The dim bedside lamp was on. Xiaohan turned over on the bed and woke up unconsciously.
Suddenly, she found that the bed next door was empty.
Xue Han rubbed his eyes and blurted out: "Mom!"
At this time, Cheng Tianfang hurriedly walked in and asked in a worried voice: "Mom is here. Mom is here. What's wrong? Xiaohan has a nightmare?"
Xue Han hugged the quilt in front of him and shook his head.
"Mom, why aren't you sleeping yet? It's very late."
Cheng Tianfang gave a bitter smile and whispered: "Mom is still adjusting to the jet lag...are you not used to sleeping with the lights on? Mom, please turn off the lights for you, okay?"
"No." Xue Han murmured: "It is best to turn on a small light when sleeping in a strange place, otherwise you will not be able to sleep."
Cheng Tianfang's eyes blurred for a moment, then he smiled softly: "When I was a child, I was also afraid of the darkness in the room, and I couldn't sleep without turning on a small light."
"Oh?" Xue Han yawned and lay back lazily, "Then I guess this is especially like you."
Cheng Tianfang pulled up her silk pajamas and smiled softly: "There are street lamps and lights everywhere now. Even if the lights are turned off, there will still be all kinds of light reflected in. The room is somewhat bright, unless the two curtains are turned off."
There were two layers of curtains. My mother lived in the countryside when she was a child. When the sky darkened, everything was dark. I was afraid of the dark, so my uncle could only light an oil lamp to coax me to sleep, while he sat under the lamp and did handicrafts. The moonlight was good
At that time, my grandparents had to go out to work in the fields. If there was no moon, they would go to bed after eating, because they had to start working before dawn, and they were very tired at night. I couldn't sleep, so I stared at the oil lamp in a daze.
I fell asleep with my hair down."
"Oil lamp...? What is it?" Xue Han asked curiously: "What kind of oil is used to burn the lamp? Is it gasoline?"
Cheng Tianfang replied: "Kerosene only produces a small bright spot when it burns, and most of the house cannot light up."
Xue Han felt sad for a while and couldn't help but ask: "Is there no electricity? When can you have electric lights?"
Cheng Tianfang thought hard and answered: "Later, my uncle stopped studying and went to the city to work for the supply and marketing cooperative to make money. Half of the money he earned paid off debts and half helped improve the family's life. I remember that two months after he earned
, the house is finally equipped with electricity. Just pull the cord and the lights will turn on. Electric lamps are much better than oil lamps, and they illuminate the room brightly. I like it so much that I even have to keep the lights on when I sleep. Grandma refuses.
Coax me to fall asleep quickly, because the electricity bill at that time was very expensive and my family couldn't afford it. I was still young at that time and didn't understand how hard it was to make money, so I had to keep the light on. My grandfather sighed helplessly, and my grandmother hid aside and secretly
Wiping my tears. My uncle told me to sleep well and not cry. As long as I didn’t cry, he would keep the light on..."
As she spoke, she burst into tears unknowingly.
Xue Han felt uncomfortable and asked, "Mom, was your family so poor before?"
"Yeah." Cheng Tianfang replied: "I was very poor, and often too poor to open the pot. However, at that time, most families were similar. They had barely enough food to eat, which was pretty good. It wasn't until my uncle went to make money later that the family gradually got better.
After he made money, he took me to primary school and bought me a small military-colored schoolbag from the city. There was a little red star on it, which was very beautiful. He made the kids in the village envious!"
Xue Han thought for a while and asked: "Then why didn't uncle go make money earlier?"
Cheng Tianfang smiled bitterly: "My uncle's academic performance is very good, and he always ranks first in the exam. But the family is too poor and has no money to pay for tuition. My uncle has already been admitted to college, but the family can't afford a few dollars... He gave the notice
I quietly tore up the book and turned around to work in the city. As soon as he made money, he sent me to elementary school and advised me to study hard. He would support me in college in the future. He was reluctant to eat or wear. He made steamed buns and pickles every day.
, a penny is only spent in half. Sometimes in order to save travel expenses, I would rather run and walk home than take a donkey cart. I set out in the middle of the night and walked for several hours on the mountain road to get back. When I got home at dawn, my cloth shoes were covered with
Niba. After he came back, he immediately helped with the farm work and told me to listen carefully in class and not to whisper and play all the time. Unfortunately, I... had no intention of studying, which failed him and his hard work.
pay."
Xue Han was stunned, and his mind suddenly went blank.
Suddenly, she remembered the scene when her uncle stopped her and ran out in the middle of the night.
Under the bright street lights, her uncle's face was gloomy, and he tried to coax her and persuade her while holding back his temper. His eyes were full of anger and helplessness.
At that time, my uncle saw that she had no interest in studying, so she used her class time to sneak out and fall in love. He even used his training class fees to buy mobile phones for boys to recharge, buy junk food to eat, and use the remaining money to play online games.
Game, how disappointed and angry he was!
Because he had placed such deep hopes on his mother, and also on her.
My father, who readily paid for his training, was still working overtime in the study room in the middle of the night. He had to go to work and take care of his sick grandpa and grandma, and he couldn't even take care of his sore back.
Thinking of this, the guilt in her heart grew stronger and stronger, and tears fell from the corners of her eyes unconsciously.
Cheng Tianfang lowered his eyes and murmured: "I have disappointed my grandparents, and I have also disappointed my uncle and aunt... I have been disappointed too much, too much. I regret it, and I still regret it today. I have always lived."
In regret. But what can regret do? The most unlikely medicine in the world is the medicine of regret."
"Mom..." Xue Han whispered.
Cheng Tianfang suddenly came to his senses, and he hugged his daughter into his arms with excitement, sobbing uncomfortably.
"Xiao Han, my eldest cousin was here earlier, so I can't tell you too much. Mom, no matter how good your relationship with that man is, I beg you to open your eyes and see clearly. Don't imitate Mom.
...Mom regrets it so much! Don’t be like mom and live in regret all your life! Don’t…never make the same mistake as you did…wuwuwu!”
Xue Han was stunned and couldn't help but ask: "Mom, do you know? What do you regret?"
Cheng Tianfang choked up: "Yes, your dad called me and told me. He said you were in love with a gangster...and you often went out with him and had no intention of going to school. During the time I was abroad, your grades worsened one after another, even
You became the second to last in the class. Your dad was very helpless. He said that he was very angry at first and even quarreled with you on the street. Fortunately, your aunt stopped you. He said, he hopes I will come back soon to help find a school.
Let you transfer to another school. He is also secretly worried, fearing that you will go astray in the future and be doomed."
"...I know I was wrong." Xue Han wiped his tears and whispered: "I...I will never contact him again...he is a bad person."
Cheng Tianfang looked at her daughter suspiciously and asked, "Is he bad? Why didn't you know that before? How on earth did you get together with that kind of gangster?"
Xue Han lowered his head and kept his voice very low.
"He borrowed an online loan...and couldn't pay it back, so he asked me for money."
Cheng Tianfang squinted his eyes and said in a deep voice: "Speak more carefully."