Sitting in the car, I didn't leave for a long time. Looking at this brand new company, I had never even gone there to work.
Now that I am about to leave, I naturally feel a lot of reluctance in my heart.
Humans are all emotional animals, even if they stay with a kitten or puppy for a long time, they will still have feelings.
In the future, I may never step into a shopping mall again. From now on, I will take off my suit and become an ordinary person who has nothing to do with the world.
I am indeed just an ordinary person. All I have in these years is the help of friends and a little bit of luck.
When I got home, I simply packed up. I didn't plan to bring many things. I only brought a few changes of clothes and some books I liked to read.
I don't even plan to bring a mobile phone, I plan to use cash and cut off all contact with the outside world.
However, I really haven’t thought about where to go.
I thought of the most unreliable method, which was to check Douyin, the first place where the short video appeared, even if it was abroad.
So I started to do this unreliable thing. I don’t like to watch Douyin very much, so I watched dozens of videos on various news and business topics.
I continued to scroll, and finally a video with a location appeared.
It's just that this is a promotional video for a tourist attraction, and the location in the video is also an ancient town.
Actually, I don’t want to go to tourist attractions, but since I have decided to watch the first video with the location, it can’t be counted.
I clicked on the location information in the video and found that it was not far from me, less than 500 kilometers away, and it was located in the ancient town of Anxi in Guizhou.
So this is it. After saving the location information, I didn’t think about it any more.
I have two more things to do before I leave. I want to say goodbye to Wu Nanxing, and I am also going to offer incense sticks to Huang Li.
I went to do these two things in the afternoon. First I drove to the cemetery where Huang Li was. I bought some bouquets and went to her tombstone.
It seemed that someone had visited her not long ago, and the flowers placed in front of the tombstone had not withered yet.
I gently placed the bouquet in front of her tombstone, then found a seat next to it and sat down, intending to chat with her about the rights and wrongs of this period.
The sky is still gloomy today, just like my mood.
I lit two cigarettes, placed one in front of Huang Li's tombstone, and held the other in my mouth.
After taking a few puffs, I murmured to myself: "Sister Li, I thought about a lot of things to say to you on the way here, but when I was sitting here, I suddenly didn't know what to say... "
"Then let's chat casually. There's something I want to tell you. I'm planning to leave Chongqing. I just found a place, some ancient town, and I plan to live there for a while."
"A lot of things happened during this period. You might not believe it if I tell you. An Lan and I divorced. I don't know the specific reasons. She said she had never loved me and that it was just a sideshow... I don't believe it. , I really don’t believe it, but she still left without leaving a single word.”
I raised my head, took a deep breath, and then turned to look at the tombstone. I was silent for a while and continued: "I was framed a few days ago and was stranded on a desert island, thinking I would never come back... there I thought a lot about this small island, and what I thought most about was the meaning of life. Suddenly I realized that I have never really lived for myself since college...I am so tired, so tired! But now I feel relaxed, everything It’s nice to be alone now that we’re all gone.”
"There are so many things I want to say, and I even want to drink with you and listen to you sing songs like before. Unfortunately, there is no chance again... I have to leave. I'll come back to see you next time!"
I stood up, faced the tombstone, and bowed deeply.
When I left the cemetery, the sky that had been gloomy for two or three days suddenly started to drizzle. It fell on the landscape trees on both sides and fell on my face, drenching my mood...
After leaving the cemetery, I went to the house shared by Wu Nanxing and her colleagues.
I didn't call her in advance. I came once and I still remember which unit and floor it was on.
After knocking on the door, Wu Nanxing's voice soon came from inside: "Who is it?"
"Nanxing, it's me."
Then I heard a rush of footsteps running toward the door. The door opened. Wu Nanxing was wearing a white sweater and looked at me in surprise.
"Brother Chen, are you... back?"
"Well, what are you doing at home these days without going to work?"
Wu Nanxing was not as timid as before, but he still stuck out his tongue a little embarrassed and said: "I signed up for an English class and am taking online classes at home."
"Not bad! How are you studying?"
"Um...it's so difficult, but I'm still making progress."
"As long as you make progress, study hard. English is actually not as difficult as you think."
"Well," Wu Nanxing nodded, and asked me again, "Brother Chen, why did you go out for so long this time? And what's wrong with your feet?"
"It's nothing, I just fell down. I came to you today to tell you something. I plan to go out of town for a while, and I may not be here for a long time."
"Ah? Where are you going? Working?"
I was silent for a while and said: "That's right! But don't worry, I have already explained it to Gao Sheng and the others. If you have any questions, just go to them... You should be good to yourself, and remember not to be a bad example.
"
"Well, no."
"Okay, let's do that. I'll see you when I get back."
I didn't stay long, Wu Nanxing sent me to the door, and I told her to go back without sending me downstairs.
I have pretty much explained everything that needs to be explained, and now there is nothing worthy of my nostalgia.
I just want my daughter and son, but I can't contact them. If I have the chance, I will still find a way to contact them.
When I got home, it was already evening, so I packed up all the ingredients left in the refrigerator and made myself a dinner.
In Nuoda's room, my life seemed to be cut by a dividing line.
Half a month ago I was falsely gorgeous, today I am lonely and depressed.
But I gradually no longer feel the pain, because I have experienced too many similar days and I have become numb.
After dinner, I took a quick shower. I haven't taken a proper shower since I came out of the desert island.
[Currently used, it is the most complete and best-used app for listening to books. It integrates 4 major speech synthesis engines and over 100 sounds. It is also a source-changing artifact that supports offline reading. Source-changing app]
Put on some comfortable pajamas, open a bottle of red wine, and play your favorite music.
I still need alcohol to fall asleep, at least today.
That night was the best sleep I had in a while. I didn't even have a dream, and I slept until nine o'clock the next morning.
After sitting on the bed in a daze for a while, I picked up my phone and booked a train ticket to Zunyi.
I don’t plan to drive anymore, although driving is more convenient, but I just want to go to that strange place alone and start an unknown journey...