Blow up the bathhouse? Steal the clothes in the changing rooms and closets of shops? Or summon a burst of corrosive acid rain? Directly pour stinking water on pedestrians on the road?
I won't do any of the above. They are all illegal, and they violate my principle of not involving innocent people as much as possible. Well, I just try my best...
I have a better way! Totally legal!
After all, there are a lot of perversions in this city, and there is no need for me to break the law myself...
The Wild Druid Sulfur Mountain Chapter Alliance, referred to as the Buffalo Alliance, is a moderate Druid organization. Well, it is just relatively moderate. In many places, the Druids have been associated with terrorist organizations and big troubles from the beginning.
equal sign.
Why? In the eyes of everyone, aren't druids very friendly? Children of the jungle, they live in harmony with nature, have no desires and demands, and are self-sufficient.
However, I have to say that those who can say this probably have not had any real contact with druids.
As we all know, Druids advocate balance and nature. To put it simply, everything natural is good and everything artificial is bad.
Fundamentalist druids hate all artificial artifacts. They even regard iron tools as the enemy of nature, not to mention engineering, the product of modern industry. They even regard cities as cages of metal and masonry. In their ideals,
It would be best if civilization is cut off and everyone returns to primitive society.
In the world I lived in before, such organizations also existed. They attacked hunters and blew up factories to protect nature. In fact, they were no different from terrorist organizations.
Druids who can communicate peacefully with other beings can probably be regarded as moderates, and the Buffalo Alliance is even more moderate among moderates, otherwise Sulfur Mountain City would not allow them to enter.
Well, even in the Ashe continent, people still hope that life will get better and better, rather than returning more and more to primitive society. Such ethnic groups and doctrines are not suitable for living in a normal society, and there are also normal people in Druids.
, there are always people who want to eat delicious food cooked with care, instead of plucking hair and eating bloody and hairy food, so they are constantly dividing and reorganizing internally.
For example, "We only oppose excessive logging (of course we also oppose mining, but we only protest verbally and will not stop attacks)", "We only oppose hunting whales (we also oppose hunting dolphins, and sea lions! We do not protect sea crabs, seahorses
We will have a meeting next Tuesday to discuss whether to object)" Such a moderate organization actually uses several objections to maintain its Druid teachings and identity, but in fact it is no different from ordinary people.
As a moderate group of moderates, the Buffalo Alliance only opposes one artifact, which can be regarded as a model of harmonious coexistence between druids and human society.
But unfortunately, the artifact that they objected to was too special, which was why their sect was unable to expand its numbers and develop... After all, not everyone had the courage to take off that artifact.
Well, at this point, you should have guessed that they were opposed to that artifact.
Yes, what they object to is clothes...
Yes, their teaching is that the human body is the most perfect creation of nature, clothes are original sin, and we druids are the incarnation of nature. We should show the world our natural and perfect wild body without leaving a trace.
The original name of the Wild Druid Sulfur Mountain Branch Alliance is that wild figures are natural beauty, and the druids who dress are all evil ways and heretics. How could I let such a gentlemanly name be registered in Sulfur Mountain City, so
, and after repeated revisions, it became a barely acceptable Buffalo Alliance.
Even so, they are still a perverted organization that everyone shouts about. They even have a worse reputation than the League of Gentlemen I belong to. After all, not everyone can accept that when they are busy, a group of bird walkers suddenly rush past in front of them.
Man... ahem, just thinking about it is disgusting. Sure enough, I should have kicked them out long ago!
However, in order to take into account the current situation of multi-racial mixing, I did not set up the crime of "indecent" in this city from the beginning. After all, the living habits of various races are too different, which can easily lead to misunderstandings. For example, the tauren drink alcohol at any time.
The habit of breastfeeding is simply too perverted in the eyes of other races.
Moreover, according to the code, perverts are just moral and mental problems, and using the law would be too much, so there is no reason to refuse their entry.
Of course, I regretted it soon after. After successfully settling in, they tried all the time to promote their teachings to the citizens, expand their influence, and caused headaches for law enforcement and judicial agencies. To put it bluntly, they always
Secretly organizing a mass naked run is a waste of my police force.
Ordinary law enforcement officers really have nothing to do with these naked guys, so why don't they just start fighting? The other party did not break the law, but if they used words, it would give them a good opportunity to promote their own doctrines.
"Ha, this is my original beauty. Mother Nature was naked when she created things. What are we so embarrassed about..."
All kinds of fallacies and heresies have their own system. The key is that their strength is not weak. The team leader is still a legendary archdruid, which is extremely troublesome and difficult to deal with.
Fortunately, after the Dark Elf city managers arrived, this vicious arrogance was severely suppressed.
"... Such a small caterpillar is still hanging out without shaving its hair. You are really brave."
"Wow, that guy has an ugly birthmark on his butt, and his left and right feet are higher on one side and lower on the other. He was born with a deformity and ran naked like others. Ah, he is still a bastard. He is so courageous and shameless...
"
"Despicable underground bug, stay away from me, it stinks to death. How long has it been since you took a shower? Savage!"
"Don't cry. Momo sympathizes with you. Hehe, although it is a bit small, less than half of Momo's whip. Cough! Well, it's not too small. Hehe, please work hard to survive. Maybe someone will
I like it! Well, there will definitely be some. Hahaha, Momo can’t help it!”
For men, being looked down upon is really uncomfortable. If the person you look down on is a beautiful woman, it will be even more painful.
Under the onlookers and comments of a group of extremely tough dark elf girls from the matriarchal clan, the Buffalo Alliance, which suffered severe physical and mental damage, almost disbanded. The powerful legendary druid Storm Eagle almost threw himself into the river...
Since then, the Dark Elf city managers have become the natural enemies of the Buffalo Alliance. Every time they organize an event, they are careful to avoid areas where the city management may appear.
But now, I wrote a very long and boring speech, and gave it to Eliza to wear my robe and deliver the speech for me, requesting that all law enforcement officers (including urban management officials) should learn from it. That manuscript... was so boring to me.
They would fall asleep while watching, and they had to read for at least three hours. The most shameless thing was that I also asked them to take notes. They had to submit the notes afterwards to check their study progress. If they didn't listen carefully, their wages would be deducted.
Well, just thinking about it is a kind of torture...I finally vented my grievances about being bothered by the heavy paperwork. I'm so bad, oh yeah!
Haha, now, I just need to ask Lao Niu Xueti to forward the news that the urban management is very busy to the Buffalo League for me, and they will naturally start organizing activities without hesitation. And when the urban management come out of the auditorium in a daze, the activities of the Buffalo League will also
It should have been over long ago.
However, because I felt unhappy with the Buffalo League, the notification time was quite different from the actual time. It was probably an hour late. When they gathered up the team, they would be caught red-handed, and then they would be severely beaten by the city management.
The blow, severe physical and mental injuries, a month or two of quiet...
By the way, is it easy to do some daily work? You also need to use the means of plotting, but now, it is the harvest season, just wait and see the good show.
"puff!"
"puff!"
Sitting in a cafe with a view of the entire main square, I ignored the men outside who had just rushed over to walk the birds. I looked at the unlucky guys squirting coffee and drinks out of their mouths one by one, while enjoying the farce in front of me from the corner of my eyes.
While happily opening the daily newspaper on the table.
"The Black Brotherhood firmly supports the second generation with Anne Levin as its core... It seems that the leaders of this generation of the Thieves Guild are quite smart, so we will not touch them for the time being."
"puff!"
Well, I was happy too early. Eliza opposite me sprayed a sip of coffee on me, all over my face.
"Eliza, you did it on purpose!!"
"Sorry!! I really didn't mean it, Master." The half-demon maid quickly took out a tissue and wiped it for me, but...
"That's not right! Eliza, why are you here? Didn't I ask you to give a speech for me? You..."
"I did plan to give a speech for you at that time, but when the speech plan was approved by the King's Office, Sister Lilith said that since this was an internal training of the Law Enforcement Agency, it would be too much for the Supreme Judge to appear in person, so it was left to the director of the Law Enforcement Agency.
That's enough."
"Oh!" Hearing this, I calmed down. As long as I could restrain the city management, I could leave it to that guy from Snow Hoof. But suddenly, I noticed that Eliza opposite seemed a little hesitant.
"What's wrong? Are you still embarrassed? Haha, no matter how sharp-tongued you are, you are still a woman. You were really frightened when you saw a group of naked men? Don't worry, I know you didn't mean it. If you're embarrassed, just
Go back first and watch my daily harvest today!"
I smiled proudly, but Elise across from me suddenly shook her head, her pretty face full of sympathy.
"...Sir, the reason why I lost my composure, please look behind me."
"behind?"
Turning around, it turned out that it was like a group of demons were dancing. The hook-nosed Storm Eagle and the boy Snowhoof were holding hands, dancing and singing, and dancing around the two paladins who were holding each other and shaking.
It was probably the first time in my life that I was danced around by a circle of naked men, that is, the Paladin.
Some people have even begun to strip off their clothes, intending to let them join the parade...
"Um... Tim and Lucas? It's so pitiful that they actually encountered this group of perverts... I hope it won't leave any psychological shadow. The remaining knights are already unlucky enough."
Of course I remember that these two stupid Paladins have not settled the old score of ruining my Ferris wheel. However, since they have been so unlucky today and I am in a good mood, even if they are lucky, I will not look for opportunities to take revenge.
Okay, let’s just write off the old debt.
"Wait, no! Why is that boy Snow Hoof here?!"
My question only received sympathetic looks, and Eliza coughed lightly and imitated a familiar voice.
"Sir Silver Rose, please don't mention Mr. Sleepless Man as your successor in the future, even if you imitate him very much. If someone finds out, it will affect the reputation of our judicial institution. By the way, please tell me, Sir,
Since the Director of the Law Enforcement Agency, Mr. Gangwei, can't be found anywhere, the speech is postponed to 2:30 tomorrow afternoon. If he is interested, he is invited to attend."
Eliza imitates Lilith's serious accent so perfectly, but I don't have the leisure to enjoy the folk art show anymore...
"Does that mean the speech has been postponed? The urban management officials are all working normally and may appear at any time!!!"
"Bastard! It's you perverts again. Holy light, no, law, give me power! Spell: Conviction!"
There was chaos behind them, and the sudden appearance of the urban management officials shocked the Buffalo Alliance and Snow Hoof. They all thought they had been trapped.
"Bastard Roland, you're cheating on my brother again, I'll make you irreconcilable!!"
The roaring old cow had no idea what was going on. He thought it was the lich who had tricked him, and he didn't even know that he had made a mistake. Instead, he raised his head and roared, as if he had been greatly wronged!
"Damn it, it's not safe here anymore."
I threw down two gold coins as newspaper fees and turned around to leave, but at the door of the cafe, two female elves were smiling at me.
"Hey, the mastermind behind the scenes, as expected, it's you again."
One of them is Diana, the captain of the urban management brigade, and the other is the deputy captain Yawen. At this moment, the heavy dragon-slaying knife is placed at her feet.
Her natural immunity to mental magic is the fundamental reason why I chose to hand over this magic knife that can make the user crazy to the city management. But at this moment, I am not happy that the magic knife has found a suitable owner so quickly, and I am full of joy.
It’s all the trouble of shooting myself in the foot again.
Looking back, Eliza has disappeared without a trace. The half-demon's talent for running through the dimensional gate is really top-notch. The cold-blooded demon abandoning his comrades is so decisive. But at this moment, I am half a beat behind. The people around me have been shot.
Without the dimensional anchor, it is impossible to escape using space magic.
So, I laughed loudly and raised my hands...
...squat down with your head in your hands.
"Don't slap me in the face!! I want to go on a blind date and marry my wife!"
－－－－－－－－－－－－－－
And while I was enjoying the warm hospitality of the urban management beauty, Eliza's familiar voice sounded in my ears.
"Master, I didn't say yesterday that I needed help with this task."
"Huh!? Stop talking and come and save me!!"
"...Actually, I'm not talking about finding those druids. You can definitely find those fellow villagers in the undead zone, zombies, skeleton soldiers, evil enhancers, and bone dragons. They don't wear clothes in the first place. You can definitely bring them with you.
They parade until dawn, that way, the mission will definitely be a success!"
I seem to have seen the girl opposite who is snickering proudly, still pretending to be confused and innocent with a straight face...
