After two more bottles of wine, she seemed to be in a trance, and her voice began to be slurred.
"Actually, I have known it for a long time, but I can't believe it. I really don't believe it."
I didn't quite understand what she meant, so I looked at her with confusion.
She grabbed the wine glass and clinked another glass with me, and asked me in a daze: "Do you think there are really shortcuts in life?"
"Yes!" I replied uncertainly.
"Is there any?" She seemed to really want to know the answer.
I thought about it seriously and replied: "There must be a shortcut."
"Huh? You think so too?" She tilted her head and looked at me, with deep disappointment in her eyes.
I didn't know what she meant by asking me this, and I was a little embarrassed for a moment.
After a pause, I continued: "There must be shortcuts in life, but getting something through shortcuts will definitely come at the cost of losing more things. In other words, in the end, the gains will outweigh the losses."
She smiled, nodded with satisfaction, grabbed the wine glass and touched it with me.
After drinking the glass of wine, Zhou Mo seemed to have finished drinking it. She supported her heavy head with her left hand, closed her eyes slightly, and her voice began to choke.
"He and I were classmates in high school, and we were roommates. At that time, his math scores were very good. I would ask him for advice every day after school. As time went by, we became familiar with each other. We agreed to take the same university exam together. Every winter at that time,
She would help me get hot water, and would put my hands into his arms. When he was around, the food would always be hot. During my menstrual period, he would also help me make brown sugar water, and would
Every festival gives me a different surprise.”
As she spoke, Zhou Mo suddenly laughed at herself, and said with tears in her smile: "Isn't such a man very good? And is it also very happy to be the girlfriend of such a good man?"
"Yeah." I nodded and asked her, "So, you've been together since high school?"
"Yes, if he said that he had no intentions, I wouldn't believe it myself. But he has no sincerity at all, and I am too pitiful."
As she spoke, she took another sip of wine, and tears overflowed from her eyes again.
"Don't drink any more!"
She pushed my hand away and continued: "Later, after the college entrance examination, the results came out. We were not in the same university, so we were separated. I don't know whether it was because time and distance could not stand the test, or because of things.
That’s how it was originally. Gradually, I found that I was suddenly living among lies and deception.”
She sighed and continued:
"This made me very painful, angry, and confused. I even began to doubt all the doubts and clues in those past, not only doubting the original him, but also doubting myself. I became no longer confident and made myself exhausted.
, the pain is endless.”
Looking at Zhou Mo who was so sad at this time, I seemed to see another her. It turned out that she was not as free and strong as she looked on the outside.
But after hearing this, I didn't hear why they separated?
I couldn't help but curiously asked her: "When did you break up?"
"Strictly speaking, it was today, just an hour ago, in the bar." Her eyes were already a little wandering.
"Then why did you just say that we separated when we were in college?"
She smiled bitterly and said: "We didn't really separate at that time. We still kept in touch, but gradually I found something was wrong with him. Some friends even saw him going shopping and watching movies with other women."
"It's been like this, but you haven't broken up with him yet?"
"Because I didn't see it, and every time when I asked about these things, he would find a topic to make me believe the woman in his love. It's really stupid."
As she said this, she laughed to herself again.
"You are too persistent and too humble, so you are hurt again and again."
"You don't know, you really don't know that all of this is an illusion, including the fact that he tutored me in math in high school for a purpose. His goal is not me but me, or to be more precise, my family background
."
At this point, Zhou Mo's tears began to pour out.
As if using a lot of effort, he continued: "Or to put it another way, he has someone he likes. And what we call love is just his unscrupulous means to achieve his goals and develop his career."
She seemed to want to laugh at herself, but the smile she forced out was uglier than crying.
I was silent, picked up the wine bottle, and met her again.
"Drink." Zhou Mo said boldly.
"Perhaps everyone's life has many unsatisfactory places. Don't think about it so much. If you have wine today, you can get drunk now!" I sighed.
Zhou Mo reached out and slapped the table and said loudly: "From now on, I will live a good life! I will no longer be troubled by those stupid loves and let all the heartbroken people in the world go to hell!"
As she spoke, she raised her neck and drank it all in one gulp.
I looked at her, took out a cigarette, lit one, and took a strong puff, sucking the poisonous gas into the bifurcated trachea and into the large and small alveoli.
"Give me a cigarette." Zhou Mo stretched out his hand to me and said.
I looked at her, said nothing, took out a cigarette, handed it to her, and helped her light it.
When she took the first puff, she choked on the strong smoke and coughed until tears flowed out.
After she took the cigarette out of her mouth, she looked at it with disgust and complained: "Why is it so difficult to smoke? Why do you feel so good when you smoke?"
"Hahaha" I kept laughing.
"Laughing, is it so funny?" She rolled her eyes at me and said.
"It's quite funny. If you don't know how to smoke, why don't you imitate adults?" I said jokingly.
After she put out her cigarette, she stared at me provocatively and said, "There is really no good man, and there is not a word of truth in his mouth."
"Hey, hey, you can't just generalize, can you?"
She snorted softly, looked at me with misty eyes, and said with a smile: "Are you a good person?"
"Of course I am." After saying that, I suddenly realized something was wrong.
Zhou Mo laughed and said, "You are a thing? Then what are you?"
I hurriedly waved my hands and defended: "I'm not a thing, I'm a human being!"
"That's right, you are nothing!"
She looked at me and smiled brightly, exposing her red lips and white teeth, as if she had forgotten what happened tonight.
I let out a long sigh and said: "I mean, I am not a lifeless thing, I am a person with flesh and blood, thoughts and feelings!"
Zhou Mo said "Oh" thoughtfully, and said with a smile: "Thank you for reminding me. If you didn't tell me, I wouldn't know you are a human."
"Hey, did you do this on purpose?" I stared at her with my eyes rounded.
She stuck out her tongue at me and said naughtily: "Okay, okay, I'm sorry! Have a drink."
After she finished speaking, she reached out and grabbed the wine bottle again, looking so bold and cute.