Regarding Xiao Ran, you may have heard it from many people, and you even asked me yourself.
At that time, I seemed to have only told you that the relationship between her and me was not what you imagined.
Now that I think about it, I didn't know what you imagined us to be like at that time. I just subconsciously thought and explained it subconsciously. Only now do I realize that maybe I should explain it to you seriously.
I have liked Xiao Ran, this is something I cannot avoid.
When we all played together in the past, I always felt that she was the girl with the most personality and her own ideas in the circle. It took me about four or five years from admiring her to slowly falling in love with her.
As you can see, I am actually a very slow-tempered person and someone who doesn’t like to force things.
Although I liked her at that time, she didn't mean anything to me in that way. So although everyone in the circle could see that I liked her, I didn't express anything until she went abroad.
It is undeniable that I was lost for a while after she went abroad. So when she came back, I still had some fluctuations in my heart.
Maybe it’s because I’ve had my heart set on it but never got it, so it’s inevitable that I’ll feel a little distraught.
But besides being upset, some things are in the past.
From the time she came back to the time she expressed her feelings to me, I actually had no idea that we would renew our relationship or have any new developments.
On the one hand, time was the reason, and on the other hand, it was because of the Xiao family. The timing of her return was too sensitive, and the change in attitude caught me off guard. Perhaps it was because from the time she asked me to meet, I had already thought about it.
Be prepared.
Although it's hard to say it, I did doubt her motives. Her real purpose behind it might just be to help the Xiao family.
You also know that at that time, I handled all the problems very poorly, whether it was with you or with her.
So later, when Xiao Taiming used my name to mess around, causing a conflict between father and daughter, and she got into a car accident, I realized that she was actually the same Xiao Ran as before, and it was me who thought too badly of her.
I feel very guilty. I used the greatest malice to speculate on a girl, failed her, and indirectly caused her serious injuries in a car accident...
This kind of guilt makes me feel at a loss as to what to do. I feel that I have sinned a lot, and I feel that I should do my best to make it up to her.
I'm not afraid of making you laugh. I have never experienced this kind of thing. I didn't expect that I would make such a mistake, but I still can't make up for it because I can't give her what she wants.
So I'm confused.
How confused was I at that time? I was so confused that I thought that this irreparable regret and guilt was because I still had her in my heart...
I was so confused that I didn’t even realize that I was making a bigger mistake...
And I have actually made this mistake with you again and again.
This is my true heinous crime.
What happens between us is something I never expected.
From the time you appeared in front of me, to the three years of peace and quiet, to our meeting in school, and even everything that happened after that, I couldn't have predicted it.
Your pregnancy is the biggest surprise and the one that makes me the most panicked.
I never thought about taking on the responsibility of being a father so quickly, and I couldn't imagine how two people with no emotional foundation could form a complete family and be a pair of competent parents.
Sorry, I took it for granted again.
I thought you were just as unprepared and at a loss as I was about this marriage and this child.
That's why I proposed that after giving birth to the child, I can send you to study or do other things.
I think this is the best arrangement for both of us.
I thought we could live in peace like this until Mu Qian woke me up and let me know that you might have expectations for me.
It turns out that the children are not the only ones I am responsible for.
Yes, at that time, all I was thinking about was being responsible, responsible for my children, and responsible for the girl I had flirted with.
But such responsibility is not a burden to me.
After that, everything I did was done willingly.
Being with you makes me happy.
I'm just stupid.
I always seem to be making mistakes, always making wrong decisions, and always making you suffer.
But you always say nothing.
Even when you broke up with me, you used the reason that you were tired of playing.
When I look back at all this, I realize how miserable I was.
There are many things about you and me that I cannot defend or explain.
But there are only two pieces——
1. I want to be with you and give my children a complete family. For me, it is never forced or a last resort;
Second, you said that I have never really understood your past and present. But my understanding of you started from the moment you appeared in front of me, and deepened from the time we met in your school. You said that
It's false, but in my opinion, it's all true. In the past, I didn't understand you comprehensively and carefully enough; now, I know you, whether it's you in the past or you now.
In fact, there are still many things to say and many words to write, but it is almost dawn.
If you get up and see me, I'm afraid I'll make you unhappy again.
If I go back, I may be able to make you happy for a few days.
I will tell you the rest slowly.
…
She knew every word in the letter and read every sentence quickly, but it still took her nearly half an hour to read the letter.
When Luan Bin came to deliver breakfast to Gu Qing'er, he only saw Gu Qing'er preparing the cat's food.
But the letter he had put on the table when he got up early was gone.
"Miss Gu, breakfast is here."
Gu Qing'er responded in a low voice, poured the cat food into the dish with milk, and poured the milk into the dish with cat food.
Without waiting for Luan Bin to remind her, she had already reacted and stared at the two identical food trays at hand for a moment, then fed them to the cats.
Seeing this, Luan Bin spoke again: "Mr. Fu has already left early in the morning, and he should be landing in Tongcheng soon. Mr. Fu has told us to take good care of Miss Gu, so if anything happens to Miss Gu, just tell us
.”
This time, Gu Qing'er didn't answer.
In just a few days, Luan Bin had become accustomed to her being in such a state, so he quickly left without saying anything more.
But before leaving, he couldn't help but take another look at the empty table, and then at Gu Qing'er, who was looking down at the cat eating seriously. He couldn't help but be confused -
Did she react like this because she read the letter or not?