After I separated from An Lan, I returned to the place where I lived with Zhou Mo alone.
I feel like a prison here, imprisoning my whole body and soul.
Standing downstairs, I didn't go upstairs immediately because I hadn't figured out how to face Zhou Mo yet.
It's really hard to make a choice. The child is innocent. If she really wants to abort it, it will save her life anyway!
But if this child is born, it will be unfair to the child, because he will not have a father when he is born, and he will not have a complete family.
Thinking of these things, I felt very depressed, and then I lit a cigarette in my depression.
I really want to quit smoking, but when I feel irritable, I hope to rely on nicotine to numb myself.
After smoking the cigarette, I finally went upstairs.
As soon as I got home, I heard a noise coming from the kitchen.
It was Zhou Mo who was cooking the food, and she looked as if nothing had happened.
When he saw that I was back, he smiled at me and said to me: "You're back. Go wash your hands and you'll be able to eat soon."
Judging from her tone and expression, it seemed that she was no longer angry.
But my heart is still heavy, as if it has been filled with lead.
When I went to the bathroom and washed my hands and came out, Zhou Mo had already put the last fried dish on the table and greeted me, "It's time to eat."
After serving the rice and sitting at the dining table, I didn't say a word or even make eye contact with her.
Zhou Mo also put a piece of pork ribs into my bowl and said to me: "Try it and see how the pork ribs I cooked are like?"
I lowered my head and ate quietly. I couldn't taste anything at all. I wasn't even hungry.
Because before this, An Lan and I had eaten so many snack kebabs.
Zhou Mo kept staring at me and after eating the piece of pork ribs, he asked me expectantly: "How does it taste?"
I was stunned for a moment, then nodded mechanically and said, "It's delicious."
Zhou Mo laughed immediately when he heard this, then put another piece into my bowl and said, "If it tastes good, eat more."
"Zhou Mo." I suddenly called her.
"Um?"
"I want to talk to you about the kids, I think"
Before I could finish speaking, she interrupted me and said, "Let's eat first and we'll talk later."
"I don't know, I'm not in the mood to eat at all." I put down my chopsticks and looked at her seriously.
Zhou Mo was still eating, and she looked as if nothing had happened.
It wasn't until I stared at her for a while that she finally put down her chopsticks and said to me, "Do you care that much?"
"Can you not care? This is such a big deal!"
"Then do you want me to abort the child or give birth to it?"
"I suggest aborting it." After a pause, I said to her, "I know this is a life, but if this child is born, it will affect him for the rest of his life, and he will hate us for the rest of his life."
"Okay, I understand." She said calmly, picked up the chopsticks again and continued eating.
I didn’t quite understand what she meant, so I asked her again: “Then do you agree to abort it?”
"I'm not pregnant at all." She said calmly.
"Wha, what?" I looked at her with wide eyes.
"I'm not pregnant."
I took a breath, and my brain suddenly became confused. After being stunned for a moment, I said again: "Then what happened to the pregnancy test stick you showed me before?"
"That's not a pregnancy test stick at all, it's an ovulation test strip. The parallel bars represent that I'm ovulating these two days."
I don't quite understand this.
But Zhou Mo's words surprised me enough. I even didn't believe it and asked her: "Real or false?"
"Really, even when you were drunk that day, I didn't do anything with you."
"Then why did you say that to lie to me? Do you know how nervous I was? Like I made a huge mistake."
Zhou Mo smiled lightly and said, "I said this just to see your reaction. I already know your reaction, so it's okay."
"Are you really not pregnant?!" I still couldn't believe it and asked her again.
"It's really not true. If you really don't believe it, we can go to the hospital for a checkup now. I didn't want to give birth to the child without telling you. It's not a problem at all."
She said it very seriously and her expression was very serious. She didn't seem to be lying to me.
She wouldn't lie to me about something like this, but she had lied to me once before, so of course I had to ask clearly.
I took a long breath and finally said to her: "I know you said this to see if I am willing, but Zhou Mo, please wake up, our marriage is just a scam."
"You think it's a scam, but to me, this is my first marriage in my life. I want a real life, do you understand?"
"I know what you said, but please stop talking about the child. This is simply impossible."
"Don't worry, I won't say anything anymore. We will divorce in two months."
I didn't say anything anymore, I just hoped that she would do what she said.
Even though her pregnancy was fake, I still wasn't in the mood to eat this meal, and I wasn't hungry either.
After finishing the rice in the bowl, I left the table, told her I would wash the dishes later, and then sat alone on the balcony.
I really don't understand why she said this to see my reaction?
Do you really want to have a child with me?
This is a terrible thought. You have to know that I have only lived with her for a short time. If it had been a long time, it would be okay!
When I was lost in thought, Zhou Mo's voice came from behind me: "Did you run out for more than two hours just now to find An Lan?"
I looked back at her and was shocked because she was standing straight behind me with a mask on her face.
I took a deep breath, and after I recovered a little, I said to her: "I hope we don't interfere with each other's affairs."
"I don't have to interfere with your affairs, and I can't stop you from whoever you want to go to, but I only have one request, and that is that you cannot go to An Lan during the period of marriage with me."
"Why?"
"I don't want to make it too clear to you. In short, you can't go to her anymore. After we divorce, you will spend a lot of time with her, and I only have these two months."
She is trapping me, making me feel like a prison here.
Now An Lan has been released from the detention center, but I have entered another prison.
This feeling makes me feel inexplicably irritable. I just don't like to be restricted by all kinds of restrictions. I like freedom and don't like to be imprisoned.
But right now, I can only agree to her unreasonable request, just because I owe her.
After Zhou Mo left behind me, I lit up a cigarette and started smoking.
I don’t want to quit smoking anymore, because there is no way to quit. Besides, I am a dying person. Even if I quit smoking now, it is too late.
What's more, I have stomach cancer, not lung cancer.