Those memory fragments belonging to Blue Bird floating in front of him... seemed so close at the moment.
What he just saw was the lowest memory in the mask of "Blue Songbird".
Russell still remembered that Fila should be Blue Bird's real name.
And Shirley seems to be Morgan's name before he got his code name...
"...I seem to understand."
He murmured in a low voice: "What on earth am I afraid of..."
The voices of Russell and the "Godfather" overlapped: "What are you afraid of..."
The deepest fear in his heart...is loneliness.
And these "masks" also have it.
The fear of being abandoned by the whole world, the loneliness that no one can help oneself - that is the despair that only permeates the whole body when a person is absolutely unable to solve the problem at hand.
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——His idea was wrong from the very beginning.
The fact that he can turn these people into his "masks" does not mean that he has inherited the other person's legacy, nor does it mean that they have any great talents.
He inherited too much will.
Countless people imitated and learned from him...
Before he met Morgan, he had never "sworn an oath" at all, but he still triggered his psychic powers and saw the traces that Morgan had carved in the non-existent history.
Therefore, if it is based on oaths and bonds, there seems to be something missing...
Now Russell finally knows.
What really brings them together is hopeless loneliness.
That feeling of despair that feels like the earth is falling apart when you are alone and facing a career that you absolutely cannot accomplish.
It was the fear that was similar to Russell's origin that resonated with his psychic abilities.
——There is no love without reason in this world, and there is no hatred without reason.
Bluebird never left Morgan until his death, and it was not without reason that he sacrificed himself in order to gain his love for the other person's safety.
His fear of the "Birdcage" and his hatred of the company were etched deep in his memory at an early age.
He may have forgotten this incident, leaving only residual impressions.
But the warmth and touch that one feels when someone breaks the cage in times of despair is like approaching a warm fireplace on a winter night, making Russell's body uncontrollably warm to the point of trembling.
Morgan's words seemed to echo in Russell's mind:
"Back then, I actually wanted to be a [hero]."
"At first, I wanted to have 'admirers'. After that... I wanted to be his hero. Be his hero."
"A hero is wind, light. Any force that is timely enough to change everything."
"Whenever he needs me, I'm there...
"——I think that's a 'hero'."
I see.
I see.
Russell murmured in a low voice: "In the beginning... it was right here."
Inside and outside the closed birdcage.
In the heavy snow covering the sky and the earth.
The "hero" who breaks the cage and the caged bird waiting for the hero to rescue...the fate of the two lonely people is intertwined with each other.
He finally knew why the "caged bird"'s psychic powers had never improved.
Because he simply didn't understand what "caged bird" meant to Bluebird.
That is not a prison. In other words, its meaning is not imprisonment.
——It’s about release.
Bluebird is not a person hiding in a cage and living an ignoble existence, nor is he a devil hoping to imprison others... The meaning of the prison is to break the cage.
It's about waiting for a hero who can arrive in time and change everything.
"……sorry."
Russell said softly: "I'm late."
His voice, which overlapped with "Godfather", was only one when he said this sentence.
That is Russell's own voice.
"That's not your fault."
A low and hoarse voice sounded from behind Russell.
When Russell turned around, the broken void around him suddenly disappeared without a trace.
Together with the previous temple, it also disappeared.
There is only a huge mirror in front of you.
And Russell sat in the chair, just like he had the previous conversation with Director Tokifat.
From his ankles, his palms, and his chest, a chain with the color of the starry sky spread out from each, and submerged into the mirror - symmetrically locked on the limbs of the person in the mirror.
——And the person sitting in the mirror is none other than Lan Geyu.
Like a real godfather, he crossed his legs and leaned back, with his hands interlaced and placed in front of him. This was completely different from Russell's posture, which was sitting upright.
The Blue Songbird in the mirror had a complicated expression: "Hoping that a hero will never be late is a luxury wish.
"After all, the 'heroes' don't owe them anything."
"them?"
"I don't think I need to be saved by a hero."
Blue Bird said gently: "There is only one person who can save me. And at that time, she also fell into another kind of suffering.
"Perhaps what I resent...is that there is no hero to save her.
"In other words, what I hate is myself.
"Why am I so weak? Why am I so incompetent?
"Why can't I save the hero who always saves me at the most timely moment?
"In other words... what I resent is precisely this world that requires heroes."
Russell looked at him and remained silent.
And Blue Songbird suddenly laughed: "It seems you have realized it.
"——Yes, I am your devil."
"…So, what is the container of God?"
"I am the vessel of God. The vessel that seals God and the vessel made by God are both vessels of God."
Lan Gegui looked at Russell and said meaningfully: "And you... are the god in that container."
"...What exactly do you mean?"
"I think my meaning is very clear. You are just deceiving yourself."
Lan Gegui sighed and reached out to grab the chain on his chest.
At that moment, Russell felt as if his heart was being grabbed by someone.
"What exactly is psionic energy? You should know it by now.
"If psychic powers are just psychic parasites attracted by memories and emotions...then how can the memories from other worlds we bring give birth to brand new psychic powers, demons that do not exist in this world?
"If this spiritual power does not exist in this world, how come there is an extra spiritual power that 'should not exist' because of the extra memory that has no origin? What is special is just this memory, or you
itself?
"Why don't you think about it carefully, what are you copying and imitating in another world?"
"I……"
Russell murmured unconsciously, looking down at his hands.
What did I copy?
What did I imitate?
Under Russell's gaze, his arm gradually began to melt.
But what was revealed inside was not the bones and muscles...but the black mist.
It is the black gaseous material that is constantly flowing like a nebula.
no.
Can't remember. Can't recall. Can't think of it.
who I am?
What am I?
"I am……"
"——Wake up, Russell."
Suddenly, he heard Miss Huachu's voice.
Just like when I was in class, I was suddenly awakened by the teacher's chalk while I was sleeping and awake——
When he suddenly opened his eyes again, he found that he was back at Hua Chu's desk, still holding the glass of water he had never drank before.
The last part of the memory began to fade away quickly... It was like trying to reach out to hold the smoke, but only saw gray-white smoke leaking from the fingers.
Miss Huachu was still sitting opposite him.
I don't know if she walked back from behind him...or if she never left?
...When did you start falling into a hallucination?
"It seems like your psychological problem won't be solved for a while."
Huazhu sighed softly.
She put her slightly trembling hands under the table.
From an angle that Russell couldn't see, the backs of her hands seemed to have been burned by something, leaving light black lines like blood vessels.
She didn't say when she would start the second treatment, she just showed a sweet and reassuring smile: "But I think, at least regarding the identity of 'godfather'... you should have sorted it out, right?"
"Yes. I finally know why the spiritual power of 'Caged Bird' cannot be upgraded."
Russell nodded and sighed: "It turns out that I didn't understand Blue Songbird at all before..."
He easily sensed the flower touch and was unwilling to treat himself again.
Although she doesn't know why...she has done enough for herself.
So Russell shook his ears, nodded seriously and said, "Anyway, thank you very much.
"This should effectively reduce the risk of me losing control."
"You won't lose control."
Hua Chu replied very firmly: "You must believe in yourself. If you don't believe in yourself, then believe in me who said this."
"...How should I put it? This is a bit subtle."
Russell couldn't help coughing: "It's better to say less."
Huachu was a little confused: "Isn't this what you said in an interview? Is there some gossip that I don't know about that is being circulated among young people?"
No, no, no, I was indeed making fun of the meme at the time, but if you don’t know that this meme still says that, it always feels like I am setting a flag...
"Anyway, thank you very much——"
"Oh, by the way," Huazhu interrupted Russell, "Remember to tell Xisheng and ask him to come back to me next week. I need to take a little rest this week..."
"Well...but before that, I happen to have something serious to ask you."
Russell suddenly thought that he still had "business" to do when he came here.
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"Brother Shen!"
"Um!"
When Shen Changqing walks on the road and meets familiar people, he will say hello or nod to each other.
But no matter who it is.
There is no unnecessary expression on everyone's face, as if they are indifferent to everything.
Regarding this.
Shen Changqing has become accustomed to it.
Because this is the Demon Suppression Division, an organization that maintains the stability of the Qin Dynasty. Its main responsibility is to kill monsters and monsters. Of course, it also has some other side jobs.
It can be said.
Everyone in the Demon Suppression Division has a lot of blood on their hands.
When a person is used to seeing life and death, he will become indifferent to many things.
When he first came to this world, Shen Changqing was a little uncomfortable, but he got used to it over time.
The Demon-Suppressing Division is huge.
Those who can stay in the Demon Suppressing Division are all powerful masters, or those who have the potential to become masters.
Shen Changqing belongs to the latter.
Among them, the Demon Suppressor Division is divided into two professions, one is the Guardian Envoy and the other is the Demon Slayer.
Anyone who enters the Demon Slayer Department starts from the lowest level as a demon slayer.
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Then he will be promoted step by step, and eventually he is expected to become a guardian envoy.
Shen Changqing's predecessor was a trainee demon slayer in the Demon Suppression Department, and he was also the lowest level among the demon slayers.
Possess the memory of the previous life.
He is also very familiar with the environment of the Demon Suppression Division.
It didn't take long for Shen Changqing to stop in front of a loft.
Unlike other places in the Demon Suppression Division that are full of chills, the attic here seems to stand out from the crowd, showing a different kind of tranquility in the bloody Demon Suppression Division.
At this time, the attic door was open, and occasionally people came in and out.
Shen Changqing only hesitated for a moment before stepping in.
Enter the attic.
The environment just changes in vain.
The fragrance of ink mixed with the faint smell of blood hit his face, causing him to frown instinctively, but then relaxed it quickly.
There is almost no way to clean away the smell of blood on everyone in the Zhenmo Division.
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