He chewed the name and felt the bitterness like chewing orange peel seeping into his throat.
Of course he still remembers the name...
"Morgan" is the first friend added by the identity of "Ultramarine".
That is Xiao Liuli...or, in other words, the girlfriend of "Blue Song Yun".
This is also the reason why Lan Geyu became "Little Liuli".
Before, Russell had vaguely felt that Morgan might have sunk deeper into the darkness than Xiao Liuli... At that time, Russell had no real sense of this.
In other words, Morgan's contact with Russell weakened the depth and darkness he felt.
Until now.
When Russell saw this suicide note with only a few words, he felt as if his heart became heavy.
He was silent for a while, and almost instinctively, he gently brought his finger close to his forehead.
With ultramarine flames flying like butterflies, the "ultramarine" sitting on the bed turned into a "barber".
The barber stared blankly at the void in front of him, curling up his legs as if feeling the cold.
He reached out and carefully touched the void, gently stroking the words that were left in the air and only reflected in the bottom of his pupils.
The blue-haired young man said nothing.
Very complicated emotions piled up in my heart, eventually turning into a very heavy and slow sigh.
It's like mourning or lamenting.
It seemed to be angry, but also seemed to be relieved.
Countless emotions were mixed together in this way, and finally turned into a complex emotion based on bitterness, and he couldn't taste the ingredients.
"How could this be so..."
The barber murmured quietly.
It was only from Xiao Liuli's memory that I had a glimpse of her past and past.
But he has never actually experienced his life with Morgan... and he doesn't even have complete memories.
But the emotions welling up in my heart at this moment seemed so real...
The bottom of his pupils was a little moist, but no tears fell in the end.
Wanting to escape from the despair and sadness welling up in his heart, the barber stretched out his hand and wanted to take off his mask.
But when his fingertips touched his forehead lightly, he did not take off the mask.
That mask seemed to be glued to his face.
Russell was stunned for a moment.
Because of the momentary distraction, the sadness became less intense.
Russell tried to take off the mask again and this time took it off without any hindrance.
"...What's going on?"
This has never happened.
But Russell vaguely grasped a certain key.
"Not only do you have to act...but you also have to learn how to act?"
He murmured lowly.
If you really think that the person you are playing is yourself, then the mask... may not be able to be taken off.
Although it may be a bit far-fetched.
But Russell subconsciously began to think...
What if one day, I fall and become a devil.
What kind of devil will it become?
But this worry only lasted for half the morning.
Because Russell soon realized that this idea was not too far-fetched.
Because when Russell arrived at the company, he began to conduct routine inspections twice a month.
In the end, we found out something.
"Red four and blue five...you have to be careful, ultramarine."
Looking at the report handed in by Russell, Delphinium frowned: "Obviously nothing happened recently... but your red shift has increased by another level. Your blue shift did not increase as fast as the red shift for the first time. It seems that you Blueshift’s period of rapid growth has arrived. You have to restrain your desires.”
"I started from red two and blue four, and they all increased at the same time..."
Russell tried to quibble.
But Delphinium is obviously not that easy to mess with: "That's a special situation.
"You reached Red Three and Blue Five two months ago. In the past two months, your blue shift value has not increased...but your red shift value has increased by one level.
"Whether it's blue shift or red shift, level six is a hurdle. If your blue shift value doesn't increase, I'm afraid you'll be just one step away from being moved to surge."
Russell knew what Delphinium meant, so he also remained silent.
The blue shift value is quite difficult to increase...because it symbolizes a person's "maturity".
The more able to control oneself, the clearer the path one is on, and the less confused a person is, the higher the blue shift value will be. Level five blue shift is the limit for ordinary humans.
If you want to reach the sixth level, you need to climb over the "Twelve Palace Wall".
After crossing this wall, one is no longer a "boring mortal" but has some kind of "extraordinary divinity".
The way they perceive the world is no longer the same as ordinary people... From this point of view, all psykers who have reached level five or above and level six are actually madmen in a certain sense.
This is also the reason why the demon will reach the sixth level of red shift when it hatches.
If the red shift crosses this wall before the blue shift reaches level 6, it will degenerate into a demon.
Only those who are crazy and twisted like the bad guy... who have experienced his twisted childhood, who repeatedly smashed and reshaped their personality after crying hysterically, can directly reach the sixth level of blue shift when awakening spiritual power.
In other words, if you want to have a sixth-level blue shift, you must have the same level of mind as the inferior when you first awakened.
Russell always feels that... at least for now, he still can't seem to do it.
There's always a slight difference.
His originally too indifferent desire gradually reared its head...
People who originally hoped for nothing and asked for nothing are gradually awakened to desire.
He began to want to change something. And this desire became stronger with what he experienced.
But Russell's rationality to control this desire is still not enough.
Sure enough, I am a lazy dog.
Russell was crestfallen.
He occasionally thinks that if his roommate from his previous life came to this world with him, he might become a great person... That kind of monster-like self-discipline, in this world, would be a sky-breaking blue shift.
. Even if the emotions are out of control, the psychic energy will not be out of control.
So envious.
It would be great if I could follow behind the boss.
But no.
He has to stand up... because the person being relied upon becomes himself.
He is a "hero".
Russell, who had always relied on others, had to become a pillar of support for others.
Just like a young father who has his own children before he leaves the category of "child".
After the initial excitement, excitement, and elation fade away, confusion and timidity ensue.
…Can I really do this?
"I used to think that my greatest strength was rationality."
Russell lowered his head and stared at the tiles, murmuring softly: "But now it seems... it's still not enough."
If he is strong enough.
If he was reliable enough...he should have strongly intervened in Morgan's life.
Although he was vaguely aware of the dangerous work the other party was engaged in, he still took a chance and thought that "it shouldn't be a big problem", "after all, this has already happened."
This is a sign that I am not mature enough.
Russell used the misfortune of others as a hammer to beat himself.
"Why……"
Seeing Russell inexplicably falling into a certain emotion, Delphinium couldn't help but sigh.
The red shift suddenly increased by one level, something must have happened...
But she didn't ask Russell what happened.
Although she knew that if she asked, Russell would definitely answer.
However, Delphinium also knew in her heart that Russell was not the kind of character who kept his worries in his heart and longed for a tree hole to talk to.
At this time, he probably just needs a hug.
So Delphinium thought so, walked over and hugged Russell gently.