Left at the age of fifteen, returned at the age of thirty
[About inner monologue before going on the shelves]
I have to sigh: time is ruthless.
Over the years, I have clearly not felt the passage of time, but in the blink of an eye, I am already facing the milestone of thirty years old.
It's a pity that I didn't reach thirty in my life. I haven't had the thoughts of an adult yet, but my age has first carried the banner of maturity.
I went to kindergarten, elementary school, and junior high school in a rural town. I passed the national high school entrance examination at the age of fifteen and finally went to the city to study. After that, I spent my high school, university, and seven years of career in the city. I won't go home until I have a long vacation of more than three days - that tile-roofed house located in the bamboo forest in the countryside.
The distance from my parents probably widened from that time;
I haven't eaten the cherries growing on the two cherry trees in front of my house for fifteen years. I don't even know when they dried up and rotted. I just suddenly discovered one day that those two cherries were as thick as the mouth of a bowl. The thick cherry tree, which is about 1 meter high, has been cut off.
...
The passing time always makes people feel chaotic and unclear, which leads to a kind of guilt of "wasting in vain", and the pitiful savings in the bank card deepens this guilt, so that now I need to It took a lot of courage to vacate the nine-square-meter single room that I had rented for seven years, get in a Lala, and return to my hometown 200 kilometers away.
What prompted me to quit my job? And what prompted me to choose the path of online writing when I was about to turn thirty but had accomplished nothing?
At first, it was a stubborn heart that did not want to return to the ordinary.
My relationship with novels started in the fifth grade of elementary school. I tried to write in notebooks in junior high school. The main reason why I turned from a top student to a bad student in high school was reading novels in class. It can be said that I spent almost all my high school years reading novels. , after going to college, getting exposed to the Internet and owning a computer, I finally started the path of writing.
It's a pity that I am a weak-willed person. After years of stumbling and picking up and putting down countless times, I was eventually eliminated by the online literary world.
I couldn't take it up and couldn't let it go. It felt like it was stuck in my throat, and with some opportunities, I finally resolutely resigned from my job in September 2021 and resumed writing online articles.
At that time, my idea was very simple: I wanted to try it out for a year while I was single and alone without a car or a house. I didn’t expect to make money during this year, and I even knew that it would be difficult to make money, but I wanted to work hard and quickly. It’s okay to write happily for a year. After all, the older you get, the harder it becomes to pursue your dreams in such a relaxed way.
At that time, I just didn’t want my future self to regret it. I was prepared to have zero income for a year, and I was prepared that the data might still be bleak.
But reality gave me a painful slap in the face.
Starting from mid-March, both my parents were admitted to the hospital due to illness. At this time, I realized that the distance between me and my parents was actually further than the Milky Way.
My father has been suffering from type 2 respiratory failure for many years. Before that, I only knew that he was in poor health and had a cough, but I didn’t know exactly what was wrong.
My father's illness has never attracted my attention, because every time I went home, I looked at him as normal. Until that day, I called 120 for the first time in my life. I was about to suffer from pneumonia due to lack of oxygen and the carbon dioxide concentration in the body was twice the normal. My father with encephalopathy was sent to the emergency room.
Looking at my father's mouth with only two front teeth and big teeth left, watching him open his mouth to breathe hard in a coma, and watching the doctor's critical illness notice, I realized that the words "I am fine" from my parents all these years were just words of comfort to me. .
Two weeks before my father was admitted to the hospital, my mother was also admitted to the hospital for treatment due to kidney damage. My mother only had half of her kidney left, and the other half was diagnosed to have shrunk to disappear as early as a year ago. But now the remaining half of the kidney is actually
Also suffered damage.
As a daughter, it was the first time I felt how unfilial I was, but what made me even more heartbroken was that my parents had been hospitalized many times before, but I knew nothing about it.
My mother was hospitalized due to pesticide poisoning, and I knew nothing about it;
I knew nothing about the quarrel between my mother and the old man, and the threat of a sickle held to her neck;
My mother suffers from coronary heart disease and takes medicine all year round, but I know nothing about it;
Half of my mother's kidneys shrank to the point of disappearing, and I knew nothing about it;
My father had respiratory failure and I knew nothing about it;
My father has not slept on his back for many years, and I know nothing about it;
All my father has left is his big teeth and two front teeth, about which I know nothing;
My father has third-degree prostatic hyperplasia, but he cannot lie down for surgery due to type 2 respiratory failure. I know nothing about it;
I don’t know, there is more, much more;
...
As I approached my thirties, I realized how incompetent I was as a daughter.
I never realized that my parents are already so old.
In fact, I have not yet reached the age of thirty, but when I was approaching, I suffered such a cruel test from God.
In fact, I really envy those ordinary and ordinary families. They don't need to be rich and powerful, as long as they are ordinary. Even if they are poor, there is nothing terrible, as long as they are ordinary.
In fact, I have experienced many difficulties during my years abroad, but I never mentioned them to my parents:
On the day I graduated from college, I had no money and nowhere to go, so I was taken in by a stranger for a week.
I met someone who was mean-spirited seven or eight times (it was not my fault, and I resisted bravely. Once I even exposed that person in front of the entire bus, and I still feel that I am awesome when I think about it),
I was almost betrayed by unscrupulous male leaders in other departments of the company, abandoned by my former best friend, and betrayed by my boyfriend... If it were written down, it would be a bloody novel.
Life is so ups and downs. Although I haven't seen any ups and downs, I always seem to be struggling in the "down", but... it happened, it has passed, and I can't do anything. I can only reconcile with it, otherwise my mentality will deteriorate.
collapse.
I plan to return to my hometown. Although I have left my job for more than half a year, I have actually been living in the city. I experienced too much in March and April, understood too much, and gained too much insight, so I plan to go home and stay with my parents.
My father is 66 years old, my mother is 58 years old, and I am 29 years old (I also have a sister who is ten years older than me and has a monthly salary of 3,000 as a single parent; I also have a younger brother who is still studying~).
In the future, I want to stay with my parents. I want to rely on my meager writing skills to weave stories that others can recognize. If I like them more, I can pay for them so that I can support my family.
So, if you like my story, please support the original and genuine version within your ability and subscribe, I will be grateful~
Finally, "Escaping Farming: Don't Panic, The Master of Metaphysics for the Whole Family" will be released on April 26. After it is released, I will try my best to keep updating it every day and look forward to unlocking more plots with you in the future.
Looking forward to your first order, first order, first order, and subsequent orders~
[Forgive me for nagging so much here. I am a person who is not good at expressing myself. I have never mentioned these words to my family or friends. The reason why I can speak freely here is probably because you don’t know me.