Chapter 167 Forgiving others is also forgiving yourself
Forget.
Kagura Raku got up at six in the morning, glanced at the clock on the desk beside his bed, opened his hands, and lay on his familiar big bed.
His eyes were staring at the ceiling, thinking about what forgetting was.
True forgetfulness...probably not being able to remember anything, right?
It's probably like being suddenly reminded of something you said three months ago, only to find that your mind goes blank.
After all, I can’t even remember what I was doing three months ago.
But why, obviously I have forgotten it, when Kanbaru saw the scene of Qi Mingyue holding a shark in the sky last night, there was still a faint touch in her heart - a little worried, with a blank head and a frown.
They all huddled together.
"So weird..."
In this state, Kanbaru held his head and got up. He opened the window, looked at the area near the bay and took a breath of air.
"Huh——"
Then he vomited it out.
The Asakusa Line runs on the elevated train near Tokyo Bay. If you look closely, you can see a man in a suit and leather shoes holding a hanging ring on the train. His face is tired and he looks like he hasn't woken up.
Do you have to go to the company to go to work early in the morning?
Or is it that he spent the night at the company and is now going home?
His face was full of fatigue, as if he was very tired.
I don’t seem to have any motivation to go home.
Kagura placed his hands on the edge of the bed, holding his face, and couldn't help but think of the family situation of the uncle on the Asakusa Line.
Is anyone waiting for him to come home?
Is anyone looking forward to his return home?
If there is no one at home waiting for them to return, can that place still be called home?
Or simply a place to sleep.
"Wait..."
The Asakusa Line tram moved away, and the uncle also disappeared. Kanbaru put his hand on his face and thought of himself and Suzu.
In the past, after he participated in club activities, he would go home on time, or wanted to go home.
I will also go out of my way to see if I have received any messages on my mobile phone.
Classmates would often ask him why he had to go back so early, and he would always answer that he had a younger sister waiting for him at home.
The moment she came home from shopping in the supermarket, she ran out barefoot and asked herself if she had bought anything delicious for her today.
Answer "Yes" or "No."
She would express herself in front of her, whether she was happy or unhappy, sulking and saying things like "Brother, you forgot again!"
Just by looking at her in front of her, she reacts to her actions and words.
It feels like I have encountered the warmth of home.
"What a sweet-tongued idiot." Kanwara thought of the scene he had often seen before, and laughed inadvertently, and the sullen feeling in his heart that he couldn't figure out also disappeared.
He crossed his fingers and pushed his waist upward.
"Well -" Kanbaru shook his shoulders, looked up at the coast again and said, "Forget it, let's talk about it later, go for a morning jog and relax."
I don’t know if Jiuliuli is awake or not. Do you want to call her?
Thinking about this, he came to the living room. Kanbaru took a cup and went to the open kitchen counter to get a glass of water. When he turned his head, he saw Tianhai Jiureli standing on the balcony, getting ready to take back his white shirt. p>
......
"Brother..."
Tianhai Jiureli also noticed her. She looked panicked, like a little girl whose secret had been discovered, and hid Kamara Raku's white shirt behind her back.
At this time, Tianhai Jiuliuli was still wearing the lace girl's pajama dress she wore when sleeping at night. Her white and petite shoulders were only tied with two white suspenders. Her flaxen hair was entangled, with a few clusters hanging down in front.
On her delicate wrist is also tied the bracelet that she gave her as a birthday gift.
"Jiu, Jiu Liuli?" Shen Yuanle held the water glass and was stunned for a moment. He didn't expect that Jiu Liuli... would actually steal the clothes he hung on the balcony, "You——"
"No!" Tianhai Jiuliuli realized that Kagura Le had misunderstood him, and quickly explained, "I just saw that my brother's clothes had been dried, and I wanted to take them off and iron the wrinkles on his shirt."
"This, that's it," Kanbaru responded and nodded, "it turns out to be ironing clothes."
"I feel that I have received a lot of care from my brother recently, but I don't know how to repay it, so..."
"I understand."
......
A big wave of silence followed between the two.
How should I put it, this situation is still very embarrassing.
Although Tianhai Jiuliuli did have good intentions, he was also bumped into the scene of getting clothes.
"Actually... you don't have to do these troublesome things at all. It doesn't matter if you go to rest. I can just iron the clothes myself."
"Brother, do you think it's a bit redundant for me to do this?" Tianhai Jiuliuli put his hands behind his back and raised his face.
"No, no, I haven't thought about it that way." Shen Yuanle noticed that there was a gentle light in her eyes, and she was watching him silently, "I just don't think you need to bother to do such a thing, I can just do it myself."
"...But for me, I don't seem to have anything that my brother needs. During this time, my brother has been taking care of me, as well as taking care of Qi Mingyue and Suzuchan... My brother seems to be always giving.
, it’s always like this..."
So that's it...
Tianhai Jiuliuri is actually very insecure, and she already understood this the day Shen Yuanle held her and let her cry in his arms.
I gave her some affirmation, some care, and some places where she could relax and cry.
She began to want to get closer to herself.
Kanbaru understands that if there is a person in the world who can unconditionally support and encourage him, and can get warmth and comfort from him, he will want to be close to him no matter what.
The same was true for Kanbaru Raku at the beginning. His family situation suddenly improved and he lost the direction of his efforts.
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When she felt that it might not make any difference whether or not she was in the family, Jiuliuli gave her the affirmation. She told herself that her brother was a very important person. He cooked for everyone every day and did housework for everyone every day. He was also gentle.
He works hard...No matter where you look, he is a very good brother.
Kagura Raku still remembers the beautiful appearance of Jiu Liuli standing on the balcony, smiling at herself in the night wind.
——Thinking about this now, Kanbaru will realize that he was too impulsive before, so cruelly said Jiuliuli Yitong...
You know, Jiuliuli's strength is just a disguise.
Having been used by her mother since she was a child, she has never had any fulcrum and has always been trying to be gentle by herself.
Those words "Don't pester me anymore, it's very annoying" can be seen combined with Jiuliuli's behavior of still making lunch for herself after hearing it.
Kanbaru felt guilty and felt particularly distressed at the same time.
Because she has been in need of someone who can support her since she was a child.
"Brother?"
"Ah, it's nothing... I just thought of something. In addition, I don't think you have any unnecessary performance in doing this. On the contrary, it is a very happy concern. It means that you care about me, isn't it?
?"
Tianhai Jiuliuli listened to every word of Kambaraku's smiling words clearly.
The girl pursed her lips, lowered her eyes slightly, and placed the white shirt in her hands in front of her face.
She felt herself becoming a little embarrassed for no reason. She wanted to look at his face, but for some reason, she was embarrassed to look at him. His words seemed to give an indescribable power to her heart, which was warm and
It's comfortable and makes people feel excited.
"Then...can I help my brother tidy up this dress?"
Kanbaru simply doesn't want to trouble her.
But ironing her clothes might make her feel better?
Thinking about it this way, it seems that I have no reason to refuse.
"Okay, I'll leave it to you then. It's just a trivial matter. Jiuliuli doesn't need to worry about it so much."
"Well, I understand, thank you brother."
"I'm going to prepare breakfast first. I'm going to wear this dress to school today."
"No problem." Tianhai Jiuliuli picked up the clothes and nodded.
......
Watching Tianhai Jiuliuli take her white shirt and enter her bedroom.
Kagura Raku looked back at the clock in the living room and realized that half an hour of running out at this time was not enough time.
"Forget it, let's start making breakfast."
Kanbaru shook his arm and went to the refrigerator to check the ingredients.
The bread...is gone.
The eggs...are gone.
Milk...is gone too.
Just some lettuce and bacon.
"Forget it, let's cook some noodles today."
After collecting the water, Kanbaru put the noodle pot on the gas stove and turned to medium heat to boil the water.
Then Kambaraku went to his bedroom and started to change clothes.
His habit is to change his pants first and then his clothes.
While I was wearing my belt, there was a knock on the door.
"Brother, can I come in?" Tianhai Jiuliuli's voice came from outside the door.
Kagura Raku was not wearing any clothes at this time. He suddenly thought that no matter A Ling, Jiu Liuli or Qi Mingyue, they were too embarrassed to see his upper body?
Fortunately, Ah Ling has seen a lot, and even asked me to touch it to see how it feels.
Jiuliuli and Qi Mingyue are different, they are both embarrassed.
Both sisters are surprisingly innocent.
"Well, come in." Kanbaru quickly put the T-shirt he had taken off back on before answering.
After receiving a yes, Tianhai Jiuliuli walked in carrying a shirt, "I helped my brother iron the clothes...are you changing clothes now?"
"Yes."
"Would you like... let me change it for you?"
Although Jiuliuli had taken care of her collar several times before, this was her first time changing clothes, which was somewhat strange in terms of their relationship.
"Isn't it possible?"
No?
It's not that it's impossible, but it's just that Kanbaru cannot take the initiative to take off his clothes in front of girls. It's okay if the other party peeks at her secretly, but taking off his clothes on his own initiative is completely different.
And... Kanbaru Raku knows that he sounds a bit like an uncle when he says this.
It shouldn’t be a big deal if you ask jk to help you change your clothes, right?
Nowadays, Tianhai Jiuliuli, who is wearing a nightgown and carrying a white shirt, is too cute. Her eyes, expression... the way she looks at her is impossible to ignore.
Agree?
Don’t agree?
Kambara hesitates between these two choices.
In the end, he followed his reason and agreed to her request.
"Okay..."
"That's great."
Although Tianhai Jiuliuli said that she wanted to help change clothes, it would be embarrassing for anyone.
She had no choice but to suggest that she turn around and put on her white shirt before continuing.
"Are you ready?" she asked.
"Okay."
Tianhai Jiuliuli turned around and saw Kaname Yuara wearing only a white shirt. His appearance reflected in his eyes, "Brother is very handsome."
Being praised like this by a beautiful girl, even if Kanbaru doesn't show anything on the surface, he will still be happy in his heart.
Qia Qia Tianhai Jiuliuli's voice is very nice, with a little bit of surprise.
"Jiuliuli, don't you want to help me get dressed?"
"Well, okay," Tianhai Jiuliuli was reminded, and quickly found a set of Shen Yuanle school uniforms from the closet and came behind him, "brother, raise your hand."
This is the first time in Kambaraku's life that someone has taken care of him and put on a piece of clothing.
Putting his hands through his cuffs, Kanbaru saw in the mirror Tianhai Jiuliuli's slender white hands stretching out behind him, wrapping them around his neck, and helping to hold his collar.
Her movements are very careful and meticulous.
Will she clean up every fold of clothing?
It can be seen that Tianhai Jiuliuli is actually very willing to help her get dressed, even if it is just a small thing in life.
If you are cared for by such a girl, you will become more decent and cleaner outside, right?
I couldn't help but feel happy.
Kaname Yuara suddenly wanted to hug Jiu Liuli, but he didn’t know if she would agree?
Just say it?
It's absolutely impossible not to say it directly. If you want to ask why it's not possible, it's because he, Kamigahara Raku, can't say such a straight man's words.
"...I heard that the people who can help me get dressed are the most trusted people around me." In order to cover up his embarrassment, Kambara even touched his face.
Tianhai Jiuliuli obviously reacted and heard a voice behind him. She couldn't understand what Kambaraku meant by saying this for a while, "Is there...is there such a sentence?"
"Yes, yes, look, aren't the people who can help with dressing the role of mothers or wives..."
This sentence that Kanbaru said while hesitating was a temporary answer that never crossed his mind.
After thinking about it for a moment, he felt like he was giving himself a slap in the face.
[Aren’t they all mothers and wives?]
——Isn’t this a hint to Jiuliuli?
Obviously, this sentence was indeed misunderstood by Tianhai Jiuliuli.
She hesitated, her cheeks began to heat up involuntarily, and she even dropped her hand holding his collar.
Shyness of girls is one of the most embarrassing situations that Kagura Raku encounters... At this time, he will not know what to say to the other party. What he says will make the other party even more embarrassed and dare not respond to him? p>
However, it is obvious that Tianhai Jiuliuli is not the kind of girl who is always shy.
She took the initiative to ask.
"Is my brother hinting at me?"
"No, that's not what I meant. I originally wanted to say something, but some of these words just came out of my mouth."
Tianhai Jiuliuli laughed unexpectedly, with a sweet and gentle smile.
Kanbaru felt strange, "Why did you laugh suddenly?"
"Because, I suddenly felt that my brother was also very cute, so I hurriedly explained, not wanting me to misunderstand him."
"I'm cute?"
"Yeah, very cute."
What is the connection between myself and cuteness... Although I seem to be a bit innocent, I am the kind of person who is embarrassed to take the initiative to hold hands with girls.
Ah, maybe it’s because of this that girls think you’re cute?
"My brother must have something to ask me, right?"
"How did you tell?"
"Because that sentence was so abrupt just now. He suddenly mentioned the person he trusts the most... and the role of mother and wife..." Tianhai Jiuliuli hesitated, and his voice became louder and louder as he spoke.
Small.
Jiuliuli's current posture and eyes made Kamarale begin to wonder if she had misunderstood what she said.
Is she really expecting this?
Kanbaru had a vague feeling, but didn't dare to ask.
When I asked, she was shy and didn't say anything, and she was embarrassed to death.
"What did my brother want to say to me just now?"
Jiu Liuli asked about this, and Kanhara Le also felt that he should be more frank, and said in a slightly awkward tone:
"Yeah, it's nothing. I just think you are cute, Jiuliuli, and I really want to... hug you."
When Kambaraku said the words "I really want to hug him", Tianhai Jiuliuli's movements almost stopped, and the thoughts in his heart almost changed. Finally, he understood what he was talking about, and became so shy again.
Blushing again.
"...Okay." She whispered.
"...Is it that simple?" Kambara was also a little hesitant.
"Well, it's just a hug...it's nothing, and besides, I really want to..."
"Think?"
"...It's just what you think." Tianhai Jiuliuli couldn't finish the sentence in the end.
"You really want to be hugged by me?"
......
"Well..."
Kanbaru can understand Jiu Liuli's desire to get closer to her, but it is precisely because of his understanding that Kanhara feels that she is particularly cute at this time.
Then, try to hug me?
As a man, Kambaraku still thought that he should take the initiative. When Tianhai Jiuliuli looked a little embarrassed and shy, he reached out and hugged her.
Very soft and comfortable.
His hands went around the shallow pajamas around her slender waist, and the sweet fragrance poured into her nose, and her heartbeat couldn't help but speed up.
Kanbaru doesn't dare to get too close at all, as he is afraid of touching something special and causing discomfort to the other person.
But even so, holding it gently makes people feel quite happy.
During this period, many emotions came up.
Jiuliuli has always been a person who lacked support since she was a child. In the eyes of her mother, her efforts for more than ten years have not been able to gain any recognition of her daughter's identity.
She looked like this, reminding Kanbaru of the day when she cried in his arms.
She pulled the clothes on her chest tightly, feeling weak and helpless. She was abandoned by her mother and had lost the meaning of her existence, and was bullied by her childish words and actions.
...When thinking of all these things, Kanbaru couldn't help but feel how pitiful and weak the real Jiu Liuli in his arms was.
Facing herself who has also hurt her, can Jiuliuli really feel at ease here?
......
However, when Jiuliuli pressed against her chest, this doubt seemed to be dispelled by her.
"Brother..."
"Huh?"
"Thank you..."
"Why do you suddenly say thank you?"
"When you took the initiative to say you wanted to hug me...I felt like I was forgiven..."
This sentence made Kanbaru's heart stop, and then he opened his eyes.
He looked at Jiuliuli hugging him in the mirror and understood everything.
Yes... as far as Jiuliuli is concerned, she is actually the one who feels guilty.
It was me who took the initiative to let her cry in my arms when I was still angry.
It was me who took the initiative to stand up and speak for her in front of my aunt when she was still angry. It was also me who stopped crying for her and said a series of words to comfort and encourage her.
After thinking about this, Kanbaru couldn't help but hold the girl in his arms for a while longer.
In fact, I was also wrong in this matter.
Rather than forgiving her, it might be better to say that he faced his childish side.
From now on, I will never do such childish things again.
......
When he came to his senses, Kanbaru realized that the water in his kitchen was still burning, and he quickly ran over.
After Tianhai Jiuliu opened it, she was still reminiscing about the reassuring feeling of him hugging her... As soon as she thought about it, her face couldn't help but be stained with a blush of shame.
She walked out of the bedroom and came to Kambaraku.
At this time, he had already added cold water to the pot and was preparing to cook the noodles again.
"That's right."
"What's the problem, brother?"
"Didn't I give Qi Mingyue a shark doll before?"
"Yes."
"I've been thinking about it all night...Why do I always feel like I've seen it before? I...seem to have seen a similar scene somewhere, a girl holding a shark doll or something..."
Kaname Yuara raised his head and looked at Tianhai Jiuliuli, who was obviously stunned, "Jiuliuli, do you know?"