Chapter five hundred and seventy seventh three reflections on my body
(Yu Chen’s reflection)
From three years ago to now, how many important things have I given up? Just to pursue the unknown scenery in the world, I easily broke the rules that had been maintained for a long time and became whatever I wanted. This is mine
Sin, I am the sinner and I am the victim...
I really enjoy the process of studying the art of mechanism. Every time I decide to study the art of mechanism in depth, I will confirm whether the surrounding environment is suitable, then abandon all distracting thoughts in my mind and enter a state of selflessness. Maybe only at that time
, only then can I live seriously with a pure heart.
Could it be that the characteristic I possess, that is, my curiosity about unknown things, is simply boredom with boring daily life, or is it a kind of rebellion against a peaceful life?
Perhaps, my purpose is not that great, I just want to seek excitement and enjoy this unknown mystery. As for being good at strange mechanical skills, it is probably just that my thinking ability is different from ordinary people, and my hands-on ability is relatively different.
Stronger, so you can get started faster than others in the initial stage...
A long time ago, I have known that my growth curve is slightly different from that of ordinary people. In the initial period of the curve, my learning speed was faster than most people in the same period; but in the middle period of the curve, my learning speed was faster than that of most people in the same period.
The speed gradually slowed down and returned to roughly the same position as others; in the later curve, my growth rate dropped significantly compared to others.
Let’s put it in a more understandable way. I am like an athlete who can lead easily from the beginning, but the most fatal flaw is that I don’t know how to properly allocate my physical strength, causing me to end up in the last section of the track.
His stamina is obviously insufficient, and he can only watch helplessly as he is surpassed by others...
No matter how unconvinced he is, it has no effect. I have already accepted this characteristic of my own.
To sum up, the reason why I have no choice but to stay in Tiangong College to further my acting studies is that, except for the content of further studies, which I have basically understood in advance, it is probably because I am a little afraid that one day I will
Be surpassed by others.
Rather than continuing to occupy the throne of honor, it is better to achieve success and retire at the peak of your career. In this way, you may be able to successfully protect your past honor and protect your past glory.
Because I had never seen the scenery of the top before. During the period of studying at Tiangong College, with my outstanding talent and excellent attitude towards people, I quickly climbed to the top, which was once considered unreachable.
the apex of.
After climbing to the top with beautiful scenery, I was also afraid that I would fall suddenly. As the saying goes, the higher the height, the harder the fall will be.
I am a person who cannot easily satisfy myself. I have been working hard to pursue cherished things at first, but once I get those cherished things, I start to be afraid of losing those cherished things.
So at that time, I was conducting research on machine arts in Tiangong College, and I had been working very hard. I tried my best to maintain my advantages in machine arts, and at the same time, I generously guided the younger generations who admired me.
If you really choose, stay in Tiangong College for further study and get in touch in advance
There is an unsolvable bottleneck... and the final outcome will probably be to be surpassed by those students who study diligently.
I can neither imagine nor understand that terrible situation.
And aside from my excellent academic performance, I am not much better than others in other aspects. I am neither good at physical sports nor good at taking the initiative to please others. This is not an excuse to cover up a negative attitude, but
A clearer self-understanding... Well, from my own standpoint, I should understand it this way.
In fact, most of the credit for the fact that I was able to exert my strength far beyond my level during that period must be attributed to my own luck, which was like that of the hero of the novel during that period. Thanks to it, I was lucky in heaven.
Life in the College of Engineering has been very relaxed for a long time.
And that pink-haired girl, the me that Sakura Qimeng likes, should be the me who was ridden with good luck when she and I first met. But now, I have gradually lost that kind of luck. So I am not unlucky.
, I feel proud that a girl took the initiative to confess to me.
I am really not a perfect person, but just the opposite. Like ordinary people, I have different flaws. If God hadn’t happened to care for me and give me this special destiny, I would still be out of reach now.
Machine art and the human form will not have such a future full of infinite possibilities.
I don’t know if everything about me, my true self, has been noticed by some keen people. And knowing that others have seen through me, I probably can only continue to work hard to fill in my shortcomings, and then pretend
You don't understand. This kind of effort to betray yourself will make you feel depressed, but it is also something you have to do.
Maybe it's because I don't have many escape routes, and my usual thoughts are really a bit too cautious. Although before, under Sakura Qimeng's persuasive temptation like a devil's whisper, I also said some things in my head that I would never say no in normal times.
But most of the time, I just place myself in a reasonable range. But can what is stored in that reasonable range really be regarded as my truth? It is really without pretense.
Is this how I really feel?
I think... it shouldn't be like that. So I am just a shrewd liar. I have some unknown sides that I have never thought about and don't want to reveal to others.
I always feel that I am a little too self-aware now.
Although I appear to be sociable on the surface and can talk to others naturally in any environment, I actually don’t have many, particularly close friends. This is because I always deliberately suppress myself and make my relationship with other people less than I can.
In the further stage...enough is enough. This may be a bit too cunning, but it is also a special choice to protect yourself.
So I generally don’t take the initiative to talk to people unless necessary. After all, it’s a bit troublesome to get in touch with more people and increase your interactions with people. Of course, this also depends on different people.
Depends on the different personality charms you have.
Although I feel that it is very troublesome to establish too many interpersonal relationships with the people around me, I usually reach out to help people who are in trouble and need help.
But after I help, I often leave directly without giving others a chance to repay me. For me, this is also a natural reaction, and it is also an invisible salvation. It can prevent myself from doubting that I am a cold-blooded person.
, a person without emotions.
By the way, I don’t ask for too much help from others, so I will owe a lot of favors unconsciously. I always return favors back and forth, which is a big deal for me.
Troublesome things.
But, can I really observe myself objectively? This question can't help but arise in my heart.
As a result, even now, I haven't made any changes, or rather, I don't want to make any changes. No matter whether the things I do are good or bad for myself, it is like the past that cannot be changed.
, can no longer be changed.
This kind of self-defined rules really has a strong personal style.
And to most people, I am not irreplaceable.
No matter what aspect, I should be able to find a better substitute than myself, so I try to lower my posture as much as possible and am unwilling to give up easily any opportunity to realize my self-worth.
But as time went by, I gradually became confused and forgot what I was pursuing. Instead, I was always being dragged along by the rhythm of others. On what basis and for what purpose did I take the corresponding actions?
However, this may also be a good thing. At least it will not be easy for me to make a decision that I regret. But this is not the case. I often wake up and feel embarrassed for my blind following.
Even as an adult, I'm still like this.
Recently, after graduation, my necessary interactions with others have been reduced accordingly. Therefore, there are not many opportunities for me to owe favors in normal times. In this way, I can devote more energy to
The research on mechanism technique is in progress.
My first teacher in the art of mechanism, the string master, lived a very casual life every day. As I learned the art of mechanism next to him, I gradually became more casual in my daily life. Only when I encountered something worthy of excitement
Things will make you feel excited.
But considering the two people I see often at home, I still need to cheer up.
To be honest, I don’t even have a particularly important reason for Lingsi to stay with me. So I have to work hard to gain her approval...
Alas, is it already late at night? Once people are free, all kinds of thoughts gradually increase. When I grow up, no one will accommodate me like before, so I must also
Thinking about how to change my mood.
I still can't predict what will happen in the future of the Red Federation and its capital, Keno City, but I know that I must find the answer I want.
The thought finally ended.
I opened my clear eyes and wiped away the tears secreted from unknown emotions.
When will I be able to confidently say, "Every day in life is a miracle that happens continuously."