Chapter 446 In the end, Tianhai Qimingyue still chose to retain the love in her heart
I don't know how I feel.
I don't know how to describe my mood at this time.
When Tianhai Qimingyue faced the person in front of her, she never thought that he would think this way from the beginning...
"So what were you planning to do?"
"...Is it important?" Raku Sakakihara asked softly.
"Of course it's important...I want to know your answer."
Sakakibara's eyes stayed on her face for a second longer, shook his head, and took the initiative to throw away her hand, "Nana Mingyue, it doesn't matter how things are."
"Then what do you think is important? After everyone no longer needs you, you choose to take on everything and leave alone? What good will this do to you...? The good things will always be left to others, then you
What about yourself?"
Tianhai Qimingyue completely understands.
After he was completely angry, this guy knew that with his own personality, he would continue to make people around him uncomfortable and miserable.
My sister, Ling, Zhixue, myself... are all like this.
That's why...he would deliberately say those excessive words to himself after that, and continue to encourage and cultivate Ling Yuxue's growth to fulfill his sister's dream.
This bastard understands his own mistakes and knows that there is no way to solve these mistakes. No matter which side he chooses, he will hurt the other side... That's why he puts a hand in everyone's back, and when he hates him, everyone
When people no longer need him... go away silently.
"...idiot."
Tianhai Qimingyue thought about this kind of person for a long time, and finally could only find this word to describe him.
"...scold me again?"
"The one I'm scolding is you, idiot, idiot."
Although he was a little tired, Nanami Mingzuki still looked so domineering even now... Sakakibara Raku felt even more tired and uncomfortable.
"Okay, okay, since you hate me so much, then don't say so much in front of me, and leave me alone -"
Under the street lamp, Sakakibara Raku hadn't finished speaking. When he raised his head, he saw the little bit of crystal in the eyes of Tianhai Qimingyue.
...Why are you still crying?
Besides, she is Qi Mingyue, she... can cry?
Sakakihara Raku discovered that in the eyes of Amami Nanamigetsu staring straight at him, there were not only tears, but also the true feelings that she had not expressed in her heart as her eyes trembled.
what is this...?
Can’t bear to leave yourself?
From her perspective, the things she did were not enough to make her angry?
It's not that Raku Sakakihara wants to escape from them, but that when he is around a few people, he will only cause them to cause unpleasant things again and again. This brings pain to everyone, and makes the wounds in everyone's hearts irreparable.
.
Since Qi Mingyue hates herself so much, since Ling, Zhixue, and Liuli have all been hurt again and again because of her.
Then, let "they no longer need to be by their side" and let them "live happily and happily on their own"... This is enough.
"...Then what should you do?" Tianhai Qimingyue asked this question again on the bank of the Thames.
...
What should I do...?
To be honest, it seems that I have never seriously thought about it, nor have I seriously dealt with this issue.
In my last life, I was miserable and no one could like me.
Hmm... It's probably because of this relationship that I want to take care of the unloved people around me again and again. I want to give them warmth and care.
This is also equivalent to redeeming myself from the suffering in the past.
I don't want them to end up in the same miserable situation as I did in my previous life.
What should I do...?
I never thought that as long as I could help people in the same situation as myself, I would be able to gain happiness and salvation.
It's the same feeling as a child who grows up in an orphanage and wants to start a family in the future and doesn't want his own child to become an orphan.
...
"You guys...are always like this."
"Why am I always like this... Qi Mingyue, don't you have the same bad habits? You have a vicious tongue, you are also arrogant, and you are also extremely aloof... You are obviously feeling very uncomfortable, but you still insist on saying that you are fine.
Are you okay? I don’t know if you’re really okay? You’re still saying you hate me while you come to the UK to play pretend games with me... Is it fun? Since you hate me, why don’t you go further away?”
"Because you are always such a bastard."
"how do I...?"
Before Raku Sakakihara could finish his words, he felt something bump into his arms.
He lowered his head and looked... His hand had been subconsciously placed on the flaxen hair, and she had put her head on his shoulder, their heads intertwined, and they were filled with breath and breath.
It's the familiar fragrance of green apple.
...
...
There were no words, just the sound of the wind blowing by the river.
This is probably because Tianhai Qimingyue wants to use practical actions to convey her inner thoughts at the moment.
——Still, I don’t want you to leave.
She hugged her waist tightly, and the words she spoke through the movements of her hands were so clear.
...
However, Sakakihara Raku didn't think there was anything heartwarming about this.
You must know that an hour or two ago, I was arguing with her on the bedside.
The relationship that had been estranged for a long time was now so close again, and Sakakihara Raku just felt very uncomfortable.
He sighed softly and said earnestly:
"...before...you were the one who said you hated me."
"I must correct you. First of all, you are the one who hates this word. I just said that I can no longer accept your endless compassion." Amami Nanamiyue said calmly on Sakakibara Raku's shoulder.
"But in July, didn't you get the thing you most expected in your life because of this compassion?" Sakakibara opened his hands outwards and did not choose to take the initiative to hug her.
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"Then this cannot be the reason for you to accept other women. I...can't accept that you chose to break your promise..."
Hearing these words that were almost like a whisper...
Raku Sakakihara once again heard the insecurities that existed in her heart in the past...
Why is July so insecure...?
It's not difficult to guess now... She is afraid of being abandoned... just like her mother left her alone on a rural platform in the past.
He is obviously a lonely and aloof person... what he is really afraid of in his heart is actually loneliness.
July... is also such a contradictory person.
"...You are holding me like this because you don't want me to leave?"
"..."
"If you don't say anything, take it as your acquiescence."
"..."
"What is there to miss about a rotten person like me? I can't take responsibility for my feelings. I can't satisfy people. I have to keep messing around with women. You are so good. Wouldn't it be better if you left me?
"
"..."
After waiting for a long time, Sakakihara Raku saw Amami Kuruuri smiling at him on the other side of the street lamp.
He sighed and avoided looking.
"...When I left for England, my aunt said something to me."
"What words...?"
"When you are angry, you will always only see the bad side of things. Just like when you are quarreling, everyone will bring out the past mistakes of the other party and repeat them. In the quarrel, you must devalue the other party to be worthless.
This will establish your own victory.”
"...What does Qi Mingyue want to say through this?"
"This is irrational. Because magnifying the worst side will only make the good sides of the past disappear... Many things are not irreversible, but they are just temporarily carried away by irrationality. And I need
I will never be able to repay you what you have given me..."
"..."
Hearing this, Sakakibara couldn't help but sigh.
July... is actually talking about the care he gave her when she was a child, right?
Her feelings are too deep, and because she understands her own character, she has never felt safe.
"Not just the beginning, but the gift someone just gave me on my birthday..."
"..."
Don't know what to say.
Should I say July? Is it too affectionate?
On the surface, she seems to care the least about relationships, but in fact she is the one who needs them the most among all people?
"...I don't know who said that I didn't need a gift that day."
"Ugly, no need."
"You are still being stubborn. If I had given you an ugly one in Qiu, you would have accepted it. After all, which girl is so stupid and likes shark dolls so much at this age."
"If you don't need it, you don't need it."
"You're still being arrogant... But that's it. If you weren't arrogant, you wouldn't be you in July. Who doesn't know that you are a sharp-tongued guy with a sharp mouth and a heart of heart. Did you rush to the UK to find me after your aunt said I wanted to die? Who wants to die?
, I just feel tired and want to go out to find out if there is any other place that can make me happy."
Sakakihara Raku raised his head and saw the night sky filled with stars.
"Actually, I have already thought about it. I will go to a remote orphanage to stay. I usually help the children there with cooking, tutoring and homework. I want them to understand that they don't have to envy normal families. In this
In a big family, everyone is a brother and sister, everyone will support each other, and everyone will move forward. There is no cynicism, and we never laugh at the shortcomings of family members, but tolerate and guide each other in a friendly way.
He grows and changes."
"...It's really your style." Tianhai Qimingyue said.
"Haha, what else? If everyone can say thank you to me, I would be quite satisfied."
"No wonder those children in the orphanage liked you so much."
"...Well, if nothing else, I am quite popular with children."
Chatted.
The atmosphere has indeed relaxed a lot.
"but......"
Sakakibara took the initiative to push away Nanami Nanami, "July... Just these things don't mean that the wrong things I did don't exist——"
Halfway through his words, a slender index finger touched his mouth.
Tianhai Qimingyue stretched out her hand. Although her eyes were a little red, she still looked like her usual faceless face:
"I know what you want to say? You think that the wrong things you have done cannot be ignored, and what you do around us will cause us to be hurt again and again. But are these not your arrogance, brother?
"Look at the sisters in the back, think about Ling now, recall the snow now... Which of them didn't become what they are today because of your good side? Have they grown up differently?
"Without you, I would never have grown up so well in that family environment.
"Zhixue is still living every day in my hometown without you.
"Without you, my sister will only realize her dream of becoming a star in the art world under her mother's control.
"They are all as bright as they are because of you, brother."
Tianhai Qimingyue's eyes shone brightly, and her tone became softer.
"Brother, you should never only see the bad side of things. Everything has good and bad. Even if they are, I will think you are a bastard at some point, but this does not mean that your good qualities will disappear. If it were not for you
For everyone's good, we... will never get together and experience a different life in a life with twists and turns but fun.
"If Ling knew that you would leave her side, she would definitely cry the hardest, abandon all her work, and desperately want to find you. For her, after more than ten years of experience, you are her life.
..The same is true for Zhixue, for my sister, and for me.
"Brother, while you save us, we... will also care about you.
"Brother, your position in everyone's hearts is far more important than you think."
...
The wind by the river blew the girl's flaxen hair.
Sakakihara looked at her real face, her sky-blue eyes, and her throat rolling gently along with the water beside her.
He didn't know why, but he smiled lightly.
He laughed heartily.
Then...it was interrupted.
"Of course, there is a premise." Tianhai Qimingyue crossed her arms.
"What...?" Raku Sakakihara was shocked that this warm moment was interrupted in less than a moment.
"Explain clearly why you chose to take Zhixue back and how you plan to settle her."
"...She is really like a young lady, and she is aloof and condescending."
"Shouldn't I ask this?"
"Yes, yes, Second Miss Tianhai, of course you should ask. But according to Second Miss, does she want to get back together with me? Sorry, I won't agree."
"... To be precise, after I understand that you are not so selfish, I want to take back what I said before - wait, what do you mean?"
"How can we get back together less than three months after we broke up? I think it would be nice to have less restraints on weekdays."
"...Do you think what I said is not enough? Do you want me to say it again...?"
"..." Sakakihara Raku just wanted to make a joke, but he didn't expect that Nanami Nanami would care about him again.
Seeing Tianhai Qimingyue rarely be so sincere, he no longer meant to be joking.
He put his fist into his mouth, coughed twice and said:
"Ahem, don't worry, I really have no intention of seeking death. From the beginning, I just wanted to go out and find something to do."
Tianhai Qimingyue stared at him with half-closed eyes, "I said it so lightly, but I just wanted to carry everyone on my back and fly away."
"...Don't worry about these details. Also, in July...about Zhixue, what do you think now?"
Tianhai Qimingyue first sighed helplessly, then crossed his arms and said:
"What happened to Zhixue was not your or her fault in the first place. I have never hated her or anything. I just feel that your previous actions are unacceptable to me."
"What now?"
"I'm very angry now...but since Lingdu said she won't get married, why don't I understand what she means? Now it's just one more Ling..."
As Tianhai Qi Mingyue spoke, she put down her hands again, sighed and said, "It was my fault that Zhixue took my casual response last time seriously. It was also because of that incident that Zhixue's problem surfaced in advance.
Out of the water... But since brother, you can deal with grandpa, then there won't be so many things in the follow-up. In addition, if brother, you didn't argue with your father and grandpa, my sister and I wouldn't be able to live so comfortably in the back.
, from this point on, I still have to thank you.”
"Are you done with...?"
Tianhai Jiuliuli, who had been watching behind for a long time, appeared behind her sister at this time. She was extremely happy to see that the two of them could communicate so calmly now.
"Look, look, Lejun, let me just say Qi Qi followed me here from Tokyo in a hurry because I was worried about you!"
"..." Sakakibara Rakudo looked at Amami Kuruuri who was dressed exactly the same as Amami Nanamiyue, and thought of what happened tonight, "Today, the whole day -"
Tianhai Jiuliuli explained with a smile: "It was me in the morning, and July in the afternoon! Then it was me in the bathroom, and I was chatting with Lejun at the door of the hotel...actually it was July."
The one who lost his high heels was July...?!
"..."
"Lejun has been deceived. Can't you tell the difference?"
"...Don't play like this again, I can't recognize you."
"It can only be someone's problem if they can't recognize it." Tianhai Qimingyue interjected.
Tianhai Jiuliuli hugged her sister's arm and smiled: "Isn't it interesting? Besides, Lejun, where will Qiyue stay tonight? You can't let her have a hotel room by herself. It would be nice for me to chat with her tonight."