I didn't expect that An Lan was still thinking about this. I just wanted to block Chen Min's mouth, so I said that on purpose.
When An Lan asked me this question now, I was a bit unable to answer.
After a long pause, he replied: "You are so smart, can't you see what I mean?"
"You think it's annoying for Min'er to keep talking about this, and you deliberately said it to shut her up?"
I nodded and said "Yeah".
An Lan also said lightly "Oh", and then we stopped talking.
We were silent until she sent me back to my apartment. After getting off the car, I said to her: "Go home slowly. Send me a WeChat message when you get home."
"Yeah." She responded calmly, and then left.
I watched her car's taillights disappear before walking towards her residence.
I'm not stupid, so I can naturally tell that An Lan was in a bad mood along the way.
I don’t know if it was because I told her that we were a couple to shut up Chen Min’s mouth, which made her a little unhappy.
It should be, because I didn't get her permission.
After I got home and took a shower, I picked up my phone and prepared to apologize to her.
When I turned on my phone, I saw that she had sent me two messages three minutes ago.
The content of the first message is: I'm home.
The second message shows a 59-second voice message.
I clicked on it and listened, and it turned out to be a song she sang.
It's "Summer Wind" sung by Wen Lan.
This song is very nice, and she sang it very nicely. Although her notes were a little off, her voice was so nice that I was immediately intoxicated.
Although she only sang half of it, there was a sentence she said at the end: "This is my favorite song. If you don't sing it well, don't laugh at me."
After listening to the whole speech, I laughed. I didn't expect that she actually sang to me.
Even though it was not sung in front of me, I was very happy.
After lighting a cigarette, I replied: "The singing is very nice, I still want to listen."
"Let's talk about it next time!" She quickly replied, followed by a 'naughty' expression.
I asked her again: "Are you in a bad mood when you sent me back?"
"No." She replied simply.
"There must be. Let me guess, is it because I said you were my girlfriend to prevaricate Chen Min and make you unhappy?"
"no."
"It must be true. I apologized to you. I really didn't mean it, and... I also hope it's true."
"What hope is true?"
I suddenly felt guilty, and after a while, I shook my hands and replied, "I said I hope to be a couple with you, and it's true. Maybe I'm just fanciful! Don't be angry, that's all I said."
It took a while for An Lan to reply: "Oh, go to bed early, it's getting late."
I didn't reply anymore. After I put down the phone, I thought a lot again.
I still can't fall asleep. I have smoked three cigarettes in a row. I find that I have been suffering from insomnia recently.
I don’t know how long it took, but my cell phone suddenly rang.
I was very surprised who called me at this time. When I looked at the phone, it turned out to be An Lan.
I'm confused why she called me again?
After decisively connecting, An Lan said to me directly before I could say anything: "Let's fall in love!"
This sentence made me stunned, and my mind went blank.
An Lan didn't speak anymore, but her irregular rhythmic breathing kept coming from the other end of the phone.
It seemed like a century had passed before I came to my senses and said, "You...what did you say?"
"I said, don't you hope it's true? Then let's fall in love!"
It was like my brain was short-circuited, and my reaction became slow for a while.
After a long time, I replied: "No, this is not good...it's not good for you."
"Why are you treating me badly? Tell me."
"I've been divorced, and I still..."
Before I could finish speaking, An Lan interrupted me: "So what? I think I like you a little bit, and I don't know why."
"You are just impulsive. You don't even know what you like about me."
"Do you need a reason to like someone? Anyway, I have never felt this way about any man. I just want to see you every day."
An Lan's directness once again caught me off guard. In my impression, she has always been a relatively reserved and dignified woman.
I really didn't expect that she would tell me her inner thoughts so directly. This was far beyond my impression of her.
Still in my silence, An Lan continued: "Did you know? I will leave in one month. Do you want me to stay?"
"Where are you going?"
"London."
"Why?"
"I have to go due to work arrangements."
"Can I not go?"
"Okay, I need a reason, and you are the reason for me to stay."
"But……"
"Stop it, I know your concerns. You are married, your family conditions are not good, and you have your own shortcomings...so you don't want to affect me, am I right?"
I was silent for a while and replied: "Yes, do you really not mind this?"
"Why should I mind? It's normal for you to have been married, and it's not your fault that you got divorced. Does your poor family situation have anything to do with us being together? And you have stains on your body, and it's not you.
It's caused, and it can be completely erased...so your worries are unnecessary."
I suddenly felt that I was really worrying too much. A calm person like An Lan opened his heart to me. If I were still so timid, I would be really unmanly.
So after lighting another cigarette, I finally gritted my teeth and replied: "Okay, let's be together!"
I could clearly feel that An Lan let out a long sigh of relief, and then said in a somewhat relaxed tone: "Then you are not allowed to abandon me in the future. I am a very insecure person."
"I definitely won't, it's just..." I really wanted to tell her that I no longer have the courage to love someone with my heart.
During my pause, An Lan asked me again: "What's wrong?"
I took a strong drag on the cigarette and said truthfully: "I want to tell you that when Xiao Wei and I were together, I used up all my feelings. I'm afraid that I won't be able to love you with all my strength in the future."
After finishing speaking, An Lan fell silent.
I then said to her: "I'm sorry, I know it's not the right time to mention Xiao Wei, but I just want to tell you the truth."
"It's okay. This proves that you are a dedicated person. In fact, I'm quite scared. You and Xiao Wei divorced less than three months ago, and I've been with you. I'm afraid that you haven't completely come out of it yet."
"Yes, I haven't completely come out of it yet, but sooner or later I will come out of this shadow."
"Well, I will help you, and I will be your girlfriend from now on."
I don't know why, but I can't laugh. I'm really scared.
But An Lan is not afraid, so what am I afraid of?
Just like when I pursued Xiao Wei, there were so many suitors around her at that time, but I still pursued her without hesitation.
Now I am much more mature and a bit timid.
Finally, I smiled and said to An Lan: "Actually, I really want to know what you like about me? What is it about me that attracts you?"
I have always believed that there is no love without reason in this world, and there is no hate without reason.
Whether you love someone or hate someone, you all need a reason.