After I got through, she told me that she had gone to Beijing and would return to Chengdu after the Chinese New Year.
I hummed twice and paused for a while before saying to her: "Xiaoxiao, my mother really doesn't mean anything else, don't mind."
"I don't mind, we are still good friends."
"I'm really disappointed. If I went to your house and your family treated me like this, I would definitely be very unhappy."
"It's not your fault, and your mother must also have her own difficulties. I'm really not angry, so don't overthink it."
"Okay, let's not talk about this anymore. Let's meet in Chengdu later."
"Well, let's not talk about it for now. I made an appointment with my former classmate and now I'm going out for dinner."
"Okay, please pay attention to your safety."
Just after hanging up the phone from Sun Xiaojie, before he could put down the phone, the phone rang again.
I grabbed my phone and looked at it. It was actually a call from Chen Min, whom I hadn't contacted for a long time.
Without thinking much, I immediately answered the phone and said to her, "Happy New Year, Lawyer Chen."
She also said "Happy New Year" to me and then said with a somewhat eager tone: "Chen Feng, there is something I want to tell you."
Hearing her serious tone, I immediately cheered up and said, "What happened?"
"I feel that An Lan is not dead."
My brain suddenly buzzed, and then my ears stopped hearing any sound, and my eyesight went completely white.
"Hey, hey Chen Feng, can you hear me? Hello"
After Chen Min called me several times in succession, I realized what I was doing and asked her, "What did you say? Say it again."
"I said, An Lan may not be dead yet."
This time I was quite clear, but I was in a daze again. How could I not die?
I saw her fall into the sea with my own eyes, but with the strong wind and rain, even a strong swimmer had no chance of surviving.
An Lan could swim, but in the extreme weather at that time, there was no way she could survive.
I swallowed hard and then said, "Why do you say that? Is there any evidence?"
"I have no evidence, this is just my speculation."
I immediately gave a bitter smile and said: "I also think she is not dead, but those are just self-comfort words. Why are you like me?"
"No, I'm different from you. I have been collecting some evidence before An Lan was killed. Based on the analysis of some of the information I have now, I finally came to the conclusion that An Lan may not be dead."
"Okay, she's not dead, then tell me where she is now?"
Chen Min pondered for a while before saying: "I don't know where she is, and I said she might still be alive, but I didn't say she was definitely alive."
"Maybe, maybe, or maybe there has to be a possible reason, right?"
"Don't be anxious. I'm telling you this just because I hope you don't give up. Even if something happens to Lanlan, we still have to find the person who framed her behind her."
"I will, but don't tell me that she is still alive again, because it is too painful for me. Do you know how great the hope is, how great the disappointment is?"
"Then do you believe she is still alive?"
I was silent for a while before replying: "I believed it before, but I don't believe it now."
"Why?"
"Does this need a reason?" I sneered, "If she is really alive, she must know that we have been looking for her, and she also knows how heartbreaking my life has been during this time. But what about her? What if?
She is still alive, why didn’t she show up?”
"What if she has a reason?"
I smiled bitterly again and said, "What difficulties do you have that you can't tell me?"
"maybe!"
"Okay, let's not talk anymore. It's Chinese New Year and I don't want to make it so sad."
"OK Bye Bye."
After ending the call with Chen Min, I felt completely bad. I had almost come out of An Lan's shadow.
But now she came to tell me that An Lan might still be alive, and it was only possible.
I don't want to have hope anymore, because the despair after hope is really too painful.
I think Chen Min is just like me back then, a little obsessed.
If I was no longer there when An Lan's accident happened, maybe I would still believe that she was still alive.
But I saw her fall into the sea with my own eyes, and I saw the water drown her with my own eyes. How could she have any chance of surviving?
I had a nightmare this night, dreaming that An Lan was really alive, but she turned into a monster living in the deep sea.
In the dream, she no longer recognized me, and even had no humanity at all. I wanted to hug her, but she bit off a piece of her flesh.
I woke up from the pain and realized that I fell from the bed to the ground. The pain in the dream just now was caused by falling to the ground.
After sitting back on the bed, I lit a cigarette for myself and kept smoking vigorously, trying to calm down the dream just now.
I didn't sleep anymore and just sat there until dawn.
I habitually go out for a morning run, and when I come back, my mother has already made breakfast.
Today is already the second day of the Lunar New Year, and according to the custom here, we have to start visiting relatives.
But I don’t have any relatives at home. During breakfast, my mother told me that my second uncle was inviting me to dinner today, which was strange.
Since my father passed away, although our family still has contact with my second uncle's family, we haven't moved around much every year during the Chinese New Year.
After asking, I found out that it was my second uncle's younger son who had been admitted to the civil service, and our relatives were not simply deprived of food, but were invited to send gifts to his family.
I couldn't shirk it, so at noon I had to follow my mother to my second uncle's house.
It was quite lively. People from all over the country came here.
My mother went to ask the third lady about the gift and told me that the third lady and the others gave me one thousand.
This is also appropriate. Our family is not a rich family. Since the third wife and others are giving one thousand, we will also give one thousand.
The second uncle is usually a submissive person, but today he is very proud, wearing an exquisite leather jacket, and even the second aunt seems to have dressed up specially.
At the dinner table, the second uncle patted his youngest son on the shoulder and kept praising him.
After struggling for most of my life, I finally got through it, and our Chen family finally has a civil servant, which brings honor to our ancestors.
I mean, I'm just a civil servant, is that the case?
Later, when I listened to their conversation, I found out that my second uncle's youngest son had been admitted to the City Planning Bureau, which is a very popular department. After he became successful, even the big bosses would come to ask for help.
It's because it's so lively today. People who usually don't move around are here. Isn't this just trying to get the glory and try to curry favor with the second uncle's family?
During a dinner party, I finally saw through human nature. I thought back to when I was in glory, these people were all here to curry favor with me.
Now they all know that I am down and out, and even looking at me seems like a waste of time.
Some relatives even said in front of my mother that I, the eldest brother, was getting worse and worse, and that I didn't set a good example for my younger brothers and sisters.
My mother has been a good person all her life. She would laugh and agree with whatever others said.
I felt very uncomfortable staying in this environment, so I took my mother and left before finishing the meal.
It's not that I'm jealous or anything, but what my second uncle said at the dinner table was so specific that I really couldn't listen to it.
On the way home, I received a call from Lao Fu and he asked me to visit his home.?