Maybe when life began to reproduce, I was destined to survive in this world. The people who gave me life were in this world. I called them "Dad" and "Mom". They were the closest relatives in my life. I thought I would
Accompanying them all their lives, however, due to destiny, happiness has passed away, home is no longer home, but has become a refuge from reality, laughter and laughter have flowed away like the roaring Yellow River, and destiny has been marked for me.
The question mark makes me wonder where to go. When the breeze blows through my heart, I only feel the trembling from my soul, but life will not sympathize with me, a fragile little animal, because of my timidity. So, I
All we can do is keep the nightmares away and face reality with strength and calmness...
If life is a magnet that attracts me to this world, then fate is an invisible net that draws me to this bumpy road. Whether I want it or not, I cannot resist it. Therefore, my life
It started at a certain point and kept changing roles...
"Heaven" is still the "heaven" of yesterday, and "man" is still the "man" of yesterday. The difference is that from a certain point on, I have betrayed my own will and embarked on the road of no return. I was driven to the cross and was
Hanging naked on the stage, like a clown selling his "soul" for the so-called "future". This was the first step in my life, and I paid a heavy price for it. I lost my dignity and consciously
The pain was excruciating, but life did not forget to add sour ingredients to the frightened me, letting me taste it carefully...
Life is only a few decades, who can not experience the changes of the sun and the moon? Staying alone in a certain "happy" or "painful" moment? Everyone can taste sour, sweet, bitter and spicy. This is understandable and the essence of life.
It is fickle, not to mention that we are all mortals. We do not have the ability to predict good or bad luck or predict the future. In the vast universe, when bad luck comes one after another, how much pressure can mortals bear?
Are people as unfortunate as me also undergoing the baptism of time?
My experience is very ordinary, not to say ups and downs, but each part is unforgettable. I have experienced the role of faceless "nanny", the role of pale and monotonous "clerk", the role of ambitious "wanderer", and the role of complex and changeable "lover"
...Of course, there is also the role of the "rebellious and eccentric daughter" that I don't want to mention, which makes up the entirety of my life...
I don't seem to belong to this world, because I like the feeling of "floating" and "hazy", which makes people feel carefree and carefree. I hate the complex and changeable eyes of people in this world. It seems that life has created
The eyes of a sinful alien who should have rotted away long ago are focused on my thin back. It burns my body and soul like lightning that floods wildly on a rainy night. No matter where I am,
That kind of shadow will always follow you...
"I never lie, but I am afraid of the truth!" I admit that I am a combination of contradictions, but this is the sediment left to me by life. I shout, but I have no choice...
Dad is a poet, a free and forced poet. He is tall but thin, cold and unruly, fiery and passionate. He has melancholy and calm eyes. I like the little bits of light released by those eyes, which feels like a dream.
magical……
So, I always giggled and kissed those overly charming eyes with my soft little mouth, and then touched his firm and warm face with my pink little hands. Every time, I would giggle and say
: "This is my dad, my dad..."
"Haha, girl." Dad always responds like this and kisses my eyes.
"Girl likes daddy!" My voice was a little childish.
"Dad loves girls more." Dad hugged me tightly. He kept kissing my smooth and tender forehead, and rubbed my little face with his rough chin. I felt tickled and suddenly hid my head in his hands.
In my arms, I giggled again...
I climbed up on my father's back in a habitual and arrogant way, playing with his slightly long hair, and followed his melancholy and calm eyes to gaze at the dim fields in the morning dew, and to see the remaining trace of bright red in the dusk...
At that time, I loved my father more than my mother...
That year, I was six years old...
"You should learn to forget, girl." My father said to me when I was ten years old. He seemed to have a premonition that his life had come to an end. Those last words that seemed to be before his death reminded me of my father's song "Bing Eyes" again.
》:
Gentle and cooling ice eyes,
Flow and shake...
picturesque era,
Like a dream like snow,
the flowery age,
Light and agile.
Autumn brings a touch of sadness,
The gentle sorrow that strikes at night,
A little indifference,
How much leisure and sorrow?
The arrogant and changing eyes,
Calm and calm,
The dancing and whirling soul,
relieved,
A moment of eternal return...
I don't understand, I can't smell the breath of death. I no longer giggle like I did when I was six years old. I just raise my slender eyes that look exactly like my father's and look at those eyes that are astigmatized due to confusion... At that moment, that
The sadness in my eyes let me know that I will carry this sadness through every spring, autumn, winter and summer of my life...
"Haha, Dad, forgive my ignorance, I have no tears..."
The sun has already set in the west, and the gray tone of twilight cannot cover up the hazyness of its own explicit and metaphorical...
The night is already deep, the breeze is bone-chilling, and the starry sky outside the window is brilliant. However, my carefree childhood has drifted with the boundless night to a place that can only be perceived in dreams...
Ten years old, yes, ten years old. I am still a child, but a certain period of time in my memory always reappears in my mind...
In the cold long night, the familiar face was illuminated under the crystal table lamp that was the same age as me. The face that was no longer exposed to the sun but was crippled by the disease. My mother protected my father's eyes, which were as red as if they had been invaded by chili juice, and his tears were like
The rapid falling like raindrops. I followed the crowd. The night was as dark as a black tunnel, deep, long and terrifying. I looked around timidly. I felt fear, a fear that was almost like prickly heat...
…
The rotten smell in the ward made me sick, but I had to stay there and wait for my dad to wake up and take me home. I said: "Dad, my strong dad, you will wake up! You will wake up!!"
When you don’t believe that the facts are happening to you, and you are the exception!
Dad left me! He left me forever!! But I am still searching for every memory about him... his sunny face, melancholy eyes, broad arms, hoarse and clear voice...
No one is as calm and gentle as me, as if the person who died due to coldness was not my father, but someone else, just a distant neighbor or a strange friend. That kind of ignorance that is more ruthless than coldness makes me unable to
Forgetting is also deeply engraved in my memory. I call it a childhood where I can’t cry. But I don’t think it’s my fault, because he didn’t have time to let me experience the "sorrow" just like the branch.
The sycamore flowers withered and fell on the dust. So I lost my childhood that should have been happy. At that time, my father’s shadow was like a cloud and was heavily shattered by the tragic wind of time. In an instant, seventy-eight
fall……
The first step in my life was so tragic! However, I actually had to face it peacefully. I accompanied my father on the road, and the scenes of life and death always made people blend with each other, and the clean and peaceful body always inhabited it.
In the icy embrace of the vast earth, my father's silence was like a sudden death. Amidst the crackling sound, the shivering cold wind, and the weak sadness of his relatives, he balanced the noise that was opposite to his birth...
The black coffin found its home. Then, the mixed mud and water gradually buried the tranquility and ordinaryness that had gone away, and the lingering rain slowly washed away my indifference...
It gradually became flat, and then it became round and pointed, like a small mountain peak. There were no tombstones in front of the graves and no new graves around it. It was so eye-catching that I could see it at a glance while standing on the adjacent road.
Yes, this is my father's destination. I almost remembered something, "Oh, I forgot to ask you: 'Dad, didn't you leave anything behind in this world?'"...
What still echoes in my ears is my father's song "Ice Eyes":
Gentle and cooling ice eyes,
Flow and shake...
picturesque era,
Like a dream like snow,
the flowery age,
Light and agile.
Autumn brings a touch of sadness,
The gentle sorrow that strikes at night,
A little indifference,
How much leisure and sorrow?
The arrogant and changing eyes,
Calm and calm,
The dancing and whirling soul,
relieved,
A moment of eternal return...
I don’t understand, I can’t feel that death has come quietly and taken away my dearest people...
"He is a servant here, how could you not recognize him?"
No wonder their clothes are so similar, they were all made here.
No, logically speaking, Meng Tianze should be at the first scene. How could he just say he didn't see him and just disappear? I suddenly felt a little scared and became nervous.
"Meng Tianze, you damn thing, can you stop making trouble and come out? I'm wrong, okay?" I yelled in the room, but there was no movement at all. I was a little anxious and ran out of the house quickly.
, looked around, but couldn't see any trace of him.
"Mother-in-law, where do you think he will go?"
She thought for a moment and said, "Follow me."
She led me to the boxes and slowly opened the lids.
typical?
"Where are we going?" My eyes lit up, I was afraid that she would lose it for me.
"Just follow me!" She jumped into the hole very skillfully, and I followed behind.
The hole was less than two meters deep. As soon as we entered, the lid of the box above was closed, and then several stairs appeared in front of us. We walked up the narrow stairs and found that this was a narrow corridor with four sides.
The same old paintings and exquisitely crafted candlesticks were still hung on the walls. The corridor was only less than one meter wide, so it was a bit difficult for two people to go through it, especially with her.
"What is this place?" I was a little curious.
"Wall!"
"Wall?" I was surprised.
"Just follow me."
"This is a wall? So the boxes in each room are the entrances?"
"That's not true, don't ask so many questions!"
If you don't ask, don't ask. Why are you like Meng Tianze?
There are many forked roads here. Based on my IQ, I guess these forked roads lead to different rooms. No wonder she arrived as soon as her adoptive father called her.
We took a few turns here.
"Hey! Meng Tianze, do you want to die? Running so far scares me to death!" I saw him standing in front and rushed up to yell.
He turned around and said, "Hey, when did you start caring about me?"
"I care about you? Just stay here and feed the wolves!" I didn't know whether I was angry or doing something, so I turned around and left.
"Don't go, come and take a look!" He pointed to the floor. My mother-in-law and I rushed over.
A line of red letters was clearly written on the ground: This is just a warning, do you understand? Haha!
"Blood?" My expression changed a little.
"Yes," the mother-in-law looked at the line of words carefully and thought about something, "How could it be? Coil the snake and chop it?"
She muttered to herself for a long time, but I didn't hear what she was talking about.
"Hey, old woman, what are you talking about?" Meng Tianze asked her.
Something was wrong with her. "No, let's go out."
She smoothly turned the candlestick next to us, and an opening opened on the side facing the candlestick. We jumped out from that exit and recognized that this was a restaurant.
I didn't understand what was going on before I went out of the "wall", but it was quite fresh.
"It's not good, it's not good! Master, Master!" The next day when we were all still asleep, we heard the old woman outside yelling. I put on my coat and ran out to take a look.
As soon as I went out, I saw that kid coming out too.
"What are you doing? You yelled so early in the morning! I'm still dreaming!" Fortunately for him, he yawned and looked drowsy. Where did his seriousness go yesterday?
Unexpectedly, the old woman didn't even pay attention to him and continued to run away while shouting.
"Why are you shouting! What happened?" The door to the right of the old woman suddenly opened, and the adoptive father walked out. This was not his room.
"Master, he...he...oh, someone is dead, someone is dead, it's not a good sign!"
"Okay, okay, I understand. Remember, you are not allowed to yell in the morning. Do you hear me? Be careful, I will cut your tongue." The foster father threw away these words angrily, and then left.
I don’t know where he is going. But I can’t figure out where he came out just now. After the old lady left, Meng Tianze and I decided to open the door and take a look. It was empty inside, not even a bed.
, Alas! He wouldn't have slept on the rafters last night. I didn't expect this old man to like to be a gentleman on the rafters.
"Girl, do you feel something is wrong?" Meng Tianze frowned and looked around.
"No." I also looked around, but there was nothing. This guy must not have woken up. "Hey, did you sleepwalk hand in hand with your dearest Snow White last night?"
He stared at me angrily, left the room, slammed the door, and left. Hey! Aren't you angry? You're stingy!
He didn't say a word until he saw me the next day, nor did he let me "put on the ring" for him, but fortunately, my adoptive father didn't notice. But he seemed to be really angry this time. I always felt
I felt a little sorry. After lunch, I knocked on his door.
"Come in!"
When I walked in, I found him reading a book on a chair. The book was very thick, and I didn’t know what it was about. The gray book cover had gilded characters printed on it, and the paper had turned yellow. It was probably an “antique” from the underground market.
One of them.
He didn't raise his head to look at me at all, and looked at the book as if no one else was there. I just stood there and didn't know what to say.
"I... I'm sorry. Why are you so angry? You don't even pay attention to me. You will suffocate me to death. Please, don't be angry, okay!" I swear, that's all I'm listening to.
I've never told anyone that I feel sick to my stomach or even feel very perverted, but now I feel like my face is burning. Forget it, anyway, I risked my life to prevent him from ignoring me, otherwise I wouldn't even be able to talk in such a big place.
If there are no people, wouldn’t it be boring?
Who would have thought that that boy would toast me instead of eating, and still read a book there? Damn you, you deliberately made me angry?! You turned a deaf ear to what I had been holding in for a long time, and didn’t even respond to you, stupid!
Forget it, don't ask for trouble, let's go, what can I do if people don't appreciate it. I exited the room and closed the door gently. I planned to apologize again before turning off the lights, hoping that he would be in a better mood by then.
.
I just pushed open the door of my room and felt something was wrong. There seemed to be whispers, but I glanced around for a week, but I didn't see a single figure. Could it be...
I walked into the house, closed the door gently, put my ear against the wall, and listened quietly to the discussion inside.
"What should I do, kid?"
"Kill him tonight!"
"It seems we have no choice but to do this. Who told him to be so alert!"
"What about that chirping troublemaker?"
"Let's keep it for now. There shouldn't be any threat. She'll be sluggish at first sight, so she'll be fine."
"Okay, that's it!"
I was shocked and didn’t know what to do. It was too much! Calling me a "chirping troublemaker"? It pissed me off! But... "that kid" doesn't mean...
I quickly closed the door and thought about what I should do tonight. No, I had to find him. I rushed into his room and opened the door. There was no one in the room. Did he go out? I looked for him in the corridor.
I didn't find it for a long time, and I didn't go to the restaurant for dinner. I just lay on the bed and stared at the ceiling in a daze. From time to time, I took out the timer (an instrument used to measure time, a square with a side length of 2.5 cm, with two holes on it.
Arrange numbers, the first row is the date, the second row is the time. The smallest unit of time is a star. One star is about the time it takes for a spherical stone with a diameter of three centimeters to fall to the ground from a height of two meters. Every one hundred stars
It is recorded as a fog poem, every hundred fog poems is recorded as a fire month, every twenty fire months is recorded as a day, every twenty days is recorded as a wave period, and twenty wave periods are regarded as one year, referred to as a year.
.The timer uses the year-end timing method, that is, counting from the establishment of the transformation.) Let's take a look. It says "1000 years, 3 waves, 15 days, 18 fires, 42 fogs, 78 stars", which is still far from turning off the lights.
1. There are many fires (the lights-out time is about 20 fires every night).
Just when the lights were about to go out, I got up and ran to his room. If the person who spoke at that time could really walk back and forth in the wall, then it would be easy to kill Meng Tianze while he was sleeping. Fortunately, I ran to his room.
He was still reading and didn't leave. I rushed in without even knocking on the door. He just looked up and returned his eyes to the book.
"I'm begging you, whether you hit me, scold me, or if I'm wrong, just don't be angry, come with me, something is going to happen here!" He continued to "work" without looking up.
With a "swish" sound, the light went out. He stood up and groped for the wall, took a candle, and lit it with his ring, pretending that I didn't exist at all. I grabbed his other arm and tried to pull him
He refused to leave the room no matter what.
"Why don't you get angry at me? It's too late, just listen to me for once. Someone wants to kill you!"
From the time I entered the room until now, he didn't say a word. He just pulled the arm I grabbed back hard. Suddenly, I saw a green light streaking across the left side of my peripheral vision, and I jerked him away.
With a push, we both fell to the ground. We were dizzy and our right arm hurt so much that it seemed like we had scratched the skin.
I heard a burst of chaotic footsteps, and the room returned to calm. I slowly got up and sat against the wall. I gently rubbed the broken area with my right hand and sighed.
"Hey, girl, is it okay?" He lit the candle again and said softly.
It was the first time I heard such a gentle tone from him.
I couldn't even say an angry word, I just felt so happy. "Are you not angry anymore?"
He immediately changed his tone, "Of course he's angry!"
"Please! Just one sentence... Why are you angry?"
"I hate it when people make fun of their girlfriends!" He said half-truthfully.
"I'm wrong, why not? I've told you this three times."
"I didn't hear enough. I finally got Miss Qin to apologize in person, so why not listen to a few more words!"
"Okay, you are teasing me," I just wanted to hit him, but my arm hurt so much, "Ouch!"
"Hey, what are you screaming about?! Did you fall to death? Is something okay?"
I shook my head.
"It's okay, don't bark! The wild cats are here!"
Please, you damn guy, can you have a better attitude?!
I didn't have time to talk nonsense with him! I turned around and went back to the room. Early the next morning, I couldn't get up, my head was in a mess, so I simply lay down and slept in.
When I woke up, it was already 10 o'clock. When I got up, I found delicious food on the bedside table, and a note: You damn girl, the food is so delicious, so you should work harder and sleep.
You look like a pig and you still want to wait for your adoptive father to have something extra for you to eat!
I laughed, picked up the rice bowl and started to eat. It was the first time I discovered that rice was so delicious. But I still didn't forget to clean him up the next time I saw him. What a dead girl, a pig... you're looking for death?! But then
Who are the voices in the walls? Will they appear again?
It seems that according to the layout of the rooms we saw that day, we should be able to go through all the rooms quickly, because there is nothing in it, it is just a place for guests to live, with beds, paintings, tables and chairs
, that's all. Alas, I was so excited when I thought of leaving this hellish place right away. I really couldn't wait any longer and hurried to his room to find him.
"What are you still doing here? Let's go!" As soon as I opened the door, I shouted at him who was reading on the chair.
When he heard the sound of me pushing the door open, he raised his head and was stunned for a moment before putting the book on the table and following me out. We looked at the map over and over again, but always felt a little disoriented. The "small square" on it
"Box" is too dense, so our task is very difficult?
"Girl, these rooms are probably all the same. Let's take a closer look at the map. We have to find some different places to have a clue!"
After hearing what he said, I decided to take another look at the torn piece of paper. It was probably the first time I had looked at it so carefully since I knew it. Only then did I realize that there were words on it, and they were in every room. The place where we are now
There are bedrooms of different styles on both sides of this straight corridor. No one is surprised, but it is different as you go further. Probably because the place is too small, there is only one word printed on each room. With the recognition of the language,
I can only roughly understand the meaning of this word. We walked along the corridor for a while and made two turns to the left. The murals painted on the wall on the right were very abstract and could arouse a lot of imagination.
So it's a bit mythical. I accidentally looked at the map a few times and found something strange. On the map, there are several doors to our right. Logically speaking, there should be the same doors in the real thing, but the two of us
I touched the wall and walked along the corridor for a long time, but I couldn't find where the doors were.
"What are you doing! Hey, what's wrong with your adoptive father? He just built such an underground city, like a maze, and asked us all to walk through it. Can people live?" The more I thought about it, the more uncomfortable I felt.
Anyway, he can't find his adoptive father now, so it is inevitable to take out his anger on him.
"My adoptive father didn't build this place, so how can I blame him?"
"Ah? No? Who is that?"
"I'm not sure. Anyway, it's him. This city has been built for more than nine hundred years. It's impossible for my adoptive father to live that long."
"What?" I was startled. It has only been a thousand years since the establishment of the transformation. "More than nine hundred years? Are you mistaken?"
"No, I heard that this is a ruins. My adoptive father also discovered it by accident."
"Oh, it looks like this." My voice became smaller and smaller. I probably felt that I was a little unreasonable.
"Hey, girl! Come here!" He called me suddenly, and I didn't know what was going on.
"What's going on?" I ran over quickly, maybe this guy could make some new discoveries.
"Have you noticed that on this map, the color of our right door is a little bit darker?"
I looked at the map carefully again. Even though he traced it again, I could still vaguely see that the color of the lines outlining the room on the right was indeed heavier, even a little black.
"But, so what? What does it mean?"
"Well..." He frowned and thought for a moment, "This means that these doors are secret doors that we can't see. If you don't believe me, there are some rooms like this on the map. This, this
, and this..." He pointed at some boxes on the map, all of which were dark in color.
"Then how can we find it?" I turned around and was about to ask him, but who knew that this guy was nowhere to be seen. After taking a look around, I found that he was by the wall, as if he was looking for something.
I had to do something to help. It was uncomfortable to stand like this. I walked around the wall and looked at the map. There were three gates drawn on it. I walked along that wall and was drawn on the map.
I walked around the strange wall of "Door" a few times, but the candlesticks on the wall were a little strange. Flames were used to illuminate the place, and there should be a lot of wax on the candlesticks, but some candlesticks were clean and had nothing on them. I gently
I twisted one of them, heard a rumbling sound, and hurriedly avoided it. The wall cracked in half, the crack was very straight, and then spread out to both sides, revealing a light blue door, crystal clear, I don't know what it is used for
Made of materials, it gave people a refreshing and cool feeling. It always felt like a flowing liquid. When he saw me finding the entrance, he ran over there quickly and couldn't wait to push the door. Who knew that
But his hand couldn't touch the door, it just sank in, or he couldn't push it at all.
"How could it be? It's not made of water, right?"
"Maybe, isn't there a lot of weird things happening here?"
"Then what should we do? If we can't open it, how can we get in?"
"I'll give it a try." Before I finished speaking, I stretched out my hand and tried to push the door gently. When I touched the door, I felt that my fingertips were very cool, as if I had been immersed in water. I just
Thinking about opening the door, I was very focused.
Suddenly, I found that the door gradually opened. My eyes lit up and I saw the blue sky and green grass. Suddenly, an inexplicable sense of intimacy came to my heart. I suddenly found that I really like to embrace nature.
I like to listen to its voice so much and breathe in its breath.
"Can we go out?" I asked him happily with my eyes wide open.
"I don't know, it should be."
At that moment, I was so happy, like a bird out of its cage, I almost jumped up with joy.
"Don't be like this. It doesn't matter whether you come out or not, so what does it matter?!"
"Of course it's different. That place is like a cellar, so spooky, with so many rooms, so weird people, so many things, so secret..."
"Okay, okay, are you done? After all, it still provides a place for you to live. After living like this, you don't have any words of gratitude. Forget it if you don't. Anyway, you are a stupid person and you can't speak.
But at least you should have a grateful heart, right?"
"Hey, hey, who are you talking about? You don't want to mess around anymore, do you?" I immediately adjusted my facial expression and looked at him fiercely.
"I'm really sorry. I was rude and accidentally told the truth."
I felt quite proud when I first heard this, but then I thought about it and it didn’t feel right. What is the truth? So I’m really stupid?
"Okay, you, you dare to make fun of me? Let's see how I deal with you!" After I said that, I was ready to beat him, but he ran away very fast, so I was not to be outdone and rushed forward with all my strength. Suddenly I felt a little uncomfortable in my head and some chest tightness.
, couldn't breathe, so he had to stand there and sit down against a tree.
He turned around and ran back again.
"Hey, girl, are you lacking oxygen?"
I wanted to laugh out loud, but I just couldn't. I felt like I was floating and had trouble breathing.
"You are suffering from hypoxia. You just feel dizzy and a little stuffy."
"After talking for a long time, aren't you still suffering from lack of oxygen?"
"Go to hell!" I sat leaning against the tree for a while, and he sat down next to me.
"Can you still leave?" he asked me after about two foggy poems.
"Can you wait a little longer?"
"Oh, that's it." He turned his head again and said nothing more.
Thinking about it carefully, there is no way to continue like this. Sooner or later, I have to leave. I can't stay here forever.
I took a deep breath and said to him, "Let's go."
"Okay?"
"Yeah." I smiled faintly, even though I wasn't very comfortable.
"Do you need..."
"No!" Before he finished speaking, I interrupted. I knew he was going to say whether he should carry it or not. I didn't want to be tortured anymore. He had many bad intentions. If he threw me away like last time,
What to do on the ground?
As we walked, we found that there were fewer trees and more houses around us. It gradually became more prosperous, like a city. After a while, we saw a road. Alas, we finally reached a place where there are people.
Some people on the street are as listless as me.
"Girl, look at those people. Are there too many people here and not enough air? Are they all lacking oxygen?"
"No, then why don't you lack it?"
"Me? Who am I? How can I be lacking?"
Look, here we go again.
Under a ray of sunset, a spacious courtyard came into view. There was a unique house in the distance, with a sky-blue roof and water-like walls, looming, sometimes transparent and blending into the sky. At this time, a person walked out of it,
He pushed open the courtyard door and saw us.
I smiled at him and he nodded.
"Do you know each other?" Meng Tianze looked at me curiously.
"I don't know." I shook my head.
"Then why are you laughing? You're sick!"
I really want to tease him, but I just don't have the energy. To be honest, I really want to go to that house and have a look, but there is no reason to go in.
"Meng Tianze, shall we go back?"
"Going back where?"
"Go back to the place where you were just now. This place is too messy."
Without saying a word, he turned back the way he came.
It's the first time I've seen him be so obedient. He has a bit of a gentlemanly demeanor...