Mr. Ye is really good at playing with birds. He caught an eagle in just two days, a real prairie eagle, and a small eagle. This is not a night owl played by Mu Yu.
Jumping around, Mr. Ye, who he originally regarded as a enemy, was immediately regarded as a god in his eyes, and he worshiped him as a master of falconry.
Because of this bet, Mu Yu unconsciously became Yang Hao's man. However, where Yang Hao will move to another country is still unknown. Besides, he is too young. He has to be older if he wants to work in the yamen.
He's two years old, so he can't travel with him yet.
We stayed at Mu's house for another two days, and on the third day, the people sent by General Zhe to greet the imperial envoys and immigrants arrived. The person who came was Ma Zongqiang, the Marquis of Yu, the military capital under General Zhe, and he was accompanied by
The local military commander was Chi Zhong.
Ma Zongqiang is a young man in his early twenties. In the northwest, there are many warriors who pick up swords and go into battle to kill the enemy at the age of thirteen or fourteen. However, it is rare to see someone in their twenties who becomes an official and becomes a military officer. This person must be
There is no doubt that Zhe Yuxun's confidant is Chi Zhong, who is the commander of the local military capital. He is in his forties, has deep eyes and an eagle nose, and is of some Hu origin.
Yang Hao borrowed the Mu family's living room to meet the two generals. When the hot tea was served, Ma Zongqiang said with a spring breeze on his face: "Yang Qinchen, knowing that the imperial envoy brought the people of the Northern Han Dynasty to Fuzhou, Jiedushi was overjoyed. I wanted to
I have come to welcome you personally, but I am too busy with official duties, so I have ordered my general to come on his behalf to respectfully welcome the imperial envoy and all the people to Fuzhou. As a solemn sign, the leader of the Red Army will personally lead his troops to escort you there."
Chi Zhong hugged his fists and said loudly: "I am honored to be the pioneer of the imperial envoy angels."
Yang Hao said hurriedly: "Military Lord, you're welcome. Now that the soldiers and civilians have been safely brought to the territory of Fuzhou, I, the imperial emigrant envoy, can do it. Yang Hao has a humble position and does not dare to treat you with such courtesy as the two adults.
Now that Yang Hao has arrived here, he should obey Master Jiedushi's arrangements for everything. However... I still have some questions in my mind, General Ma, I wonder how Master Jiedushi plans to settle these tens of thousands of people? Yang Hao should go to the mansion.
Gu has seen Master Jiedushi, but tens of thousands of people have traveled all the way to mobilize troops. Master Jiedushi is sympathetic to the people. If there is a place to resettle them, it is better to send them directly to the place of resettlement."
Ma Zongqiang smiled and said: "Well, Envoy Yang doesn't have to worry. The Jiedushi Master has already chosen a place for these tens of thousands of people. There are beautiful mountains and clear waters, thousands of miles of fertile fields, where you can cultivate, herd, fish and hunt. These tens of thousands
The people can definitely live in it, and they don't have to worry about their future livelihood. Li Yuchang, the official, has already rushed to build houses for the people. The necessary rice grains, cattle, plows and other supplies will not be allocated by the imperial court.
Lord Jiedushi will also allocate and borrow money from the local area, and he must let the people settle down first..."
Yang Hao was overjoyed and brought these people out, and his imperial mission was over. How to arrange the rest was a matter for the court, and he didn't have to worry about it. But after spending so many days together, sharing life and death, they developed feelings for each other.
Every time he visited the people in the forest, he was welcomed and supported, and he could deeply feel the people's dependence on him and their desire for a peaceful life, and that sense of responsibility would never go away.
After discussing with the two generals and taking a short rest, Yang Hao said goodbye to everyone in Muke Village and led all the people to Fugu. Tens of thousands of people are always slow to move, but no matter how slow they are, there is always a way to the end.
At that time, after a few days of traveling, Yang Hao would arrive in Fugu tomorrow. Yang Hao was so excited that he tossed and turned in the tent for a long time and couldn't fall asleep. He simply put on his clothes and got up and left the tent.
This is a grassland, with Chizhong's men and horses guarding it on the outside, and in the middle is a place for the people to rest. The people have all lived in marching tents, and there are no lights in each tent at this time, only the lights lit by the soldiers around.
Piles of bonfires, like stars in the sky, are lined up outside.
Yang Hao walked to the height of the green grass slope and sat down on the grass. Under the quiet starry night sky, he looked in the direction of Fugu. His mind was a little erratic for a moment. After escaping from death several times, he now had to hand over the important responsibility. He felt relaxed.
, but there is also some emptiness and confusion. A man must always have some responsibilities and bear some things to have the motivation and meaning of life.
However, now that the responsibilities are over, is he really relaxed? Bazhou. Bazhou... Yang Hao couldn't help but turn his head and look back. In Bazhou, there were his most difficult years and his sweetest memories. Now that
Everything was like a mirror, and when he looked back, he was already alone...
"Bazhou, Ding Chengye!" Thinking of the pain, Yang Hao tightened his fists.
"Yang Hao!" A sudden call came from behind. Yang Hao's body was shaken, and his clenched fists slowly loosened. He turned around and saw Tang Yanyan standing down the slope. She had a tie on her shoulder.
She wore a soft cloak. The cloak swayed with the wind, and her long hair flew up. The bun of her hair had been broken up, and her long hair was spread down. The soft long hair hugged her face, and her face was
The shining eyes are as bright as the stars in the sky.
"Miss Tang, are you still awake?"
Tang Yanyan smiled, clasped her cloak with both hands, and walked over step by step under the starry sky. The steps were light and soft, like a cat walking among the grass. This was the first time Yang Hao watched her walk.
Showing such a feminine scent. After that night, this was the first time the two met at night.
"Aren't you the same?" Tang Yanyan sat down next to him generously and turned to look at him. Perhaps because she was closer to her home, she became more courageous and looked very peaceful.
Yang Hao had a tacit understanding and did not mention the embarrassment of that night. He smiled serenely and said: "On this journey, I sometimes fight against the heaven and the earth, sometimes against enemies like wolves and tigers, and I have escaped from death several times. I am about to finish it."
After completing my mission, I felt a little confused and empty, and I couldn't sleep."
Tang Yanyan smiled and said: "I really don't understand what you men are thinking. Why are you so confused? You should be happy to be relaxed after handing over this job. After this matter, you, the governor, are so confused."
Is it time for a promotion?"
"Maybe." Yang Hao looked into the distance and smiled sadly: "Luo Kedi is dead, Liu Haibo is dead, Helong City is dead, there are many soldiers and many people, I am still alive now, I just feel... I am alive.
I owe them a promotion...I don't feel happy, but full of uneasiness."
"You, please don't make yourself so miserable, okay?" Tang Yanyan held his hand emotionally and said softly. Her little hands were cool and cool, as if she had just taken a bath, and her skin was smooth and tender: "You don't owe me anything.
Whatever others need you to do, you have already done it, and done it well. You don’t know how much the people trust and support you now. Make sure that all the people from thousands of households and from different states and counties are sincerely convinced.
Do you know how difficult it is to respect a person? If you do it, you will be a great hero. A hero does not necessarily have to wield a sword and chop off people's heads. What you pay is no less than those of the dead soldiers."
Yang Hao looked at her with some surprise. He didn't expect that this girl who had always given him the impression of being unruly and willful would actually have a tender and gentle side. When Tang Yanyan saw him, he suddenly remembered that he was still caught.
Holding the other person's hand, his face couldn't help but heat up. He hurriedly pulled his hand away and said coyly: "Actually... I'm not that unruly. It's just... there are a lot of brothers and cousins in the family, but there is no one."
Sister, when people hang out with them, they are used to talking loudly. If you don’t talk loudly, they won’t be afraid of you.”
Yang Hao couldn't help but chuckle, and Tang Yanyan said anxiously: "What I said is true..."
"Of course I believe it." Yang Hao looked at her beautiful face with a smile, and somehow suddenly remembered the amazing things he saw in Puji Temple that day: Su Yue's slim waist, perky and plump buttocks,
Like a peach that has just turned red. This face and that face appear alternately in my mind. They are all unforgettable sights. A savage woman suddenly becomes as gentle as water, just like a cold-faced woman.
The beauty suddenly smiled charmingly, which had a very visual impact and made people feel distraught.
Tang Yanyan was flustered by his burning eyes. She shrank subconsciously and asked in a low voice: "What's wrong?"
Another beautiful figure suddenly appeared in Yang Hao's mind, like a refreshing gardenia petal, which awakened his mind. He shook his head, and the sudden blazing flame in his eyes dimmed: "It's nothing, girl.
Go back to bed early. I'll sit down for a while and then go back to rest."
He turned his head and looked up at the stars in the sky. Tang Yanyan stared at him quietly for a while, then raised his head, but what caught his eyes was the bright starlight every day, hovering in his heart, lingering in his heart, but
He is always there. There are many brothers in the family, and this is not the first time she has been so close to a man. Why is she so nervous this time, her heart beating so fast, and her face so hot?
As if she had drunk a pot of fine wine, Tao Tao was dazed for a long time. She couldn't help but put Yang Hao's shoulder and asked in a low voice: "What happened here, will you stay here?"
Yang Hao came to his senses and said hesitantly: "I'm afraid... I can't make the decision on this matter."
Tang Yanyan smiled shyly and said, "I'm asking you what you want. If you want to stay here, I can ask the third brother to make an argument for you. He has always been on good terms with the eldest son of Zhefu, so it's easy for him to make a move for you."
, I’m just... afraid that you won’t be able to let go of the colorful world in the Central Plains.”
Yang Haodao: "The colorful world in the Central Plains?" He sighed with emotion: "I once heard someone say something. That person said that if you are in heaven in your heart, then you will be in hell in heaven. If you are in your heart, it is heaven.
Hell, then being in heaven is also hell. Without relatives, friends, or the person you want to be with day and night, what will happen even if you go to the prosperous place in the Central Plains?"
Tang Yanyan's face turned red. She... finally heard Yang Hao's personal confession. The little girl was filled with joy and felt shy for a while before she lowered her head and said softly: "You... you have me in your heart...
…I’m very happy…”
"Hmm?" Yang Hao was startled at first, and then suddenly realized. She thought... the person she said she wanted to be with day and night was her... How could there be such a misunderstanding? Dong'er had just passed away, and Qianying was still vaguely there.
In front of him, Yang Hao was still heartbroken. Although the girl in front of him was quite exciting and he liked her straightforward temperament, he really had never thought about further development.
At this time, seeing that the girl misunderstood him and confessed his affection, Yang Hao realized the seriousness of the problem. In the girl's mind, as soon as she had a lover, everything would be fine. But he had already lived through his dream.
At your age, how can you only think about love and not care about anything else?
This attempt to seize the festival was a treasonous act, and there must be censors in the court to impeach. However, it successfully brought tens of thousands of people out of the Northern Han Dynasty. While preserving the official reputation, it seriously weakened the strength of the Northern Han Dynasty, which greatly affected the great power of the Northern Han Dynasty.
In the Song Dynasty, it is like the merit of expanding the land. Once this merit is accomplished, whether it is rewarded or punished depends on the official's thoughts. Now that he does not know the ups and downs, how can he think about his family?
He must go back to Bazhou to settle that grudge. Without Ding Chengye's evidence of guilt, it would be difficult for the officials to handle it. If personal power is used, the consequences are difficult to predict. Furthermore, Tang Yanyan is the eldest daughter of the Tang family, and the Tang family is rich.
He is so powerful that he might not be able to take an eighth-grade official into his eyes. Can he agree to marry the eldest daughter of the Tang family to him? The Tang family is dependent on the Zhe family. If he marries the eldest daughter of the Tang family, then
It meant that he was on the side of the Zhe family. He couldn't remember any vassal town in the history of the Song Dynasty that could compete with the Zhao Guan family to the end, and they were all cleaned up in the end. Is it worth it to sit on a sinking ship?
With all these concerns, Yang Hao hurriedly clarified: "Miss Tang, you... misunderstood me. Yang Hao has no plans to start a family yet."
Tang Yanyan was even more shy. Her chin almost touched her chest. She covered her face with her sleeves and said shyly: "I...I don't want you to marry me right away..."
Damn it, this matter is getting more and more serious. Yang Hao's face turned a little pale and he stammered: "Girl...you...I...I mean, I am burdened now, my future is uncertain, and I don't want to involve my children."
Private affair."
"What?" Tang Yanyan raised his head in excitement, his face turning a little pale: "You...what do you mean? If you have no affection for me...for me, then...then why did you...when you broke the bridge in Zhulangchuan...
Why did you confess to me like that?"
Yang Hao said in astonishment: "On Zhulang River? When did I confess to you on Zhulang River?"
Tang Yanyan was furious and jumped up and said: "Are you going to cheat? At that time, you pointed at me, pointed at your heart, pointed at the sky, pointed at the sky..." Tang Yanyan explained plausibly, and Yang Hao listened.
Yang Hao was stunned. He didn't expect that he would make such a big mistake in the riddle. Yang Hao was frightened and stood up quickly to explain his original intention.
Tang Yanyan heard this like thunder. She didn't expect that it was all her own fault. She felt ashamed and ashamed for a moment, and felt a sad feeling in her heart that she had never felt before. Her nose fins twitched a few times, and her two big noses twitched.
His eyes were filled with tears.
Seeing her tears welling up in her eyelashes, Yang Hao felt quite uneasy and hurriedly said: "It is Yang Hao's blessing that this girl is beautiful and beautiful, and she is willing to favor me. However, Yang Hao is burdened too much, how can he dare to give it to me?"
What kind of promise can a man make? How can he be worthy of such a deep affection from a girl..."
"Get out of here!" Tang Yanyan's face turned livid and she pointed at the tip of his nose bitterly.
"Miss Tang..."
With a cry, Tang Yanyan became angry and unsheathed his sword: "Get out of here, keep rolling, or you won't get out!"
Yang Hao knew that he was much bigger than that long worm, and no matter how bad Miss Tang's accuracy was, she would never miss with her sword. Now that she was angry, it was better not to provoke her, so she ran away without stopping.
Tang Yanyan stood there with his sword in hand, gritting his teeth as he watched Yang Hao flee away, then suddenly chopped and stabbed his sword randomly, crying loudly: "Hello, hello, I told you to get out, and you really got out.
You heartless bastard..."
Cheng Dexuan, who specially lived in a tent with the military secretary, was sitting cross-legged under the lamp and writing furiously. He vaguely heard someone yelling "bastard". He immediately pricked up his ears with guilt and listened carefully.
There was no sound anymore. Cheng Dexuan was worried and hurriedly tiptoed to the door of the tent. Like a groundhog, he stuck his head out and looked around. Seeing that there was no movement, he slipped back to the lamp, picked up his pen and wrote again: "
... Yang Hao was riding on his horse, and when he first heard the people shouting "Long live", he was so happy that he couldn't control himself. When he saw that the ministers and the soldiers of the imperial army were standing up without kneeling, he became alert, hurriedly dismounted from the horse, faced the east, knelt down, and shouted "my emperor"
Long live'……"
Han Dexuan finished writing the letter to Zhao Guangyi and looked at it carefully under the lamp. When he saw that there were no mistakes or omissions, a cold smile appeared on his lips. He blew on the ink marks, carefully folded the letter and put it in his arms.
He reached out and flicked out the candle, and the eerie smile was submerged in the darkness...
At dawn, Yang Hao was ready to put on his clothes. As soon as he lifted the curtain, he saw Ma Zong, the military commander of Fugu Army, standing in front of him. He was startled. Yang Hao took a step back and said, "Ma Zong."
The general is here, what can I do?"
Ma Zongqiang coughed dryly and said, "Envoy Yang, Miss Tang left with her people before daybreak."
Yang Hao was startled and lost his voice: "Ah! Where have you gone?"
"Go back to Fugu."
Only then did Yang Hao feel relieved. He thought for a while and smiled bitterly to himself: "My future is uncertain now. How can I fall in love with someone and secretly make a lifelong commitment? Isn't it enough that I have already killed one person? Miss Tang, let me tell you something
I have worked so hard, but I don’t expect you to understand. The long-term pain is not as good as the short-term pain. Yang Hao is really sorry..."
He breathed a sigh of relief and pretended to be calm and said: "Haha, Miss Tang has more than twenty brave warriors and followers. They don't have to walk slowly with us. Let's go first... Ahem, let's go first.
.”
Ma Zongqiang said with a strange expression: "Miss Tang, before leaving, asked me to bring you a message..."
Yang Hao became nervous and asked guiltily: "Miss Tang...what did you say?"
Ma Zongqiang's expression was even weirder: "Miss Tang said that she and the brothers from the Tang Sect will be waiting in Fugu. The account in Puji Temple, including the principal and interest, must be settled with you, Mr. Yang...
"
When Yang Hao heard this, he was stunned.
Seeing this situation, General Ma thought to himself: "It's pitiful. Looking at his character, Imperial Commissioner Yang really owes me a lot of money..."
In Fugu, Baihuawu, in the Baihu Festival Hall of Yong'an Army Jiedushi, Zhe Yuxun was dressed in military uniform and sitting upright.
The Jiedu envoy has six banners and two front teeth flags, and has the right to open an office in the mansion, which is called the festival hall. Because the festival hall is generally set up on the west side of the mansion, and the white tiger symbolizes the west, it is called the White Tiger Festival Hall. The white tiger hall is
This important place for military aircraft is equivalent to the armaments headquarters for future generations. Major non-military matters cannot be handled here.
At this time, Zhe Yuxun was sitting high on the commander's hall. In front of the hall, dozens of tiger generals were standing in armor. Zhe Yuxun was majestic. He raised his voice to mobilize the troops. His voice was sonorous and powerful. The generals responded to the orders incessantly. Wait.
After the order was finished, Zhe Yuxun stood up from the table and said to the generals who stood as solemn as a mountain: "The generals sent their troops to various places to guard strictly to prevent the bandits from entering and causing chaos. I, the general, personally led the army to quell the chaos of the seven parties.
, Generals, please step back."
The generals shouted loudly, and the leaves of their armor rustled for a while, and then they all left their tents. Those who were ordered to increase their troops to guard the key passes immediately galloped away. Those who wanted to follow General Zhe to quell the rebellion went directly. The school grounds are on standby. There are also army sergeants, secretaries, and clerks, delivering orders, dispatching troops, and dispatching grains. It's a lively scene.
After all these people had retreated, there were only five generals left in the hall. Except for one of the five, who was around thirty years old, the other four were all young generals. Although they were all in military uniform, they did not look older than them. One is over sixteen or seventeen years old. The thirty-year-old general is Zhe Yuxun's younger brother Zhe Yuqing. The four young generals are Zhe Yuxun's son Zhe Weizheng, Zhe Weixin, Zhe Weichang and Zhe Yuqing's son Zhe. Haichao.
After all the outsiders had gone, Zhe Yuqing took a step forward, cupped his fists and said, "Brother, the swords and guns in the battle formation have no eyes, so be careful when you go here."
Zhe Yuxun chuckled and said: "Hey, it's not like my second brother doesn't know the purpose of my going here. What's the risk? Haha, but even if I leave just to show off, I won't be able to come back for a while, otherwise, in the eyes of the government, It must not look good. I have already sent a memorial to the officials. The first is to explain that the Seven Parties of the Party have rebelled. I have betrayed someone who has been loyal to the country and went to fight against the thieves myself. The second is to report to the officials. Tens of thousands of people from the Northern Han Dynasty have arrived in Fuzhou safely. The envoys of this festival arranged for them to go to Luhe Ridge, a place with abundant water and grass and thousands of miles of fertile fields..."
Zhe Yuxun's youngest son Zhe Weichang interjected: "Dad, I'm afraid once the officials know the terrain there, they will know that dad is wary of the court."
Zhe Weichang is only twelve years old this year, so he is indeed younger, but from the Zahu in the northwest and the Khitan people in the north, many people go into battle to kill the enemy at the age of twelve or thirteen. As the son of a general, Zhe Weichang is not necessarily young. He went into battle at a young age, but whenever there was a festival to mobilize troops and generals, Zhe Yuxun would also let him wear armor and stand on duty to receive training.
Hearing his question at this time, Zhe Yuxun burst out laughing. He stepped down from his position, patted his son on the shoulder and said, "Chang'er, the Zhao Guan family still needs to understand the geographical conditions there before they can understand your father's intentions? But see The war in the northwest is rising again, and your father personally leads the expedition, so he knows it very well. It's just that it's hard for both of us to break up this layer of shame. I give him a step, he lets me go, and everyone just muddles along."
After saying that, Zhe Yuxun turned to Zhe Yuqing and said: "Second brother, Luheling is the name of the local area. I mentioned it vaguely in my memorial. The officials will not know what it is for a while. After I leave, then An imperial envoy is here, you must leave him in Fuzhou and send someone else to lead the people to Luhe Ridge."
"Leave him in Fuzhou? Big Brother's intention..."
"Yes, let him stay in Fuzhou. What if he goes to Luhe Ridge and discovers the subtleties of the geography and immediately raises objections? Even if we are pretending to be polite to the officials, we have to be polite now and break the news. If you are shameless, you will look bad at each other. So, if you want to keep him in Fuzhou, if he likes money, give him money, if he likes wine, drink with him, and if he likes women, Wei Zheng, give him those of the Qin family and the Tang family. All the friends are here to accompany him to look for flowers and willows. In short, let him stay quietly in Fugu until the immigrants from the Northern Han Dynasty settle down in Luling River, and it cannot be changed."
Zhe Yuqing and his four nephews clasped their fists at the same time and responded loudly: "General, I will obey your order!"
Zhe Yuxun tossed his long beard, Danfeng narrowed his eyes and laughed.
When Yang Hao and his tens of thousands of people were about to arrive in Fugu, they separated at a fork in the road. The people were led by local officials sent by Fugu on a westward road, saying they were going to Luhe Ridge.
General Chi Zhong led his troops to escort him all the way. Yang Hao was invited to the city to meet with Fugu dignitaries.
General Zhe's arrangements for the journey were very orderly. No matter where the people went, the local fortress would provide them with hot porridge and hot food, and they would welcome them very attentively. The Chizhong army was guarding them during this trip, so Yang Hao had nothing to worry about.
In fact, it is useless for him to worry. His mission is to bring people out safely. This mission has been completed. Now how to resettle these immigrants is a matter for the local government, and he no longer needs to worry about it. It's just that he, the imperial envoy, has not yet returned
According to the decree, the Jie Yue is still in hand, and the general is selling Zhao Guan's face to save face, so he is so polite to him. Otherwise, with his official rank and power, even Ma Zongqiang, the Marquis of Yu in the military capital, would dare to talk to him with his eyes crossed. Who would
Will be so polite to him.
Fuzhou City is divided into the South City and the North City. The two cities face each other across the river and are horns to each other. The North City is built on a mountain ridge, facing the Yellow River, with steep cliffs. The terrain is difficult and easy to defend but difficult to attack. There are four gates in the east, west, and south, and three gates in the south, south, and west.
There are small gates, towers are set up at each city head, and urn walls are built inside the south gate, north gate and small west gate, making the city a copper wall and an iron wall. Baihuawu, the residence of the Zhe family, is located in this city.
On the south side of the North City, there is a deep stream that faces the Yellow River to the south and the mountains to the north, called Yingpanling. Heavy troops are stationed here. To the north of the North City is Shizuiyi, which is also a military fortress in Fugu. The North City faces the Yellow River and is backed by mountains.
There are barracks and fortresses on the left and right, tightly guarding Baihuawu in the middle.
The terrain of the south city opposite is no less dangerous than that of the north city. A large river flows from the north to the east and merges into the Yellow River. One side of the city faces the river, and the other side leads to the Linzhou grain road. The other two sides are cliffs. Three sides are easy to defend and difficult to attack. Only one side is
A flat river. Once this city is lost, it will be difficult to recover.
The city that Yang Hao was going to enter was Nancheng. Compared with Beicheng, Nancheng was more prosperous and rich. Many important government officials and wealthy gentry lived in Nancheng. Seeing that he was about to enter the city, Yang Hao couldn't help but worry. With his official position, he naturally
He didn't expect General Zhe to line up outside the city to greet him, but he was very afraid that Miss Tang would bring out all the disciples from the Tang Sect to greet him at the city gate.
If we arrive at Fuzhou City and see hundreds of strong men from the Tang clan standing in front of the city gate, and a crying little lady standing in front of it, stopping the horses and cursing the unfaithful people, it will be a spectacular sight, and I will be embarrassed.
Went to grandma's house. According to Tang Yanyan's personality, it's not like she couldn't do this kind of thing.
Therefore, seeing that he was getting closer and closer to the city, Yang Hao was walking on thin ice as if he were facing an abyss, trembling with fear. When he saw his solemn face while sleeping on the wall, he couldn't help but smile and said: "You have even seen the official family. This time I went to see you."
How come you, a military governor, are so nervous?"
Yang Hao touched his chin and said with amusement: "Su, do you think I am so charming? I have never dressed up in this flash of swordsmanship, so why am I attracting bees and butterflies?"