It turns out that Xiao Yingxi has been living in self-blame these days. Although everyone told her in Luo City that Mas Nian's death was just an accident, in Xiao Yingxi's view, all accidents are also accidents.
It was caused by human factors, and she was the culprit of such an accident.
Seeing Xiao Yingxi's self-reproaching and painful expression, seeing her tearful eyes and heartbroken mood, Gu Jinmo stood up, caressed Xiao Yingxi's head lovingly, and gently held her in his arms.
In my arms, the gentle drizzle comforted me.
"No, Luoluo, everyone has their own destiny. Everyone's life and death have been arranged from the day they were born. Even if Brother Snien didn't go to Nanyun because of you, he would have gone to England for other reasons.
"
"No, it's just because of me. He should have been the president of Yaoyuan Group and should have stayed well in Luo City. It was me who disrupted his life. It was me who killed him."
Xiao Yingxi is now unable to extricate herself from such self-blame. In her heart, she has already determined that Mas Nian's death was caused by her, and such an obsession cannot be eliminated by others with just a few words.
Gu Jinmo knew that no matter how much he said at this moment, it would be useless. He frowned and looked at Xiao Yingxi who was getting more and more excited in his arms, hugging her tightly. In the end, there was really no choice but to take risks.
I saw Gu Jinmo suddenly let go of Xiao Yingxi, took a step back, his eyes were no longer as tender as before, and he said with a gloomy expression.
"Xiao Yingxi, have you made enough trouble? Even if Brother Snian's incident is indirectly related to you, it has already happened. No matter how much you blame yourself, Brother Snian will not survive. Go out and take a look at your
Parents, go and see Brother Yingze, can't you see that they are worried about you? You keep blaming yourself here, then have you ever thought about the living people?"
Gu Jinmo suddenly scolded Xiao Yingxi coldly, and Xiao Yingxi's mood seemed to calm down a little. Seeing this, Gu Jinmo continued.
"The deceased is gone. If we continue to live in pain and sorrow, shouldn't we consider the concerns of those who are still alive? This time I came here, I obviously felt that my uncle and aunt were much older. Luoluo, are you
Don’t you just plan to torture yourself like this all the time, and then torture your family and friends, then you will harm everyone.”
Gu Jinmo said it out loud, but after saying it, he felt a little guilty. He didn't know if this would be counterproductive.
But after quieting down and observing for a long time, Xiao Yingxi's expression was much calmer than before, but she still didn't speak. Gu Jinmo breathed a sigh of relief, at least it didn't develop in a worse direction.
Seeing that Xiao Yingxi ignored him, Gu Jinmo stood for a while, looked at the messy room, hesitated, and started to sort out the paintings scattered on the floor, picking them up and saying.
"Luoluo, there are many ways for us to miss someone. You can express your longing and reluctance by drawing, or you can vent your inner emotions, but shouldn't we be more energetic and live hard?
Only in this way can we not let down everyone who loves us and let the deceased rest in peace. It is such a simple truth, Luo Luo, you are so smart, you will not understand it."
"Luoluo, didn't you tell me before that your original intention to set up the Five Color Project was inspired by Brother S Nian's childhood experience. You told me that Brother S Nian looked at his relatives one by one.
Even if he leaves, he can live a strong life and finally live his own wonderful life. What about you now, shouldn't you learn from Brother Snien's optimistic and positive attitude? If you really miss him and can't let him go, isn't it?
Is it because he works hard to live with his ideas? Think about the children in the mountains we saw last time, how many of them have lost their loved ones, and who of them has given up on themselves like you? Don’t forget, they will all
You regard them as role models, do you want them to learn from your cowardice?"
Gu Jinmo thought of the first batch of children they received who received help from the Wucai Project before the holidays, and what they saw in the eyes of those children were their reverence for life and longing for the future.
Gu Jinmo wanted to divert Xiao Yingxi's attention and let her find the courage to live again.
When Gu Jinmo said these words, his eyes were always paying attention to the emotions on Xiao Yingxi's face. What made him happy was that when he talked about those children, a few undetectable lights flashed in Xiao Yingxi's eyes.
This is already a gain for him.
Gu Jinmo arranged the paintings, moved a chair and sat next to Xiao Yingxi. He took out his mobile phone, which contained the video of the last time they received those children.
Gu Jinmo clicked on it, and the room was suddenly filled with children's laughter.
"Luoluo, I know you are in pain and sadness now, but there are many people in this world who have experienced pain and misery than us, but look at the stubbornness and hope on their faces. As a big sister who is older than them,
Do you want to keep feeling depressed like this?"
"Stop talking, I have always been a coward. Come on, Gu Jinmo, you don't understand my feelings at all. Do you know how much pain I feel here? Do you know what Si Nian's absence means to me?
Do you know how many years I have loved him? You let me live bravely, and you let me let go of the past. Do you think those memories can be let go?"
Suddenly, Xiao Yingxi became excited again, no, it should be said that she vented her emotions.
Xiao Yingxi was in pain, roaring hysterically, and patted her chest vigorously, but the pain from the beating was not even one-tenth of the pain that Masnian's death caused her.
Faced with Xiao Yingxi's sudden outburst, Gu Jinmo was stunned for a moment, but then he spoke.
"Of course I know how sad you are now, but Brother Si Nian is no longer here, do you really want to give up on yourself? Don't you have any other pillars of support besides Brother Si Nian?"
"Yes, it's gone, there's nothing left. I've loved him for almost six years. From the moment I overheard that he was the adopted child of my parents, I knew clearly that my feelings for him were beyond the limit.
My sister's feelings for my brother. From that moment on, I regarded becoming his wife as my goal. Because when he was a child, he said that I was good at painting. I started to focus on painting because he said that I wore a skirt.
She looks good, so I wear skirts almost all year round, because he said girls have beautiful long hair, and I can go without cutting my hair for several years. All in all, I just want to be the perfect woman in his mind."
Xiao Yingxi looked at the portrait in front of her, shedding tears as she recounted the story, but randomly, she suddenly smiled coldly, her face full of bitterness and helplessness.
"Haha, but I worked hard for so many years, but in the end it became a joke. When he brought your cousin back, I realized for the first time that he might not love me, but I didn't give up. Later, I confessed to him
, do you know how much courage I mustered up? I was rejected and I was disappointed, but I still didn't give up. I went to Nanyun to find him. I thought my sincerity would impress him, but I was still rejected."
Having said this, Xiao Yingxi turned to look at Gu Jinmo, was stunned for a moment, and then spoke again.
"Jinmo, later I ran away to Haishi. From that moment on, I decided to let him go. I decided to be his sister again. I even tried hard to accept a new relationship, but I thought that after my efforts and giving up Next, my relationship with him gradually eased, and I returned to the position of brother and sister, but he...he left me forever. Jinmo, do you know that kind of despair, just like my whole person? My soul has been taken away. It hurts so much here. I have already given up. Why does God want to take him away from me? Why..."
At the end, Xiao Yingxi broke down and cried. This was the saddest time Xiao Yingxi cried in so many days.