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Chapter 1180 Feeling Wrong

 Outside the room, Chi Feichi waited for a long time and found that there was no movement in the room. He turned to the door to check the situation and saw Hui Yuan Ai sitting by the bed, looking down at the bag in a daze, "Xiao Ai?"

Hui Yuan Ai regained consciousness and subconsciously raised his head.

(??﹏??)

The same thing happened last time when my godmother left.

And this time we have been together for a longer time, and the feeling is stronger...

Chi Feichi observed Hui Yuan Ai's aggrieved face and remained silent for a moment, "Do you miss your mother?"

Only then did Haihara Ai realize that she might have forgotten to manage her expression well. She didn't want to admit that she actually missed her mother, but when she thought about Chi Feichi in front of her, she let out a dull 'hmm'.

Brother Fei Chi should understand her...

The next second, Haiyuan Ai looked at the cell phone Chi Feichi took out and asked speechlessly, "What are you doing?"

Chi Feichi looked at Hui Yuan Ai's normal expression on the phone and put it away regretfully, "The expression you had just now was rare, it's a pity."

He actually pressed the photo button a little slower. This was all because he was helping Haihara Ai carry her schoolbag, which affected his performance and failed to take a photo for collection.

Hui Yuan Ai was speechless for a moment. He lowered his head and zipped up the bag containing clothes. He stood up and put it on his back. He looked at Chi Feichi with a dark face and said, "Let's go."

Fortunately, she still thought that Brother Fei Chi would understand her feelings and they could hug each other for warmth. She never expected that what Brother Fei Chi thought of was to take pictures of her in such an embarrassing state...

There is no worse brother than this!

Chi Feichi turned around and led the way out. He didn't feel any guilt at all for ruining the atmosphere. He still regretted not being able to take that photo.

Such a pitiful version of Haihara Ai's photo. If I miss this time, my little sister will be on guard. Maybe there will be no next chance...

It feels wrong.

All the way to the parking lot, Haiyuan Ai put her bag in the back seat, got in the car, and watched Chi Feichi get into the driver's seat, "Does this count as imparting experience?"

On the way down in the elevator, she thought about why.

Before meeting Ikegana, she never realized that she could miss someone so much. She felt lost as soon as the other person left.

Her sister is probably because she gets together less often and stays away more often. When they get together occasionally, they only share life in a hurry. Or maybe she is the one who is always away from her.

As a male, Dr. Agasa is sometimes not as delicate as Ikekana, and he is always there. She has never experienced Dr. Agasa leaving suddenly and not knowing when he will return, so she has not thought about Dr. Agasa.

Brother Fei Chi... When they first met, she went to Dr. Ali to miss him, and when she called the place she had been renting for her sister, but as they got in touch, she found that Brother Fei Chi was often active in

I want to see you today. You can arrange to meet me by sending a message. We live not far away. As time goes by, I won’t miss you too much when we separate.

From this point of view, there are two reasons why Ikegana feels depressed every time she leaves her.

First, she felt wholehearted care and concern from her godmother. Even if she lost her only for a short time, it would be uncomfortable and disappointing. Moreover, her godmother seemed to have a kind of magic power, exuding warmth no matter where she was, not a hot passion, but a warm feeling.

It can conquer people's hearts without knowing it, and being loved by such a person makes my heart feel warm every day. If that person suddenly leaves, the drop in temperature of the air will also make people feel confused.

The second reason is that she does not have any sovereignty in the "getting together and separation".

Whether it was with her sister or now with Doctor and Fei Chi, she has the right to choose, and Ikegana will fly from city to city. The distance between each other is too far and cannot be determined, and Ikegana still has things to do at hand.

, is also full of uncertainty in time.

She has no sovereignty at all, so she is destined to be the one who is missed even more.

So, does Brother Fei Chi really not understand her mood?

No, Fei Chi's feelings on this matter should be deeper than hers.

She should be the one who can only feel part of it but not all of it.

She heard her godmother say that before she was five years old, Fei Chi had been living with her parents for five years. Even if she had no memory of her two years earlier as a baby, it would have been at least two or three years. This time she and her husband lived together.

The week spent with the godmother was many times greater, so after the godmother left, the feeling of longing should also be doubled, doubled and doubled again.

Her real age is eighteen years old, and she is no longer a child. She has seen a lot of things in the organization over the years, experienced a lot, and is open to reunions and partings. And at that time, Brother Fei Chi was still a five-year-old child after all.

.

The departure of parents, facing alone in a home where parents seem to be everywhere, but the air is so cold, passively waiting, that kind of missing... No, that should be painful, that kind of pain is even stronger.

Many times.

In addition, after being disturbed by Chi Feichi, she got out of her low mood. Thinking about it again, she didn't feel so uncomfortable anymore. It seemed that no one helped Fei Chi get out of this mood.

Thinking of this, she felt so bored that she almost suffocated. She had many questions to ask, but it seemed that there was no need to ask them. She could think of the answers.

for example……

When you missed me and found that you had no sovereignty, were you ever afraid? Were you ever uneasy?

There must be, she is okay, she has the mind of an eighteen-year-old after all, and knows more. If she really wants to be more willful, she can ask Dr. Ali to fly over, or hire someone to take her on a plane to find her godmother.

Yes, she knew it was a plane trip and knew many ways to deal with it. She had not completely lost her sovereignty, but for a five-year-old child, there were more unknowns in the outside world. Not only was her body unable to resist some dangers, but

Even the understanding of the world and the way to deal with things are still in an absolutely weak position.

Fei Chi had no more choice than she did back then, and was absolutely helpless and frustrated, followed inevitably by fear and uneasiness.

Desperate?

It must be true. If your long-term expectations cannot be met, and your long-term fears and anxieties cannot be appeased, you must be desperate if you even pray and plead to no avail.

Have you ever resisted?

Even if a five-year-old child cannot tell where the injustice is, he will definitely notice it if he cannot pray for it. If he realizes that he is so weak that he has no right to choose, he will resist.

She could even guess at the means of resistance. For a five-year-old child, it would probably be crying, making mistakes, and responding in the most clumsy and irrational way.

Hate?

There must be some.

Loss is painful, and if tenderness or security can intensify that pain, then tenderness and security will also be hated, along with the mother who once provided tenderness and the father who once provided security.

.

In fact, there are still questions she doesn't know the answers to.

What happens after the resistance fails?

What now? Can you let go now?

She didn't dare ask.

She was worried that her past emotions had become a festering wound that was out of control and wantonly polluting other parts of her heart. After cutting it open, she would see devastation that she could not bear.

Although Jack the Ripper in the Cocoon game is a game character, he is outstanding in terms of setting and intelligence.

Such a villain actually considered Brother Fei Chi, whom he had only known for a short time, as a friend, and later even played a destructive plot like "Kill Professor Moriarty".

She didn't think much about it before, thinking that Brother Fei Chi could easily warm others, or maybe before his death, Hiroki Sawada guessed that Brother Fei Chi, a game fan, would definitely participate in the cocoon game experience, and set the settings for Brother Fei Chi in advance.

'Absolute Charm' Buff.

Thinking about it now, maybe it was because after Jack the Ripper and Brother Fei Chi talked about certain aspects, Jack regarded Brother Fei Chi as a friend who could understand him, or even another self.

In the London stage setting of that game, Jack killed his mother who abandoned him, and other victims were selected based on Jack's resentment towards his mother.

So, what about Brother Fei Chi?

If you are not so resentful that you want to kill someone, you probably can't understand Jack. If you don't really understand, executioners like Jack are not so easily deceived.

...it's scary to think about it.

She didn't want to think so, but if it was what she thought, it would be better to downplay the resentment first and then cut open and treat it.

And not everyone is suitable for incision to remove pus. Brother Chi’s medical records are still kept at Qingshan Fourth Hospital.

Furthermore, if Brother Fei was unwilling to reveal it, she would not have no chance...



Chi Feichi closed the car door and turned around to see Hui Yuan Ai staring at him with complicated eyes. He felt confused and asked, "What?"

Hui Yuan Ai came back to her senses and said in a relaxed and leisurely tone, "Faced with the departure of my mother, what is your experience on how to quickly adjust your mood? Is it to use other things to distract your attention and quickly get out of that emotion?"

Chi Fei started the car late and reversed out of the parking space, "You can try it."

Is this an admission?

Haiyuan Ai looked at Chi Feichi's calm profile, looked away, watched the car drive out of the parking lot, and decided to have a heart-to-heart talk with Chi Feichi, "Brother Feichi, have I told you before, right? My parents are here

I passed away when I was very young. I used to see TV shows where children cried because they missed their parents. I thought, at least they still have their parents, at least they still care about them. They are much luckier than people like me.

? Now I probably know how those children feel..."

Chi Feichi suspected that his little sister was extremely depressed today. He knew all this. His parents died early in the previous life, and he did not understand the mood of those children. But in this life, he has the memory of the original consciousness, and he can understand it.

I think it is necessary to talk about it, "There is a Chinese saying, 'When parents are alive, there is still a place to come in life; when parents are gone, there is only a way back in life.' No matter how old you are or how old you are, after your parents are gone, there will always be a feeling in your heart.

Missing a part makes me feel lonelier and less confident. The American poet Emily Dickinson once again said, 'I could have endured the darkness if I had never seen the light, but now the sunshine has illuminated my loneliness even more.

Desolation', sometimes, having it and then losing it is no easier than never having it..."

Haibara Ai:"……"

this……

She actually wanted to express to Brother Fei Chi - there are still many people who envy people who have parents, so it's not that bad, everyone is envious of each other.

But Brother Fei Chi actually seemed to know better than her.

And these two sentences are so good, she likes them very much...

Chi Feichi continued, "Both emotions are not pretentious. Only those who are in them can understand them clearly and know the pain. At the same time, they yearn for another kind of life, but the beauty of the other kind of life is also completely imagined.

, the pain was ignored.”

Haibara Ai:"……"

Yes, it makes sense and makes people want to think deeply.


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