Huang Li picked up the wine glass, gently shook the red wine in the glass, and said, "Because there is no pressure when you are with me, that's why you feel this way."
"Maybe."
Huang Li smiled and said to me: "As long as you feel comfortable, just relax and I will find a masseur for you later."
"There's no need for this."
Huang Li didn't say anything else. After a short silence, she asked me again: "What do you think of this red wine?"
"The taste is delicate and mellow, and the aftertaste is long. It is a valuable wine."
She didn't tell me how much the wine cost, but just poured me another glass and asked: "Which wine do you like to drink most? White, beer, or red?"
I replied without thinking: "Of course it is red wine, because it is not as spicy and irritating as white wine, nor is beer bloating or nauseating. It is as charming and attractive as a woman, it can soothe people's emotions and make them forget their worries. More importantly, it is
The alcohol's intensity rises slowly and for a long time, which will not make people lose their minds, but will only bring them full joy."
After hearing this, Huang Li laughed and said: "As expected of a cultural person, he has a good way of commenting, just like my father."
After a pause, she added: "If you want me to comment, it's just one sentence: it tastes good."
I laughed too, and then said, "Sister Li, you are actually a very meaningful person."
"You'd better stop calling me Sister Li. It sounds awkward, as if I'm older than you."
"I'm used to it, so what should I call you in the future?"
"My parents call me Lily, and you can call me the same."
"Have you ever heard of a song? It's called Lillian."
"No, does it sound good?"
"Wait a minute, I'll play it for you."
As I said that, I took out my phone, opened the player software, searched for Song Dongye's Lilian, and started playing it immediately.
"She found the lonely person preparing to leave, so she prayed for the dusk. Until at night she turned her head and heard the sad sobs. A kind-hearted woman with long hair hanging down her shoulders had followed the dusk, and her green clothes melted in the fire.
For the ashes, a flame was raised and burned until dawn, until the woman opened the door and left. She said to herself that there was a beach far away from here, and a lonely man was holding the sail on the sea. If
When you see her return to the shore, please tell her your name: my name, Lilian."
Huang Li and I didn't speak, and we listened quietly to the end of the song.
This song is quiet and lonely. It is very suitable to be played in this quiet environment.
I don't like ballads very much, I always feel they are a little bit moany, but I have to admit that ballads can really arouse people's emotions.
Thirty-year-old women are like this, and so is Lilian
After the whole song was played, Huang Li said after a while: "This song is quite nice. Is it really called Lillian? How come it has such a strange name?"
"I guess it was written for a girl named Lilian. I don't know, but when you said I called you Lilian, I suddenly remembered this song."
Huang Li laughed again and said, "Will you think of me when you hear this song from now on?"
I shrugged and said nothing.
Maybe, just like every time I hear about a thirty-year-old woman, I think of An Lan.
In silence, Huang Li tore open a pack of cigarettes and handed one to me.
Not caring that this place was newly renovated, we lit up cigarettes and started smoking.
I don't like women smoking, but only Huang Li, I think she is very elegant when she smokes, which is a kind of beauty.
After lighting cigarettes, we calmed down again.
The night is getting darker, and there are fewer pedestrians on Nanbin Road below.
Suddenly, Huang Li said to me again: "Chen Feng, you are really much more depressed now than before. I can clearly feel that you were deeply hurt by An Lan's incident. I really hope you can come out."
I smiled bitterly and said: "It's okay, I will come out, but I probably won't be able to devote my whole heart to another woman who accompanies me in the future. Moreover, even after thousands of sails, I will never be able to regain the original love."
It feels like a boat.”
"Actually, it's not a big deal. You will always forget her in the future. Forget her appearance first, then her voice, your oath of love, and your love for her."
"Yes! Maybe one day, I will forget how deeply I loved her at that time. Maybe one day, I will forget all the details of our experiences together. Maybe one day, I will forget all the memories of us."
After a short pause, I smiled miserably and said, "But I can't forget the desperate feeling I felt when I loved her in the first place, and I can't give this feeling to anyone else."
"Well, I can understand it. It's a kind of infatuation that only takes a spoonful of water."
"Am I stupid and useless?"
"Why do you say that?"
"I have experienced two failed relationships. From Xiao Wei's betrayal to An Lan's departure, I was deeply in love with both of them, but why didn't they end well? Am I not worthy of love?"
"Of course not, these are just accidents. Don't live with memories anymore. You still have a future."
The emotions that had been suppressed for a long time in my heart suddenly seemed to have found a breakthrough at this moment, and I was powerless to stop them.
Through alcohol, I began to vent the suppressed emotions in my heart.
I cried. This was the first time I cried in front of a woman, and it was a heart-breaking cry.
Huang Li suddenly stood up, came over and gently held my head in her arms.
I smelled a light body fragrance mixed with the smell of lily, and the comfortable feeling made me feel that the person holding me was An Lan.
She touched my head with distress and said, "You must have had a hard time these years, right? I see you have gray hair."
"I feel like a cattail grass, I can pull out too many threads, but I can't cry out for pain. I force myself to smile every day at the company. After get off work, I get lonely and get drunk. I'm used to being lonely. I'm used to discussing things with myself when I encounter them. I'm used to admitting blows myself.
But when everything became a habit, I found that I was losing myself more and more. I found that I was no longer interested in anything, not even women.
I began to fear the time when I had to go to bed every night. In the dead of night, I had to wait and wait and endure until I was so sleepy that I could fall asleep. Sometimes I woke up on the sofa, sometimes on the ground beside the bed, sometimes on the bed.
Toilet"
I confided to her that these were all the truest aspects of my life during this period, and no one talked to me about it, and no one understood me.
But facing Huang Li, I had the courage to say all these things in my heart.
Tears flowed out uncontrollably
This is really the first time in my life that I shed tears without any scruples in front of a woman.
I was tired, my whole body was completely relaxed, and I leaned my body against Huang Li's body so easily.
She patted my back gently and said softly: "Let the past pass. There is still a long road ahead. Leave the sorrow behind, open your heart, and live a good life."
I didn't speak, I just wrapped my hands tightly around her slender waist, like a vine.
My heart gradually began to feel peaceful, like a sea without waves in the darkness.?