I had planned to tell Zhou Mo that I had stomach cancer, but now was not the time, so we just had an argument and were so angry.
I need to give her some space and time to calm down. I also want to be alone for a while, even if it's just to relax.
It was Chinese New Year and I didn’t know where I was going, so I just hailed a taxi on the side of the road.
As soon as I got on the bus, the driver asked me: "Brother, where are you going?"
"have no idea."
"What?"
I took out my mobile phone, scanned the QR code on the car, paid the fare of one hundred yuan, and then said: "With this one hundred yuan, you can take me around for a while."
The driver looked at me strangely, but said nothing and started the car.
I was sitting in the back seat of the taxi, leaning my head against the window, looking at the city streets, pedestrians, and traffic in a daze.
Gradually I felt numb and even developed a feeling of resistance.
I don't know if it was a wise decision to marry Zhou Mo. At the beginning, I really only thought about saving An Lan and nothing else.
But now it seems that the marriage between Zhou Mo and I was wrong because she didn’t want to abide by our original agreement at all.
Now that she is pregnant, it means that all our plans will be shattered.
I didn't expect things to develop like this, it's really worrying!
"Brother, this is the Chinese New Year, aren't you out of love?" I don't know how long the taxi driver had been driving, but the taxi driver suddenly asked me.
I suddenly came back to my senses, smiled and said, "Do you think you can still be in love at my age?"
The driver glanced at me in the rearview mirror again and said with a smile: "I don't think you are very old. You are not older than me."
"How old are you?"
"I'm 34."
I smiled and said, "Then you're not much older than me, I'm 31."
"Oh! That's really not much older than you," he paused for a moment, then said, "Is that a conflict with the family?"
"Uh," I pondered for a moment and said, "That's right."
The driver is a very talkative person, and he immediately said to me: "Oh, brother, to be honest, every family has difficulties in reciting sutras. My family's situation is similar. Maybe, it is more difficult for me than you."
His last words made me feel that he really encountered a problem, and it was not an ordinary problem.
This made me suddenly want to chat with this unknown taxi driver for a while, so I said to him: "I think there is nothing more terrifying than death, right?"
"Yes, you are right, and this is the problem I am facing now."
What he said surprised me. Does that mean he is terminally ill like me?
Suddenly I seemed to have found a friend with whom I had a common topic, and then I said: "Does your family know about this?"
"I know, but what's the use? You don't have to carry it alone."
I quite agree with what he said. Birth, old age, illness and death are one's own business and have nothing to do with anyone else.
I sighed softly again: "How hard it is for you to come out to drive a car during the Chinese New Year!"
The driver smiled bitterly and said: "If I don't drive a car, I won't have money. If I don't have money, I won't be able to pay for medical expenses and surgery, so I have to drive a car!"
Although he said this very easily, in my opinion this is reality, a reality that everyone living on the edge of the city must face.
Fortunately for me, I have a company, so at least I am not short of medical expenses.
But once my disease is diagnosed, it is basically impossible to save it.
I let out a long sigh and asked him, "Can I ask, what disease do you suffer from?"
"Me?" The driver was stunned for a moment, then suddenly smiled, "I'm not sick. You misunderstood. He's a member of my family."
I suddenly felt a little embarrassed, as if he really didn't say he was sick, but I just thought I had found someone with whom I had a common topic.
I smiled awkwardly and said, "I'm sorry! I thought you were the same as me, so"
"Brother, what's wrong with you?" He glanced at me in the rearview mirror again.
I hesitated and said, "Forget it, it's nothing."
The driver seemed to see my distress, and then said to me: "If it can be cured, go for it. Don't give up every hope that you will be like my son and wife who are lying in the hospital now and sold to help them treat their illnesses."
The house came to Chengdu from my hometown just to treat their illnesses. I will not give up as long as there is another glimmer of hope."
When he said this to me, there was obviously light in his eyes. It was obvious that he believed in the existence of light and believed that everything would be fine.
But for me, will everything get better?
Just when I was thinking this, a WeChat notification suddenly came from my phone. I thought it was a WeChat message from Zhou Mo asking where I was.
But when I took out my phone and looked, it was a message from An Lan.
She only sent me "Happy New Year", these four simple words.
I immediately replied: "An Lan, where are you? I want to see you, is that okay?"
After a moment, she replied: "Now?"
"Yes, right now."
"But is it convenient for you? What will Zhou Mo think if you come out now?"
"Don't think about what she will think. I just want to see you now. Tell me where you are."
It took about two minutes this time before An Lan finally sent me an address.
I immediately told the driver the address and asked him to go to this place.
After arriving at An Lan's location, I said to the driver: "Thank you very much, master. I also wish your wife and children will be free from the disease as soon as possible, and happy New Year!"
"Tongle." After the driver said back to me, I opened the car door and headed towards the square where An Lan was.
I don’t know why in the square where people usually come and go, there are not many people during the Chinese New Year.
So far away I saw An Lan. She was standing under the huge display screen in the square, making her look tiny.
I ran towards her as fast as I could. As soon as I saw her, I felt at ease in my heart.
She was still wearing the red coat she saw in her hometown today, and a pair of slim-fitting jeans.
This combination looks strange at first glance, but when worn on An Lan, it doesn't feel out of place at all.
"Why did you come out? It's time for dinner now, why do you come out?"
Before she could finish speaking, I interrupted her and said, "Stop talking about her. There are only two of us here now. I just want to stay quietly with you for a while."
An Lan is a smart woman. She noticed something immediately, and then said to me: "Did we have a quarrel? Because of what? Is it because you saw me in your hometown today?"
"Don't think too much about it. There was no quarrel. She and I are in this state."
After a pause, I said again: "Okay, let's not talk about this anymore, let's go for a walk."
An Lan nodded slightly, and then walked side by side in the square with me.
During this Chinese New Year, many stores were closed and there were very few people on the street. This made me feel even more like An Lan and I were the only ones left in the world.
"Shall we go have something to eat?" I asked her after walking for a while.
An Lan looked at the nearby restaurants and said, "The doors are closed, what can we eat?"
I thought for a while and suddenly came up with a very interesting idea, so I took her hand and ran forward, saying to her as I ran, "I'll take you to a good place."