In the dean's office, Lei Feng was sitting upright on the sofa, holding a magazine, staring straight at a middle-aged man sitting behind the desk, listening to the other person talking non-stop.
"Lei Xiao, it's not that I won't let you out, it's that you can't go out. With your current situation, what if you get hit by a car on the street after you go out?" The middle-aged man sighed lightly and said: "So
You should stay and recuperate during this period, and you can put off finding a wife for a while. Anyway, whether you go or not, your wife will be there, right? Also, don’t wear my clothes next time."
"Old Huang, this is impossible!" Lei Xiao nodded and said with great seriousness: "It was me who hit the car, not the car that hit me; we can't delay finding a wife; I wear your clothes because they fit you well."
"Okay, okay, even if you crash the car, it will be bad no matter what. Not only is it bad, it will also trigger a butterfly effect that no one can predict..."
"Ah!" Lei Xiao exclaimed, clapped his thigh excitedly and said, "Butterfly effect, I know this."
"Do you know the butterfly effect?" the middle-aged man asked in surprise.
"Of course," Lei Xiao nodded vigorously and said seriously: "In order to save Xiang Fei from the palace, Xiao Yanzi and others lied about turning into butterflies and flying away. When Qianlong learned the truth, he was furious and expelled everyone from the palace. Originally, it was supposed to be
Yongqi, who succeeded the throne, lived in Dali, and the throne was passed to Yongyan, who had mediocre qualifications. Since then, the Qing Dynasty has turned from its peak to decline. This is the butterfly effect!"
The middle-aged man's eyes widened and he stared straight at Lei Xiao. But he smiled and shook his head.
Lei Xiao stood up, sat down on his desk, stared out the window and said with great melancholy: "This is such a confusing world. When we were young, we boys all liked to play with pistols, and girls all liked to play with dolls. But wait
When we grow up, we find that it’s completely reversed. Hey, it’s really confusing and we don’t know where to go. Lao Huang, do you think I should subvert this confusion and let boys continue to play with pistols?”
"You don't need to worry about this issue. Let's talk about your wife." Lao Huang thought for a while and tried: "Actually, you don't have a wife at all. Your wife is completely made up by you."
Upon hearing this, Lei Xiao jumped up, stared at the middle-aged man and shouted loudly: "I really have a wife, my wife's name is Xiao Lu, the chairman of Sino-Ocean International! No, it's on TV and in magazines.
No matter what she says, you don’t believe her.”
Lei Xiao threw the magazine in front of the middle-aged man and nodded hard at the woman on the cover.
Yes, the woman on the cover who is full of intellectual charm is Xiao Lu. Not only Lei Xiao knows it, but almost everyone in the country knows it. Xiao Lu is a star in the business world. She seems to have appeared out of nowhere. She takes an absolutely high profile no matter what.
But how could Xiao Lu be this guy's wife? There is absolutely no possibility!
"Okay, okay, Xiao Lu is your wife, yes, she is your wife." Lao Huang pointed helplessly at his computer screen and said: "But what is this email you sent me? Didn't I tell you not to touch my computer?
?”
On the computer screen was an email, with only one line of English letters that I couldn't read: qs-ihs-in.
Lei Xiao showed an expression like he was looking at an idiot, picked up the computer and turned it over and said, "You should look at it the other way around."
Lao Huang stared blankly at the upside-down line of words, the corners of his mouth twitching, and he didn't know whether to laugh or cry.
"Old Huang, let's discuss it. How about you let me out?" Lei Xiao whispered mischievously: "If you let me out, I will give you Sister Zhang's underwear."
Lei Xiao took out a purple lace panty from his pocket and waved it in front of Lao Huang.
"Where did you get it from?" Lao Huang stared at Lei Xiao.
"You are really a scumbag. I will send you an email, but I won't send an email to Sister Zhang. You went to pee that day, so I used your email address to send an email to Sister Zhang, and I got it."
Lao Huang was stunned for a moment, then quickly checked his mailbox and pulled out an email: Give Lei Xiao a pair of your underwear immediately, otherwise he will be laid off.
"You, you, you..." Lao Huang pointed at Lei Xiao angrily and was speechless for a long time.
"How about it, haven't you always wanted to hide the secret of Sister Zhang? I've got her underwear for you. You can play with the pistol first, hehe." Lei Xiao put the underwear in front of Lao Huang and said seriously.
He stood there and said seriously: "Old Huang, I know you have always thought that I am a psychopath. Today I am here to prove that I am not a psychopath. You can come up with the test questions. I have made all preparations for my wife!"
Staring at the lace underwear, Huang kept taking deep breaths to comfort himself: This is a psychopath, a patient. How can you be on the same level as him?
After taking a few deep breaths, Lao Huang said with a kind smile: "Okay, if you can answer a few of my questions, I will let you out of the hospital."
Lei Xiao nodded vigorously in excitement and stood there in a dignified manner.
"The first question: There is an animal with two legs. Every morning when the sun comes out, it will wake you up until it wakes you up. What kind of animal is it?"
Upon hearing this question, Lei Xiao thought for a moment and replied: "Mom."
After hearing this answer, Lao Huang still had a kind smile on his face, indicating that he would move on to the next question.
"The title "ancestor" is used to address the dead, so what should we call the deceased grandma?"
Lei Xiao didn't even think about it and replied: "Fresh milk!"
"Okay, third question: What countries are there in the world?"
"China and foreign countries."
"..."
"Now that the questions have been answered, can I be discharged from the hospital?" Lei Xiao asked.
Lao Huang pondered, trying to find a way to make Lei Xiao give up the idea of being discharged from the hospital.
At this moment, there was chaos outside, mixed with the screams of nurses.
"What's going on?" Lao Huang stood up suddenly.
"Oh, it's a small matter." Lei Xiao adjusted his collar and said proudly: "I asked you about it when I came here, and they all said they were not crazy, so I let them go. In fact, my work efficiency is
Very good, to tell you the truth, I am actually the most mysterious special forces soldier. Whenever necessary, I will draw my gun and sword instantly, perfectly interpreting the rough and tough temperament of a crazy man!"
"You can be discharged!" Lao Huang stared at Lei Xiao firmly.
"Really? You didn't lie to me?" Lei Xiao looked at Lao Huang in confusion.
"No, you can leave the hospital wearing my clothes and find your wife right now!"
"Are you sure?" Lei Xiao looked distrustful.
"Damn it, how many times do I have to tell you before you are sure!" Lao Huang was furious: "Go, get out of here now, get out of here, get out as far away as possible!!!"
Seeing Lao Huang getting angry, Lei Xiao finally smiled, straightened his clothes and climbed to the window.
"What are you doing!" Lao Huang was shocked. This is the third floor.
"Get out." Lei Xiao said in surprise: "I am a master, and masters never take the stairs."
After saying that, Lei Xiao opened the window and jumped out.
"Oops!" Lei Xiao's voice came from downstairs: "I forgot to bring my parachute!"
…
Finally walked out of the damn mental hospital, the outside world is so beautiful. Lei Feng took out a cigarette, took one in his mouth, and started smoking.
He has always been a very orthodox person. Now that he is admitted to the hospital, he has to come and go easily, and everything has to follow a procedure, right? But the food in the mental hospital is really good, and the mentally ill people help him every day
The ones that squeal for meat and cigarettes.
Although I feel that the world is beautiful after I came out, I feel a little disappointed. Hey, I miss my buddies in the courtyard.
His eyes kept wandering around the streets of Zhonghai. Lei Feng felt that although Zhonghai had more people and cars, it was much larger than Huaihai City. Not only that, the beauties wore less clothes. They had big breasts and big butts, and they could be seen at a glance.
People are happy to heaven.
"Lin Chuhao! Are you worthy of me? Do you think you are worthy of me? Wuwuwu..."
"Snapped!"
There was a crisp sound, followed by a man yelling: "Have you had enough?!
Not far ahead, a young man and woman in fashionable clothes had an argument. People surrounded them, leaving a large space in front of the shopping mall.
Change of sentiment! Typical change of sentiment!
Seeing this scene, Lei Feng's face tightened, he threw away the cigarette butt and squeezed in. He wanted to see how other people's divorces were done, and whether it was the same as his own and Xiao Lu's divorce. Hey, when he thought of his wife
I feel heartbroken, looking for a wife... I'm already divorced...
"What are you doing? Why are you squeezing?" A man wearing a reporter's uniform shouted at Lei Feng who was squeezing in: "All the idlers should step aside!"
"How can I watch the show if I don't squeeze in?" Lei Feng glared at this man.
"Don't delay our work!"
"Work? There is such a big camera hidden in front of the public. Is this called work?" Lei Feng pointed at the three cameras running, his eyes widened and said: "Morality, morality, your morality has been eaten by dogs? Where is your sense of public morality?
?Ah? How can this society be in such a declining state??"
Lei Feng pushed the other person away, looked at the quarreling young man and woman, and muttered to himself: Huh? Why does this girl look a bit like Xiao Momo?
"Snapped!"
There was another crisp sound, and the young and beautiful woman was slapped hard by the man again.
Following the inertia, the woman's cheek turned sharply in the direction of Lei Feng.
Seeing the woman's entire face, Lei Feng became angry. He rushed in like a German tank and punched the young man in the face hard.
"Bang!"
The fist hit hard with the cheekbone, and the young man floated backwards like a kite with a broken string, lying heavily on the ground with blood spurting from his mouth.
"You scolded the guy next door!" Lei Feng hugged the woman and shouted loudly at the man who fell to the ground: "Even Xiao Momo dared to bully me. Don't you know she is a patient? Don't you know she is my wife?
Friends! Grass!"
Lei Feng spat on the ground, pointed at the camera crew and said: "Get the hell out of here, if you dare to take secret photos of me again, I will destroy you!"
After he finished cursing, Lei Feng stood there proudly, with a ferocious look on his face, glaring at the face of a middle-aged man sitting under a sun umbrella. He suddenly felt that this guy looked familiar, as if he had seen him on TV.
"Leifeng!" The woman in his arms made a surprised voice.
The woman was Mo Qingyan. She was initially frightened by the people rushing in. When she saw it was Lei Feng, her face was filled with surprise.
"Little Mo Mo, don't be afraid." Lei Feng hugged Mo Qingyan and said in an extremely gentle tone: "There are always many scum in this world who cannot be called men, but I am not. You know, if this world
There is a real man in the world, and it must be me. Maybe your life path is no longer long, but I promise to accompany you all the way..."
Suddenly, a tangle of pain and melancholy appeared on Lei Feng's face. He slowly glanced at the stunned crowd in front of him, and said in the deepest and most magnetic voice: "Maybe this world can always deduce the impetuousness that makes us unable to endure.
But I believe there are always people who stick to our bottom line and weave a cradle of dreams that belong to us. To be honest with you, Mo Mo doesn’t have many days left, so please hold your hands high..."
As he spoke, Lei Feng choked up. He gently raised his left hand to cover his face, but it gave people a feeling that there was nowhere to cover his face. A little sparkle flashed in his eyes, clearly revealing a man's plea to put down his body.
And a plea to this society, as well as uncontrollable sadness, and anxious hope.
No one's eyes can express these emotions at the same time, and when these emotions are intertwined and presented in his eyes, everyone can see that this man who beats people whenever he comes up actually has a heart as fragile as glass.
His violence is just an appearance, and his violence is just the deepest interpretation of love.
The middle-aged man sitting under the umbrella stood up and stared at Lei Feng's face.
"Xiao Momo, didn't you say you want me to act in a movie?" Lei Feng said to Mo Qingyan in the voice of only two people: "Is there any more drama? I have just been discharged from the hospital, and I am still in this unfamiliar place.
Money... We are friends after all. For the sake of me finding a doctor for you, even if you don't help me make money, you can still lend me a thousand or eight hundred yuan, right? I know I have been in prison, but
…”
Suddenly, the middle-aged man pointed at Lei Feng and shouted: Who is this! Who is this! Who is this person!!!"
Hearing the roar, Lei Feng's eyes sharpened, and he protected Mo Qingyan behind him, staring at him fiercely.
The middle-aged man stared at Lei Feng's eyes carefully again, and rushed forward in two steps to hold Lei Feng's shoulders. His eyes were filled with intense heat, which made Lei Feng feel a little embarrassed.
"Comrade!" Lei Feng bit out his words and said helplessly: "Why should men make things difficult for men..."
"Fuck me! I am Wang Jiawei! You have potential, no, you are a born actor!!!"
"But I only like women, and I won't fuck with you..." Lei Feng took a step back in fear while protecting Mo Qingyan.
"Brother! Make a movie with me. You are a natural actor. I am in need of an actor like you right now!"
Lei Feng looked at the middle-aged man with a familiar face, then looked at the three cameras, and finally realized: Make another movie?
"Ahem..." Lei Feng pretended to cough twice, stared at Wang Jiawei extremely seriously and said, "Are there five insurances and one housing fund? Is there a car allowance? Is there a food allowance? Is there a phone allowance? Is there a clothing allowance?
?How much unemployment benefits and housing provident funds are paid? How many paid vacations are there in a year? Is the labor contract reliable? Ah, by the way, I am more suitable to play a gangster, a robber or a bandit. In fact,
What I'm best at is feature films. Is Chisato Shoda available? Where's Sora Aoi? If not, I can partner with Murasaki Ayano... By the way, you're the director who made the Golden Cudgel vs. Jade Futon, right? Seriously,
Your steps are too slow. You need to watch more Tokyo Fever. Movies like that are the highest expression of art..."
Wang Jiawei stared at Lei Feng, the light in his eyes getting more and more intense, like a poor and crazy beggar seeing a golden mountain...
