

The question mark makes me wonder where to go. When the breeze blows through my heart, I only feel the trembling from my soul, but life will not sympathize with me, a fragile little animal, because of my timidity. So, I

All we can do is keep the nightmares away and face reality with strength and calmness...

If life is a magnet that attracts me to this world, then fate is an invisible net that draws me to this bumpy road. Whether I want it or not, I cannot resist it. Therefore, my life

It started at a certain point and kept changing roles...

"Heaven" is still the "heaven" of yesterday, and "man" is still the "man" of yesterday. The difference is that from a certain point on, I have betrayed my own will and embarked on the road of no return. I was driven to the cross and was

Hanging naked on the stage, like a clown selling his "soul" for the so-called "future". This was the first step in my life, and I paid a heavy price for it. I lost my dignity and consciously

The pain was excruciating, but life did not forget to add sour ingredients to the frightened me, letting me taste it carefully...

Life is only a few decades, who can not experience the changes of the sun and the moon? Staying alone in a certain "happy" or "painful" moment? Everyone can taste sour, sweet, bitter and spicy. This is understandable and the essence of life.

It is fickle, not to mention that we are all mortals. We do not have the ability to predict good or bad luck or predict the future. In the vast universe, when bad luck comes one after another, how much pressure can mortals bear?

Are people as unfortunate as me also undergoing the baptism of time?

My experience is very ordinary, not to say ups and downs, but each part is unforgettable. I have experienced the role of faceless "nanny", the role of pale and monotonous "clerk", the role of ambitious "wanderer", and the role of complex and changeable "lover"

...Of course, there is also the role of the "rebellious and eccentric daughter" that I don't want to mention, which makes up the entirety of my life...

I don't seem to belong to this world, because I like the feeling of "floating" and "hazy", which makes people feel carefree and carefree. I hate the complex and changeable eyes of people in this world. It seems that life has created

The eyes of a sinful alien who should have rotted away long ago are focused on my thin back. It burns my body and soul like lightning that floods wildly on a rainy night. No matter where I am,

That kind of shadow will always follow you...

"I never lie, but I am afraid of the truth!" I admit that I am a combination of contradictions, but this is the sediment left to me by life. I shout, but I have no choice...

Dad is a poet, a free and forced poet. He is tall but thin, cold and unruly, fiery and passionate. He has melancholy and calm eyes. I like the little bits of light released by those eyes, which feels like a dream.

magical……

So, I always giggled and kissed those overly charming eyes with my soft little mouth, and then touched his firm and warm face with my pink little hands. Every time, I would giggle and say

: "This is my dad, my dad..."

"Haha, girl." Dad always responds like this and kisses my eyes.

"Girl likes daddy!" My voice was a little childish.

"Dad loves girls more." Dad hugged me tightly. He kept kissing my smooth and tender forehead, and rubbed my little face with his rough chin. I felt tickled and suddenly hid my head in his hands.

In my arms, I giggled again...

I climbed up on my father's back in a habitual and arrogant way, playing with his slightly long hair, and followed his melancholy and calm eyes to gaze at the dim fields in the morning dew, and to see the remaining trace of bright red in the dusk...

At that time, I loved my father more than my mother...

That year, I was six years old...

"You should learn to forget, girl." My father said to me when I was ten years old. He seemed to have a premonition that his life had come to an end. Those last words that seemed to be before his death reminded me of my father's song "Bing Eyes" again.

》:

Gentle and cooling ice eyes,

Flow and shake...

picturesque era,

Like a dream like snow,

the flowery age,

Light and agile.

Autumn brings a touch of sadness,

The gentle sorrow that strikes at night,

A little indifference,

How much leisure and sorrow?

The arrogant and changing eyes,

Calm and calm,

The dancing and whirling soul,

relieved,

A moment of eternal return...

I don't understand, I can't smell the breath of death. I no longer giggle like I did when I was six years old. I just raise my slender eyes that look exactly like my father's and look at those eyes that are astigmatized due to confusion... At that moment, that

The sadness in my eyes let me know that I will carry this sadness through every spring, autumn, winter and summer of my life...

"Haha, Dad, forgive my ignorance, I have no tears..."

The sun has already set in the west, and the gray tone of twilight cannot cover up the hazyness of its own explicit and metaphorical...

The night is already deep, the breeze is bone-chilling, and the starry sky outside the window is brilliant. However, my carefree childhood has drifted with the boundless night to a place that can only be perceived in dreams...

Ten years old, yes, ten years old. I am still a child, but a certain period of time in my memory always reappears in my mind...

In the cold long night, the familiar face was illuminated under the crystal table lamp that was the same age as me. The face that was no longer exposed to the sun but was crippled by the disease. My mother protected my father's eyes, which were as red as if they had been invaded by chili juice, and his tears were like

The rapid falling like raindrops. I followed the crowd. The night was as dark as a black tunnel, deep, long and terrifying. I looked around timidly. I felt fear, a fear that was almost like prickly heat...

…

The rotten smell in the ward made me sick, but I had to stay there and wait for my dad to wake up and take me home. I said: "Dad, my strong dad, you will wake up! You will wake up!!"

When you don’t believe that the facts are happening to you, and you are the exception!

Dad left me! He left me forever!! But I am still searching for every memory about him... his sunny face, melancholy eyes, broad arms, hoarse and clear voice...

No one is as calm and gentle as me, as if the person who died due to coldness was not my father, but someone else, just a distant neighbor or a strange friend. That kind of ignorance that is more ruthless than coldness makes me unable to

Forgetting is also deeply engraved in my memory. I call it a childhood where I can’t cry. But I don’t think it’s my fault, because he didn’t have time to let me experience the "sorrow" just like the branch.

The sycamore flowers withered and fell on the dust. So I lost my childhood that should have been happy. At that time, my father’s shadow was like a cloud and was heavily shattered by the tragic wind of time. In an instant, seventy-eight

fall……

The first step in my life was so tragic! However, I actually had to face it peacefully. I accompanied my father on the road, and the scenes of life and death always made people blend with each other, and the clean and peaceful body always inhabited it.

In the icy embrace of the vast earth, my father's silence was like a sudden death. Amidst the crackling sound, the shivering cold wind, and the weak sadness of his relatives, he balanced the noise that was opposite to his birth...

The black coffin found its home. Then, the mixed mud and water gradually buried the tranquility and ordinaryness that had gone away, and the lingering rain slowly washed away my indifference...

It gradually became flat, and then it became round and pointed, like a small mountain peak. There were no tombstones in front of the graves and no new graves around it. It was so eye-catching that I could see it at a glance while standing on the adjacent road.

Yes, this is my father's destination. I almost remembered something, "Oh, I forgot to ask you: 'Dad, didn't you leave anything behind in this world?'"...

What still echoes in my ears is my father's song "Ice Eyes":

Gentle and cooling ice eyes,

Flow and shake...

picturesque era,

Like a dream like snow,

the flowery age,

Light and agile.

Autumn brings a touch of sadness,

The gentle sorrow that strikes at night,

A little indifference,

How much leisure and sorrow?

The arrogant and changing eyes,

Calm and calm,

The dancing and whirling soul,

relieved,

A moment of eternal return...

I don’t understand, I can’t feel that death has come quietly and taken away my dearest people...

"He is a servant here, how could you not recognize him?"

No wonder their clothes are so similar, they were all made here.

No, logically speaking, Meng Tianze should be at the first scene. How could he just say he didn't see him and just disappear? I suddenly felt a little scared and became nervous.

"Meng Tianze, you damn thing, can you stop making trouble and come out? I'm wrong, okay?" I yelled in the room, but there was no movement at all. I was a little anxious and ran out of the house quickly.

, looked around, but couldn't see any trace of him.

"Mother-in-law, where do you think he will go?"

She thought for a moment and said, "Follow me."

She led me to the boxes and slowly opened the lids.
To be continued...