After a long silence, Harris spoke again, always with melancholy and helplessness in his voice, "I read Susu's diary, and I know that she has always wanted to be my wife, and in my heart, she has already been my wife. "
After returning to London, he read Shen Suxin's diary. From the beginning of their acquaintance to the end when Shen Suxin was forced to marry Xu Yiwei, those things that had happened seemed to be reenacted before his eyes.
It wasn't until this moment that he realized that he had never really understood Shen Suxin.
At the end of the diary, on the day Shen Suxin and Xu Yiwei got married, she wrote: I can't wait for you, but I hope you can be happy for the rest of my life.
At that moment, Harris' hand holding the diary was trembling.
If he had come desperately, would the outcome have been different?
Unfortunately, there is no if.
Harris finally deeply realized what it meant to regret.
Back then, as long as he didn't care so much and listened to Shen Suxin's explanation, he could have Shen Suxin and be happy.
He will have a happy family, a daughter, and maybe a son.
It wouldn't be like this now.
"Is it cold, Xia Xia? Mom, please take you back." Shen Qingqing picked up Shen Shengxia from the ground and held her tightly in her arms.
After standing halfway up the mountain for too long, Shen Shengxia's body became cold. She was not in good health to begin with. If she got a fever and a cold, it would be really not worth it.
Shen Qingqing kissed Shen Shengxia's forehead distressedly, "Xia Xia said goodbye to grandma."
Shen Shengxia looked at the small photo on the tombstone and said in a sweet voice, "Goodbye, grandma."
"The steps are too steep, let me hold Xia Xia." Harris stretched out his arms to take the child, but Shen Qingqing dodged it.
"No, I can hold Xia Xia. I'm sorry to trouble you these days. I've almost finished handling Shen's matter, and will leave Tongcheng and return to London soon. But I think I and Earl Harris, I will never see you again, so let’s just say goodbye.”
Shen Qingqing's cold voice had almost no warmth, and then she passed him by.
"Qingqing, can you really not forgive me?" Harris's voice came from behind, and he felt helpless and indescribable pain.
Shen Qingqing paused subconsciously, lowered her head slightly, her pale face looked colder than the cold winter weather.
Shen Shengxia seemed to be infected by Shen Qingqing's low mood. A pair of small arms wrapped around her neck tightly, her rosy face pressed against Shen Qingqing's cheek, and she whispered softly, "Mom, don't be sad, Xia Xia will always be with you." For mom."
When Shen Qingqing heard this, she forced out a smile with some difficulty and reached out to stroke Shen Shengxia's head.
After a long pause, Shen Qingqing turned back, glanced at Harris standing in the wind, and glanced at the cold tombstone again, "You don't know how my mother came here all those years. Grandpa said that she has been here ever since she came back. I was unhappy, and finally married Xu Yiwei. I always thought that I was his daughter, that's why I tolerated him so much. Grandpa didn't tell me about your existence. So, I don't want you to exist in the future."
After Shen Qingqing said a few words, she strode down the mountain.
Her speed was very fast, but she took every step carefully. Her delicate body also bore the weight of Shen Shengxia.
Xia Xia is not her daughter yet, so she can bear everything about Xia Xia, including her future.