His elder sister's gentleness and patience gave him great comfort.
Later, it wasn't just about mom and dad.
And things at school.
He will tell his eldest sister.
…
The little boy is shy by nature.
The relationship between my parents at home is getting worse.
Cold war, quarrel...
Similar scenes played out before his eyes almost every day.
The content of the quarrel is also very similar.
In such an environment, he became increasingly silent and sensitive.
…
He strives to be transparent.
It's not that he doesn't want to do anything.
But he knew clearly that there was nothing he could do.
…
These two people didn't care about him.
Even if he is their child.
But they just don't care about him.
Naturally, it is even more impossible to change because of his persuasion.
They didn't even bother to act in front of him.
They have always acted very authentically.
…
He actually tried hard.
He was too scared.
The two of them were quarreling so much.
The sound was so loud that his head hurt.
The expressions on both of them were terrible.
What he said was terrible.
He can't stand it.
He had a rare outburst.
At least that's how it seemed to him.
Although the fact is that the sound he made was as small as the sound of a mosquito.
…
No one paid any attention to him.
…
The two also smashed things.
The sound of porcelain breaking on the ground was sharp and harsh.
The flying debris has sharp arcs.
He was hurt.
A small shard of porcelain scratched the back of his hand.
The next second, blood flowed from the thin opening.
…
He cried.
Howling loudly.
He doesn't want his parents to quarrel.
Don't let them fight.
He was so scared.
So scared.
…
The two people were frightened by him.
They saw the bloody back of his hand.
…
Because of his injury, the two men finally stopped their increasingly heated argument.
…
He naively thought things would change.
The result was no.
His wound was roughly cleaned and a band-aid was put on it.
Dad slammed the door and left.
Mom looked cold.
Ask him to stay away from them next time they argue.
Otherwise, no one will care about him if he gets hurt next time.
…
He bit his lower lip.
Otherwise, he was afraid that he would cry again.
Then he got an impatient look from his mother.
…
This attempt completely eliminated the little boy from having any more ideas.
He didn't want to face his parents' indifference to him so directly.
He would rather be like a quail bird, deceiving himself and others.
…
He is used to silence.
In school too.
He is not of a lively nature.
Even his desk mates are always chatting with the person sitting in front of them.
The same goes for borrowing things.
So does asking questions.
But he never looks for his deskmate.
He pretended not to care.
During physical education class, he always goes to the playground alone.
When there was a need for group activities, he would stand awkwardly alone, waiting for the last remaining people to form a team with him.
…
He also wants a friend who can take physical education classes with him, chat with him during recess, and walk to the school gate or further after school... a friend.
…
The desolation at home and the loneliness at school made him increasingly silent.
My heart is suffering almost all the time.
…
In front of others, he can still pretend that nothing is wrong.
Because he knows that even if he shows it, he won't get the response he wants.
He has hit a wall with his parents, so how can he count on others who have a more distant relationship with him?
But the big sister is different.
He could clearly feel his elder sister's concern for him.
He couldn't stand it any longer in front of his eldest sister.
He himself felt embarrassed.
It seems that every time he sees his eldest sister, he is crying, crying and complaining...
He was worried that the eldest sister would get tired of hearing this and find him annoying.
Don't want to...talk to him.
…
He struggled to control himself.
I felt uneasy.
If the eldest sister is as indifferent to him as his parents were...
he……
He didn't know what would happen to him.
terrible.
He didn't even dare to think about it.
…
But he can't always control himself.
He is too depressed at home and at school.
He needs to vent and talk.
…
On this day, there was a spring outing in school.
The primary school spring outing is very simple.
Just go to a scenic spot, and then a few people will spread out the picnic cloth, sit together, eat, drink, laugh and make fun.
…
If not for the spring outing, which requires parents and teachers to ask for leave, the little boy would not want to go for the spring outing at all.
There are also autumn outings.
Unlike other children who have different expectations for spring and autumn outings, he starts to get nervous from the moment he receives the notice.
Spring and autumn outings are fun for other children.
For him, there was only embarrassment and confusion from beginning to end.
…
He talked a lot to his eldest sister.
I also did some mental construction for several days.
But when the day actually came, I saw the scenes in my imagination play out in front of my eyes: other people were talking and laughing, choosing places, spreading picnic blankets...
His whole body stiffened.
Before anyone else noticed him, he turned around and left in a hurry.
He knew that in fact, as long as he said so, the classmates would not mind if there was one more person.
He knows...
But he couldn't speak.
No one took the initiative to invite him.
He can't walk up to someone naturally and then ask with a smile...can he join them too?
He can't do it.
Just thinking about it made him so nervous that he almost fainted.
He struggled for a long time and decided to let himself go.
Don't force yourself.
Moreover, what if he joins?
He was still sitting there alone.
Watching other people laugh and laugh.
In this case……
Just don't join in the first place.
Save him the embarrassment.
Others may also feel uncomfortable.
…
Gradually, the little boy could no longer hear the children's laughter.
He slowed down.
He raised his eyes and looked around.
…
The little boy deliberately chose a place with few people to walk.
This trail is very quiet.
There are lush tree crowns on both sides.
The sunlight faintly outlines the outline of the green leaves.
Falling colorful tree shadows.
ah!
The little boy's eyes lit up.
He saw a seat not far away.
But then, his eyes dimmed.
There is someone on the seat.
It's an old man and a grandma.
…
"!?"
The stumbling under his feet made the little boy's heart skip a beat.
It's just that he didn't have time to react.
His body fell forward.
He had a look of horror on his face.
…
"careful!"
As soon as this sound reached his ears, the little boy felt a force pulling him.
…
"Are you OK?"
…
The little boy blinked.
A look of shock on his face.
…
"Hello."
A hand waved in front of the little boy's face.
"Are you stupid?"
…
"I'm not stupid."
The little boy retorted subconsciously.
As soon as these words were spoken, the little boy felt that his uneasy beating heart slowly stabilized.