It was already past midnight when Xiao Siluo and the others returned to Shanhaiwan. Everyone was very tired. Everyone also had a tacit understanding and said goodbye to each other without mentioning Liu Haoyuan's name before going back to their rooms.
After last night's cohabitation, Xiao Siluo directly pulled Feng Beichen into his bedroom tonight. Xiao Yihe looked at him and wanted to go over and drag Feng Beichen out, but fortunately, Huo Lan caught him in time.
"Okay, Silo must be in a bad mood tonight, so I'll let Beichen accompany me. Besides, hasn't your family already acquiesced in their relationship? Why are you still bothering about this?"
"Xiaodai is only twenty-two years old."
Xiao Yihe said with a resentful look. Looking at the closed door in the distance, he suddenly felt heartache as if his cabbage had been cut off.
"That's alright. I don't know who it was, but they knocked me down as soon as we established the relationship."
Huo Lan thought of the scene when she and Xiao Yihe were together and glared at Xiao Yihe.
Xiao Yihe suddenly looked embarrassed, smiled, hugged Huo Lan and said.
"Honey, it's all my fault. Don't be angry. It's getting late. Let's go back to the room and rest."
After saying that, Xiao Yihe pulled Huo Lan towards his bedroom, who dared to interfere with Xiao Siluo and Feng Beichen's affairs.
With Liu Haoyuan's incident, Xiao Siluo's mood has not been high. After taking a bath, he lay quietly on the bed. Feng Beichen felt very distressed when he saw this.
"Si Luo, this matter has nothing to do with you, don't put too much pressure on yourself."
Feng Beichen lay on the bed, held Xiao Siluo in his arms, and comforted him gently.
Xiao Siluo nodded gently, leaned into Feng Beichen's arms, closed his eyes, but couldn't fall asleep.
The room was dark, and after a long time, Xiao Siluo's voice came.
"Beichen, is depression really terrible?"
Xiao Siluo had only heard about it, but could not empathize with it. When she asked this question, she obviously felt Feng Beichen's body tense up, and then Xiao Siluo regretted it. How could she forget that Feng Beichen was also suffering from depression?
of victims.
"Forget it, I just asked casually, go to sleep, good night."
"My mother has been suffering from depression for five or six years. I didn't know it at first. I just thought that my mother's mood was often unstable. Sometimes she would hide in her room and cry alone. Sometimes she would lose her temper for no reason. One time she
He almost jumped into the sea with me."
Feng Beichen's voice sounded slowly, low and hoarse. In the dark room, Xiao Siluo felt a strong sadness, and could even feel Feng Beichen's tight and trembling voice.
Xiao Siluo regretted it. She hugged Feng Beichen tightly and wanted to stop him.
"Beichen, stop talking, let's sleep, okay?"
"Si Luo, I'm fine, really."
With that said, Feng Beichen continued.
"Later, I was picked up by the old man. I was still young at that time. I once thought that my mother didn't love me anymore, so I did such a thing. Later, when I grew up, I also knew that my mother had given birth to a child.
I didn’t know the horror of depression until I got sick. I once watched my mother commit suicide by cutting her wrists and took sleeping pills. Fortunately, the servants at home discovered her and rescued her in time."
At this time, Feng Beichen's voice was trembling a little, and Xiao Siluo even felt her cheeks were a little moist, but she didn't speak, she just hugged Feng Beichen tightly. She knew that this man also needed to vent.
Feng Beichen continued to tell about his mother.
"When I was twelve years old, my mother's condition improved, and I was taken to my mother's side again. It was the happiest time in my memory. It was also at that time that I truly understood how profound my mother's love was.
It can be said that because she loves me and cannot let go of me, she has been working hard to fight against the disease. She wanted to grow up with me, but in the end, this wish did not come true."
"Because of something that happened to my father, my mother's condition worsened again. Did you know? Once depression relapses, it will be much more serious than the first time. It will make people lose their fighting spirit, become world-weary, and think about death all the time. But that's it.
, my mother still persisted, even though the effects of those treatments were useless, she still forced herself to smile in front of me, not letting me see any of her embarrassment."
Speaking of this, Feng Beichen took a deep breath and was silent for a long time. Xiao Siluo felt that Feng Beichen's body was shaking violently, and he could even hear the faint swallowing sound coming from him when he spoke.
Xiao Siluo still said nothing. At this time, it was better to be a listener than to say any words of comfort.
After a long time, Feng Beichen spoke again.
"I thought my mother would insist on treatment for me. Even on my fourteenth birthday, she even said that she would take me to live abroad in the future. But I didn't expect that not long after my birthday, when I came back from school, I saw with my own eyes
I watched my mother jump down from the building, and she fell directly in front of me. Silo, do you know? When my family informed my father about my mother’s suicide, he was lying on his lover’s bed.
When he heard the news of his mother's death in his arms, he only said, 'I know', without even a painful expression."
At this time, Feng Beichen could no longer control his voice, and he was obviously choking. His tears had already burst, but he was proud and still tried hard to control his emotions.
"Beichen, don't talk anymore, it's all over."
Xiao Siluo hugged Feng Beichen tightly. At this time, Feng Beichen was no longer the tall and powerful man. He was like a fragile and helpless child, leaning tightly against Xiao Siluo's arms, crying silently.
In tears.
"If you want to cry, just cry. You keep holding it in, and it makes me feel bad to see you."
Xiao Siluo knew very well that Feng Beichen needed a catharsis. This man had been burdened with too much. She originally thought that she had completely understood this man, but at this moment, Xiao Siluo realized that the man beside her also had moments of vulnerability.
Xiao Siluo's words were like a switch. After that, Feng Beichen burst into tears, but there was still no sound, but he was more indulgent than ever before.
I don’t know how long it took, an hour? Two hours? Anyway, Xiao Siluo felt that it had been a long time. Feng Beichen finally calmed down. His body occasionally twitched, but she knew that Feng Beichen was tired from crying and fell asleep.
Through the moonlight outside the window, Xiao Siluo looked down at the man beside him, and could vaguely see the marks on his cheek.
That night, Xiao Siluo couldn't sleep, not only because of what Feng Beichen said, but also because he was worried about Liu Haoyuan.
After listening to Feng Beichen's story about his mother, Xiao Siluo deeply felt the horror of depression again, and couldn't help but worry about Liu Haoyuan. Although there was no intersection, she didn't want a good person to just disappear.
At around four o'clock in the morning, Xiao Siluo was about to fall asleep when Feng Beichen beside her woke her up.
"Mother, mother, don't leave me."
"no, do not want……"
"Mom, I'm Xiaochen, look at me, okay?"
"Si Luo, don't leave me, don't leave me."
"Si Luo, Silo..."
Feng Beichen next to him had a nightmare. He thought of what Ouyang Jie said before. Feng Beichen often had dreams in these years. However, after Xiao Siluo was with him, such situations obviously became less frequent. But tonight, Feng Beichen
Chen had another nightmare.
This time, Feng Beichen not only dreamed of his mother, but also of Xiao Siluo, but Xiao Siluo in the dream abandoned him, and he was also called the lonely person no one wanted.
Feng Beichen panicked and was scared. He finally saw a glimmer of happiness. He couldn't let happiness slip away again. He struggled and tried hard to catch Xiao Siluo, but Xiao Siluo in the dream didn't look back.
He left, walking further and further away.
Feng Beichen on the bed struggled harder and harder, his expression was painful, and a tear fell from the corner of his eye. He shouted Xiao Siluo's name in pain.
At this time, everyone in the villa was already asleep, and Xiao Siluo didn't want to disturb them, so he could only guard Feng Beichen alone.
"Beichen, wake up."
Xiao Siluo hugged Feng Beichen and whispered in his ear. He held Feng Beichen's hand tightly with both hands, hoping to make him feel that he was always with him.
"Beichen, that was all a dream. Now that you have me, I will always be with you."
"Beichen, wake up quickly."
Finally, under Xiao Siluo's constant shouting, Feng Beichen's mood gradually calmed down, and his expression became much calmer, except that there were still residual strangulation marks at the corners of his eyes.
"Si Luo, I..."
At this time, Feng Beichen slowly opened his eyes, looking at Xiao Siluo's worried and distressed eyes, he felt a little dazed.
The dream just now was too real. He saw Xiao Siluo's indifferent expression, abandoning him like a pair of shoes. He was afraid, he was terrified. He felt that he had fallen into the abyss of endless darkness again, and the only light once again
disappeared from his life.
When Feng Beichen saw Xiao Siluo in front of him clearly and truly felt that Xiao Siluo was beside him, Feng Beichen hugged Xiao Siluo like crazy, turned over, and then fiercely
Kissing Xiao Siluo fiercely, he longed for the soft red lips and the warm temperature.
At this moment, it seemed that only in this way could he find some solace in his panicked heart.
Xiao Siluo didn't expect Feng Beichen to be so crazy, but immediately, she took the initiative to cater to him, because when the two people's lips touched just now, she could clearly feel Feng Beichen's fear and nervousness.