I suddenly developed a fear of women, they are so difficult to understand.
I don’t want to be hurt by a woman. It’s good to have this experience once, but if it happens too many times, it will make me doubt the whole world.
I even feel that I shouldn't be alive.
Until there was a knock on the door: "Boss Chen, do you want breakfast?"
After hearing Aunt Wang's voice, I came back from this depressed state.
I forced myself to support my hungover body and said, "I won't eat."
"Are you going to have lunch at home today? What kind of food should I buy?"
Aunt Wang asks me and An Lan for our opinions every day, which has become a habit.
But at this moment, I was so bored that I shouted angrily for no reason: "I said I don't want to eat, so don't ask anymore!"
"I'm sorry, Boss Chen." Aunt Wang left after saying that.
I closed my eyes and held my hair with both hands, not wanting to see myself like this.
I was dressed roughly and subconsciously slapped my head hard, feeling vaguely uncomfortable.
For the whole day, I just sat in the room without eating or drinking, and didn't even show an expression.
But this choice of self-paralysis did not make me feel any better.
I still think of An Lan and the little things between us. I still don’t want to believe that we got divorced like this.
I feel like anyone can get divorced, but An Lan and I are unlikely to get divorced.
But this day came so violently that I was caught off guard.
My heart also fell into a huge abyss full of darkness. I couldn't find any sense of security and fell into great fear.
And the pain is like millions of ants, gnawing at the most vulnerable parts of my heart.
…
After spending another night in a hazy state, when I woke up the next morning, I finally felt a strong sense of hunger.
I began to overeat, eating whatever I saw, regardless of whether it tasted good or not, or even whether I could eat it.
Even the cream in the refrigerator was stuffed into his mouth in a confused manner, and then he poured red wine into his mouth.
When Aunt Wang saw me like this, she hurriedly came over to stop me. She said to me: "Boss Chen, what's wrong with you? Don't eat like this. I'll cook right away when you're hungry."
"Boss Chen, did you have a quarrel with An Lan? She hasn't come back since yesterday, and the three children haven't come back either. What's going on?"
I was suddenly stunned again. Now I can't hear the name An Lan.
I turned to look at Aunt Wang and said, "She won't come back. I divorced her."
Aunt Wang looked at me very surprised and said: "Boss Chen, this is not a joke!"
"Do you think I'm joking now?"
"Why...why? It's so sudden, isn't it good?"
I smiled desperately and said, "I don't know, and I don't want to know either."
Aunt Wang sighed softly, her expression a little complicated.
I sat on the sofa, took a sip of water to relax, then lit another cigarette and said to Aunt Wang: "Aunt Wang, you have worked hard during this time in our house, and I am very grateful to you... But now, you also I saw it, I’ll pay you my salary.”
Of course Aunt Wang knew what I meant. She came to me and said anxiously: "Boss Chen, I don't know what happened between you and An Lan, but as someone who has experienced it, I can give you a piece of advice. What's the point?" You can sit down and talk about things slowly, and you can talk about anything."
I smiled bitterly: "We can't talk anymore. We're already divorced. She has also left this city."
"Hey! You really don't understand what these young people are doing now. In our time, no matter what was broken, we could repair it and still use it... But now, if something is broken, just replace it with a new one. The feelings of young people
Same thing."
Although Aunt Wang is a housekeeper with little education, as someone who has experienced this, her words are very pleasing to the ear.
But I also want to know why, and I also want to sit down and talk to her.
Did she give me a chance?
I felt suffocated, then shook my head desperately and said, "No more, Aunt Wang won't talk about this anymore, I can't tell her clearly."
As I said that, I took out my phone, opened Aunt Wang's WeChat account, and transferred 50,000 yuan directly to Aunt Wang.
Then, I said to her again: "Aunt Wang, I have transferred the money, please take a look."
Aunt Wang took out her mobile phone and frowned: "Boss Chen, why did you transfer so many to me? Did you press the wrong button?"
"Take it, you have worked hard in our family this year without complaint. My two children would not be so smooth without your care... Take it, I am not short of this money."
"But, Boss Chen, this is too much, so I'd better give it back to you."
I raised my hand and said, "No, you really don't need it. Just take it. Didn't I hear you say that the house in my hometown needs to be renovated before? I'm just going to help you."
"Boss Chen..." Aunt Wang looked at me with an embarrassed face and said, "Thank you, Boss Chen."
I forced a smile and said, "You're welcome, I still feel very sorry."
Aunt Wang shook her head and said: "Boss Chen, I know there are some things you don't want to hear, but I still want to say... I've been watching you and An Lan, and I've never seen your feelings like this. You can't be like this."
There must be a reason why we left after we said we were going to leave. You should have a good chat with her."
I nodded numbly and then closed my eyes.
Aunt Wang didn't say anything more. She went back to her room to pack her things.
By the time Aunt Wang spoke to me, she had already dragged two suitcases to the door. She said to me: "Boss Chen, I will leave then. There is still some food in the refrigerator. You can warm it up and eat it in the evening."
Already."
"Okay, walk slowly, Aunt Wang."
Aunt Wang nodded, as if she wanted to say something more, but she hesitated, and then left dragging two suitcases.
After everyone left, the huge villa became quiet for an instant, so quiet that I seemed to be able to hear my own chaotic heartbeat.
I still didn't do anything, I just sat on the sofa, sometimes lying down, sometimes sitting...
The ashtray was gradually filled, and the whole room became smoky.
I have never felt this way before. Even when I was betrayed by Xiao Wei, I never felt so uncomfortable.
Could it be that this is what it feels like to be out of love?
"Ding dong, ding dong..."
Suddenly there was another knock on the door, and I raised Mr. Chen's head.
Thinking that Aunt Wang had forgotten something, she walked to the door and opened it.
Standing at the door were Gao Sheng and Chen Dajiang, both of whom looked at me blankly.
Chen Dajiang spoke first: "Brother Feng, you...what's going on with you? How did you end up like this?"
"What happened? I haven't been able to get through to you in the past two days." Gao Sheng echoed.
"Are you guys okay?" I looked at the two of them with dull eyes.
"We're asking you, what's going on with you?" Gao Sheng said again.
"Let's talk after we come in first."
As soon as the two of them entered the room, they smelled the smell of tobacco. Gao Sheng frowned and looked at me and said, "Boss, what's going on with you? Why do you smoke so many cigarettes?"
"You came just in time, I also have something to tell you."
I sat on the sofa and picked up the cigarette case, only to find that there was no cigarette in it.
So, I said to them again: "Give me a cigarette."
Neither of them took out their cigarettes. Chen Dajiang said, "Brother Feng, stop smoking. Look at your ashtray. How much have you smoked?"
"Where is sister-in-law? Is sister-in-law not at home?" Gao Sheng asked again.
I shook my head and said feebly: "Gone, everyone is gone...I am the only one left."